My Cousin, My First Time, and More

We live just outside of Chicago - I have been married for 7 years and have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. My friends and I were talking about our "first time" over the weekend for some reason, and I always tell the story of my boyfriend and what it was like. What they don't know, and only my husband knows, was that I lost my virginity to my cousin. I was 18 and at a family wedding. I was seeing a guy at the time, but for some reason he could not attend the wedding with me. He and I had come close to going all the way, but we were waiting for that special moment.

Anyhow, my cousin Paul was 24 and all the girls in town had a crush on him. He was, and still is, very handsome. Even though I was only 18, he was sneaking me drinks at the wedding, and I was more than happy to accept them. It was kind of fun that despite all these older girls around, he was paying attention to me.

At one point - he was talking about his new car and asked if I wanted to see it. I needed to take a break from the crowd and the fresh air sounded good, so I went with him to see the car. Of course we ended up sitting inside it and we were talking, then he leaned in to kiss me. A at first it was a "what are you doing?!" reaction, but I soon found myself kissing back. In my mind, he was not my cousin, he was this gorgeous guy making out with me despite all the older girls that wanted to be with him. I don't even remember the top of my dress being pulled down, or how it got that way, but soon he was sucking on my breasts. It felt so good. He took my hand and put in on his crotch, and I could feel right away that he had more there than my boyfriend did. It was not until he unzipped himself that I knew what was going to happen. I willingly pulled my dress up for him so he could get my panties off, and we got into this position where I was kind of angled against the passenger door and he climbed on top of me. I remember him trying so hard to push inside me, first an inch, then a couple inches...it hurt, but my body eventually got it all the way in.

It was not romantic, it was not passionate - it was Paul pushing in and out slowly until he came. I remember looking around the car, as my virginity was being taken, and thinking that this is not what it was supposed to be like at ALL. After he was done the only thing he said was "make sure you don't tell anyone what we did". He even left the car ahead of me to make it look good, so he said. Paul ignored me the rest of the wedding, and danced and left with some girl who was just out of college. Nice.

My husband is the only one who knows what my first time really was like and who it was with. He always thinks it's odd to have beers with Paul at any family get together knowing that he is the guy who had sex with me first.

What my husband does NOT know...is what happened at a family wedding 3 years ago. Our daughter was not even a year old, and she was sick the day of the wedding. Since it was on my family's side, my husband agreed to stay home with her.

The wedding was a lot of fun, and at one point Paul came over to talk to me. We have never, ever discussed what happened when I was 18 - I think we both just wanted to pretend it never happened. All of a sudden he said "do you want to see my new car?"...and gave me a look. At first I could not believe he said that, but for some reason I decided to play along. Within minutes we were leaving to go outside, but he ended up walking to the hotel attached to the banquet hall where he said he had a room.

Why I followed him to his room I will never know, but once we were there he had my clothes off in no time. I remembered how big his cock looked when I was 18 and in his car - and my memory was spot on. He is enormous.

I had such flashbacks when he was busy sucking my tits, but things were so much more comfortable now that we were laying on a bed. He slid inside me so easy this time, mostly because I was older and had a child, but also because my body wanted it so bad. I must have told him a dozen times how much bigger he is than my husband as we had sex. For some reason those words kept coming out of my mouth every time I had an orgasm.

We never kissed (kissing my cousin just sounds gross now, although at 18 it did not matter) - it was just screwing. All over the hotel room, all kinds of positions. He came inside me twice before I told him that I simply could not go any more. Before he got dressed, I gave his cock a few loving kisses goodbye. We joked as I kissed it about when the next family wedding will be. It was kind of ironic, but this time it was ME who said that we can never let anyone know what we just did.

Of course now Paul has his own secret when he has drinks with my husband when my family is around. Not only is he is the guy who took my virginity - he is also the only guy who I have cheated with.

I am not proud for cheating, I feel guilty every day - but for some reason because I did it with Paul, it seems less wrong. I do find myself wondering when the next wedding will be - and what could happen.