Mrs. Constance W...'s Letters 24

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Annabelle graduates from medical school.
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Part 24 of the 25 part series

Updated 06/08/2023
Created 09/18/2014
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Editor's note: The family of the writers of these letters discovered that I have begun publishing them and brought a suit to have them returned to them and sought punitive damages for injury to their family's reputation. After much litigation the court denied their petition on the grounds that the original sale was valid and all rights and privileges had been assigned to me, and that no stain had been attached to any living person's reputation from the publication of these letters. The restraining order preventing the publishing of any new material has been listed and I look forward to sharing the rest of these fascinating letters with you.

Editor's note: A grateful thank you to Witchkitty for her invaluable assistance in proofing and editing these documents.

118 King William Road

Richmond, Virginia

Monday

August 10, 1863


Dr. Jon K...

82 Piedmont Avenue NE

Atlanta, Georgia

Dear Doctor,

Sir, Your most obedient servant is pleased to inform you that her sister no longer requires her presence here in Richmond. Furthermore, she urges her most ardently to return to you with all dispatch. Good Dr. Silas has similarly released her from service in the hospital. There are no longer any encumbrances staying her departure.

Oh, most noble man! Call me home so that I might fly upon your summons. I long with all my heart to gaze upon your perfect countenance once again. Each day I see your face before me in reflection in windows as I walk the streets of Richmond; in the polished medical instruments at the hospital. Every night your visage prowls my dreams piercing my ethereal being with your penetrating gaze. I hear your voice directing my every action as if you stand right at my shoulder even now as you did in those first sweet days together.

This place holds no joy for me without you. The streets are dull and gray. The air is dry and stifling. War howls on the horizon. Please recall me from this horrid place.

And yet I am content. Your command gives me comfort. In every task I sense your purpose for me. Through even the most arduous and humiliating travail your perfect purpose for me embraces me. The knowledge that all I endure here is part of your perfect plan for me. Like armor it separates me from the dangers of this place. My heart trusts in your plan. Know, dear Sir, that your command is my comfort and strength. And I can continue through any adversity with but a word from you. Oh happy word that commands my heart and obedience!

In this I see some of your purpose for me. The Good Dr. Silas seemed anything but to me within short order. His proclivities bordered on the disturbingly perverse. His manner is such that I feared he meant me some harm. Each session proceeded from humiliation to humiliation. Some of the things he compelled me to perform were so obscene I was in dire circumstances. He risked both my reputation and health routinely until I thought I'd lose my self.

In a way I did do exactly that. When I abandoned hope that I would ever be free or even survive from one encounter to the next. A thought, a new awareness of identity revealed itself to me.

Between sessions as I trudged through the horror of the wards performing my duties by rote my mind discerned that I had endured what at first had seemed unendurable. And yet I had endured. No matter how painful his ministrations no lasting harm had truly been visited on my person. True, bruises and welts were frequently my lot. None, though, were ever visible. In a way I came to carry them with a sort of pride. When some painful place was inadvertently touched rather than a wince or cry a smile would grace my face. It would remind me that I had indeed endured. That I am strong in ways I never conceived of before. I know now that I am greater than my circumstance though no greater than the one that gives my life meaning and purpose.

And I perceived that each of the Good Dr.'s sessions concluded with a reward. Invariably, despite the pain and discomfiture I'd experience some bodily pleasure. Usually this would be in some strange manner. As my mind opened to the new awareness of self, I saw how the circumstance played to the reward. I came to understand that the pain in some mysterious way led to the pleasure. That it strengthened, increased or should I say heightened the experience of pleasure each time. Soon I realized that dread of the perversities I'd be subjected to wanes and a certain wary anticipation for the reward arises.

The knowledge came to me as I sat next to a poor soul laid low upon the field of honor. It seemed that two visions were before me. One was the mundane suffering of men that I am charged with relieving as it is in my power to do so. The other was of the previous day's debauchery. The memory came to be more real to me. I seemed to me to be watching myself yet felt the administration of each blow in my flesh even as I sat there. Each new welt tingled as my memory replayed the events. As the vision reached its crescendo my hand had of its own accord stolen between my legs.

I should have been filled with shame at such a gratuitous display. I wasn't. Instead I reflected that for some time I had been drifting in a sort of fugue between the real and the perverse each day. The interludes of sinful delight seemed more real somehow. My body even responded to the phantom provocations. Long before my self-awareness returned I reflected that I had been daily in a state of heightened arousal. My nipples were painfully stiff against the course seeming clothe of my inner garments. Long before my hand stroked my womanhood my thighs were sticky from the near continuous flow induced by my musings. The hard button beneath its hood ached in a most insistent way. As each moment passed my world shrank till there was only the need. The ravenous hunger aching for release if I'd only rub a little faster; slip my delicate finger in a little deeper. I was consumed.

Then a new thought entered my mind. Every salacious thing I had done was at the command of the learned physician. I could see how he had been training me for instant obedience. Obedience to one voice only, the voice of my only lord and master, your voice.

It would be so very simple to complete the act; simple to throw back my head and howl my pleasure to the rafters in complete disregard for the presence of the fallen around me. Simple to beat at my tenderest flesh until the frenzy had accomplished all its purpose. However, uninhibited gratification is not what he was training me for.

It seems so foolish of me to write what you already know because you planned it all. But I know now. I hope that pleases you, dear husband. So I shall write it out regardless. All the Doctor had allowed me to do was only upon command. No humiliation that I submitted to, no pleasure I had received and no release I had enjoyed had come without the word of command.

My hand stopped its feverish scratching. I forced my breathing back to normal. I sat up in the chair and very purposefully straightened my garments putting myself in order. I regained my composure. Heat still flushed my skin. Fire still raged in my loins. Wantonness coursed like molten gold beneath the surface. But abandon is not what I'd been taught. Oh no! Discipline, my love, was the object, perfect discipline.

Your goal through him is not an ordinary kind of discipline of lesser men. No, you want something grander. Others enslave themselves to social conventions and societal expectations. Always governed by their own sense of who is worthy of their loyalty, as if their meager efforts amounted to a thimble's worth of honor, as if their small minds could discern true allegiance. You want more for me. You always ever want for me the freedom that comes with total dependence upon the good that comes from the hand of another. In that moment of perfect clarity I saw the grand plan you have prepared for me. Good husband, I am yours completely!

I want only to obey you!

When Dr. Silas came for me the next morning I was prepared like never before. I knew that he had some sensual experience devised that would test my willingness to submit. Not to him, but to the plan you have for me. No longer was I some creature fearing the pain, nor some animal begging for the reward (though I will gladly beg on my belly for the least scrap from your hand, my Love), nor the dilatant eager to be debased. I was the eager servant anxious for the joy of serving you.

I also understood that through all the sessions I had been exposed in every way, but never had I been violated. None had coupled with me, as you surely know. This truth finally presented itself to my mind. So I was prepared to undertake whatever degradation Dr. Silas had in store for me.

He brought with him a young man's clothes for my attire. As usual he forbade me to wear any womanly undergarment as I dressed in full view of the man, no longer ashamed. With a course felt hat pulled low over my ears concealing my chestnut tresses we departed my apartments.

His chase deposited us at the threshold of the college of internal medicine. The good Dr. frequently lectures there in addition to his usual duties at the hospital. There is great urgency to turn out new surgeons to meet the burgeoning need. With my new insight it was the space of but a moment to discern his purpose in bringing me here. I was to be discovered in the sanctum of male knowledge forbidden to women. In light of my competence in the healing arts this seems a reasonable scenario. He ushered me to a seat high in the gallery designed surely to heighten the anxiety of discovery.

In due course the others filed in taking seats around the operating theatre. Presently the Professor of the day entered. He is a man of great bearing and little understanding. That days lecture would be the only one dedicated to, "the inferior female form." He began with a litany of the foibles of the unbalanced female mind. His assertion being that the abundance of womanly ills is the result of hallucination and fancy. To my mind he began at the absurd and progressed to the ludicrous.

I knew that soon I must be exposed as a pretender. The anticipation was delicious. My new mind observed all as if from above while my body experienced all the desired titillation.

The student physicians, some twenty persons in all, attended to every word diligently. When it seemed to me he could not invent any further absurdity about women he called for his assistant. The baud he had retained for demonstration purposes was, to be generous, well-seasoned. He then proceeded to indicate the salient features for the medical mind progressively exposing more tantalizing views. He indicated and exposed each part as he explained its purpose and function. Pure fantasy it was. When he began calling for audience input I saw how my discovery would be enacted. And presently he indeed singled me out. Having no idea what he thought was the right answer I was at a loss how to respond. I shook my head hoping he'd choose another knowing that my voice alone would ruin the disguise. I knew also that he would not choose another. That was not the plan. I noticed that Dr. Silas had slipped away while my attention was diverted.

Frustrated by my lack of response the gentleman beckoned me to descend to the dais. The baud was now seated on a peculiar table with two props for legs forming a V toward the torso. Much of her clothing was already gone with ample portions of her pulchritudinous form exposed including one breast and teat. As I approached I could see that she was already in the throes of arousal. The old surgeon again demanded a response as he gestured with his pointer toward the woman, nearly penetrating to the woman's vagina, much to her disappointment. Still at a loss I held my tongue and kept my gaze averted.

To no avail! He whipped the pointer at my head deftly removing my cap. The moment had arrived. My new found perspective no proof against the fear of what would come next even though I was certain that I would be chastened, humiliated, exposed and used. I trembled in anticipation. Bellowing his indignation he tore my coat from my shoulders. He took me by the collar and thrust my face between the harlot's spread thighs. The purpose to the table's design instantly became clear to me. He pushed my face entirely into her now exposed vagina. She was truly aroused. My nose split the loose folds of her opening. She had a sickening un-bathed aroma. It filled my nostrils. I gagged and huffed trying to breathe only to ingest some of her juicing flow.

Vowing to teach me what I had attempted to steal through deception he forced me on my stomach over another table that I had taken scarce note of. I will endeavor to describe to you these two peculiar tables, though, no doubt you know all about them already. The one upon which the strumpet lay was inclined with the aforementioned props for her legs. This allowed her to be approached directly on a level with a man's waist. The obvious benefit was she did not need to hold her legs up or otherwise exert herself in the performance of her craft. The wanton looked on in eager anticipation, I'm sure, as this would certainly be the most leisurely roll she'd ever experience.

My table was something more sinister. The center was a padded board that he pressed me face down on, then restraining me with buckling straps under the arms and around the waist. My breasts were painfully crushed flat against my chest when he cinched the straps. Next my legs were strapped in a bent posture to supports that similarly separated my legs. I realized that if not for my trousers I would be exposed much as the baud had been. Imagine that I am seated at the table and then tip the chair forward till I face the floor. That is the position I found myself in.

With the long wooden pointer the Doctor began beating my bottom. Stinging tears leapt immediately from my eyes. I screamed with each sharp blow. Then I heard another sound. The interns were jeering at my plight. My cheeks flamed at the humiliation. They laughed and applauded as each vicious blow landed. The pain was intense. I squirmed too no avail. I was securely bound to the table. With a sharp crack the stick broke and the beating stopped. I had been so tense that I slumped in the restraints in relief.

But the relief was short lived. The doctor called the students down to assist him with my chastisement. Under his guidance they cut away the seat of my pants exposing my nether parts. More laughter followed as my, no doubt, flaming derriere came into view. And not just my flanks, but my tenderest flesh also. They then took turns lashing my undefended rear.

At first they used straps which I later learned were their belts. Eventually they resorted to striking with their hands. With actually touching came exploration. I soon found that the blows became less severe while the groping and fingering of my sex increased. My already inflamed womanhood responded immediately. I found myself struggling to push my heated fanny against their offending digits to no avail. I was securely bound. No amount of wiggling my arse could induce these fellows to plunge any part into my feverish hole. I wept even more at the sweet frustration.

The professor ordered me to silence, but I would not comply. I wept and begged for them to grant me some measure of release. He directed his students to gag me. I went to protest and as I opened my mouth to object a young man thrust himself passed my lips. I now knew where the belts had come from.

My surprise lasted but a moment. Here was an activity I was much used to. I fell to slurping at his swollen member eagerly. This new humiliation was accompanied by even more verbal degradation. They called me names most foul, always laughing as they did so. I was past caring. I knew that soon I would be partaking of that thick pearly cream that is man's most joyous gift to women.

This continued apace. Hands slapped at my arse and occasionally my cheeks. Prick after prick entered my mouth. Some stood still for me to work at their stiffness which was hard to do restrained as I was. Others thrust themselves at my face. I gagged and choked repeatedly. This brought renewed laughter and taunts, though they only served to stoke my enthusiasm. My arms were also bound, though with my elbows bent. The purpose for this soon became clear. Two hard shafts found their way into my grip and as I gulped at one I stroked the others.

My view of the operating theatre was understandably limited. But I as I became inured to the abuse I heard the baud demanding her own pleasure. I am certain of this as shortly the penises forced upon me were sticky with fluid. Some merely had the vaginal lubricant smeared along their shaft. Others, though, came with the tangy mixture of semen and vagina. I was beyond caring. As yet I had not tasted my own longed for reward.

The sensations became overpowering. Sweat coursed from my body. My remaining cloths became soaked. I stopped begging for release and began demanding that they deliver to me the product of their lust. I became insistent. You no doubt would be appalled at my unladylike language. I could not help myself. I became the very slattern that they called me. I did not care. I had to have that delicious cum.

Turn after turn these young men took at me. In-between they fornicated with the whore before returning to me to be re-invigorated. I lost all sense of time. The room retreated till there was only the cock in my mouth, then the next. And always the laughter.

I was taken completely by surprise when the first finally exploded in my mouth. He grabbed my head and pushed his prick to the back of my throat as he released. His thick semen choked me. It erupted from my lips around his manhood. When he withdrew I sputtered and coughed spilling his seed on the floor. I was rewarded with renewed blows at my rear. I was beyond reason. I demanded more.

Soon prick after prick emptied into my gullet. I swallowed franticly. What could not be swallowed ran down my chin. Others shot their loads at my face as I pulled at their hard rods. And still I wanted more. But they had been at me and the whore for a remarkable time and even their youthful strength waned.

I bucked and fought against the harness holding me tight. It was not fair. They had each enjoyed the unrestrained pleasures of the flesh over and over again. Their satisfaction dripped from my chin and yet I had not climaxed even once. My mind was on fire, my loins likewise. Reason left me. Still they laughed at me. When they joked that I am insatiable I heartily agreed and begged for more. And more I got.

The devious device that held me was on wheels. They pushed me toward the now languid doxy. The two tables met perfectly. My face was pressed firmly between her sticky fluid smeared thighs and once again against her sex. This time her well used hole was filled to overflowing with semen. The folds of her vagina hung loose and open. White cream oozed from the gaping orifice.

This time the foul aroma held no disgust for me. Eagerly my tongue slithered into her seething opening. I lapped at her like a dog. The admixture of cum and vagina became a sweet libation for me. As far down as I could stretch my tongue in the cleft of her arse I licked from her bung hole to her womanly bud. My vigorous attack at her sodden gash soon had her writhing in ecstasy. I delighted inwardly at the pleasure I was now giving to this woman.

This was not all though. As I began working at the womanly feast before me a hand glided gently across my own exposed buttocks coming to rest cupping my mound. The tender touch was so out of keeping with all that had gone before my body trembled uncontrollably. Then it began patting lightly at my swollen flesh. A thick finger struck again and again at my womanly hardness. Steady, constant and unhurried he drummed on my womanhood. Instantly I was transported to the very edge of unendurable joy, but no further. I hung there on the edge of fulfillment. Tears streamed down my cheeks mixing their salty tang with the sex fluid I was consuming.

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