More than Friends: Ch. 05

Yvonne woke up early the next morning with a pounding headache from having too much to drink the previous night. She was beginning to recall some of the stuff she'd said to Janice when she spotted Edward from the corner of her eye; he was dressing for work.

"I was horrible last night." she croaked.

"Yes, you were."

Edward didn't turn to face her, focusing instead on adjusting his tie.

"How mad is she?"

"She isn't anymore. I dropped her home last night and then we had a chat."

"What did she say?"

"She seemed ... disappointed."

"I should apologize."

"Didn't you once say that words mean nothing?" he asked her in a flat tone as he picked up his jacket and briefcase.

Yvonne knew Edward was right and just as she knew the reason for her own bitchy behavior the previous night.

"We need to talk."

Edward was almost out the door, but halted at her words. He turned and watched Yvonne sitting on the bed. For once she appeared to be uncertain about something- it made her look so small.

"Yes, we do." he agreed wholeheartedly. He suspected that she'd probably want to talk to him about their relationship. They hadn't had sex in a long time, not since he'd roughly taken her while consumed by his lust for Janice. The truth would be too hurtful to her but he owed her some explanation for why he couldn't be intimate with her anymore.

"Dinner, tonight?"

"Sure."

They smiled at each other weakly. Both weren't looking forward to the task at hand but knew their relationship couldn't continue the way it was going.

*****

"What the hell really happened yesterday?"

Dara was still confused about exactly what took place over the weekend. One minute they were having fun and then they were not. Since he hadn't heard from Janice, he naturally sought Edward out for some answers, after his last meeting for the day.

"A misunderstanding." Edward explained with a shrug. He didn't see the need to provide Dara with any of the details.

Dara squinted at Edward as if to compel him to divulge more information on the subject. When it didn't work, he was forced to ask.

"What kind of misunderstanding? This whole weekend has been weird. As soon as we get there I noticed some tension between Yvonne and Janice. Then it looked like something happened between you and Janice and she took off and she hasn't been answering my calls since ... This trip turned out so not how I expected it to be."

"What were you expecting?" Edward asked trying to deflect Dara's question.

"Dunno ... Second base or at least to be in the same bed as Janice."

Edward was a little taken aback. Knowing Dara, he was expecting something more lurid and deviant than he'd just described.

"I'd just like to hold her, you know. She feels so good when I have her in my arms. She smells like ..."

Burst of citrus on a warm summer's day, thought Edward.

"... I can't describe it. She just feels good and I can only imagine what she must taste like."

Edward couldn't believe that he was hearing these words coming out of Dara's mouth- Dara, the serial womanizer. Had Yvonne and Janice been right about him all along, he wondered.

Dara felt a little self-conscious under Edward's scrutiny but he'd never felt like this before and there was no one he could share his feelings with, without being laughed off.

"Does she know you feel this way?"

"I don't know. I hope so. I don't want to scare her off by coming on too strong."

Edward felt his jaw drop in shock. He couldn't believe that the man who had been forward enough to ask women about their gag reflexes as his opening line was confessing to holding back on talking about his feelings because he was afraid it would be too ham-fisted an approach.

"You really care about her?"

"Yeah, man. And, I have the blue balls to show for it too."

At least this sounded more like the Dara he knew, thought Edward.

"Frankly, I'm surprised you've stuck around despite that for so long- a record for you, surely?"

"Mmhmm. But you know how it is with women. If they manage to hold on to their cherry past a particular age, they don't just give it up to anybody."

"Hold on to their, what now?" asked Edward thoroughly confused.

"Oh, didn't you know?"

When Edward continued to stare at him dumbly, Dara continued.

"Your li'l friend happens to still be a card carrying member of the 'virgins only' club."

First Dara talks like he's falling in love. And now he learnt that Janice- the temptress who seemed to just wait for an unguarded moment to pop into his mind and taunt him with what he couldn't have- was a virgin. Could this day get any weirder, thought Edward.

Ah, yes. I still have that dinner conversation with Yves, later tonight.

"Janice is a remarkable woman. I'm glad you've come to appreciate her and aren't being bull-headed. There were some misunderstandings between the girls- nothing to do with you. Just give Janice some time to cool off."

What else could he say? At this point, Dara appeared to have more honorable intentions towards Janice than he did. He prayed that somehow he could fix things with Yvonne or at least find some middle ground that didn't leave them both feeling unhappy about their relationship.

*****

Yvonne spent the day unfocused and nervous. She considered calling Janice and asking her to tell Edward the truth; after all Janice was the one to first lie to Edward and impersonate Yvonne. But, she couldn't bring herself to do it because it wasn't fair.

And, she's already pretty pissed at me.

Unable to handle the strain, Yvonne finally took off early from work and got home to prepare a fancy dinner for Edward. She was going to spoil him and pamper him to the extent where he would be too pleased to be upset over what she'd done.

*****

Janice awoke the next day with an unexpected sense of peace that she hadn't felt in a long time. Although initially she felt embarrassment about Yvonne telling Edward about her crush on him, it was followed by relief as it gave her an opportunity to tell him how much she cherished her memories of him. Edward had been Edward, making her feel comfortable enough to give words to some of long suppressed feelings for him.

The exchange, though bittersweet, was one that she was thankful for and as such couldn't be angry with Yvonne any more. She knew her friend would most likely be hung over and feeling horrible by now. She considered calling her and telling her that she was not mad at her, but then changed her mind. She would let Yvonne stew for a while; that way she would know better than to blurt out any more of her secrets in the future.

She looked at her phone and saw the numerous missed calls from Dara. She'd forgotten about him in the midst of all the weekend drama. She would call him after work and plan something to make amends for how rotten their first weekend away had ended up.

*****

Edward pulled into the driveway of the house he shared with Yvonne. The place was shrouded in darkness. He opened the door and heard soft strains of classical music coming from their bedroom. He headed up the stairs aided by the light of the candles placed along the way to their bedroom. The bedroom also appeared lit up by an assortment of candles. He noticed covered dishes on a mat on the floor. The aromas bore the promise of a feast. And if that wasn't mouth-watering enough, as if on cue, Yvonne emerged from the bathroom wearing a red silk and lace negligee.

"Wow!" Edward gawked. Yvonne was such a stunner, so why did he still keep lusting after Janice, he wondered.

You just did it again, you idiot! Fuck!!

"Hi." Yvonne smiled and waved. She gestured for him to join her on the floor. They both settled down and she began uncovering the dishes.

"Wow! You really went all out." Edward commented, dumbfounded.

Yvonne shrugged her shoulders as if to say it wasn't a big deal for her and it was the truth. She didn't enjoy the process but she was an excellent cook. So on the rare occasions that she would prepare meals it would make anyone wonder why she didn't choose to make her career in the culinary field.

"I thought we should enjoy a nice meal and then maybe some desert," she said, suggestively, "before we have our talk."

Edward had not come prepared with what he would say to her. He planned on simply following her lead and hearing what she had to say before bringing up his own unique challenges with their relationship.

"Thank you for taking the trouble. This is really wonderful."

He was grateful for her effort since he felt he didn't deserve any of it, as Yvonne would most likely hate him when she learnt the truth about his obsession with her friend the past few months.

Yvonne tried to make small talk with Edward as she served up one savory treat after the other. Unfortunately, Edward was feeling like too much of a heel, making everything taste like ash in his mouth. When he could no longer pretend to enjoy himself he wiped his mouth with a napkin and set his plate aside.

No point delaying the inevitable.

She noticed him distracted. The romantic ambience, the sensual food and her seductive attire had failed to have him under her spell like she'd hoped for. She watched him wipe his mouth and knew it was time.

"I've been meaning to talk to you, for a while now." started Yvonne. "For a long time, I've worried about our relationship. I've found myself wondering if you fell for someone else ..."

Oh god! She knows. She knows!

"... or if you ever, even, loved me at all."

Yes, my darling. Of course I love you.

Edward wanted to take her in his arms and tell her that in all likelihood it was nothing but lust he felt for Janice.

"But the reason was not because of anything you did. It was because of something I didn't do." She said emphasizing the last three words and waited for their meaning to register with him.

"I've kept a secret from you. At first, because it wasn't mine to disclose. Later, because I was afraid."

"I don't understand, Yves. What secret?"

"I am not your Yvonne."

Edward laughed out loud. His nerves were already quite strained that evening, he didn't know how else to respond to such an absurd statement.

"What I mean to say is that, I am not the woman who corresponded with you all those years."

What is she saying? Edward blinked in disbelief.

"The first few letters were from me. But everything that followed- the monthly letters, the weekly mails- was someone else."

"But you sent me pictures of yourself and I contacted you and we met!"

"Yes. You were shown pictures of me with my friends. And yes we met and dated and I fell in love with you and moved in with you."

Edward had the nagging sense that something crucial was being overlooked at this point but he was too confused. He felt like his whole life had been turned on its head.

"But ... we've been living together. You said you loved me!"

"And I do, my darling. That's why I couldn't tell you."

"It had to be you!" That's when it struck him, what it was he'd skipped past. "Who else could it be?"

Who else could it be? There's no one who was that close to us throughout except for-

"Janice!" he exclaimed.

Yvonne nodded.

All these years ... all those mails! Over a decade, and it was-

"Janice?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Yes."

Janice, the woman who inspired lust in him like no one before was also the girl who wrote him for so many years.

"Why did she lie to me?"

"You'll have to ask her."

"Why did you play along? Is this some sorta game you two play with men?"

He knew it was both unfair and illogical an accusation, but he felt too hurt and angry to care about those details.

"Jan was in France when you asked to meet. She asked me to go meet you instead. I had no idea that Jan had stayed in touch with you ... I met you for drinks and there was an instant attraction. It's like you already knew me. I'd never felt that comfortable with anyone before.

"I fell in love with you Eddie and I was scared you'd change how you were with me if you knew the truth. I didn't want to risk that. So I kept quiet."

"I don't understand any of this. Why are you telling me any of this now?"

"I needed to tell you for my own peace of mind. For too long I've had this doubt that I need you to squash once and for all. I've wanted to know if you fell in love with me or if you were already in love with Yvonne when you asked to meet her."

"I fell in love with Yvonne. But it wasn't something that happened overnight. It was gradual and took years, till one day I realized she was the woman I wanted to spend my life with."

Edward clenched his jaw as he thought about the moment when he bought the ring. He'd spend way more on it than he should have, considering he hadn't even met her then, but he didn't want to offer her anything less than his absolute best.

She lied to me. So many years she pretended. All this time with me, she pretended. Was it ever even real?

"And to answer your question, I was already in love before I ever met you."

He lay absolutely still, hoping that in the process he would still his tumultuous emotions as well.

"What does this mean for us, Eddie?" Yvonne asked him quietly after an eternity of silence.

Edward looked up at her, his eyes red with anger and unshed tears.

"What do you think, Yvonne?"

She flinched. It wasn't lost on her that he didn't call her Yves.

"For over a year, it's been you and me, Eddie. You dated me, you made love to me, you have been living with me. I don't get why-"

"I did all those things," said Edward, finally standing up, "because I believed you were her. I never once stopped to imagine that someone I loved would play me like this!"

So easily, she pretended ... like it didn't matter, like I didn't matter, maybe, because I didn't. Maybe, she never felt the same way about me. How else could she push me into another woman's arms like this?

Edward leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor, finally being hit with the full extent of Yvonne's revelation.

Yvonne knew she'd made a mess of things. And as much as she loved Edward, she could tell that there was no hope for them. She wished she had told him the truth on their first date but there was no point in thinking about what she could have done then, now.

She knelt before his slumped figure and cupped his face in her hands. It was such a tender gesture and so unlike Yvonne, Edward found himself looking at her like a drowning person looks to a buoy.

"Please understand, I NEVER meant to hurt you or play with your feelings. I was just being selfish. I planned on telling you, someday. I just needed some time- time for you to get to know me, to fall in love with me."

She watched his gaze flicker and continued quickly while she still had his attention.

"I can see how that was never possible, not when your heart is already so full of someone else- there was never any room for me."

She started to tear up but needed to finish saying what she had to say while she still possessed the courage to do so.

She let go of his face.

"No point in dragging this dead horse around. So, I accept this as the end of our relationship as lovers, but can we please stay friends? It may not seem like it now, but I do really care about you."

When she got no response from him she stood up.

"I'll pack my bags and move out tonight." she said and set to the task immediately.

Edward was struggling to process everything going on. It was only when he watched Yvonne pack her bags that her words finally registered with him. He was angry and he was sad, but he could see that Yvonne was a victim too.

"Stop." he spoke feebly.

Yvonne halted and looked at him questioningly.

"I'm not going to kick you out in the middle of the night, Yves. You can stay here till you've found a place to move in. I'll stay in the guest bedroom till then."

"Are you sure? I don't want to make things any more awkward or difficult than they already are."

"Well, things are pretty shitty right now and I am pretty mad, but oddly it's not at you."

"Jan?"

"Yes. Why- I want to know why, but, I don't think I can accept any reason."

"You should give her chance to explain. Shall I call her?"

"No. I don't think I can handle that right now."

He stared blankly thinking about what he was going to do.

"Just don't say anything to her. I want to confront her on my own terms."

Yvonne swore that she wouldn't say anything to Janice and Edward finally managed to pick himself up and stagger to the guest bedroom.

She lied to me, she knew how I felt, and yet she misled me.

*****

Edward was unable to sleep that night. He started out feeling hurt and heartbroken like something precious had been snatched away from him. He couldn't understand Janice's motivations to lie. She knew that he wanted to be with Yvonne and even marry her just because he believed that she was his best friend. She had so many opportunities to tell him the truth and yet she never even hinted at it.

He was tempted to storm over to her place and demand an explanation. But he couldn't think of anything she could say that would give him satisfaction, however, there were things he could do to her that would bring him great satisfaction.

Ugh! How can I still desire her?

Because, she's the one.

No! She played me. If she cared about me at all, she wouldn't have let me be with Yvonne when she knew I was in love with her.

Why not hear her side? You owe her that.

No, there's nothing she could say. She set me up with Yvonne. She's with Dara. Fuck! She's with Dara.

Why do you care?

Because.

Because?

She's mine!

Ever since he got reacquainted with Janice upon her return from France he had felt a strong connection with her. He was confused about the level of ease he felt with her, confused by the attraction he felt towards her. He'd never been able to understand his connection to her, till now. She was his. Quite simply, she belonged with him.

*****

Edward woke up the following morning much calmer than he was the previous night. He was still upset but he believed he knew Janice well enough to know that she lacked the capacity to deliberately hurt someone. He could only conclude that, maybe, she never saw him as anything more than a friend and as such had not been keen on pursuing anything beyond that.

It was up to him now to show her, they belonged together. She may not want anything more than friendship from him, but he was determined to make her fall in love with him.

*****

Edward spent the day wondering about how he would go about wooing Janice. He couldn't just walk up to her and ask her out but he needed some excuse to spend time with her. He found his answer in the least expected place, when he ran into Dara that day.

Dara excitedly rambled on, letting Edward know that Janice was taking him out for dinner on Saturday as she was "eager to make amends," he quoted her as saying, for the way the weekend had turned out.

Dara's little news made Edward realize that he would have to win Janice's affection before her relationship progressed any further, which meant that he had to take some action before the clock ran out on him that Saturday.

*****

Yvonne kept her word to Edward and didn't tell Janice about her break-up. However she was hurting and needed to share with someone, so she called her mother.

Martha was shocked. Like Edward, she couldn't understand why the girls had chosen to mess things up by lying to him. She felt bad for Yvonne, who she knew was experiencing her first heartache. She'd never met Edward before but, from what Yvonne had told her, it looked like it was a good thing they chose to part ways. Her daughter deserved someone who would love her for who she was.