Moving Forward

Disclaimer: As you read this story, keep in mind that I try to include something for everyone, and some people are always looking for mistakes. So, if you find any errors, please remember that they are there for a reason.

I've seen a number of stories with this theme so I'm not breaking any new ground here. As usually happens with me, I had an idea (the phone call) and the story grew from there. Not much sex here, but what little there is includes only those 18 or older.

Thank you very much for reading. I appreciate you giving me a little bit of your day.

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I had to go backward in order to go forward.

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It had only been two months since my two-year relationship with Laurie had come to an end. She had dumped me because we weren't moving forward, she said. I couldn't understand what the rush was. I mean, we're only in our mid-20's and things were going great. Why risk messing it up by getting married, right?

Well, she didn't see it that way and handed me my walking papers. I missed her a lot, but frankly for me it reinforced a lot of the feelings I'd been having. I'd spent the last couple of months playing the field and having a grand time, even if it felt a little empty sometimes. I was getting laid about 3 times a week. Granted, Laurie and I used to do it 5-6 times a week so it was a step down, but at least these hook-ups came without strings.

I was alone tonight, sitting in a local sports bar having some wings and beer and watching the first quarter of the Colts and Texans. There was no score and the game had been pretty boring thus far.

"Marky?"

Only one person had ever called me Marky. I looked up into a face I hadn't seen in 5 years.

"Marky, it is you! Oh my GOD!'

She threw herself on to my lap and planted a kiss on me that threatened to suck every last molecule of air out of my lungs. But then she had always been like that.

"Wow, Rayanne, how are you!

"I'm good, and now I'm even better. It's been too long. What're you doing?"

"Nothing. Just grabbing some dinner and watching a crappy football game. You?"

"I was just walking by and saw you. I had to see if it was you. Want to grab some coffee or something?"

"Sure."

We left the sports bar and stopped at Grinders Coffee a couple doors down. Rayanne and I had met in college and I was completely in love with her from the very first. She had long, blonde hair and a nice, tight body. We'd been assigned to the same group on a project during the first semester of our junior year. We had an instant connection, and spent the night of our second group project meeting fucking up a storm, after the others had left, of course. That should have been my first clue.

We fell in love hard and fast. I'd like to say we were inseparable but that's not the reality of college life. We each had other classes and study groups, and I also worked part-time. My folks could handle the expenses okay, but they wanted me to put in a little 'sweat equity' myself. As a result, we were apart as much as we were together.

Sexually, Rayanne was insatiable. I was usually the one that suggested we do something, anything, before just hopping into bed for sex. I didn't want our entire relationship to be built around physical intimacy.

Things were great for almost 2 years, and I was planning my proposal as graduation approached. I was at work one night but was sent home early when one of the machines went down and we had to close while a repair was arranged. I decided to surprise Rayanne with my sudden availability, and isn't that always the way these things happen.

I showed up at her apartment, and on opening the door her roommate, Toni, was immediately on edge. She tried to tell me Rayanne wasn't there but her car was in the parking lot and Rayanne never went anywhere without her car. But even still I had no intention of busting in until I heard the 'Oh God, yes!' from the back of the apartment. Since it was just the two of them that lived there, either that was Rayanne or they were letting some other woman get screwed in their apartment.

I pushed past Toni intent on catching her in the act, but she grabbed my arm and tried to stop me. It was just like her to try and reason with me during a purely emotional moment.

"Mark, she loves you, really. She's just trying some things out before she settles down. You don't want to go in there."

She was right. I didn't WANT to go in there, but I NEEDED to go in there. I kept moving toward the back and Toni reluctantly let go of me. She knew me well enough to know that I wouldn't get violent, unless provoked of course, so made no further effort to stop me, but she had a look of sorrow on her face.

I had been prepared to catch her with a guy. I mean, that much seemed obvious. I was most decidedly not prepared to find her with 2 of them. She was on her hands and knees, with one in her from behind (I would guess in her pussy but couldn't say for sure; she enjoyed both) and one in her mouth. The opening of the door drew their attention and all 3 turned in my direction like cats following a laser pointer.

At first, Rayanne just looked at me in shock. I could almost hear her mind saying 'you're supposed to be at work', but I give her credit for not having actually said it. Having seen everything I needed to see, I turned and walked out. I'm pretty sure I heard 'Marky' as I left but it may have been my imagination, or just wishful thinking.

I felt just terrible. I really thought we had something and to find out that Rayanne was just using me, that I was just another guy she was fucking was a huge blow to my ego. Was I that clueless when it came to reading her? Or had we started out exclusive but she decided I wasn't enough for her. Suddenly I had all of these doubts about myself as a person and as a man, and most certainly as a potential husband.

And the worst part of all was that I still loved her with all my heart.

I couldn't even bring myself to talk to her right now. I was sure she was going to tell me how inadequate I had been so she needed to have sex with someone else. In fact, I'd been such a disappointment that she'd needed two men just to make up for how bad I was.

I somehow made it through the last few weeks of school without my grades tanking. She tried to convince me that she really did love me, and that she was just having a few experiences before we settled down for the rest of our lives. Yeah, that's right, a FEW experiences.

In the interest of complete honesty, she completely tore out whatever shred of dignity and self-esteem I had left by letting me know that she had been fucking around on me for 6 months, but they were all what she considered 'extraordinary opportunities'. Basically, she wanted to experience all of these things in her life and she couldn't do it once she got married. Ergo, she had to do them all, or at least anything she was sure I wouldn't go for, before tying the knot.

Most, but not all, consisted of multiple people at a time. One that didn't was a visit to our local adult book store and one of their glory holes. That one fulfilled her desire for an anonymous sexual encounter. She had no idea who was on the other side of that wall, and thinks there may have been more than one because she didn't think one guy could recover so fast.

You see, after sucking off one guy, and swallowing what he had to offer (though that was common enough for her), another hard dick was through the hole immediately, so she thinks it was a different guy. This one she strapped a condom on to and then backed up against the hole and fucked it until the guy filled the condom. She says she never came but she was glad to have the experience.

In fact, she admitted, the threesome that I walked in on was actually one of the milder of her adventures. She'd also pulled trains, did a gang bang, and even participated in a 6-woman lesbian orgy, even though she had never once expressed an interest in other women to me. She says that one was fun and she was already trying to figure out how to get me to allow another woman into our bed. Oh, for her to play with, not me. She just couldn't handle that, she said.

When all was said and done, she insisted it was out of her system and she was ready to be my loving, faithful wife. Of course, by this time my self-esteem and self-respect was totally shot, as was my trust in her. Even though I knew it was the right thing to do, for many reasons, it was still one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was still struggling with my feelings of self-worth. I fell into a depression that I continued to struggle with regularly.

And now here she is, 5 years later and looking just as beautiful and sexy as she ever did, and suddenly none of that mattered. She had no rings on (I checked) and I was single again. Just seeing her again brought back all of those feelings of love I had felt for her when we met, and I was anxious to find out if she truly was ready to be a faithful wife. It was odd, but the step I couldn't bring myself to take with Laurie was the one I was practically dying to take with Rayanne.

We talked about her job (real estate) and my job (benefits coordinator for a local company) and reminisced about the good times we had together, but it almost seemed like we were avoiding our relationship statuses. I assumed she had spied my ringless finger like I had hers, so maybe we both considered it a non-issue.

We left the coffee house and went to a club to do some dancing and drinking. The intervening years had not dampened her energy or her sexuality. She had me as hard as a rock all night long, and even copped a few feels as the evening wore on. More than one guy asked her to dance when we were taking a break and she shot every one of them down. I was having a great time and started thinking about what my future might really hold.

It was nearing 10:00pm when she took my hand and slid it up under her skirt and into her crotch.

"Feel the heat I'm giving off, baby. You need to take me back to your place and fuck me."

I quickly settled our tab and we left. She wasn't comfortable leaving her car so she followed me back to my apartment. We were no sooner inside the front door than we were pulling at our own and each other's clothes. She went to her knees and swallowed the full length of my shaft, and between her oral skills, my anticipation of being with her again, and the teasing that had gone on all night, I blew my load down her throat in an almost embarrassingly short amount of time. But she just took it in stride and pulled me to the bedroom.

She had always been assertive and tonight was no different. She pushed me down on the bed and immediately climbed on top of me, pushing her smoothly shaven pussy into my face.

"Eat me, baby. Make me cum like you used to."

I nibbled and sucked on her clit while sliding a couple of fingers inside her. I had been really good at getting her off back in the day, or thought I had before walking in on her that night, so I brought all the old tricks to bear. I soon employed one of Rayanne's favorites: my now-moistened finger being worked into her rectum.

"Yeah, baby, I still like it up the ass."

I ate Rayanne to orgasm and then the fucking began. Over the next few hours we hit every position I could think of. Rayanne came countless times and I managed 3 more myself, the last as I was plunging into her ass. Finally, completely spent, we rolled over and nodded off.

I woke up to Rayanne moving around my bedroom. She was finishing getting dressed and gathering her things. She was trying to be quiet but smiled when she saw me sit up. She sat down on the end of the bed, her purse in hand.

"I need to be getting home."

"Can't you stay?"

She smiled at me as she reached into her purse. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to see her sliding the rings on to her finger, but I was.

"I can't. My husband doesn't like me to stay out all night."

"You're...you're married?"

"Yep. Three years now."

"But what was this? I thought..."

She reached out to me tenderly, taking my hand in hers.

"This was just sex, baby. Look Marky, the truth is that I'm a slut. I was a slut before I met you, I was a slut while we were together, and I've been a slut ever since. I just happened to find a husband that doesn't mind. In fact, with any luck he spent the night with some hottie himself."

"I don't...I don't understand."

"Look, Carl and I are more good friends than we are in love. We hooked up one night and hit it off so we got together a few more times. Neither of us were cut out for monogamy but we got real close and decided to get married. I don't love him like I loved...hell, like I still love you. But, when I get home after fucking some guy, it makes me feel better that there's someone there for me."

"Do you guys ever have sex?"

"Oh yeah. I get probably half of my sex life from him. Marky, the truth is that I just love having sex with new guys. I loved you so much back then and I couldn't even stay faithful to you, though I sure did try. I made it a whole year before finally giving in, but once I did I couldn't stop. I had hoped I could hide it from you so we could stay together but I realize that you would have found out eventually. I'm so sorry for that. I was selfish and didn't want to lose you. Thank you for tonight, Marky. You'll never know how much it means to me."

She leaned into me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"I left my number on your dresser. You're the best I've ever had and would love for us to get together again, but I know you may not go for that. I'll be disappointed if you don't call but I'll understand. I love you, Marky. I always will."

With that she walked out of my bedroom, and moments later I heard the front door shut. I just sat there in disbelief at this unexpected turn of events. Here I was thinking we might end up getting back together, being flooded with all of these feelings, and I was just a hard dick.

I climbed out of bed and stripped the sheets, not wanting to smell the sex all night. I tossed them into the washer section of my washer-dryer combo and then climbed into the shower. I had an urge, maybe even a need, to rid myself and my surroundings of any trace of Rayanne.

As I dressed I noticed the piece of paper with her phone number on it. I picked it up and studied it for a minute, then came to a decision. I picked up my phone and dialed. The phone rang twice before a sleepy voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Laurie, it's me."

"Mark? Jesus, do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Yeah, it's, like 3am. Are you alone?"

There was a pause and then a sigh.

"That's not really your business anymore, Mark."

"You're right, I'm sorry. All I meant was...I didn't want to interrupt anything you might be in the middle of."

Another sigh.

"Yes, Mark, I'm alone. What did you want?"

"Can I come see you?"

"We've only been split up for two months, Mark. I don't think that would be a good idea right now."

"Please, Laurie."

"Mark, why don't you call me tomorrow and maybe we can set something up so I can be in a better place, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, okay, whatever. I'll call you later."

I ended the call, feeling even worse than I had before. I'm not sure what would have happened if Laurie hadn't called me right back.

"Hello?"

"Is it that important, Mark?"

"I think so."

"Okay, come on over. I'll put some coffee on."

I went out to my car, and to be honest I don't remember the drive over there. I had all sorts of things running through my mind, though mostly just what on earth I was going to say to her. As I pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex, I knew what I was going to do. I knocked, then got down on one knee as she opened the door.

"Laurie Ann Smith, will you marry me?"

She just stared at me for a minute. I think she was trying to decide if I was drunk, especially since it was now almost 3:30 in the morning and I didn't even have a ring. I suppose it was probably foolish of me to hope that she'd immediately say yes and leap into my arms. At least she hadn't said no. Yet.

"Before I answer that, Mark, we apparently need to talk. Come inside and sit down."

I took a seat on one end of the sofa and soon had a cup of coffee in my hands. Laurie sat in the chair opposite me. She had her long, straight, black hair pulled back in a ponytail and was wearing her light pink terrycloth robe. I could see the bottom of one of her nightshirts peeking out. I wondered if she still slept without panties.

"Okay, Mark. What happened tonight?"

"I ran into Rayanne."

"The same Rayanne that cheated on you in college."

"Yep."

"Then let's get this out of the way right now: did you have sex with her?"

I hesitated. I wasn't proud of what I had done, being sucked into the orbit of the woman that had all but destroyed me. In fact, it was Laurie that did most of the 'putting me back together', which made it even worse.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing to me, Mark. You were a single man doing what single men do. It's the same thing you've been doing the last few months." I looked at her, shocked. "Don't be so surprised. I keep getting reports, whether I want them or not. But I do have to wonder what you were thinking, considering how things ended the first time."

"I think...I guess...she made me feel terrible about myself. I felt like her cheating on me was her telling me what she thought of me, and for some reason I needed...needed to get her approval, as stupid as that sounds."

"Did you get it?"

"Sort of, I guess. She's been married for 3 years." That caught Laurie by surprise. "For the record, I didn't know that until just before we went our separate ways. She married a guy she likes but she still loves me, but he's okay with her sleeping around because he does it, too."

"So they have an open marriage?"

"More like a marriage of convenience. It's like they're together just to have someone."

"That's sad."

"All of these years I thought it was me. I thought I wasn't man enough to keep a woman happy, and all this time it was her, not me. I had convinced myself that I was a guy that women would cheat on. I was so scared that it was just a matter of time until..."

"Jesus, Mark, I would never do that to you! Is that why you never committed to me? To us?"

"I'm pretty sure," I said as I nodded my head. "I was scared to be hurt again, but even more than that, I was scared to disappoint you."

Laurie got on her knees in front of me, clutching my hands in hers.

"Baby, I love you." You can't imagine how nice it was to hear her call me baby again. "I knew exactly what I was getting with you and I was thrilled beyond my wildest dreams. I can't believe that all this time you've been holding back because some slut cheated on you all those years ago."

"Pretty pathetic, isn't it?"

"No, baby. It hurts me to think you've felt that way about yourself all this time. Listen to me, Mark. You are a wonderful man. You're going to be an amazing husband and father. Any woman would be lucky to have you."

"But I don't want just any woman, Laurie."

She stood up and walked to the other side of the room and just stood there for a minute. She had her back to me so all I could do was wait. Suddenly she turned toward me.

"Yes."

"Yes what"

"Yes, Mark, I'll marry you."

I leapt from the couch and hugged her just as tight as I could. She felt so good. Rayanne was slim but Laurie was well-rounded. She wasn't fat, just curvy, and I loved how she felt in my arms, especially with her perky tits pressing into my chest. I didn't want to let her go, but alas there was more to be said.

"But listen carefully, okay? You need to see a counselor of some kind to deal with this, okay. I don't think an epiphany after a fuck session with the town bike qualifies as proper emotional recovery."