Me, My Brother, and My Roommate

Don't you love the sounds of sex? The bed springs pumping up and down at just the right tempo, the slapping of naked bodies against each other, the deep breathing getting more intense with every pump. The sound your lover makes during an orgasm. God, these do turn me on.

The sounds of sex are even more erotic when you're supposed to be quiet. Someone is in the next room asleep, and you can't release a forceful howl when you come. Instead your voice is muted and your ears are piqued to the faintest sounds-the slightest change in your partner's breath, the softest whisper in your ear about what to do next.

I'm a red-blooded American female, and I love sex as much as anyone. And, no question, it wouldn't be the same without the sound. But what if you're the person in the next room asleep? Or, more accurately, supposed to be asleep?

A month before, I'd moved into my very first apartment. I must say that it was a moment of pride to finally take such a step toward independence. For the past 3 years I'd lived in a dorm, but this was getting old. Of course, it would have been great to get a place of my own, but I couldn't swing the rent by myself. Fortunately I'd found the perfect roommate: my high school best friend, Callie.

Finding a perfect roommate is almost as hard as finding a spouse. Maybe even harder, because you have to like each other without any sex to smooth over the rough patches. But Callie had been in exactly the same situation as me: tired of the dorm but too poor for her own place. Plus, we'd known each other forever and get along like sisters. I'd been dreading the thought of finding a roommate online, wondering if every person is an axe murderer. Or worse, if they keep the place too cold.

Callie and I had looked at a bunch of apartments before deciding on this one. We'd both known this was the one when we'd walked in. It's close to campus, all the better to maximize our sleep, and it's only five years old, with classy cabinets, cool pendant light fixtures over the kitchen counter, and at least twice as much closet space as some of the older places.

The only problem is that we'd decided on a one-bedroom place. See, this nice new complex so close to campus was also the most expensive we'd looked at, and even the one-bedroom place was a little over our budget. The two-bedroom was completely out of the question. But we'd had roommates in our dorm rooms and survived fine, and this one bedroom was actually much bigger than our dorms. It'd seemed worth it at the time.

I suppose we should have thought more about what would happen if Callie (or I) brought a guy home to our solitary bedroom. We'd actually joked about this before renting the place, but at the time it had seemed mostly humorous and theoretical, especially when we were used to such restrictions on male guests in the dorm. Anyway, we didn't think it through, and now the sounds of sex I was hearing for the second night in a row were coming from Callie in our room while I tried to get comfortable on the couch. It wasn't working.

--

Will, my little brother, just started at the same college as me and Callie. He's 18, three years younger than us. And I usually like having him around. I was actually glad he picked the same school because I knew I'd get to see him more often.

I asked Will to help us move into the new apartment, in the spirit of family togetherness, and the even stronger spirit of free labor. He was glad to help, and I'd truly been grateful. I guess Callie and I could have moved all of our stuff by ourselves, but it was so much easier with Will around to do the heavy lifting. Of course Will and Callie knew each other, because Callie had been over to our house all the time when she and I were in high school. But Will and Callie hadn't seen each other for a few years until moving day.

Some odd things had happened that day. One time I'd been in the bedroom unpacking my clothes and I'd heard the two of them giggling from the kitchen, a longer giggle than really needed, in my opinion. Then later when we'd sent Will to get a pizza, Callie offered to go along, even though there was a lot still to unpack. These little things hadn't really struck me as unusual at the time, but in retrospect I should have noticed that the two of them were hitting it off.

Well, they apparently hit it off quite well, because the two of them were now in the only bedroom in our apartment. Judging from the sounds, they were both quite enjoying themselves, now for their second night.

I do have one tiny confession to make: Listening to them have sex wasn't entirely annoying. If I'd been in a random hotel hearing sex from the next room, I might have had a different reaction. But I couldn't get it out of my mind that these sounds were coming from these two people I knew so well, but in ways so different from how they now knew each other.

Before moving day, I never thought about Will as someone's sex partner. He was always just my little brother, who played with his computer a lot and who could be counted on for a clever remark at just the right time. Admittedly, he was now an adult, perfectly capable of attracting a woman.

But it was still strange for me, listening to the flesh in the next room and realizing that the sound was the result of my little brother pumping his cock into my best friend. To be honest, visualizing this scene while I was lying on the couch kind of turned me on. Callie sounded like she was trying to keep from being too loud, because I could hear soft grunts and moans that sounded like they came from a closed mouth. Later the little noises came with increasing urgency, but no louder. Then, a minute later, a slightly audible sigh suggested that her peak had passed.

At this sound I was proud of Will for making Callie fulfilled, and then I was immediately revolted for thinking such a sexual thought about my brother. I couldn't push away the sexuality, though. When I heard Callie reach her peak, I instinctively put a hand inside my panties and found my lips damp and slightly parted, and my middle finger slid along the length of my slit only about three times before being engulfed within. My rising sexual energy couldn't overcome one more feeling, one that took me a few minutes to identify: envy.

Yes, I was envious of Callie, because she had just had a stunning orgasm and I was stuck on the couch with a finger in my cunt. But these conflicting emotions kept whirling. Was I envious of her for having sex per se, or for having sex with Will? My heart literally leaped as this thought passed through my head, but I didn't let it linger. It was just the orgasm, I told myself. I hadn't had a scream-out-loud orgasm for months, and as the pace of my finger quickened I'd realized how much I needed one.

--

At some point I must have drifted off to sleep. I woke up on the couch, lying halfway on my side with one arm tucked up between my chest and the cushion. A tiny throw pillow was on the floor, and my head was in the most awkward position.

I remembered my situation and held my breath for a few seconds, listening for anyone else. I heard nothing, but still tried to keep quiet as I unfolded my arm and lifted my head to look at the clock. When I did, the pain in my neck surprised me by its sharpness, and I sat up all the way to find a normal position. It felt like someone was shoving the edge of an iPhone against my neck, but from the inside.

The clock said 6:14 a.m. I hated to be up so early on a Sunday morning, but I couldn't bear the thought of lying back down on that infernal couch. I got up and tottered toward the kitchen, trying in vain to find a way to hold my head that would make the pain go away. I found an ibuprofen and forced it down with a glass of tepid tap water.

The memories of the previous night started to roll back to me-the panting and grinding from the bedroom, my feelings about what Callie and Will were doing, the finger in my panties, followed by the second, then the third.

The memories were unforgettable, but the ibuprofen hadn't kicked in yet, so my neck had my full attention. The thing is, my bed is reasonably comfortable. It's kind of small, just twin-sized, but I always get a good night's sleep there. I've never woken up with a pain in the neck. Now when I needed my bed the most, it was (I assumed) sitting vacant while Callie's twin bed was uncomfortably stuffed with the two of them.

It occurred to me that, surely, I'd be back in my bed by that night. On Sunday night Will would surely be back to his dorm room to get ready for the week of classes ahead. It's not like I didn't want to have Will around, but if the choice was between Will and my bed, there was no question.

For her part, Callie works at a gym really early on Monday mornings, so she'd need a good night's sleep. Most Sundays, I stay up much later than Callie and creep stealthily into my bed around 11 or 12:00 after she's long asleep. At this thought I let out a mild sigh of relief, looking forward to the return of normalcy. Or perhaps the relief was coming from the ibuprofen.

Certainly this couch routine was not sustainable even if it was just on the weekends, but I had some time to decide how to approach Callie about it. It's important to get off to a good start with a roommate, even one you know well, and I wanted to figure out a way to approach her with a gentle touch and a subtle wit. I had plenty of time to think about it, and I was sure she'd be open to reason.

Just as I was feeling better, a horrid, petrifying thought pierced my mind: The next day was not a normal Monday, it was Columbus Day. Classes were cancelled. I had no idea whether Callie would still have to work at the gym, but I feared the worst. What should have been a joyful thought of a three-day weekend instead sent me back to despair.

At that moment I decided I couldn't wait even one more day. No gentle touch. No subtle wit. I had to tell Callie we had a problem.

I did feel better after some breakfast and some coffee. There was still a low ache in my neck, but it was manageable.

About 8:00 the bedroom door opened and Callie padded out wearing a humongous white T-shirt she often wore to bed. She probably had panties on too-I certainly hoped so-but there was no way to tell because her shirt was so long. Her hair was unkempt and she looked sleepy still, but Callie always had a physical appeal to her even in the early morning. She closed the door behind her.

"Hey," I said.

"Morning." She noted the pot of coffee I'd brewed, found herself a mug, and filled it. "Thanks for making coffee," she said.

"No problem. How was last night?" I asked, picking an open-ended question to let her tell me as much or as little as she wanted.

"God, Amy, it was incredible. You know how sometimes after you're with a guy for a few times, the sex starts to get kind of repetitive? Well, it isn't like that with Will. He's like-" She paused and look directly in my eyes before continuing. "Jesus, I'm sorry, Amy, I don't mean to talk about your brother like that. I'm sure it must make you feel weird."

"Yeah, I guess it does, kinda."

"I usually tell you about guys I go out with, but I'll try to keep quiet about Will."

"Well, if there's something you want to tell me, you can. It seems kinda weird but I'm sure I'll get used to it." I pulled this line out of thin air, and after I said it I wondered whether I meant it.

"Well, I'll just say that Will is one hell of a lover. Nuff said." Nicely played on her part. No details, complimentary of him, and gently putting the brakes on that line of conversation.

I was quiet for a minute and we both sipped our coffee.

"So, here's the thing, Cal," I said. "I'm totally happy that things are working out with Will. I really am."

Her eyebrows arched and she said, "But?"

"But I really need to sleep in my own bed. I just about broke my neck on the couch last night."

"Amy, how horrible! I wasn't even thinking about where you'd sleep-I'm such a horrible roommate."

"No, you're not horrible, but can we work something out where I can sleep in my bed?"

"Sure, absolutely. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, nothing really," I said. "But is Will staying over again tonight?"

"We haven't talked about it, but God I hope so. No classes tomorrow, you know? Plus, I can't exactly sleep over at his place since he's in a dorm."

"Yeah. But don't you have to work tomorrow?"

"I do," she said. "So I'll be up early."

"Callie, I sure don't want to be the one keeping you apart from this helluva lover-" I was about to add another "but", but Callie interrupted me.

"Amy, I've got it! We'll switch rooms tonight. You can climb in your bed anytime you want, and me and Will will hang out on the couch. The bed isn't all that comfortable for both of us anyway, and to be honest at night we just totally crash with our arms and legs all pretzeled together. We're both so exhausted from-" She stopped herself, grinned, and then started again. "We're both so exhausted. I'm sure we won't mind the couch."

I thought about this suggestion only long enough to imagine the bliss of my own bed before saying, "That would be so great, I really appreciate it, Cal. You're the best."

With that, Callie put her mug in the dishwasher and practically skipped back to the bedroom, where the stepped in and closed the door behind her.

Then I started thinking more about our new arrangement. If the couch wasn't comfortable for me all by myself, it sure as hell wouldn't be comfortable for the two of them. I don't care how "exhausted" they are. And I couldn't help where my mind went next: I looked over at the couch and imagined the two of them asleep there, buck naked, limbs intertwined. Something must have been wrong with me, because my first reaction to this image was that I couldn't wait to see it. I had to shift in my seat at that thought.

--

Sunday was mostly filled with homework and chores. Laundry, shopping, painting my nails.

But my mind wandered way more than usual. What time would I need to go to bed before I would be keeping them from their exhausting activities? If I just yawned and went in the bedroom at 9:00, I think it would be patently obvious that I was just encouraging them to go at it. And I'd never be able to fall asleep so early, so this wouldn't solve the noise problem.

But if I waited until midnight, would they both be resenting my presence in the living room, desperate to put their hands all over each other and by corollary, desperate for me to be gone?

I loved them both so much and in such different ways, and yet I knew my love for them was wildly different from what they felt for each other. At this stage of their relationship, what they felt for each other was lust, pure and simple. They wanted each other, and they wanted each other naked.

One phrase kept rattling around in my head: Will is one hell of a lover. Had I ever been with a guy I'd say that about? There weren't so many in my past, but I evaluated the short list and decided that I wouldn't describe any of them as "one hell of a lover," certainly not to his sister.

What did a guy have to do to be called "one hell of a lover" anyway? Sure, a guy had to be up for certain "tasks" as Callie and I called them. Gentle, patient lovemaking? Check. Willingness to take control? Check. And of course, the biggie: eagerness, not just willingness, to eat pussy. Over the years Callie and I talked about other tasks guys conduct-to the point that the word "task" had become such a sexually-charged euphemism that neither of us could hear the word without giggling.

But just because someone does all the tasks, is he a "hell of a lover"? It's more than checking boxes. I found myself acutely interesting in having sex with a hell of a lover, to see what it's like. Then yet another weird thought crossed my mind: as of this moment, there's only one person I know of who's ever been described that way. If I want to have sex with a hell of a lover, does that mean I want to have sex with Will?

No, of course not. Just another thought to be shoved aside.

--

I needn't have worried about what time to go to bed that night, because Will and Callie weren't home. Callie texted me that they were going to see a movie, so I had the place to myself. It was about 10:00 when I decided I was tired of the couch and couldn't resist the chance to get in my comfy bed for the first time in a long time.

After changing into my normal sleeping outfit, sweatpants and a nightshirt, I finished my nighttime ablutions. I plugged in my phone on my nightstand, and then my brain turned to the state of my bedroom door.

I stood at the door for a moment thinking about it. We didn't normally keep it closed when Callie and I were home by ourselves, and it felt weird to close it now. But of course Callie had kept it closed while she was in there with Will. I guess when they got home and saw the door closed they would read it as my invitation to turn the living room into a den of iniquity. Closed it went.

However, I should also mention that the bathroom in our apartment has a door to the living room and a separate door to the bedroom. It makes it very convenient no matter which way you're coming from, but you do have to be sure both doors are closed when you go in there. When both doors are open, it provides another route to get in the bedroom besides using the regular bedroom door.

The sound of a slight clicking awakened me, and only then did I realize that I must have dozed off. My eyes popped open and the clock said 12:42. My eyes were accustomed to the dark, so I could see pretty well just by the outside security lights shining through our window blinds. The bedroom door was still closed and no one else was in the room. As my ears adjusted to being awake, I could hear someone in the bathroom brushing their teeth.

I should have been tired, but I started to think about Callie and Will getting naked in the living room, and I couldn't get back to sleep.

But then the bathroom door opened, and the bright light spilled into the bedroom for a couple seconds before closing again. Will came in the bedroom and headed directly for Callie's bed. His shoes were already off, but he quickly shed his pants and shirt, leaving them on the floor as he climbed on the bed.

I couldn't adequately process what was happening. My brother was in his skivvies on my roommate's bed, obviously not aware that I was also in here. Did he not realize that Callie and I had agreed to switch rooms for the night? Should I say something? Surely Callie would get him out of here once she was out of the bathroom, so I decided to keep quiet.

The filtered light from outside was coming through the window so it hit Will's upper leg, and I could see a streak of the blond hair on his leg almost glowing. Will had always had good legs, but at that moment I could see a bit more of them than usual. The hint of masculinity was, I must say, appealing. He shifted his leg slightly and the glow shifted to a different part of his leg.

The bathroom door opened again and Callie stepped through, making her way over to join Will with her smile growing step by step. Now three of us were in there, and the bedroom door hadn't been opened even once.

I waited for her to grab Will and drag him back out to the living room, but instead she threw herself on top of him and they kissed passionately. Only by pulling themselves away from each other did they remove the last of their clothes, but in a flash they were both naked. I wondered again if I should say something. By now they were far enough along in their encounter that my piping up would be awkward, but still it would be pretty damn awkward if they found out later too. Had Callie forgotten about our arrangement? Was she back in her bed again just by habit? Neither of them so much as glanced in my direction or even appeared to check to see if my bed was occupied.