Moving On Ch. 05

The three sisters were at the head of the reception line for their grandmother's wake. Their Grandmother's journey was finally over. She was a 'tough old bird' as she used to say. It has been 2 years since Abby bombed the bitch, their egg donor...their waste of a birth mother. When anyone else was around, she was always referred to as Colleen. That was the best way to keep their fathers happy. It had been 11 years since she abandoned them. It's gotten easier over the years, but the hurt and the pain still remained for all three of them.

It was 8 PM and the funeral home was going to be open for viewing for another 15 minutes and then the parish priest was going to lead in prayers. Tomorrow, there was going to be a funeral mass at the church. There would be a procession to the cemetery then lunch at a restaurant.

Almost 200 people had walked through the reception line since 2 PM. Greeting that many people was starting to take its toll on the young women. They did take breaks and had quick bites of dinner. Dad 1 or Dad 2 or both were always with them the entire time. They both helped explain what the connection was with most of the people expressing their condolences.

What can you say about a woman who lost the memory of her family over 4 years ago? Her dementia was severe, but her final years were relatively happy, even though she was alone as her husband passed years ago. He was her caretaker until he was taken quickly. Alone, she was placed in a Memory Unit. There were no other options. It was lucky that while she didn't remember people, she was not an agitated patient. There were plenty of those at the facility.

Even though she was happy, it was still rough on the three sisters seeing their grandmother forget them. How can you see someone you love disappear before your eyes? All they were able to see was a hollow shell that only looked like their grandmother. It took time until they finally understood in their core that it had to be enough that grandma was at least happy most of the time. This woman had always been there for them, before and after their mother left them.

"Abigail, Amber, Amelia?", the funeral director quietly spoke to them. "We'd like to get started in a few minutes. The priest just arrived. Would any of you want to say a few words?" Abby answered for them all, "We're the only remaining blood relatives that grandma had. We'll leave that for our Dads in the eulogies tomorrow."

Greg was named secondary Power of Attorney and the second Executor for the family Trust by his ex-father-in-law. It happened in the year after Colleen left. Two years later he was named the secondary Medical Power of Attorney for both of them too. It made sense as he was trusted. Greg made sure that his children and his step-daughter were part of their grandparent's lives. He was also still living near them and was closer to his ex-in-laws than their missing daughter.

Father Carlos, a Mexican-American priest from west Texas was their pastor. It didn't matter that grandma was Baptist. All her grandchildren were raised as Catholic. Growing up, the granddaughters ended going to both kinds of churches. It took a bit, but Grandma somehow gave up her in-bred hatred of Catholics over the years. That started with the marriage of her daughter with Greg. It came front and center when she saw the support she saw flowing to both fathers of her granddaughters. That support also flowed to her too. The two different religious groups supported the entire broken extended family. Something good happened out of something bad.

It also helped that nobody talked about religion, converting, the one-true-church or any other of that other 'angels on the head of a pin' bullshit. Grandpa didn't 'give a rat's ass' about organized religion, but he never talked it down. He didn't care as long as nobody was abusing anyone else. If he felt somebody was 'pulling a fast one', as he put it, then the gloves came off and he was vocal as hell about the wrongs. It helped that he liked the Baptist Minister and Fr. Carlos too. That was not bad for a non-church going man.

Standing at the front of the room, Fr. Carlos called for a moment of silent prayer. Then he began with the sign of the cross. All the following prayers were lost on the three sisters. They each zoned out in their grief. Grief of losing their Grandmother now and their mother then. In times like this, everything bad thing was brought together. In times of emotional pain, their being abandoned always felt worse. Abby said that it was being hit with a switch or a light whip. It stung like hell but didn't kill you.

After the prayers ended, the room started emptying. It took 10 minutes but finally all the visitors were gone. Fr. Carlos spoke to them, "We will be having the Rev. Desk at the service tomorrow as you requested. It's the third time this month that we will have services together." He smiled at the three young women, "It'll be fine. I know that's what your Grandmother would have wanted." Reaching out, he clasped each of their hands in a warm double handed shake and said goodbye. Fr. Carlos watched them move to the side exit.

Instead of leaving immediately, the two dads brought the sisters to a side room. The day had been long and emotionally draining. They took a few minutes and started to go over the plans for tomorrow. While they were talking, they heard main door open. Everybody stopped talking when they saw Fr. Carlos walk back in.

Colleen was at his side.

She looked much older than expected. It was obvious that she had been crying. The 5 of them watched Colleen and the priest walked slowly to the casket. Looking at the casket, Fr. Carlos said to Colleen, "Why don't I leave you here with her. I'll go see the Funeral director and I'll be back later? We can talk then. OK?" He received a nod and he went to the office by the front doors.

Colleen looked at her mother and her eyes started to tear up. It took a couple of minutes before Colleen spoke. "Ma. It's me Colleen. It's been a year since I've seen you last. You can tell Dad that I said hi, but I was just talking to him before I came here.

"I'm sorry that I could never be the wonderful little girl you wanted me to me. I was always more wild, more loose, more anything. I just couldn't be that mom you always wanted me to be. Not for my girls, not even for a couple of other sons and daughters of the men I was with. It just wasn't anything I could do Ma. I always fucked it up."

The sisters were dumbfounded. They spend most of their lives trying to figure out what went wrong. Abby was going to say something, but her father Lyle got her attention, shaking his head no, then pointed back to Colleen.

"Yes, I keep hooking up with the good guys. Yes Ma, I keep breaking their hearts. But I did take your advice years ago when you screamed at me. I did have my tubes tied. It took me a few years to get to that point." At that point, she pulled a chair over to be next to the casket.

"Remember when I ambushed Daddy? He was going to throw me off the front porch? Well, the first time he did. I had to get the priest to talk with him." She wiped her nose with a tissue from her purse. "It took a couple of days for him to tell me about you. You were good enough that you still remembered me.

"That was the last time you really knew me. All the other times you were gone. Then Daddy was gone. But I'm doin' ok. Still finding good guys and I'm starting to spend less time with the losers.

"Two years ago that good one got me good. I really liked that Camry. I know I deserved it, but that's the way it goes. It's all good. I'm doing fine. Finding new friends every day.

"The latest guy really likes me. I think that I may get to move in with him soon. Still working at a Nursing home. Pays not great, but it's steady. Making enough, more than enough. Going to be the charge nurse on days next month. Big raise. Big money. I'm doing great.

"Fr. Carlos tells me that the girls are doing great. You were proud of them before, you'd be more proud of them now. I got great girls. I did a great thing to give them a great life with their great fathers. They'd just would of slowed me down. Yes, great girls, I'm just so proud of them."

"Yea Ma, I won't be seeing them. Got to stay away. I'll just look at them in the distance every couple of months. I know that if I hang around, it'll turn to shit. Easier to move on. That works for me." Fr. Carlos walked into the room and she jerked to his noise.

"Are you ready Colleen?"

"Sure I'm ready. All is good now. I'm doing great. Got places to go. Got to get back home." She turned back to her mother. Her daughters saw her mouth 'I love you ma' and she turned and quickly walked out the front door.

Ina daze, the fathers and the daughters walked into the parlor and sat down. The daughters were in shock, the fathers less so. Greg stated talking first. "There were things she said, that I knew in my heart. She could never, would never say to another person. Lyle and I stopped being angry with her when we realized that she could never be the mother you wanted. We knew she would never be the wife we wanted either."

He reached out his hands to the sisters, and Lyle joined in. "Your parents will never be the people you want them to be. They can only be the people that they are. Somehow Grandma gave you this gift about your mother. It was a gift from the grave. You all have felt shortchanged by her abandoning you. Maybe you can see now that maybe she saved you greater heartache?"

The sisters nodded yes. Amelia spoke up. "She's still dangerous Dad. She's still toxic. Isn't she?"

"Yes, I believe that she will continue to be emotionally dangerous to you all. Maybe in the future any of you may choose to get in contact with her. You'll have to be careful, but you may get a slightly different Colleen than the one 11 years ago, or even today. Life can either break down our craziness or make it bigger." At that they all hugged and went back home. Tomorrow was going to be a better day.