My Daughter, My Life

Not a lot of sex but there is some. I need to thank my editors, LadyCibelle and Techsan for making my story a much better read. I also need to thank Jake Rivers for his input.

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Why don't people understand how much cheating tears a family apart? Day after day, week after week, the paper is always filled with divorce notices and dissolution of marriages. I should talk; I've been married twice and divorced once and am now a widower. Let me tell you my story.

I guess I could say I got married too early the first time. Hell, I was only a teenager. My girlfriend and I played around with unsafe sex and of course she got knocked up. We thought we loved each other and got married. Our son was born and life looked pretty good. After a while the grind of married life, which I wasn't ready for, started happening.

Bills and more bills, her mom telling me I wasn't good enough for her daughter, that Mary could have found someone better. She was always coming between my wife and me. I'll agree I wasn't the greatest catch but she sure wasn't helping us much by tearing me down.

I was a high school dropout and ended up working in a warehouse, moving furniture. At least we got a discount on all the furniture we bought. I worked a lot but missed doing the things teenage kids do. I'm not feeling sorry for myself here. I made my bed and now had to sleep in it. I'm just trying to paint a picture of our situation at the time.

Mary didn't use birth control and got pregnant with our second child. Her mother berated me for getting her daughter pregnant a second time, like it was all my fault, Mary could do no wrong. Nine months later we had our second son.

We lived in a trailer park, which was all we could afford. We were even renting the trailer. I didn't consider us what some people call trailer trash. We were a young couple trying to make their way in life. Unfortunately, we didn't succeed.

I forgot to mention that Mary's parents were well off. Not rich but they had enough money to live comfortably. They helped buy a lot of the things we needed for the kids. They also bought things for Mary. They wouldn't help us out financially. I knew her mom was working against me hoping our marriage would fail. Sex was the only thing holding it together and little by little we were doing less of that.

One day I had had enough. I turned twenty one and went to the bar. I got drunk and got in my car. I was arrested for driving while intoxicated. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I lost my job and Mary's mother convinced her to divorce me.

Life didn't go very well for me for a while after that. I moped around and kept drinking. I picked up a few bucks here and there doing odd jobs. My wife took the kids and moved back home with her mother. Every time I called their house, I got hung up on. One night after getting drunk I went over to their house and raised hell. I'll admit I was a total idiot and threatened her parents. I was arrested again and a restraining order was issued. Now I wasn't even allowed to see my sons.

In the months and years that followed they turned the boys against me. As they were growing up they were told that I was a bad person and to stay away from me. I got even by not paying any child support; not a smart move on my part but that's what I did, or didn't do in this case.

About two years later Mary got remarried to some guy that worked in her dad's office. I got a call one day from Mary's attorney asking me to relinquish my rights to the boys and they would stop the proceeding against me for back child support. It seems that Mr. 'New Husband' wanted to adopt my boys.

It didn't leave me with much choice so I signed the damn paper giving up my legal rights to the boys. It wasn't like I was a good father or anything, but I lost my sons which were a part of me. I went on another drinking binge.

The only person that stood beside me was my sister Kate. She was two years older than me, married with two kids. She convinced me to seek help for my drinking and I did. It was really odd that I was drinking more out of boredom and depression than being an alcoholic. I drank to forget about my life. After going to counseling I decided to turn my life around and went back to school and got my GED. I then took up a trade as a mechanic. I studied hard and found a job in a car dealership repairing vehicles. I found that I liked the feeling of accomplishment and I was good at repairing vehicles. I started saving money to open my own vehicle repair shop.

After a few years of saving money and learning more of my trade I was ready to take the next step. There was a local gas station for sale and I put down my down payment and started my own business. The hours were long but I loved working with my hands and I was becoming successful.

Throughout the next few years I dated a few women but nothing serious. I even saw my boys as they were becoming teenagers. Strong healthy boys and they seemed pretty smart too. I kind of followed their lives without intruding on their privacy. I saw Mary a few times but never spoke much to her. She had a new life with her husband and I noticed she was pregnant and later she had a daughter.

From then on my life was that of a confirmed bachelor. I dated but didn't want to get involved anymore. I just wasn't all that good with relationships. My business was my life. I hired a couple of good mechanics and it freed up a lot of my time. I could pretty much come and go when I wanted.

I did go to my sons' graduations. Even though they hardly knew me, I was proud of them. They both were headed for college. I guess I made the right choice for their well-being. It did bring a bit of sadness to me. It's hard to explain but I guess they will always be a part of me. As they say, "Life goes on." I always wondered who 'they' are since they say a lot of things.

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One night, when the shop was near closing, a car pulled up. It was an old car making a lot of noise. "Can you fix this?" the woman asked me, looking really concerned.

"Probably, but I'm about to close. If you want to leave it here I'll look at it tomorrow."

"Can I use your phone? My daughter and I need to get home and I have to try to find a ride."

I looked in the car and a sweet girl maybe six years old was sitting there looking a bit scared. "Come inside, the phone isn't a portable. I'll continue closing up while you locate your ride."

She thanked me and started making calls. She was beginning to look flustered. I figured she wasn't having much luck locating a ride.

"Where do you live?" I asked her.

"About eight miles down the road on Rose Lane. We moved there about a month ago," she answered.

"If you aren't too scared of strangers, I can drop you and your daughter off at your house. I'll only be a few more minutes."

"That would be great; I don't want to inconvenience you."

"No problem, just going out for dinner and then back home."

"I'm Kara and this is my daughter, Amy. We moved here from West Virginia last month. I work at the department store and of course Amy is in the first grade." The little girl looked at me and smiled.

"I guess you must have figured out I'm Brad since it says so on my shirt," I laughed. "I'll take a look at your car tomorrow and give you a call and let you know what the problem is."

She thanked me for dropping them off at their house. Amy thanked me also; she was a cute little girl. I finally got a good look at Kara. Probably twenty-six, twelve years my junior. Nice figure and she had a good personality. She never did mention a husband. Maybe I'd ask her out. I had nothing to lose.

The next day I looked at her vehicle. It was low on oil and needed a tune-up. I gave Kara a call and she told me to go ahead and fix it. I let her know it would be in the neighborhood of a hundred and twenty five dollars.

"Will you be able to get it done this morning so I can have it for work this afternoon?" she asked.

"I can drop it off about noon if you will bring me back to the shop; my guys will be here to watch the garage."

"Sounds great. See you around noon."

I pulled up and she seemed happy to have her car back. I thought I would ask her out for lunch. Like I said, I had nothing to lose, but first I better make sure there wasn't a husband in the picture.

"Where does you husband work?" I saw no reason to beat around the bush.

She looked at me and said, "There isn't a husband now. I'm divorced and Amy and I moved here to try to start over." She looked rather sad.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. It's just that I have a special today for lovely unattached women who get their car repaired."

"And what might this special be?" she asked me.

"I will knock twenty-five dollars off any repair job if the lovely lady would have lunch with me. I'll even pay for the lunch." I knew I had a silly grin on my face.

I knew it was a stupid come-on but sometimes we all do stupid things. This time it worked. (Shit, nothing ventured, nothing gained!)

Kara handed me a check for a hundred dollars and smiled. "Not a bad deal. You might be getting awfully fat if you do this all day." She was laughing as we got into her car and headed for the restaurant.

After that day Kara would stop by and get gas and a few groceries fairly regularly. I knew she was coming on to me so I went with the flow. We started dating fairly often after that. I started to become attached to her daughter Amy; she was a sweet lonely little girl. She had school and baby sitters most of the time. One night when Kara and I were planning on going to a movie, little Amy asked, "Can I go, Brad?"

Without even looking at Kara, I said, "Sure, Honey, you can go." The smile on her face was worth a thousand words.

Kara wasn't overly happy but I didn't care. Amy was becoming my pal. Whenever I went to their house Amy would always come and talk to me while her mother was getting dressed. Kara was never ready on time. I didn't really mind because I would play games with Amy.

Kara had a mixed work schedule. She would send Amy to childcare after school until she got off work. For some reason it bothered me; I wanted this little princess to have a better life. Right now she spent her time in school and then daycare till late in the evening.

I got a call one day that a school bus had broken down on a country road. The school called me and I headed over to see what I could do. When I got there another bus was there to transfer the kids and take them home. Amy saw me and ran up to me.

"Amy, get on the other bus. We have to take you to the daycare," the driver said politely.

"Can't I stay with Brad? He's my friend."

"No, Amy, not without your mom's permission, I'm sorry," the driver said.

I felt so sorry for her. What kind of life was a daycare center? I quickly pulled out my cell phone and called the store and asked for Kara. I told her about the bus breaking down and that Amy wanted to come to the garage.

I could tell she could care less one way or the other. I handed the phone to the driver and he got permission to leave Amy with me. She was as happy as can be. She stood there and watched while I found out the problem. It was a broken radiator hose. I told the driver of the first bus that I would be back in a few minutes with the new hose. He could contact the school garage and let them know he would be back within the hour.

Amy climbed in my truck and we headed to the garage to get the new hose. She was talking a mile a minute as I drove along. We got the new hose, took it back and the bus driver was on his way. Amy watched me the whole time.

"I want to be a car fixer upper when I grow up," replied Amy.

"You mean a mechanic like me?" I asked.

"Yep, I want to be a 'chanic', just like you."

It was enough to melt any man's heart. I loved this little girl. I talked with her mom and instead of daycare the bus would drop Amy off at my store/garage. I had an office and she would sit there and do what little homework she had. She would always want a snack when she first arrived. First her snack, then her homework and after that she would come and watch me or one of the guys repair cars. She was a pure joy to have around.

Sally, a woman I had running the store for me, took Amy under her wing. She was like a second mother to Amy. She had a daughter that was off at college and was happy to have Amy around.

One day when Amy was watching me repair a car, she said, "Brad, I wish you were my daddy."

I was dumbstruck. What do you say to a little girl that says that to you? I was dating her mother and we got along fine. I never really thought of marrying again.

I had to say something to the sweet thing. "Honey, we'll have to see what happens. We'll always be friends and right now we are pals."

I liked Kara a lot but I wasn't sure how she felt about me. We had become intimate and the sex with her was great. She totally gave of herself; she was probably one of the best sex partners I've ever been with, but marriage? I just wasn't sure.

Here I was almost thirty-nine and had an established business. I decided to take a chance and ask Kara to marry me, more for little Amy's sake, which might be a mistake. I wanted her to have a stable home life. I did have a pre-nuptial agreement signed to protect the business in case the marriage didn't work out.

I should explain a little about Kara's first marriage and Amy's father. Kara got married young. She said she was kind of a reckless teenager and hung out with a pretty wild crowd. Kurt, her former husband, was rather an unruly guy. To make a long story short, she got pregnant by Kurt and they got married. She told me that sex with Kurt was great. Something I really didn't need - or want - to know, but Kurt was always getting into trouble.

One day he got drunk and beat on Kara and little Amy. When I heard that I wanted to find the motherfucker and beat the shit out of him. Just the thought of a man striking a woman and hitting little Amy pissed me off. I know I wasn't the best father and had been more or less a drunk myself, but I'd never beat on Mary or the boys.

Kara got a restraining order put on him and applied for a divorce. She said she really did love him, something else I didn't care to hear, but couldn't take a chance of being beat on again.

Kurt went on a drinking binge and drove his car. He crashed into another vehicle killing the two passengers. His alcohol content was so high that he didn't even know he did it. He came out with a few scrapes and bruises. He was arrested and ended up being sent to prison for vehicular homicide. He was sentenced to fifteen to twenty-five years. He could be out in as early as ten years. He had already served two years as she told me the story.

Kara told me she couldn't take any more of the harassment from his family and friends. They blamed her for him driving drunk because she was divorcing him. She finally got her job transfer to Ohio and that's when she moved here.

It made me think how no one wants to take the blame for their own actions. Kurt was the one that drank; no one forced the booze down his throat. I should know; I did the same thing. Thank God no one was ever killed by my drinking and driving. It also reminded me of Mary's second pregnancy. Her mother blamed only me - like Mary didn't have any say-so about birth control! There I go regressing again. I guess we all look back and wondered what if we had done things differently.

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After our getting married, life was pretty good for a while. We had sex pretty often and went out regularly. I always wanted to include Amy, but Kara preferred dancing and drinking. I wasn't much of a party person any more and of course it kind of pissed off Kara. I wanted to do family things. Whenever I found something we could do as a family, Kara had an excuse why she couldn't do it.

I decided that Amy was going to be a big part of my life, so we started doing everything together. Once in a while Kara would come with us. We went to amusement parks, the zoo, the beach, fishing and everything else we could think of. Throughout the next few years we became darn near inseparable. She always called me Daddy. I wanted to adopt her but Kara said it wasn't possible because Amy's dad wouldn't sign over his rights to her.

It was pretty shitty; he did nothing to help support her. Again, it reminded me of myself and how stupid I had been and hadn't supported my sons either. At least I ended up doing what was best for them. He was in prison, and yet he wouldn't sign over his rights so I could adopt Amy. I considered her my daughter anyway and I was her daddy.

I remember shortly after we got married Amy had a nightmare. She came into our room and tried to lie next to her mom.

"Go back to your own bed, Amy," her mother said.

Amy was crying slightly and came to my side of the bed. I pulled the covers back and she slid her little body in next to me. She fell asleep almost instantly. Having my arms around this precious little girl felt so good. It was like I was protecting her from the world.

She started showing up a couple of times a week. I would just pull back the covers and she would climb up and fall asleep.

Kara and I argued about it a few times but it never stopped my little pal from coming back. Eventually I explained to her that she had to learn to sleep in her own bed. I put in a nightlight and told her we would leave her door open. She accepted this alternative and it made life more bearable with Kara.

It wasn't sexual but just protective love, which my little girl wanted so badly. I began living my life for her. I was doing everything with her that I missed out on with my sons.

When she was about nine we went to a fair and I spent about twenty dollars at a shooting gallery trying to win her a big overstuffed teddy bear. We finally won it and she was so proud of it. It always sits in the middle of her big bed.

My little pal and I even went hunting together. I showed her how to shoot but she only hunted with a BB gun. She said she wasn't going to shoot any animals. She made me feel bad so I started hunting with my camera. There we were, both dressed up in our hunting gear, her with her BB gun and me with a camera. We got some really nice photos of the wild animals. Amy told me she was happy that I wasn't shooting her little fuzzy friends. We did our shooting at targets at the rifle and gun range.

Kara and I had a somewhat normal relationship. It wasn't really bad but it really wasn't loving either. We did our thing in the bedroom; it was always good. I have to say she did her best work in the bedroom. She wasn't much of a cook so most of our eating was done in restaurants.

Kara went with Amy and me to different events but we nearly had to force her. It was always work, work, work with her. I was beginning to wonder if it really was all work or something else.

For some reason, I really didn't care; Amy was my pride and joy. It was her life and her future I was worried about. I decided to help her out anyway I could so that she reached her potential. A typical example was when the school asked for volunteers, I volunteered.

Amy was good in everything she did. She had both brains and talent. Getting Kara to Amy's games was like pulling teeth, so I made sure I was always there to support Amy. Whenever she made a good play, I was there to cheer her on. She would always look back and smile at me. She knew how much I loved her.

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About a year had passed and Kara was working later and later. She also decided to start going out with the girls. Our sex life was diminishing; I knew something was wrong. I hired a private investigator to start following her. He followed her on and off over a two month period. The results were just what I had expected. She was cheating on me.