Mine...Yours Pt. 06

Author's Note: I especially want to thank End of Story, he is overworked and underpaid to do the job for me he does. Especially since I don't pay him anything. Any spelling mistakes are mine, and if those mistakes are found in dialogue...I probably did it on purpose. So there! Please, read, and enjoy. Please leave comments as well. I have grown to love reading them! I do ask that you do not include "spoilers" in the comments. Let new readers enjoy the surprises.

Chapter 18: Dreaming

I knew it was a dream...I knew it beyond the shadow of a doubt. How did I know? Simple, I was in a jail cell. I knew that I would die before I was ever put in a jail cell ever again. Therefore, I knew this had to be a dream. To be at the tender mercies of those who hate you, to eat, sleep and wash only by the tolerance of enemies? Never going back to that again. As someone labeled a sex offender, being in jail is a constant battle of both the body and mind. You are alone, with every hand raised against you. Either people are indifferent since they are just doing their own time, or they try to find ways to fuck with you. I mean that both literally and figuratively. As an SO you can fully expect that when other inmates finish using the mop bucket, to get the dirty water tossed under your door to flood your cell. I'm pretty sure at least one of them took a piss in it before they did it.

As an SO, if you are ever put in jail, I highly recommend you get the vegan meal. Plead that it is against your religion, or whatever to get it. It is made separately from the others since no animals can be harmed in the making of it, at least that is how I understand it. Most of the inmates know which meals are going to sex offenders and will either spit, shit or piss in your food. The vegan ones have a better chance of being left alone. As a fresh-faced kid going in, I was scared. Never been to jail before, still confused as hell as to why I was there. Last I heard, my girlfriend/fiancé was accusing me of rape. I found that out when I was being processed and still in handcuffs so, not much I could do. Oh sure...much later I was accused of a lesser charge. But for the time being...I was a rapist.

While my mind was reeling like a hyperactive hamster from these accusations I was thrust into a whole different world. One of pain as I was strip-searched having to bend over and cough with a cold finger shoved up my asshole. One of pressure, as I was held against a wall by a Nazi jail crew and given a hard welcome. I was told to be good or I would be given another, "self-inflicted-injury." Found out that SO's commonly "injure themselves", so it was their obligation to be watching me.

As I said, I would never go back to jail alive. That's how I knew this was a dream.

I glanced around my cell, concrete slab with a thin mattress with even thinner pillow covered in cracked and worn vinyl-like material. Two thread bare sheets and one nasty green blanket, was probably donated from a third hand store. Based on the scratchiness of the wool and the amount of holes in it I'd say the blanket was a reject from the ones sent to soldiers in World War One. I did a quick check to make sure all the items in my room were off the floor, another check to make sure I had a roll of toilet paper that wasn't wet or crinkled. If it was nasty like, it meant that someone wetted it down before it came to me so that it would be useless. Or maybe they pissed on it. A lot of the "jokes" inmates play on SO's seem to involve urine for some reason.

Once I saw my floor was clear I stood up from where I had been sleeping a moment ago and did the old trick that many inmates who suffered from claustrophobia do. I stretched out my arms to touch the walls and carefully moved to the center of the room so I couldn't feel them. Then closed my eyes and allowed my thoughts to take me away. The dim lights that are always on making it impossible to sleep without a head box faded to the background. The noises of the other inmates slowly drained from my ears and thoughts. The claustrophobia welling in my chest began to release its hold. Soon I would be out in the sun, walking barefoot in my family's field talking with my dad. Or maybe I would remember washing dishes with my mom as a boy. I would soon force my mind into a meditative peace and comfort that I could and would maintain for hours at a time.

I heard the chunk of the door to my cell disengage a second before cold dirty water flooded under the door!

I snarled as the cold hit my feet and sure enough, I caught sight of a man in uniform pass his badge to a partner before he charged in right at me! My bare foot slammed into the middle of his chest and sent him staggering back to his buddies behind him.

I remembered this. Day three, after being processed in general population I had then been moved to a more secure pod in jail. This is the welcoming committee. I knew the dream would end the same way, even though my mind was sharper now, and I was willing to fight, unlike the first time. The guard was moved to the side and two more came in. I ducked the first swing and got tackled by the second guard. I dug my first two fingers in his eyes, after hooking the fingertips I pulled hard! His scream was in that high-pitched range that men try to avoid since it shows no self-restraint at all. The other tried to kick me while I was down, so stupid. I could see the kick coming and moved my head and shoulders so it just missed, then grabbed the kicking leg as it came back. A quick roll and I should have been able to drop him to the ground while his friend tried to see again.

No luck.

Small cell remember? He caught his balance on the wall, and kicked me in the face with his other boot. It stunned me for long enough for all three to grab my dazed body and haul me to my feet. That's when the fourth man came in. I don't remember his name, or his face...I will never forget the sound of his voice. He sounded so happy to me, as he vented his anger on my chest, ribs, hips, even bending me over to start beating my ass with that damn asp of his. An asp is a collapsible baton if you want to know. Applicable name too. He beat me over and over until I stopped resisting, then he beat me more to see if I had any fight left.

I know that at some point now I am supposed to wake up, usually that's what happens. I wake up in twisted soaked sheets, my body shaking and taking deep sobbing breaths. Then I go take either a cool shower, or just soak my head. Then I stretch for a while and try to get some sleep.

Usually. Not this time.

I kept getting battered, and they weren't stopping. Finally they dropped me on the ground and start stomping on me! This isn't right, guards can't leave much of a mark or it doesn't look like a self-inflicted injury? What's going on...? Oh God! They're going to kill me! They are going to beat me to death! I'm going to die! I'm going to die in this shitty smelling cell soaked in urine laced mop water; to two mouth breathing inbred guards who probably fuck their grandmothers since they can't find any pussy of their own?

"NO!" I didn't say it. Someone else did.

I caught the next stomping foot and pulled hard. The pain of getting my other hand stomped on since it wasn't protected in my fetal position? I ignored it. That pain is the cost of doing business when your life is on the line. You tend to forget about that kind of thing when you want to survive. The guard fell on his back, and I hit him as hard as I could with a knife hand in the center of his throat. I heard a popping sound and he began to gag and twitch on the floor!

"YES!" Said a soft voice in my ear.

The two other guards, still standing, stared at their buddy on the ground in shock. It was only for half of a moment, but it was enough time for me to strike hard and fast after getting quickly to my feet. I struck with my fingertips, palm up, and right after contact with the throat I would curve my fingers a little as if beckoning someone. They both collapsed, one gagging, one choking with a rattle to his breathing. That unknown face of the fourth guard, the last one standing, suddenly became clear to me. He smiled, and his face looked full of pride. Then bandages of what appeared to be white linen wrapped around his entire frame, even down to his hands! Just before the lower half of his face was covered I heard him speak.

"You are PATHETIC!"

Then my Door slammed shut just inches in front of my face. The wheel spun pushing the security bolts in their slots. The chain, perfect and unbroken appeared in the wheel housing. Everything was firm and tight. I was still breathing hard, and took several steps back from the Door. While walking away, I saw...words? No...pictures? I guess symbols would be the best way to describe them, etched in the floor of my mind. They were large, at least two paces across, maybe half a pace high. I couldn't make heads or tails of them. Looked almost cuneiform. Or Runic...like what the old people used way back in the day. Just a whole bunch of cut lines in the cement. Decided to open up my Sight and take a look.

It was absolutely beautiful! Just three words, written as if guiding me back towards my Door. You can tell a lot about a person by how they write. I figured it was bullshit too, like reading a horoscope or something in that vein. My hand writing looks like a chicken with a limp stepped in a puddle of ink and cleaned its feet off with some paper. Then I had a professional look at my handwriting to do an analysis. Scarily accurate, back to what I was seeing though. Laid out like one of those Japanese Haiku poem thingies, I followed the words and remembered them. They were what Mother had spoken to me, which seemed to resonate in my chest.

First word, "Become."

I stepped over it, almost felt sacrilegious to step on it. I thought maybe I'd feel something cool walking over it, like I would have gained something by crossing a beautifully presented word that was carved in the bedrock of my mind's eye. I felt disappointed, I didn't feel any different; truthfully I was relieved. I've had enough with mucking about in my head for a while.

Came to the second word, "Learn." Same thing stepped over it and felt zilch, zero, nada!

Third, "Grow."

Just the same thing, rinse and repeat. I felt like I was missing something, probably wasn't. Just my head playing tricks on me again. Funny that I would think of my head playing tricks on me...when I am currently inside of it!

I was right back at my Door. I remembered my other aspects telling me that someone was still inside. I remembered their grubby faces, like they had been covered in soot or something. I also remembered the blue glow that was shining in there. Suddenly my slow turtle brain made the connection. That power that I seem to have, it covered my hand in that blue light when I picked up Gwen's cards! It was the same color as the light behind the door! I began to reach for the chain on the Door. Whatever questions I about my supposed power lay behind it. Suddenly bandages shot out between the seams and cracks of the barrier and wrapped around me, holding me tight.

"I am so DISAPPOINTED in you!" a voice crumbled. Yep, crumbled. Best way I know how to describe it. It sounded like a dry loaf of bread being crumbled into bird food. There was only one slot in the door, where before there had been two. It opened and I could see pale yellow eyes peering out at me.

In my current state, of immobility, I did the only thing I could think of.

"Good morning!" I said cheerily. The eyes narrowed.

"Fuck you and your morning!" It spat at me. I could see the pinprick pupils widen, and then narrow as it focused on me more intently.

I did a mental shrug and then said, "I guess you are not exactly the personable side of my personality?"

It chuckled, though I heard no trace of humor in its voice.

"Good, you show humor even when you are vulnerable. You still have some spirit in you after all. I was beginning to worry!" It said.

Slowly the bandages let me go, and I walked closer to the slot.

"So who are you?" I asked. The eyes widened and I could see that they were all shot through with red, like the damaged eye in those Visine eye drops commercials. It turned its head so it could look at me sidelong through the opening. I could see the long strips of bandages wound all the way around its entire head, covering the ears and everything. Only leaving the mouth and eyes open to my view.

"You don't remember me?" it asked quietly. It shook its head and muttered so softly I could barely hear it. "Pitiful, and sad. Locked away for so long you don't even recognize me, or remember my name. Such a waste, for no one knows me better than you." The longing in its voice pulled at me, it seemed to sense this and bared flat teeth at me in a terrible parody of a grin.

"So, you want me out now?" Now it seemed amused.

"Don't know, I don't know what you are."

"Whose fault is that?"

"Mine obviously, or ours...depending on your view I guess." I said while glancing away. Looking back its eyes were right back at the hole staring directly at me.

"I was hurt and you did not help me. I was wounded and you locked me away. I was hungry and thirsty and you fed me nothing but pain. I tried to talk to you, to let you know how I was doing, but each time you thought of me you just pushed me away and pressed me in here harder! Now, you tell me! Who the FUCK am I?" It screamed. I had started stepping back from the slot and nearly fell over at the force of its voice. The blue light seeped out of the gaps, and the bandages flowed with it. I firmed up my own emotions and walked back to face it again.

"I don't know. I'm sorry, but I really don't." I said simply. It snorted, sounding like silk tearing.

"Then I have nothing more to say to you." It turned and began to move towards the blue light and I called out. "Hey! I need to know something..."

It kept walking but that voice called out to me. "Even if I explained anything to you...you wouldn't understand it because you still don't even know what you need to ask." Then it stopped, and seemed to consider. I blinked my eyelids for only a moment and when they opened it was back just inches from me. I wanted to step back again, but didn't. I did almost, kinda sorta, pee my pants though!

It grinned. "You stood your ground. Good."

"I tell you this only so that you can survive. For if you die, I am lost." It appeared to ponder for moment, picking its words carefully.

"All hands are against you. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and you are alone. What do you do?" it said finally. Not what I was expecting, I was hoping for words of wisdom or at least something informational. This had been a question I had thought on many a time, the answer was automatic and easy.

"Simple, you always have a place to run or hide. In a fight you are always on the move, so your options are always changing."

"WRONG!"

Its voice thundered with the will of a god and the wrappings tied me up again, but now they were beginning to slowly squeeze the air out of me!

"Foolish! Weak! Wretched!" It growled out. The Door was shaking and a tone was sounding somewhere. I could hear voices as well as feel the caress of blue light over my body.

"When you have nowhere to run, and no place to hide and every hand is against you, you KILL! You go FORWARD! You ATTACK! No retreat! You must break them, bleed them, burn them and blind them! You destroy! No quarter was given you so none shall be given in turn! THAT is why you are WEAK!"

I was trying to breathe. I mean...this is my head...I make the rules, don't I?

"This is why I don't let you have this Power. When you locked me away you locked it up as well! You are not worthy of this birthright. Take your weak gifts and leave this place! I will help you, but only so that I may live. Don't expect more than that!"

I couldn't breathe! My heart was trembling, and the pain was indescribable! I was going to...going...

Just before my eyes closed, I saw the last word that Mother spoke to me emblazoned on the top of the Door. In fiery white letters, plain as day it read,

"Surpass."

Chapter 19: Awakening.

"Gaaah!"

I gasped. Throwing my arms wide and thrashing out of my wound up sheets. I tried to stand only to stumble and land on my back on the floor of my room. I could feel heat coming off of me in waves, and sweat trickling down my face, through my short hair and down my arms. I closed my eyes and then slowly opened them, focusing on the ceiling as I tried to control my breathing. I felt a drop of something thicker than water at the same time as I heard a feminine sniff. I saw a dark shape that looked like a...cocoon? Chrysalis? Something like that. It was hanging right above me. My muddled brain woke up and I saw Lucretia hanging upside down from the center ridge of my ceiling. She was directly above me, wings wrapped tight around her torso and I saw her wipe her nose on her arm. It left a black streak behind. I looked down at the center of my chest and saw a big dollop of black there too. What the...?"

"Lucretia, are you alright?" I asked, my voice coming out almost as a wheeze. I coughed and cleared my throat. She didn't answer right away. "Lucretia...?" Her voice came out small.

"You wouldn't wake up." She sniffed again and swiped her forearm over her face again. "You were talking in your sleep, and then you started..." her voice trailed off. I wanted to press her, but she sounded pretty shaken.

"Did I hit you, while I was asleep?" In the dark of my room I just barely saw her nod. I started to rise, but then fell down again. My legs felt like they were made out of stacked rubber bouncy balls!

"Okay, I'm going to lay here for a bit." I muttered. I looked up at my friend again. "How bad did I hit you?"

"Broke my nose... actually, my nose, chin and cheek. Lost a couple of teeth, should be alright soon."

I scrubbed my hands over my face. I had done that?

"Bad dreams Greg?" she asked. I looked up at her again and saw her licking the black blood off of her arm while she watched me, carefully. I nodded up at her.

"Astar gets them sometimes. Rulli says that's because Astar spends all of her time reading so her head is full of things to give her bad dreams."

I chuckled, "Sounds like something a sister would say." I could see Lucretia grin a little. I raised my arms up.

"Come here, please." I asked.

Gracefully, Lucretia let go of the ceiling with her feet doing a forward tuck and roll. Her wings opened and slowed her fall before she landed on all fours right next to me. She looked a little anxious as she checked my eyes, for what I don't know. She seemed to relax then bent her head to lick the spot of blood off my chest. It tickled, and made me laugh quietly as I folded my arms around her to hold her close.

"I'm sorry I hit you." I murmured into her pointed ear.

"You didn't mean it."

"True. Still I am sorry I hurt you. Even if it was an accident it was my responsibility."

"But you didn't do it on purpose?"

I pulled my head back to look at her, "Guess I am going to have to explain it then. Remember the rat?"

"The kitchen thief?"

"Yes, that one. The sneaky kitchen rat thief!"

"The one who now lives under the shed in the... backyard?" I nodded.

"Now if I was walking around in the backyard doing some work, and Mrs. Rat..."

"She is not married..."

"Excuse me?" I said, jolted from what I was going to say by the interruption.

"Ms. Rat...she is not married. You called your mom Mrs. Brooks because she is married."

"Oh...I see, well...Ms. Rat if she was walking around in the yard, and let's say I sneezed and didn't look where I was going because I was distracted and stepped on her."