Muses Ch. 01

Chapter 1: We're here to help

"Hey Karen, you there?" I asked as I stared at the blank computer screen. My writer's block was getting the best of me again. Nobody was really talking to me at the moment. It might have been the stress of my business going downhill or just a lack of inspiration but I wasn't able to get words to appear on the screen. Well maybe a paragraph or two. Somewhere in my mind there was a room filled with armed men fighting off cyborg dinosaurs. Except they weren't fighting, they were just all standing around. They may as well have been sharing a cup of tea. In another corner of my mind an elfin princess was going to be enjoyed by the orcish army that had crushed her kingdom. There were a couple other pairings that were silently sitting around waiting for my commands so they could live their lives. I knew what I wanted from them all but I couldn't quite manage to communicate it. The end result was instead of suffering at the hands of the orcs just once Gabriella had relived the same day at least four times. Once it had been wolf creatures that went first, other times the orcs defiled her with food. Once they just got frustrated and ripped her head off and played catch for a while. The point is they were doing lots of things but nothing that really entertained me.

"Yes I'm here, well whatever here is." My muse joked as she walked into a blank universe. I wasn't even sure what she was standing on, there didn't seem to be any floor but she wasn't floating or flying either. She was definitely standing and more than a little annoyed by the look on her face. "C'mon give me something to work with I hate being in this blankness, it creeps me out."

"Sorry about that babe." Karen walked out of her bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head. A few stray reddish curls escaped to frame her face. Other than that she was nude. She didn't need to wear clothing, it was her house and it made her feel free and sexy to strut around naked when she could. Her bed was wrapped in red satin sheets, not that they could be seen through the army of teddy bears scattered across it. Sunlight filtered into the room through her drapes seeming to point at her black night stand where her telephone sat next to an obnoxious Garfield alarm clock and her dildo, Speedy.

Karen looked around at her surroundings and smirked raising a brow in question. "Okay we both know I don't make enough money for satin sheets so who's house is this anyway?" She plopped herself down on the bed still not particularly minding that she was nude and I was staring at her pierced nipples. She was wearing star shaped nipple shields that glistened slightly in the light. "And you can stop staring at me. I know you love me, but really you're talking to me like I'm a person because you're having some kind of problem so let's see if we can solve your problem."

"I'm not having a problem. I'm setting a scene, you're a hooker now." I reply. I really hate it when she starts getting insightful and snippy. She can utterly derail a story if she's not in the mood to do what I want. I can't really make her do anything, I ask and she's often kind enough to work with whatever I give her. That's why I love her so much, she's only girl I know that I can ask her to seduce her father and twenty minutes later she'll have her father's drawers around his ankles and his cock lodged in her throat. If I tell her that I want to feed her to a tentacle monster her only request is that I send one of her ex friends in with her. Most of my girls won't do half the shit that Karen will. The only thing she's consistently refused me on is an anal gangbang of her male relatives at her wedding.

"Lies. But if you don't want to talk about it there is nothing I can do to make you talk about it. Well there is one thing that usually works on you but I don't want to be mean." Obviously she was lying because she split her legs lewdly, wet her fingers and started fingering herself. "Oh Sean I wish this was you. I wish it was your fingers in my tight cunt. Won't you please come in here and play with me? Won't you fuck me? I know you want to cum. You want to spray my pretty black face with your hot white cum. You want to smear it all over me don't you?"

I appeared in the room standing over her. I was already nude cock in hand but I wasn't moving. Avatars are never perfect; it's not like the real thing. I guess it's good that I wasn't really there and that it was a lifeless shell standing over her. "Well you can't. Cus I don't give pussy to pussies who can't even talk about their problems to their muses. I won't do it." She reached down and wrapped the satin sheets around her. I'm not really sure if she succeeded in her goal. She was trying to cover up and let me the hardon she knew she'd created go away. The thing was the satin sheets clung to her frame and something about a woman with wrapped in the thinnest of fabrics is exciting. I knew she was still nude beneath the sheets.

"Come on, that's not even cool. That's fucking bullshit." Karen looked up at me angrily. For a figment of my imagination she sure has a way of getting what she wants out of me. "You know what happened anyway. I mean Nikki went to jail, you already know why and I don't want to discuss it."

"It wasn't your fault you know. Not really." Karen said and offered a half smile. "You were her best friend, you are her best friend but there was no way you could have known how bad things were. She didn't even know, her fiancée didn't know, her husband didn't know. Kitten didn't know." Kitten was . . . it's confusing to explain in this format. For years she was my muse, she's the flesh and blood woman who gave birth to Karen before Karen developed enough of her own personality to be a muse in her own right. Karen almost never mentioned Kitten; it was just weird to hear and threw me off a bit.

"I should have known though. I should have done something different. I mean . . . she'd been my friend for twelve years and she'd finally made time to come down to California to be with me in the flesh. Maybe if I'd satisfied her she would have let off some steam and. .you know?" It's amazing how people can blame themselves for things that aren't their faults. This wasn't my fault and rationally I understood, I mean understand if I'm being honest, but emotionally it's hard to wrap your mind around.

"No Sean, you were perfect. It was me who fucked up." Nikki my mocha colored Minx hobbled into the room wearing a bright orange jump suit. Her legs were shackled just over shoulder length apart and her hands were cuffed to a chain around her waist. "I should have asked for help, I shouldn't have been a bitch when I was in town. I mean you could have tried another move or two-"

"Whoa, you head butted me when I touched you and then the next day you bit my head off for showing up early, then screamed up onside and down the other because I went to sit in my car while you went shopping. You wouldn't even drink with me! Oh wait remember when you were telling me about how much more of a man your fiancée is than me?" I angrily growled.

"Of course I remember, you remember." She sat down on the bed. "I already told you it was my fault and I regret that weekend, if I could go back in time and fix it I would. Granted it wouldn't be the first thing I would fix if I could go back in time but it's high on my list probably about third or fourth." She sat down next to Karen who immediately leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Hi Karen."

In my head Karen and Nikki spend a lot of time together. A fair bit of the fantasies floating around my head involve the two of them sharing sloppy kisses over my cock, or sixty nining while I go from one hole to the next on the pair.

"Sorry not happening today bud." Karen responded reading my mind. She leaned over and pulled a hairpin from her dresser and started picking the locks on Nikki. It took her nearly a minute but she got all of the locks to open but she did.

As soon as the cuffs were removed Nikki stripped off the orange jumpsuit and threw it someplace. I don't know where it landed even though the room isn't big enough to miss a bright orange anything. "I hate that thing. Don't you prefer me like this?" She was nude and kneeling with her legs spread open. There was a tattoo on her hip that read 'Minx' and it was framed with cherries. A leather collar had appeared around her neck. "Don't you prefer me like this Master?"

Of course I did and she knew it. The hardon that Karen had started twitched back to life annoying me as it strained uncomfortably against its denim prison. I have enough privacy at work that I can have it out with my characters but not enough that I can just let the little guy out for some air no matter how much he threatened to tear through my jeans. It was a hollow threat anyway and if not . . . shit I'd be proud of myself. Or ashamed of how cheap my clothes were. Anyway I couldn't do anything about it right then so I didn't really want wood.

"You should taste my brand. It's pussy flavored." She teased shaking her hip at me. "What happened to me wasn't your fault and some good has come of it. We finally told each other how much we love each other. We don't talk everyday and you don't get stupid emails from me everyday. You really hate those things don't you?" I nodded. "People send them to you because they love you."

"Bullshit, people send them to you because you got onto their mailing list. Half the time the people aren't even smart enough to CC the mail instead of just sending it to everybody under the fucking sun." I replied looking around the room. I was trying to see the house around the room but it seemed to exist in a void. There wasn't anything but the room and the bathroom connected to it. They'd be screwed if they needed something to eat.

"We've got each other." Nikki teased and elbowed Karen who just rolled her eyes. "If that's what's bothering you then you need to let it go. I hope that doesn't end out friendship, but if constantly writing me is just reminding you of your guilt then let me go too. Everybody has already abandoned me and I deserve it for what I did." Tears flooded her eyes as she remembered why she was in jail, not that she'd ever truly forgotten. She would never forget that horrible moment. "You've got to live your own life."

"She's right about that, the two of us will kill you eventually if you keep this up for too long. You're strong but you're not invincible." Karen added and rested her hand on Nikki's shoulder calming the other woman. "Is that all that's bothering you?"

"You know it's not." Both women looked at me expectantly. "You got married! I mean she got married. You know what I mean. You know it wouldn't be a problem if I thought you loved him, if just once you'd say you loved him and sound like you meant it I wouldn't be upset. I want her, you happy. I want her to be happy but I don't think she is. It was probably two weeks after she got married that she first mentioned to me that she was thinking about just ending the entire thing because she couldn't deal with him anymore. Two fucking weeks. I mean sure part of it is that they are in debt and might lose their apartment and shit but really two weeks? She's not even smiling in most of her wedding photos. Not real smile, she has a smile like yours. When she smiled it's like the sun rising. The smiles from the wedding are dull flashlights."

"Yeah I did get married. That's not your fault either. It wasn't to hurt you though. I know in your selfish little heart you think that the world revolves around you but it doesn't. This was about her. She can't be alone, she's afraid to be alone. You kept her safe for years, you still do but you were starting to grow distant from her."

"She was driving me insane! I love her but that woman finds ways to be upset. She's the girl who goes to Carealot Castle and then gets pissy when she finds out her princess is in another castle!"

Karen pursed her lips and looked down at the floor halfway between amused and upset. "I'm not saying you didn't have a reason. I'm saying she felt like she was alone and that wasn't acceptable. I've no idea why an eighteen year old boy would want to get married but she said yes because she didn't want to risk being alone. It wasn't about you, not really. And it's not your fault."

"Do you think-"

"I honestly don't know Sean. I know you're a coward for not at least trying."

"In real life nobody actually goes to a wedding and screams I object to this marriage and pours their heart out. It happens in movies. Just like in real life no guy delivers a pizza to a dorm room filled with teen girls having a pillow fight who want to know if eighteen year old pussy covers the pizza since they left their wallets in the pants which they can't seem to find." I looked away from the screen where the two of them were sitting and judging me.

"What's the worst that could have happened? They would have had you thrown out."

"And she'd never speak to me again."

"She hardly speaks to you know Sean. You might as well answer the phone "how much do you need and when do you need it by" when she calls. You know she's not calling to make a social call. She's calling cus you're a sucker. If she needs help you can't help but help her because that's who you are. Especially with the people you love, you'll swim through shark infested water wearing bacon Speedos if someone you love needs it and she knows it. Besides what if she did say no? What if it was exactly like in the movies where she would look at him one last time and realize he wasn't the one she truly loved? What if she was waiting for you to do something dramatic to prove that she was worth something to you? Worth taking the risk for? I mean we both know her dad wouldn't really bury you. He loves you and so does her family."

"I thought you were supposed to me making me feel better. Aren't you supposed to be making me feel better about myself?"

"Sadly no. I'm here so that you can actually get all this out and realize it's not your fault. Sure there are things you could have done to prevent some of these things from happening. Each of us made our own choices though and if they don't work out we're the ones to blame not you." Karen said.

"Yeah I know."

"Well act like you know." Nikki said leaning back against the bed which had stretched from its original queen size to something absurd, it was like a wrestling ring now. "What are you always telling Kitten when you don't help her?"

"Thatyou'vegottahelpyourselfirst." I mumbled the entire phrase under my breath and in one garbled blob. Obviously it wasn't sufficient for the girls since Nikki crawled into the bed and wrapped a thick blanket around herself. "That you've got to help yourself first. I'm no good to anybody if I'm hurt."

"Right so how do you expect to help us with our emotional problems if you're having your own? You have to get over it. I want you in my life, yes I do, but I need you at the top of your game right now. I'm in fucking jail. I get up at seven in the morning to eat powdered eggs and burnt toast. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night because my bunkie is taking a shit. In just over a month it will have been a year since I've seen my children. I need an anchor in this storm, I need something to get me through and if it's going to be you then do it. I love you and when you say we'll get through this I believe you. You're the only person that makes me believe that I'll be okay when this is all over. I know I'm starting to wear on you emotionally but you have outlets, you have things you can do. I know I'm using you to channel all this agony out. You're not in here; you don't really understand how miserably jail is. I can tell you in letter after letter but I can't make you understand this place of wrath and tears. Yes I read Invictus, I read it like a prayer when I first wake up and when I go to sleep. First and last every day, just like you told me to. This is the place he spoke of. This is the Agony and not enough people have any avenue to let it out so it just builds in this place. It builds until we start turning on each other. If you're going to add your own agony to this place then please just go. I can't take it and nobody in here needs it. We need whatever sunshine you can cram in here because that's what keeps us alive and keeps us from killing each other."

"I know."

"Then why is my letter still sitting on your printer after a week? You can tell me whatever excuses you want about how you forgot this or forgot that but the truth is you don't care. You care about me but you don't care about the letter because you're starting to slip. You're what's keeping me here, you. So go home right now. I can see the fucking clock on your busted ass computer. So I want you to get in your ugly car."

"My car is not ugly. You keep talking shit about Talia and see what happens." I snarled.

"Your car is fugly. Fuckin' ugly. Shit you tried to cover up the chipped paint with spray paint."

"And it worked just fine! It was the exact right color and you had to be pretty much on top of it to see that something was wrong!"

"Stop arguing. Get in your ugly car, drive it home put a stamp on an envelope and send that shit to me. I need it. I need something from the outside. If you can't keep your promise of a letter every week fine. Tell me that it's too much and you can't handle it and walk away, or tell me you'll write when you can find the time. But don't keep bullshitting me. It hurts too much to hope and not get anything."

"Okay, I will. I'm leaving right now. But I'll be back. I mean I didn't even get any sex out of either of you! Or any stories either of you seems willing to work on with me!"

"Are you really going to say in the office for an extra hour waiting for us to share our secrets? Or are you going to go home and play Left 4 Dead? We both know you should be hurrying back here to work with us; maybe we're ready to talk to you now. I think Karen got her point about you should have tried harder out and I've said all I can say about where I am. So go." Nikki said almost too sweetly.

"Fine I'm going."

"Wait!" Karen shouted.

"What?"

"Don't forget to get the cash out of the cash register. People get cranky when you haven't cashed their checks. Besides it makes them more likely to bounce." Karen said.

"Did I give you permission to use the page of the calendar for a paper airplane? Save this file and go home. Me and Karen have lot to talk to you about in when you get home. If there's vodka at home take a shot for me!" Nikki said.