Michael "F." Fassbender

Hi Guys!

I hope the years have been kind to all of you and that you can find it in your hearts to forgive my writing absence. I can't apologize for life, and I won't insult you by promising that I'll do better, but I do have things in the works and I will try and finish and release them. I started working on this story a few years back as you'll be able to tell by my music choices, but I do hope you like it. Let me know what you think in the comments, and thanks for reading.

Toodles,

Kitty

2015

I'd been with John since I was 18. We had two wonderful children together, got married, bought a house, and he'd paid for my Associates degree; all in that order. We supported each other through bouts of depression, loss of parents, growing apart (almost to the point of divorcing), injuries, surgeries; you know, the basic things that a couple that has lived and loved together for over two decades do. I loved him through it all, and I'd told him before we ever got serious, back when I was a child myself, that there were only two things that I could think of that he could do that would irreparably break us:

1.Hit me - if you hit me, then I'll hit you back. I might get violent on someone else, but not with my man. I'm from the school of thought that a man shouldn't hit a women...unless she hits him first, and then he should only hit her the same number of times she hit him and not as hard as he can, obviously.

2.Cheat on me - if I can't trust you, we're done. I refuse to wonder where you are, who you're with, or whether you're telling me the truth. Xan don't play that because Xan don't play games, 22 years later I still live by that motto and it's never steered me wrong.

After my beloved John paid for my Associates, I decided to go into sales because I have the personality for it and there's the potential to make really good money. After a few false starts, I found my niche in the finance industry and after working with a bank for a few years; I took advantage of their tuition payment program and got my Bachelors and finally, my Masters. Mia and Zane, our daughter and son, were about to graduate high school at about the same time as I was getting my Masters, so my John was as proud as he could be.

That was almost two years ago, and I don't know what went wrong but now I'm on a plane to Vegas with 5 of my best girlfriends after finding out that my formerly wonderful husband has been cheating on me for God knows how long.

*****

I was 17 when I met him, in the 5'7.5", 130 pounds best physical condition of my life. My hair was short then; not quite the "mushroom" cut of the '90s, but it was adorably me. My skin was a russet brown, at the time I thought it was my natural color but it was because I spent the majority of my time out in the sun - I knew black people tanned, and that I had some pronounced tan lines, but the difference between 18 and 40 year old Xan's skin color is almost "young vs. old Michael Jackson" by comparison...you know what I mean?

A friend of mine brought John over to my house, and he was older, funny, handsome, and Ginger. I had and have a thing for redheads, what can I say? Something about him resonated with me, and I would see him a handful of times before I just decided to go by his job to seek him out, and he asked me out on a proper date. The rest as they say is history because until yesterday, we'd been together ever since.

*****

So here I am, two days after my 40th birthday on a trip that I've been looking forward to for almost a year, wondering what on earth I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I'm feeling a lot like the love child of Debbie Downer and Buzz Killington as we walk through the airport, and I look at the ecstatic faces of my friends as they're still looking forward to our week-long girls' only getaway. They've left loving husbands and serious boyfriends behind, whereas I've left a part of my life behind.

I see my absolute best friend Salma turn around and look at me over her shoulder before she slows her pace, so she can walk beside me. She gives me a small smile, and a nod and reaches down, grabs my hand, and holds it as we continue walking. I truly love all of my girls, but Iloves my Salma; she's the only one I told, and I spent the last two days at her place. I give her hand a small squeeze in appreciation and pick up the pace and come to a realization.

This trip is a metaphor for me. I've left my old life behind, I'm middle-aged, and I have to start a new chapter in this book called life. What better place to get it started than in Vegas right?! What happens here, stays here...so they say.

*****

After a whirlwind day at the spa, followed by dinner and drinks at a restaurant in the hotel that I can't even remember the name of, the girls and I have found ourselves in one of the hotel's nightclubs. After a few dances with my girls, and waving off a few handsome and many more not-so-handsome guys I decided to let them have some fun on the dance floor without me for a bit. Not wanting to be a complete wet blanket, I chose to have a seat at the bar and have some more drinks to lighten my mood, or to numb the pain if lightening my mood is completely impossible.

As I neared the bottom of my fifth cosmopolitan in a little less than 30 minutes, and started to feel reeeaaaally good about my current situation, I hear a wonderfully accented voice speak up from the seat next to me.

"You didn't look like you were having a good time dancing with your friends, and with as quickly as you're knocking those back; you should have a huge smile on your face, yet you still look down. A woman as gorgeous as you should always have a smile on her face."

Even though he sounded sexy, I wasn't in the mood so I started speaking before I even looked at him.

"Well since we've never met, and you don't know me from Adam, what makes you think you know me? For all you know, this could be the way I celebrate...holy shit! Either I've had entirely too much to drink, or you look incredibly like Michael Fassbender, or youare Michael Fassbender," I said entirely too loudly before I downed the rest of my cosmo.

He looked at me slightly surprised, and then gave me that cheeky smile of his.

"One of those things is true and the other might be. I am Michael Fassbender, and you may have had too much to drink!" He said full on laughing now. I had no choice but to laugh at the audacity and truth in his statement, and the balls on this guy for just blurting that out. "And you are?"

"Oh, Xan, Xan Jamison-Steele," I replied as I took his outstretched hand, which instead of shaking mine, he brought it up to his mouth and kissed it. I melted a little in spite of myself.

"Xan? That's a unique name, I like it. Is it a nickname, or short for anything?"

"It's short for Alexandria, my father thought it was too formal a name so he called me Xan and it stuck. I love it actually."

"So do I," he said with that devastating smile. "Jamison-Steele...hmm, married? But I don't see a ring?"

I realized that he hadn't let go of my hand, and was caressing my ring finger between his sizeable thumb and forefinger, while sipping a drink out of his unoccupied hand.

"Yeah, well I hope that the woman that my husband of too-many-years-to-mention has been sleeping with didn't see a ring either," I heard him choke on his drink as I took a sip of mine. I'd switched to straight Goose on the rocks.

When I set the glass down, I looked into his crystal, aqua-blue eyes and saw something behind the obvious pity that was in the forefront. I looked away because I was a little afraid of its intensity, and the fact that he's fucking sexy as hell.

"Your husband's a fool. Is that why those girls whisked you away?"

"My soon-to-be-ex-husband is indeed a fool, and I guess after our girls' getaway; I'll have to figure out how to be single as an adult, but that has nothing to do with why we're here. I'm celebrating a milestone birthday."

"Which one, 30?"

I gave him a wide smile before I winked at him, and with all of the sauciness that I could muster, I replied.

"Wow! Dead sexy, sweet, and a flatterer? Darling, you're a bit too good to be true," I said as I laughed before I noticed that his facial expression went from flattered to confused in a matter of seconds.

"Umm, thank you for the dead sexy bit but I wasn't trying to flatter you; you don't look a day over 30. Although on second thought, I guess you'dhave to be older if you've been with your husband as long as you have so you're..."

"C'mon...you got it," I said with a smile while encouraging him on and moving my hand in a circle.

I saw the realization hit him when he furrowed his brow and looked at me intently, paying close attention to the skin on my face, neck, and cleavage.

"You're not 40...you can't be..."

"Why Michael? Is that a deal breaker?" I asked him in a husky tone that sounded a bit foreign to me.

"Deal Breaker? Well that depends," he countered with a raised eyebrow, a smile and, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "What's your stance on having a drink with a younger man?" He offered his glass up in the way of a toast as he finished his question.

I smiled back as I lightly clinked my glass against his own, before downing the rest of my drink. When I went to lift my hand to signal for the bartender; he gently grabbed it to get my attention.

"Instead of getting another drink, why don't you and those incredibly long and gorgeous legs come and dance with me?"

I quickly realized that I really didn't have any choice in the matter because even though he'd presented it as a request, the fact that he'd already stood and had started to swivel my stool toward him and made to help me stand; it was a command, and I wasgoing to dance with him. Between you and me, I wouldn't have even tried to turn him down, and I liked, no...loved the fact that he'd taken charge.

*****

We'd been dancing for about 20 minutes to all kinds of dance music, and Michael and I had alternated from dancing face to face; to him dancing behind me. I felt like I was on fire, and at some point during our dancing, he'd taken off his tie and undone the top two buttons of his dress shirt. I'd seen my girls off and on a few times, but Salma's reaction was my favorite.

There was no way I could've heard her, but in between dancing with her handsome partner she looked at me and threw up her hands and mouthed, "Seriously?! Michael Fucking Fassbender?!" I just smiled with my mouth wide open, scrunched my nose, and nodded my head, and I saw her laugh and throw me the thumbs up in response.

My reflexes were still a bit sluggish because of the mass quantity of alcohol I'd consumed in such a small amount of time, because I still had that crazy wide-mouthed smile on my face when I looked back into his eyes, and he gave me his widest grin in return and turned to see who I'd been looking at just a moment before. He didn't spot her immediately, so he looked back at me and I put my arm around him to turn him to the side and I pointed out, then waved at Salma. After putting her on the spot, she timidly smiled and waved back, and Michael smiled and waved to her.

"Friend of yours?" He leaned over and whispered into my ear.

"My best, she's the only one that knows," I answered.

"Shewas the only one that knows. I feel honored to be the other," he said as the music changed and he wrapped his right arm around my waist and pulled me close.

As he pulled me closer, he pressed his cheek against the left side of my face and I wrapped my right hand around his left. It felt so right being in his arms; feeling his slightly coarse, and yet still soft scruffy stubble against my face, but there was something very wrong about what was happening.

What would I do without your smart mouth?

Drawing me in and you kicking me out,

You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down...

That's what was wrong, this damn song. John Legend and his damn wordsmithery, and John Steele; the man that I'd danced with at my cousin's wedding less than three months earlier, who had told me that this song was "our" new song. The man that I was crazy in love with, and that I thought was out of his mind in love with me.

Now here I am dancing with extremely sexy, Michael Fucking Fassbender, and I am getting ready to lose my shit because no one can write a love song like John Legend. A song that made me smile a week ago has just ripped my heart out, and I hate you so much right now John Legend, because Ireally needed this!!

I didn't realize that I'd stopped moving until Michael took a step back to check and see if I was alright.

"Xan? Everything oka..." his question died on his lips when he saw my face.

I can only imagine what I looked like; eyes darting around, wondering what the right course of action was for this moment, wanting to stay wrapped up in his arms and to forget my circumstance. The other, practical part of me that knows that my heart is basically on the floor in pieces between us, knows that I can't stay here - I have to get out of here now.

********-*-*********

Michael knew that something had gone very wrong when he looked into her eyes. Those dark chocolate orbs that were so bright and full of humor and vibrance only moments before, were now full of unshed tears and she looked like a caged animal yearning for the chance to break free. His mind started to go into overdrive, trying to figure out what happened all while thinking of a way to calm her down.

He wasn't ready to let her go.

"Xan..."

"I'm sor...sorry Michael, I have to go" she blurted out as he placed his hands on her shoulders. She touched his right hand with her left, and placed her right on his chest as tears started to fall down her cheeks. She gave him one last look that seemed to implore him to try and understand, then she almost ran off before he had a chance to get his bearings. After only a few milliseconds; he took a few steps after her, but she'd already disappeared behind a group of people and it would be nearly impossible for him to catch her. Then he heard it:

...Even when you're crying you're beautiful too

The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood

You're my downfall, you're my muse, my worst distraction, my rhythm and blues...

He was at a loss as to what to do. Going after her wasn't an option, should he go after her? They didn't even know each other after all, but that didn't stop the feeling in his chest that compelled him to do something about what he'd just witnessed. If he never saw her again, he didn't want the last memory of her incredibly beautiful face to be one of such pain and uncertainty.

As he stood in the middle of the dance floor running his hand through his hair, he spotted his unlikely source of help and quickly made his way over. It took some effort, but he regained his composure when he tapped the young man on the shoulder.

"Mind if I cut in?"

******-*-*-******

I stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom staring at my mascara-stained face, and cursed Steele for the umpteenth time in the last three days. Why would he do this to me, to us, to our family? Did he honestly think that we could come back from this? I couldn't. I can't, and I won't.

"Fucking 'All of Me' ruins a perfectly good time, and I guess Steele will find out what he'll do without my smart mouth now," I sound like a madwoman to my own ears as I put some regular hotel soap on a washcloth. This crap is coming off of my face, and this crying shit is stopping like yesterday!

After getting all of my makeup off, I rinsed my face with cold water and gently dabbed it dry. I'd got to 40 with minimal signs of aging so I'd better continue to be kind to my skin. That corny ass thought made me smile to myself in the mirror, and I felt as though I looked even younger than I did even a few minutes ago, maybe Michael was right. It's amazing what that cold water rinse will do for your skin ladies!

I thought back to the look in Michael's eyes as I'd left him on the dance floor. He didn't seem like this wildly famous actor that has women falling at his feet, and I'm sure that he does. He also didn't seem like he was trying to use that fame to weasel his way into my pants, he just seemed to be having a good time by making sure I was having a good time, and I hated that it had to come to such an abrupt end.

"Oh well," I said on a sigh as I dropped the towel on the counter and started to walk back into the suite from the bathroom. Just as I was getting ready to kick off these shoes before getting out of this dress; I heard my phone's text notification go off from the coffee table, and as I was getting ready to go check it out, there was a knock at the door. It could only be one person coming to check up on me, so I called out when there was another knock; more insistent than the first.

"Okay Salma geez! I'm fine and I'm coming gimme a damn min..."

I think my heart and my lungs might've just stopped working.

"Hi," he said simply, with an uncertain look on his face.

"Hi," I replied simply, as if Michael Fucking Fassbender wasn't on the other side of the door to my hotel suite...looking hotter than I remembered.

There were a few moments of me standing there with a "deer in headlights" look before he saved us from more moments of the same by breaking the silence.

"Mind if I come inside?"

"Hmmn? Oh...OH! Yes, please - sorry, that was incredibly rude," I laughed nervously and stepped aside to allow him entry into what would serve as my personal space for the next week.

"I'm sorry if this seems a bit...much," he gestured between us, "me being here, but with the state that you were in when you left, I just couldn't let that stand."

I was touched, and I smiled a little at his confession.

"So you found Salma then?"

"I did, and she took some convincing before she gave me your room number. She also threatened me with...let's just say that I believed her, but I didn't come here to take advantage of you."

I broke out into a full-on grin when I noticed him shiver as he mentioned Salma threatening him, because I could only imagine what my crazy girl had said she'd do to him.

"Why did you come, Michael?" I didn't ask accusingly, I sincerely wanted to know what would possess someone like him to come after someone like me.

He reached down and grabbed my hand before explaining himself.

"Honestly, when I saw you at the bar, dismissing blokes left and right; I wondered how you'd react to me. I thought you were extremely attractive and I figured I'd invite you to mine for the night but..."

My eyes widened, and my mouth fell open at his admission.

"Ah ah ahh...BUT!" he said holding up a finger, indicating that I should let him finish. "After talking to you for more than just a minute, I knew that type of behavior was far beneath you and I just wanted to spend some time with you and to quite possibly cheer you up after hearing your story. And we were having such a good time until that song started to play, and it made you think of him didn't it?"

I nodded my head in the affirmative. "But that still doesn't explain why you went through so much trouble to find me?"

"Yeah, well..." he smiled that gigantic smile, and reached his hand around to the nape of his neck. He looked adorably nervous. "We danced to all sorts of fast songs, but I felt cheated when we finally got a slow song, where I could hold you close and just sway to the music, and fucking John Legend fucks it up for the both of us!"

I couldn't help myself, I busted out laughing at his admission and I honestly didn't care if it was the truth or not. If this gorgeous man went through all of this trouble to track me down to dance with me, then dance we shall.