Moving On

After reading a story of a hotwife fantasy turned nightmare, KT Morrison'sLosing His Wife: Book Three, I was inspired to rewrite its conclusion. The backstory in short revolves around Pete Mapplethorpe's fantasy of his wife becoming a hotwife turning into a nightmare. By Book Three, Pete has lost his wife, Jess, to a younger man, Tyler. Jess has in fact demanded a divorce from Pete and thrown him out of the family home while welcoming the deadbeat Tyler into the home, effectively replacing Pete in the home and as a father figure to their two sons, Petey and Andy. At the end of Book Three, Pete turns the tables on Tyler and runs him off using the knowledge of Tyler's past misdeeds.

The emotions this book (recommended by a friend) evoked in me were not pretty, hence this short tale. It's sappy and sad. Readers allergic to eithe narrative tone should avoid reading further. Consider yourself warned! All other readers, enjoy!

Thanks goes to blackrandl1958 for editing suggestions and DFWBeast for making this a better read!

July 7th Four Years Later

Jess blinked, eyes smarting in the heat of a July summer morning. The sight of the set of twins currently being fawned over by her boys and Pete's sister made her worry if the burning sensation in her eyes had causes other than the summer heat. Almost out of habit, her hands went to the empty space where her ring had been before that disastrous episode filed away in her memory under the name 'Tyler' had occurred. She swallowed the bitter load of regret and self-hate that rose in her throat every time she recalled that name. Anything that reminded her of the reckless, selfish bastard — who had persuaded and seduced her into kicking her husband out of their home and hurting him with a display of callousness she could scarcely believe was possible of herself — made her perilously panicky.

She couldn't, she wouldn't allow herself to fall apart on a day like this. As much as she longed to curl up in a foetal position and cry herself to sleep, there was that much decency left in her that she wouldn't spoil the day for Pete.

Get a hold of yourself! Don't you dare let Pete down.

Jess swallowed a bitter laugh rising from that pool of bitter irony lodged somewhere between her ribs and her throat at the thoughts that ran through her head. Pete looked fine today. He would never be some muscle-bound he-man, but there was a firmness in him that women appreciated. A strength that came from the inside, which beat all the muscled cowards who bullied and got their way through brute strength, but was nowhere to be found when trouble came calling. The same brand of coward had upended her married life almost five short years ago.

Hindsight was always 20/20 and for the thousandth time, Jess wished she had had that wisdom in her five years ago to have seen what Tyler was. In her excitement over fulfilling her sexual fantasies and assuaging that nagging doubt that ate at her 35-year-old self, she'd fallen for a shallow young man who took advantage of her lust, her money and her desperation. She'd been taken in by a human advertisement for steroid-induced physical perfection. Of course, she hadn't known about Tyler's steroid and drug habits till much later. She'd been blinded by that physical perfection and the satisfaction of an ego boost that some 22-year-old man had decided she was a worthy lover.

Geez, I can't believe I thought he was the greatest lover I ever had!

She remembered thinking that on their vacation away from home. She'd chosen to indulge herself and her lover in Florida, using money that was as much Pete's as it was her own. Jess winced as she remembered her cruelty towards Pete whom she'd thrown out of their house and from whom she'd demanded a divorce. How she'd demanded he take care of their sons without him stepping foot back in their house while she went away with her lover. She'd allowed Tyler to dictate to her how she should abuse her husband. Tyler's moods and whims had taken priority even over her love for her family. She'd allow Tyler to take over their home and family.

Lord, I even demanded Pete prepare our house for the storm that was to hit the area, but not stay in the house. No wonder he called me an evil cunt bitch!

The jolt of Pete losing his temper was quickly quelled by her desperate eagerness to live the dream. So eager was she to clutch at that dream, she couldn't believe was finally in her reach that she'd ignored the rare pricks of conscience that hit her during the vacation. She'd even ignored the truth the mirror revealed in its reflection of a sad, aging woman who had torn up her marriage and life for a mirage. She'd shut off the voice of reason. She'd made herself blind to all the signs that Tyler was a user who had no compunction about the lives he devastated. She'd ignored his endless flirtation with other women during that vacation, choosing instead to see it as affirmation of her choice. He was a trophy for her. For all her frustration over family life, she even wanted to give him children of their own. She'd reasoned with herself that a life with Tyler was something she deserved after all the frustration and disappointment she'd endured in her life. Somehow, she never saw beyond the perfect fantasy she'd constructed. Never truly looked at Tyler himself or beyond the surface perfection of the act he had put on.

Jess sighed, the cycle of blame was always circular. At the end of the day, the finger pointed right back at her. She'd been the older one, supposedly the adult one. She taught eight year olds for God's sake. Yet, 35 years of knowledge and experience had meant little. She'd been reduced to a dumb teen who wanted what she wanted, whatever the consequences. And she'd wanted that young bad boy. She recalled with a wry smile how a counsellor had suggested at some point: Tyler was not a villain, he was just a lost boy trying to be a man. She'd stared at that counsellor, unsure if she was to laugh or cry. A quick retort had risen to her mouth.

"I bet you wouldn't say that if he'd been some overweight loser! God, why do the beautiful people always get away with everything! He was a user! He used me and I let him—"

Her harsh response seemed not to have upset the counsellor. Instead, she'd sat back in her chair and smiled at Jess. Realisation came with an outsized share of humble pie and guilt.

"And if it had been someone like your husband, someone like Pete, you would have never done that? Never allowed yourself to be that weak or to be taken advantage of?"

The slight smile on the counsellor's face made Jess blush. That was the truth wasn't it? She'd gone along with Pete's suggestion, his kinky fantasy because it was a convenient way for her to act out her own frustration and desires. She'd even blamed Pete for putting her in the way of becoming a hotwife. It was his fault. She was a victim. Then she'd blamed Tyler for being the bastard he was. Up till that moment in the counsellor's office, she'd never acknowledged her own role in the disaster that wrecked her marriage and life.

The counsellor had leaned forward as she watched the emotions that chased each other across Jess' face. Guilt, shame, grief. Lightly laying her hand on Jess's arm, the counsellor sought to mitigate the emotional blow Jess had just received.

"I know it's difficult, but you have to get some clarity before you can resolve that confusion inside you. Only after that can you really move on."

The counsellor had looked so empathetic that Jess finally confided in her. Laying bare the circumstances that had led her to that point was an exercise in excruciating guilt and shame. Oddly enough, she'd not felt more than small pinpricks of guilt when she'd behaved so monstrously towards Pete. No, the scalding tide of guilt only rushed upon her when she recounted her actions and behaviour. The narrative made it impossible to hide the scale of her cruelty. Through telling, she'd shown what she'd wilfully hidden from everyone, including herself.

She'd even dealt with the guilt that had plagued her when it came to the unfortunate baby girl.

The baby girl was the only real gift Tyler had ever given her. Everything else, including the orgasmic sex, felt like a purchase she'd made, particularly after she had looked at the bank accounts. She'd stolen from money painstakingly saved, money which should have gone to her boys, and given it to her lover. Tyler had taken and taken, all the while having her grateful for the opportunity she'd been given to be with him. She'd been defensive when Pete confronted her about the money. Her foolishness then astounded her now. Even if he hadn't meant to, Tyler had been a great con artist, bartering his physical perfection for money and the opportunity to bully and vent his own frustrations on those he perceived as being weaker than himself. She'd been conned and had been grateful to the con artist. And she'd enabled him. She was a facilitator in his torment of her husband.

****

"For better or for worse..."

Jess didn't hear much apart from those words which echoed in her brain. Taunting, tormenting. She'd definitely given Pete worse. The only good thing she'd given him, their two young boys, she'd almost taken away and given to Tyler. Shivering even now, years after the events, she berated herself for exposing her children to Tyler. Sure, Tyler hadn't been around too long. Andy and Petey had soon forgotten mom's friend who came around often when Dad was away. Still, there was an undeniable rift between the children and her, not least because she'd confessed her dissatisfaction with her married life to Tyler who in turn used it to humiliate and hurt Pete. Pete had looked absolutely gutted when Tyler coldly told him she was on the verge of dumping him in the years before and during their marriage when she'd discovered herself pregnant with her boys. And she hadn't even refuted Tyler. She'd excused her own cruelty with Pete's secret yearning to be hurt. She'd even been secretly gleeful that her bouts of unhappiness and resentment over the seven years of her marriage had been transferred to Pete in a way which hurt him but left her innocent. No blood on her hands. Yet, like Lady Macbeth, she'd discovered too late that committing unspeakable deeds had consequences. Consequences that went far beyond sleepless nights and the attempt to wash the guilt away.

It all came to a head that July evening. She was looking forward to Monday and the return of Pete and their boys. Conrad, her dad, who had moved in to take care of her in her final trimester, had popped out to get something for her and she was alone in the house. For the first time in a long while, she was alone with her thoughts. She'd caressed her bloated belly, feeling the exhaustion that came with pregnancy and the emotional exhaustion that came from the trauma of Tyler's abandonment. She'd been resentful of Pete's confrontation with Tyler. If she were honest, she still resented him at times. It was easier to blame Pete than to make herself see Tyler's true nature and confront her own foolishness. She could tell herself that if it hadn't been for Pete, Tyler would not have left and she'd have been enjoying the summer sunset with her baby daddy lover by her side. Of course, she hadn't bothered to consider the fact that Tyler might have spent all of her money, left her high and dry with a baby and no resources. Lust and love were blind.

Equally irrational was that tiny part of her that harboured the hope that Tyler was going to come back to her. Surely their love would bring him back. Jess at 39 scoffed at her 35-year-old naive self.

Oh, he came back all right. With that crazy girlfriend on his tail. Bringing destruction. Destruction that was stopped only through the intervention of Mark Draper, another victim of Tyler's callousness when it came to people's lives. Mark had long given up on his ex-wife Linda, who had been Jess' predecessor of sorts. Pete had used the threat of Mark hunting Tyler down to drive the cowardly muscle head away from the family home that Valentine's Day. It was a day she'd learnt aspects of love she'd never bothered to learn. The illusory side of love that clung to delusions and excused cowardice. Steadfast love that stood by an unfaithful, selfish slut who had betrayed her vows and family without a backward glance. Selfish love of self that vented its anger on the convenient target of a hapless betrayed spouse and indulged in grief for all she'd lost: lust, pride and the illusions of a woman afraid of age and life.

Shamefaced, she'd retreated from the world and shamelessly relied on the kindness of a spouse she'd chased from his own house. She'd clung to Pete earlier in the day partly out of some instinct that animals bearing their young seemed to have; the instinct to secure a source of support for the new child. Except in her case, it was clearly the child of her adulterous lover. She'd half expected Pete to throw her out on her cheating ass when her pregnancy was confirmed. After all she'd done, it was to be expected. That he'd allowed her to stay on and still have the chance to be with their boys was something that stunned her. It was this sign of basic goodness in him that allowed that long absent sense of respect for her husband to take root in her heart. With a sense of despairing shame, Jess realised she'd never really respected Pete.

Sure, he'd been a nice guy who had really tried to be the best husband and father. Yet, somewhere deep inside her, Jess had taken his love and devotion to her for granted and had secretly despised his accommodating character. He had been a giver and she'd taken without much consideration or care. Somehow, she'd sensed Pete's insecurity, his fear that she was too good for him and he was unworthy of her. And that became the basis of her disrespect for the man. She'd privately thought she was worthy of a far better man, a man who was more physically perfect, a man she could flaunt like some trophy in front of others. Why was she with this ordinary man, living this boring ordinary life? Surely she was worth more. When Pete shared his fantasies, she'd jumped at the chance to get out of the rut she'd found herself in. Of course, then Tyler came along and she thought her chance at living the life she'd been cheated out of by Fate and by Pete was finally in her grasp. She'd paid no heed to the damage her selfishness and behaviour would cause. She'd even allowed Tyler to demean and humiliate not just Pete but also their sons, referring to them as the product of the grapes Pete had squirted inside her. And that was the poor excuse of a bastard she'd thought loved her sons.

Still, when Tyler had roared up the driveway that July evening, Jess couldn't quash that tiny spark of hope inside her. The one that whooped triumphantly and shouted, 'I proved them all wrong! Tyler loves me! He's back for me and the baby!'

That spark died when Tyler stopped on the porch steps and said, "Baby, why didn't you have the sense not to sleep with Pete again? Why would you let him knock you up after us? I told you I'd be back! How could you let that pathetic loser use my pussy?"

As stunned as she was, Jess recognised this was an important moment. The filters lodged in her eyes that tinted her view of Tyler had fallen out. She was seeing the real Tyler for once. Not even his cowardly abandonment of her had really dislodged those filters. His behaviour now had the effect of the hard shake she'd needed. And the real view she had was not pretty. She saw a snivelling coward who bullied and took advantage of anyone vulnerable, but shied away from those who had the courage to confront him. Pete's courage when he ran Tyler off almost five months earlier should have made her see that. It was a pity how persistent her self-imposed blindness had been. She'd been rightly afraid for Pete's physical safety, but she should have also been worried about Tyler's frail cowardly self masquerading beneath that machismo that his physical bulk dissimulated.

When Tyler saw the indescribable mix of emotions that must have played across her face, he must have had an inkling of the difference in her attitude towards him. Still, the man didn't have the smarts to act differently. He'd been accustomed to being the dominant one, with Jess twisted around his little finger. Or more appropriately, around his large cock. Jess felt a wave of nausea almost overtake her which had nothing to do with pregnancy.

"You gotta get rid of this one. I mean I can tough it out with the two boys. But another one? You'll never get rid of Pete! And it's just not right for him to be around here. It's our house."

The disgust Jess felt for the guy she'd thought herself in love with just months earlier must have shown itself in her face. Still, Tyler pressed on.

"Even if it's for the sake of Petey and A-a-" Tyler stuttered as he struggled to recall the name of her other son.

"—Adam, isn't it? Yeah, even if it's for Adam and Petey's sake, you shouldn't allow Pete to come around. He's a bad role model. You don't want the boys to grow up to be the wimp that he is, right?"

"It's Andy."

Jess gritted her teeth and growled at the asshole that stood on her porch and denigrated the husband she'd helped him hurt. She snorted that bitter laugh that wouldn't be held back at the blank look plastered across the face of the asshole she couldn't believe she had given her marriage and life up for. What those few moments of interaction with that asshole constituted was a series of slaps delivered to the cringing egoistic Jess she harboured inside herself. The Jess she'd thought was worth so much more than Pete deserved, the Jess who had truly found her ideal mate: the bastard posturing in front of her.

"Andy is my son's name. This," Jess yelled as she pointed at her bloated belly. "This is your daughter. And you, you're not half the man Pete is! So get your worthless ass out of here!"

Her raised voice had brought Ashley and her mom out on their porch and they were watching with some interest as were some of her other neighbours. Jess surprised herself when she ignored the stares from the neighbours. She'd done far worse and she knew she deserved the embarrassment that rightly accompanied her deeds. The anger was twofold — she was angry at the bastard standing on her porch and she was even angrier at herself because she'd been the one who had thrown everything away for that worthless asshole.

Jess knew a moment of fear when she saw the anger light up in Tyler's eyes. He was violent when he got mad and now that she was alone, she'd to deal with the bully that he was. Then a sly look emerged on Tyler's face. He'd finally realised he was the father of the child she was carrying and Jess could almost see the rusty wheels of his mind turn.

"I don't know why you're defending that wimp, but since we have a child, you should keep Pete away. I won't tolerate my child being near that pathetic loser," Tyler commanded. "He can keep the boys, God knows, they're probably doomed to be losers like him anyway. We'll just keep the house and make sure Pete doesn't come near us. He probably won't dare to. He's lucky we're allowing him to keep the boys."

Jess wasn't sure if Tyler was high on something or if he was this deluded all the time. She gaped at him, acting like he was the boss dictating to an inferior subordinate.

Irony struck her with the force of a hurricane. Tyler was now acting like a superior being who deigned to hang around her. No, he allowed someone as unworthy as her to be in his presence, something she should be grateful for. The gratitude expected of her explained perfectly why he'd coolly accepted everything she'd offered up to him like tribute to an emperor; her reputation, her body and her money.