Mid-Life Crisis

G'day all,

Thanks to favored and my Hawaiian friend John for their help editing. I always love to read your thoughts so please leave a comment after whether you like it or not.

Cheers

CharlieB4

*

Most people get warnings but some don't. They are walking along and bang! They drop dead. I should have seen it coming. It's funny how you kid yourself. The waist measurement of your pants keeps going up. It must be the different sizing of Chinese manufacturers. The back ache? Got to be those two years you spent as a labourer on a construction site. Nothing to do with the twenty extra kilos you carry around your middle everyday.

A close friend woke up one morning with a sore shoulder. Twenty four hours later he was in intensive care at hospital after having two stents put into his coronary arteries. But he was four years older than me and he smoked at lot. Poor bastard should have given up years ago. Then one day it was my turn.

I was lucky, it wasn't my heart or a stroke. Really my lightening bolt was relatively minor. I was climbing off the forklift at work, pivoting on one leg and my heel caught a pallet. My leg stopped turning but my body kept going. I felt my knee give and started to fall. Grabbing at the boxes on top of the pallet I tried to remain upright but only succeeded in pulling one off and it fell too. Unfortunately, it fell on me, on my now injured knee to be precise.

I'd heard a noise before the pain hit, which the specialist told me was my anterior cruciate ligament snapping. Then the impact of the vegetable box on the side of my now unstable knee tore the medial collateral ligament and the medial meniscus. Rugby knee, the terrible triad, blown knee, were the common terms for it. Surgery to repair the ligament then twelve weeks immobilized in a brace followed by extensive physiotherapy was the cure.

Workers compensation insurance covered all the bills and my boss was great, organising for me to start light duties in the office as soon as I could move around. It was my family doctor who put the frighteners on me. I was in to see him for a general physical before I got the all clear to resume normal work. After doing all the usual stuff and handing me a pathology referral for some blood work he sat down in his chair, took off his glasses and looked at me.

"You know why this happened don't you?" He asked.

"Yeah, I was rushing, I've got to realize I'm not twenty one anymore." I replied with a chuckle.

"Hmmm," he lifted his hand and rubbed his chin then sat forward and picked up his glasses again. "Jim, you may not be twenty one but you're not old. You're barely middle aged!"

Dr. Trent could be abrupt, I knew that. He wasn't renown for his bedside manner but that's why I liked him, he called a spade a fucking shovel. I was caught off guard and my surprise at being on the receiving end must have shown on my face.

"I'm sorry Jim," the doctor continued, "but it's all here in black and white." He turned the form he had been filling out around so it was facing me and put his glasses back on. "Look, height 176cm, weight 101kgs, circumference of your mid-section 108cm. This blood pressure reading, it's borderline high, my guess is your cholesterol is up there too. You're only thirty nine but I've got healthier fifty year olds in this practice."

"Well...well I've been not able to do much on account of my knee." I spluttered looking for excuses.

"I'm saying this stuff for a reason Jim, I don't want you to get upset. You're on the fast track to diabetes, heart disease, stroke, cancer..., but we can turn it around. I'm here to help and now is the time to start."

"Okay, so I'll go on a diet!" I replied haughtily.

"That's what I was going to suggest, but let me help. I've got a dietitian attached to the practice. I'll get her to talk to you outside before her next appointment. She will give you a food diary to fill out for the next week. You bring it back then we will get you and your wife to come in for a chat about where we go from there the next chance we get."

I got the food diary and filled it out the following week. Diana, my wife, dismissed it as the doctor overreacting.

"You're just cuddly, that's all. We've let things slip a bit but we'll be good from now on."

I agreed with her but when we sat down to look through the food diary the night before I took it back I could see Dr. Trent had a point. I couldn't believe how much I'd ploughed through in seven days and I hadn't included some of the little snacks along the way. Adding on a couple of beers on week nights and even more in weekends, it was easy to see my problem. Diana closed it up and put it face down on the kitchen table.

"You know we could both probably be a bit fitter." Diana said.

Shit, the warning light went off in my head. What do I say? If I agree am I calling her fat? I took the safe option.

"Huh?" A non committal grunt. Meaning either maybe or I didn't hear you.

"I just think that we should do this together. After all I do most of the cooking so it makes sense."

"Yeah, I suppose. The doc wanted to see us both anyway." I replied relieved Diana's initial thought hadn't been an elaborate test of my love.

We had been married for sixteen years and had two children. A boy, Stuart aged fifteen and a daughter, Emily, who was almost fourteen. We were anonymous really, neither of us had excelled at anything, average students who got average jobs in an average town. We worked our hours, did our best by our children. Volunteered at church and school activities but always behind the scenes, we were happy to remain in the shadows.

I'd been a nerd at school, well not completely. I wasn't smart enough to be included with them. Diana hadn't been in the cool girls group at school but she had floated just below it. In many ways I had been batting in a higher grade when I started taking her out but it was two years after we'd left school. The spots in my face had faded and two years of hard work as a builders labourer had added some muscle to my lanky frame.

Diana wasn't a plain Jane, nor a goddess. She was just Diana, a bubbly dark haired girl with a toothy smile. Like me, the on set of middle age had seen a thickening of her frame but I was still very much in love with her. It wasn't the fawning, unable to be apart love but rather it's mature cousin. We leant on each other, relied on each other, comforted each other. Once a month we went out for a nice meal just the two of us. It was a ritual, talk of children, family and work was off limits. We kept it about us, our hopes, fears and dreams.

Sex was still a big part of our relationship. With teenage children in the house it had to be discreet but we managed. It would be hard to put a weekly figure on it because by nature it was haphazard. There might be a purple patch when by happenstance four nights in a row we went at it. While other times work or family pressures meant we went for two weeks without managing to squeeze it in at all.

We lived a simple life with simple dreams. Our aim was to raise our children and give them the chance to do better than we did. Then work for ourselves, save a little so later on we can retire and spoil the grandchildren.

In the doctors office we waited nervously for our turn. As always he was running late with his appointments so I thumbed through an old fishing magazine while Diana played with her phone. The dietitian called us into her office first and we followed slowly dreading the report. She was good about it, not judgmental, but the plain fact was we were eating too much and of the wrong sorts of foods. She gave us some daily meal plans as well as tips on reading labels while shopping. She also stressed the importance of real food, fresh food, not processed stuff and limiting our portion size. Lastly she gave both of us another food diary to keep track of what we were eating.

Next we went into the doctor's room. He had the results of my blood tests that had come back okay. He gave Diana the same talk he gave me about carrying too much weight and the risks that came with it. Than he asked how we had gotten on with the dietitian.

"She was good but...we have both been on diets before, some have worked and some haven't but eventually we fall back into old habits. Isn't there a pill we can take or something?" I asked hoping for a quick fix.

"Sorry Jim, I wish there were. More to the point I wish I could invent one because I would become a very rich man. There are various forms of stomach surgery but I wouldn't recommend them in your case because frankly your problem isn't bad enough."

"It's just hard to break old habits," Diana added. "Creamy pasta sauces, sweet biscuits, chocolate..." The last word hung in the air and we looked at each other with sad faces.

"I know, but the easy choices could lead to an early grave!" The doctor scolded us.

With an air of resignation Diana and I rose from our chairs in preparation to leave.

"There might be something else you can try," Dr. Trent added. We stopped and waited. " I only read about it on a medical journal the other day. A researcher has tried a new diet where you don't have to change what you eat. Instead you just cut back on the hours that you are able to eat. You fast from 8pm to 12 midday."

"So no breakfast?" I clarified.

"Or other snacks after eight at night and before lunch."

"Isn't that against everything that has come before? I thought breakfast was the most important meal of the day?" Diana asked incredulous.

"According to this study it didn't have any negative effects. It just comes down to your fuel load. You're skipping breakfast, morning tea and then any treats after dinner including alcohol. So your calorie intake is cut by about one third depending on your diet. A positive side effect of the sixteen hour fast is that over time your stomach shrinks so you can't eat as much when you do." Dr. Trent clicked on the laptop on his desk. "I'll send you a link to the study. It details the parameters of the diet. If you decide to try this one instead of the other then come and see me every two weeks for a start so I can monitor how it's affecting you."

At home we looked it up and decided to go with the doctors suggestion. Skipping breakfast wasn't a big problem, skipping the biscuits and sweet treats at morning tea was a different matter. Avoidance was the key for both of us. Keeping busy in the morning and trying to forget about the hunger pangs. The evenings and weekends were another issue, no more beer and nuts watching sport after eight. We both had a sweet tooth for chocolate at night and Sunday mornings without bacon and eggs with all the trimmings for brunch was hell.

Our solution to these problems was bed, and that had another interesting side effect, our sex life went ballistic. We went to bed earlier and stayed in longer in the morning. No point being in the kitchen for any longer than necessary when we couldn't eat. Books became a method of escape as well. Even though it's a solitary thing to do, we found it was bringing us closer as we read each other's books and discussed issues raised in them.

My books were sometimes a little racier than Diana's. Early on she would close them and berate me for their content branding them pornography. Sexuality was something Diana liked to keep under wraps. However she generally finished them and it led to more general discussions about sex. Neither of us were experienced with sex before we had stated going out. I hadn't admitted it but I had lost my virginity with Diana. I hadn't inquired about Diana's previous experience, I knew some others had taken her out but that was all. To me, our early sexual efforts had been naive and innocent fumbling on both our parts so I concluded Diana wasn't any more enlightened than I was.

Sex for us, while satisfying, was very straight laced. Generally missionary, with a little spooning and cowgirl mixed in. Once in a blue moon, maybe every second blue moon I might get her on all fours. Oral sex was another occasional side dish, I liked going down on her however when Diana put on some weight she became sensitive about me touching and kissing her stomach on the way down. If I went for the extended foreplay with a full body massage she generally relented but never let me finish her off completely with my mouth.

As far as me getting any oral action, if doggy was once in a blue moon then blow jobs were once in a transit of Venus. It didn't worry me that much because she wasn't very good at it. Her teeth scraped the underside of my cock so it wasn't a very satisfying experience. It was such a big thing for her to put her mouth near my dick I didn't have the heart to tell her she was doing it wrong. I was satisfied enough without it.

Now we were discussing our books and the previously taboo subject of sex started coming up more often. Initially it was a hushed whisper in the dark.

"Jim? Do girls really do that?"

"What?" Was generally my tired reply.

"You know, in that book."

It could be anything, masturbation, shaving, sex toys, sixty nine, cum swallowing, anal, multiple partners etc. I would explain about it, weird really because I was just as inexperienced but I called upon my pre-marriage obsession with pornography to answer most of her questions. Her reactions were mostly the same.

"That's disgusting!"

Sometime later, maybe a week maybe a month, it would be bought up again. After sifting through my initial explanation Diana would have supplemental questions. The usual, how? When? Where? Why? I would answer as best as I could but sometimes have to resort to I don't know.

Of course there was always one final follow up.

"Do you want us to do that?"

My stock answer was always, "no baby, I'm happy how everything is now."

That usually got me a kiss and sometimes more. For the most part it was a true statement, sure I sometimes fantasized about slipping my dick in her arse or cumming on her tits or face. However making fantasy a reality was a risk I wasn't willing to take. I didn't want to take a chance by pushing Diana into something she, and maybe I, wasn't ready for.

Twelve months later I was sixteen kilograms lighter. My stomach circumference was down to 97 centimetres and my blood pressure was back in the normal range. Diana had beaten me in the weight loss by one kilogram, losing seventeen and she'd been lighter to start with. Her workplace had a gym next door and she'd buddied up with a colleague to do exercise classes three afternoons a week.

Her transformation had been extraordinary. Diana was five kilograms lighter than she'd been on our wedding day. Cindy, her exercise buddy, and Diana had spent a weekend going through her wardrobe throwing out clothes that now hung on her frame like potato sacks. She was so excited and energetic. Something she transferred to the bedroom regularly.

The doctor was very pleased but cautioned us to not fall back into old habits. There was no chance of that happening. Diana was almost like a religious zealot with the dieting and exercise. She was determined not to go backwards and she kept a picture of herself when she'd started the diet taped to the mirror on our wardrobe to remind herself.

I came home early from work the next week to find Diana in the bedroom trying on some new clothes. She was wearing skimpy bikini briefs and no bra as she shed one article and put on another. I was surprised because up until then she'd only worn baggy "granny" underwear. I also had a hard on a cat couldn't scratch so after we'd ensured it was satisfied I asked about the change.

"I've only ever dreamed about wearing things like that. Before there would have been too much of me hanging over and out of them to make them attractive." Diana said starring at the ceiling.

"You would have been attractive to me." I countered.

"You're a bad liar but thanks." We both contemplated the ceiling for a moment before Diana continued. "It's your birthday Saturday. What do you want to do?"

"More of this," I replied rolling towards her and making a grab at her breasts.

"Unhand me you brute!" She ordered and then laughed. "Now seriously, I want to make this birthday special. You've been such a rock for me in the last twelve months. I wouldn't be wearing skimpy undies if it wasn't for you."

"Let's just go out to dinner and then come home."

"Why don't we stay at nice hotel for the night?"

"Why waste the money? We've got a perfectly good bed here. Anyway, what would we do with the kids?"

"They're teenagers Jim, they are past us having to worry about babysitters. I'll organize everything you just make sure your boss doesn't schedule you for overtime for Saturday."

"Alright," I agreed.

Her breasts were tantalizingly close and I wasn't really concentrating on the conversation. I shifted closer to her and tried to pull her against me but she twisted away.

"I think you've had enough for now. In fact I think you can wait till Saturday now. Just to make sure you're up for a long night."

I thought she was joking. By Saturday I was hornier than a four-balled tomcat. It wasn't helped by the teasing Diana subjected me to. She'd come home very excited on Friday telling me she had something very special planned for Saturday night and I was going to love it. As I explained earlier Diana had been very naive about sex so I was intrigued.

I got ready early for our dinner hoping to get more time in our room before dinner and maybe relieving some of my pent up frustrations. Diana took an age to get dressed almost making me angry until I saw her. Wow, it was like I was married to a completely different woman. She wore a simple black dress but it was way shorter than anything she would have worn before. The neckline plunged between her breasts so she wasn't wearing a bra. I expressed my surprise and enthusiasm for her attire by pulling her close and running my hands up and down her sides while nuzzling her neck.

"No bra?" I whispered.

"Not a normal one. I've got two stick on cups keeping the girls in check." Diana replied turning her head to give me full access to her neck.

I held her tighter and pushed my erect cock against her.

"Easy boy," she pushed me gently away. "There will be plenty of time for that later."

At the restaurant the meal was delicious but my mind was firmly set on dessert. Diana took her time, savoring every bite while she giggled at my frustration. Eventually the meal was finished and paid for and we were in a cab on the way to our hotel. I was all over my wife. If the ride had been longer I may well have banged her on the back seat.

Up in the room Diana scurried into the bathroom while I tore my clothes off before jumping on the bed. She came out naked except for a skimpy pair of frilly panties. Instead of getting on the bed she went to her overnight bag. Diana searched around inside for a moment before finding what she wanted. When she turned around I could see she was holding four straps. At either end of the straps were Velcro cuffs.

"What are you up to?" I enquired.

"It's all part of my special surprise." Diana said as she attached on cuff to my ankle.

She moved around the bed securing my wrists and ankles to the four corners. Briefly she returned to the bag coming back with a blindfold.

"I don't think that will be necessary."

"I make the rules tonight darling," Diana said firmly as she pulled the blindfold over my head and covered my eyes.

It was eerie. I was deprived of movement and vision. I listened intently as Diana continued moving around until the music started. It wasn't loud but it made it impossible to discern what was going on around me.

The bed shifted as Diana got on beside me. Cold liquid drizzled on my left leg then warm hands began rubbing it in. They started at my ankle and moved up but stopped just short of my straining erection. The bed moved slightly again as she got off and went to the other side where she repeated the process on my other leg. Briefly, her fingers flirted with my balls keeping me fully aroused.