Modelling Ch. 05A

The back door was unlocked as promised and I called out when I entered. Sam called back that he'd be right there and asked me to lock the door. I waited for a couple of minutes before he appeared.

Smiling and friendly he walked over, took me by the hand and led me to the front counter. Before he asked I opened my purse and took out the undeveloped roll of film and the envelopes with the prints. Sam spread them out over the counter top, not sorting thru them like before and looked at me.

"Now tell me which ones you are most proud of, which ones you think might make it into a magazine."

I tried to look at them critically, picking up a few that I knew neither he nor James had selected before along with most of those they had. When I was finished Sam looked over the discards and placed a few more aside. Sweeping the rest into a pile he held out his hand and took the ones I was holding to set beside those he had selected.

"Now can you tell me why those ones?"

I did my best. One was special because it was the very first picture anyone had taken of me, the very first time I'd ever dressed like this for anyone but myself. Another because it was the first time anyone had picked the lingerie I was to wear for them. A third because it was the first time I'd been outside dressed in just lingerie'.

He stopped me there.

"OK, I understand why you'd pick those ones but, those are for personal reasons. If you'll look at these four you should notice that they are good quality and capture you at the point where you've relaxed and are comfortable enough to pose that way. Not embarrassed, stilted or ashamed of what you are doing.

These five are even better quality, showing you starting to display the inner spark of feminine sexuality that drives you to dress in lingerie'! Some unconscious part of you seems to be released and changes the way you stand, the way you move and possibly even the way you think.

The others are even more that way as the excitement and thrill you get from exhibitionism emerges fully. Your more seductive response to the effect you are having on James, and will on others, comes thru perfectly.

I'd like to show them to a guy I know and while he might not want to use these ones I am sure they would arouse his interest. He sells lots of pictures like these to several magazines that specialise in these types of pictures.

Firstly I want you to think about not just one or two men seeing you flitting around in lingerie'. If you do a spread in a magazine literally thousands of men will be looking at them.

Thousands of men who will desire you, want you and stroke their cocks thinking about you. Thousands of men who will fantasise about taking you to bed. Think about that!"

OH GAWD! I could picture it in my mind. Oh my lord talk about the ultimate in exhibitionism. How many gallons of cum would cover my pictures, or at least be freed as men looked at them? I felt my nipples and cock both harden instantly, my pulse pound in my throat. I savored that thought for a minute.

Then the flip side hit me. What if someone I knew saw them? What if someone sent them to my parents? What would friends say when they found out? I'd probably be fired if anyone where I worked saw them! As quickly as I had become excited at first I became scared and depressed. My reactions must have been crystal clear to Sam. (Either that or I'd become used to it from James).

"Relax, nothing's happened yet. Besides if anyone you know does see them they'd be admitting that they enjoy looking at pictures of boys who like to dress up in lingerie, wouldn't they?

Think they want others to know that about themselves?"

True enough. I hadn't considered that point.

"Secondly it is an easy way to make yourself some money. Depending on the type of pictures you are willing to pose for you could actually make quite a bit. Enough to have a bit of surgery done. Breast implants, hip implants, facial surgery, permanent make up if you wanted any of those.

So shall I call him and show him some of these?"

I told Sam I'd have to think about it more and would let him know. He nodded then asked if he could make a few prints so he could show them to him if I decided to. I absently nodded yes and he disappeared into the back with the negatives.

MY thoughts whirled this way and that. I'd never thought about having any type of surgery done to me. Sure I'd stolen some hormone pills and taken them but they'd done little more then make my nipples and breast area puff out enough to just be noticeable and become more sensitive.

Did that mean I really wanted to be more feminine? I knew I could go all out and become a female but I'd never had the kind of money sitting around that could accomplish that. If I did would I want to? If I didn't why did I love dressing like one so much? Why did I feel and behave so different when I was dressed?

Sam came out with the negatives and the developed roll of film I'd brought in. He lifted his eyebrows in question but all I could do was shrug my shoulders and hope he'd understand.

"I hope you realise just how much of an honor this is. I develop a lot of transvestite and cross dressed pictures. You'd be only the third or fourth one I'd even consider showing to Al. To be honest most look like a man wearing a dress, no matter how they act or how much make up they shovel on."

Still undecided and very troubled and confused about what I should do I told him to go ahead and show them to his friend.

At home I changed into a babydoll nitie and laid in silence as my mind continued to whirl in confusion. When I finally did sleep I had troubled dreams. No matter how it started, how innocent it was they all ended with my friends, my family, my parents catching me dressed.

Depressed and troubled when I got up because of the dreams I got even more depressed as I changed into male mode for work. At work I was quiet and reflective. Several of my co workers asked me what was wrong. I wondered what they would have said, how they would have reacted if I'd actually told them.

It had always helped to write things down, sort of distance myself from it all. Stand back and hopefully be able to see things more clearly. I do hope it helps this time!