My First Time, & Welcome To It

"You mean put my mouth on your penis?"

"Yes, that's what I mean. It's called 'fellatio," also a 'blowjob."

"I don't care what you call it, why would I want to do that?"

"How about because I just did it for you?" I growled.

Regaining her sour expression, she got down on her knees and gingerly examined my swollen, throbbing member. Despite everything, I had never felt this exhilarated. I was actually going to get my cock sucked! I couldn't wait.

I'll give her credit - she did make oral contact with it. She planted darting pecks down the top, rather like a camper trying to snatch a burning marshmallow out of a campfire. With a bit of frustrated coaxing, she even managed to work over the head with her lips, pausing every three seconds to spit out my pre-cum. But never once did she lick it, or take it into her mouth and actually suck on it. It was like watching a baby eat, smearing food all over his face but never getting any in his mouth. Maybe I was nit-picking, but I always imagined that when I finally got a hummer, I wouldn't be able to help exploding within seconds. The reality was that the tsunami of semen I had felt warming up moments before was subsiding just as quickly.

In all, she spent a fraction of the time doing me that I had doing her, with comparable enthusiasm, so when she had "had enough," and stood up, I wasn't all that crestfallen.

"So, what now?" she asked. "Do you want to put it in me now?"

Shrugging, I replied, "Yeah, I guess so." Not exactly like it comes across in adult cinema, I thought. No moaning and groaning. No names screamed out in passion. No dirty dialogue, no "Oh, yes, oh, yes," no "Faster, faster, you fool, you fool!" I would never have dreamed that it was possible to be naked with a semi-attractive woman in a shower and have the passion go down the drain faster than the hot water, but there it was.

She started to lie down on the floor of the shower stall, which was curious, since even at her diminutive height there wouldn't have been room for me to mount her without driving my patellas through the backs of my knees. Besides, I wasn't finished with my fantasy wish list.

"Hon, I don't think there's room to do it missionary style," I told her. "Why don't we try it standing up?"

"Standing up? What do I look like, one of the flying Wallendas? I'd have to get three feet in the air to make that work, and you couldn't hold me up for that long."

"No, sweetie, I didn't mean facing each other," I replied, struggling mightily to control my frustration, a battle which was blowing down my boner again. As I looked at her beseechingly, she sighed gustily, picked up the soap again, and started lathering up my cock and balls. It felt good, but at this point I barely noticed.

"Well, then what DO you mean?"

I couldn't tell if she was being a pain in the ass or just obtuse. "I mean from behind."

"Behind? You mean like a couple of dogs?"

"That's another name for it."

"Look, why don't we just get out, dry off, and go to bed?"

That was actually not an unreasonable suggestion, but by now I was like a man on a cross-country vacation with his family who got lost, wouldn't ask for directions, and now is inching along a goat trail on the side of an eight thousand foot mountain peak above a massive glacier. I wasn't stopping, or changing the setting, for anything.

"No, I want to do it in here. Water is a huge turn-on for me, and I've always fantasized about doing it from behind in the shower."

Closing her eyes, and appearing to count ten chimpanzees to herself, she turned around and bent over as much as the stall allowed. Whereupon I made a discovery that never showed up in any of the aforementioned porno flicks: her pussy had moved. In the movies the man is standing more or less straight and slides his prick more or less straight into the woman's cunt. Heck, pics of pussies from that vantage point always showed the vagina RIGHT THERE, readily and easily accessible. But not here. Oh, I knew where my cock touched her when we were both standing, but I figured if she bent over far enough, her pussy would move back and up sufficiently for there to be no problems with insertion. But there appeared to be nothing. It was gone, or had moved, or it had a zipper I had missed and she'd shut it up tight.

"You're too far back," she grunted. "My opening is farther forward."

"Okay, wait a minute," I muttered, crouching down in order to thrust my prick beneath her and forward enough to find her pussy. "Can you bend over further, or raise your tush higher in the air?"

"Not without a block & tackle," she retorted sarcastically.

This wasn't unfolding as I had envisioned it. Not exactly being an athlete, my legs were beginning to feel the strain of holding up my torso at that angle. I had to get my cock in soon, or I was going to fall on my butt and take her down with me.

"Oh, for heaven's sake," she said, reaching back for my dick and almost trying to plug it in like a household appliance into an electrical outlet. But it was successful, and for the first time in my life I felt the incredible warmth and slipperiness that is a woman's moderately lubricated vagina. God, it felt wonderful.

For about three seconds. As soon as I tried to withdraw a little bit to begin thrusting, my dong immediately fell out. We put it back in again, with the same result. Now my legs really were starting to buckle, and I had to stand up before I embarrassed myself any further.

"Can we go to the bedroom now?" she asked, almost plaintively.

"No. I still want to do it in here."

Getting out of the shower, she promptly laid down on the bathroom floor. Shaking my head, I grabbed her hand and pulled her back to her feet. "How about you hop up on the counter here?"

Resignedly, she complied, spreading her legs. Getting between them, I found that I didn't have to stoop nearly as much, and this time my cock slid into her warmth much easier. Which, since I WAS a virgin, meant that I blew my load on about the fourth thrust. Feeling like I'd rather be ANY place but where I was, I continued to thrust on the off chance that maybe she might still orgasm, but she just looked at me with that emblematic distaste that I had heard men didn't typically get from their women until they'd been married for twenty years.

After I dropped her off at her place, I never heard from her again. Though I did see her, several years later. She looked like a fitness model, had gotten a boob job, a total makeover, and was married to an ex-varsity quarterback.

"Now that," I said to the guys at Sharky's, "is how to tell about a first fuck - a straightforward factual report unadorned by a lot of lies and sentimentality."

Unrepentant, they muttered angrily. To soothe their injured feelings, I told them about my second fuck. She looked like Anna Kournikova with weightless 38 double-D cans, swallowed my cock and balls at the same time, and we came simultaneously forty-eight times in as many hours with her screaming my name the whole time. Honest! I wouldn't lie about something like that.