More Confessions

The poppers I can buy at the ABS today are just horrible. They have almost no rush, they smell worse than ever, and you still get all the bad side effects. I thought I'd die after trying them again, I'm not joking. They are that bad. My slight research on this suggests that they pulled the real poppers off the shelf and we are left with substitutes that are just plain bad for you. So, caveat.

But, short and sweet, I still love to think about my first handful of times I tried poppers a few years back. I have searched here for stories that match my experience. Some come close, but none really describe my feelings.

I've always liked how drugs and alcohol allow me to be free from inhibitions. But I almost never do drugs or drink. My drug induced or alcohol induced euphoria, and that is what I seek, is rare and for that reason memorable. I spent many years, however, indulging in one vice that would be shameful to admit anywhere else but here. I loved going to an ABS and watching porn. I suppose men, and a few women, go to an adult bookstore for all sorts of reasons. I got off on the sexual excitement in the foul air I breathed. There were men who wanted to be sucked there; there were many men who wanted to suck; sometimes fucking; some couples wanting to swing and spice up their sex; a few men who just wanted to masturbate and be watched and be left alone; and others who were happy to get a hardon and take it home. From the first time I ever went, I would get a boner that lasted, and after a few times, I would pull my dick out of my pants inside the theater and enjoy how hard I was. I wanted something, but I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted. I think my excitement came from the idea that a bunch of people could hang out together and be free to be hard and horny together. I've tried to explain this before, but I think my skills just don't do it justice. It makes me wonder if I can explain how poppers made me feel.

Seeing another guy with a hard dick became a turn on for me. I loved the phallic display. I knew full well what a hard dick looked like, but seeing another one, in the flesh, was exciting. Imagine the seductive power of being with another man, you're looking at him and he's looking at you, there's an acknowledgment in your eyes, and maybe even your words, that you are both horny and hard and it is okay for both of you to feel this way at this moment and, well, be upfront about it. That may be easier with a stranger, as long as you feel you are in a comfort zone with each other. So I searched for the men I thought I'd be comfortable with.

As most readers know, it's often not open nudity or sex at an ABS. In fact, many men who are nude there are just too perverted for my taste. I like a little perviness, but I just can't get into a crazed pervert. I like the element of the seduction whenever a man is sitting close to me and we're both still figuring out each other in the dark of the theater while a woman is sucking a man's dick on the screen. Ultimately, I know I like to be seduced, too.

Eventually, I started playing with other men at the ABS. But I wasn't ever interested in sucking dick.

It was probably sitting in theater that I noticed a man whiffing on poppers next to me and he offered them to me. I enjoyed the rush and the warm glow that filled my head as I watched the screen, stroked, and began to admire my new friend's hard dick. I must have taken those thoughts and feelings with me and played them over and over in my head until I would become desperately horny and want to return for more of that experience.

Then one day I was at the theater. A man about my age sat next to me. Eventually, we were openly stroking our hardons. He would look over at me and catch my eye. After a while of just looking at each other, knowing full well what the other knew, he moved closer to me. We covered ourselves at first. His hand began to stroke my thigh, and I began to stroke his. Soon enough we were caressing each other's bulges. Fingers were unzipping pants slowly, tentatively, until each of us could feel the other through our underwear. Fingers then worked under the elastic bands or through openings until we were both touching each other's bare dicks. He began to unbuckle me and slide my pants down. I wiggled them down to my knees while he unbuckled himself and slid his pants down, too.

Now we were both fully exposed, our dicks springing in the open air, our balls hanging into our laps. We continued to stroke ourselves and each other, slowly. I had lots of precum now, and he twirled it around my dickhead. I marveled at his hardness that was in my hand and cupped his soft balls. His hand began to roam under my shirt and he began to caress my stomach and then my chest and then my breasts. I enjoyed that. He began to unbutton my shirt and so I was more and more naked now slouched down in the chair. He was above me, over me, touching my body, as I was almost lying down. He even sucked my nipples into his mouth and began teasing my hole beneath my balls. I was in heaven. I couldn't believe it.

He reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a small brown bottle and took two strong whiffs before handing it to me. I raised myself up in the chair to place the bottle under my nose and repeated what I'd seen him do.

Immediately the warmth washed over me and I was in a euphoric trance. Vague images of a beautiful woman sucking a beautiful hard dick were on the screen. My body was filled with a heady, all consuming lust. I looked at my partner as he continued to caress me, arousing strange feelings inside me. I saw his beautiful dick. It really was beautiful. Fully engorged, stiffly extending from his pubis, a slight bend ending with a nice mushroom tip. It glistened, and I could see it so clearly with only the light from the screen. And then I understood what it was like to want to suck a dick, feel it in my mouth.

I think he saw that look in my eyes. He offered the bottle to me again, holding it under my nose. I took two more strong whiffs and then another for good measure. I bent my body over his dick and took him inside my mouth, slowly holding him inside with my lips, licking his pee hole and gliding my tongue up and down his shaft. My head was now filled with love for this dick. I adored it. He was a man. A man with a beautiful dick.

He gently held my head in his lap and started whispering to me, that's nice, baby, that's very nice. I moaned like some animal. That's my baby doll. Those words stirred more lust for his dick. I had never wanted anything so much as to feel his dick inside my mouth as I bobbed up and down on him, hearing his endearing words and feeling his touch. I knew then I'd never be the same. I have never found the right word for how I felt then. His baby doll comes as close to any.

I got on my knees and continued to suck him. I held his dick in my hand and sucked one of his balls into my mouth, and then the other as I continued to stroke him. I looked up at him, and he offered the bottle again under my nose. I inhaled deeply and greedily. I felt him reach over my bottom as I sucked him and he began to probe my hole with his finger. My hole readily opened up for him. I was now his baby doll in all ways and he began to finger fuck me. He could do anything he wanted. I wanted him to do anything he wanted.

He continued to whisper to me as I made love to his dick with my mouth and my hands and wiggled my butt to will his finger deeper inside me. I love how my baby doll sucks my dick, he repeated. I held his dick in my hand and began again to glide my tongue up and down his shaft, admiring it.

Do you want to be my baby doll, he asked. My anus twitched with an excitement I'd never felt before. I said, yes, baby. I'd never wanted to be a man's baby doll and now I wanted it so much. I wanted it bad.

I asked him, do you want to cum, baby? Yes, he said. How would you like to cum? I asked. In your mouth, baby, he said.

That made me smile. We both whiffed again. His dick filled my mouth so easily. He held my head, whispering to me, calling me his baby. I kept saying yes. I felt him start to throb more and more, and then I knew he was about to cum. I swirled my tongue around his pee hole as I felt his cum begin to fill my mouth. I smiled as he spurted inside my lips, and I let it dribble on his body.

It was utterly delicious. We were both smiling as we regained our senses from the rush and began to dress. I sat in my chair to finish, and the glow I felt was overwhelming. He thanked me, asked if we could meet again, and I said, yes, I would like that, baby.