My Heart is Open

"You're amazing, angel."

I giggled and lifted my head to look into his face. I rested my chin on my hand and tilted my head as he pushed some errant strands of hair out of my eyes. "You're all right too, Christian."

He chuckled and bent his head to kiss my forehead. We stayed that way for a few more minutes until I shifted to lay beside him. He rolled to face me and for another short while, we stayed like that. I would happily stay like this, in silence even, with this man for as long as I could.

"I have to tell you something."

I blinked, taken aback by his serious tone. "Oh?" I smiled. "Are you really a woman?"

He laughed and shook his head. He put his arms around me and pulled me in. Our legs tangled together and we were so close, we came to rest our heads on the same pillow.

"What is it?" I asked.

Christian hesitated before speaking and I reached for his hand, bringing it up between us to kiss his fingers. I wanted to make him feel comfortable and let him know he could tell me anything. I told him as much and he smiled.

"I know. That's why I'm going to tell you this." He paused again, his eyes scanning my face, the warmth there unmistakable. "I told you when we met that I had an ex-fiance. What I didn't tell you was why we weren't together anymore. When we met, I wanted to tell you just because I've always felt so at ease with you."

"I know what you mean." I smiled and kissed his fingers again. "I feel the same way."

He nodded. "It's so easy being with you. I haven't felt this way since I was with my fiance."

I waited when he stopped again, anxious to hear what he had to say and now almost afraid.

"She...she passed away two years ago."

I sucked in a breath. Whatever I'd been expecting, it hadn't been that. I tightened my grasp on his fingers and waited to hear more.

"We were really in love. She was smart, kind and beautiful." His eyes stayed on mine, a little sad now. "She was taken from me, so fast." He looked down for a second and shook his head. "It was a car accident. There was nothing anyone could have done and I was heartbroken."

"Of course you were." I was surprised I could get the words out, I ached so badly for him. I could only imagine what pain Christian must have felt.

He smiled then, surprising me further. "It was sad, and I went through a terrible time right after that. I didn't care about myself or anything really. I stopped working, stopped talking to my family or hers. I just gave up, really. Eventually, I realized she wouldn't have wanted that and so I tried to go on. I got a job, reconnected with family and friends and moved back here, where I'd grown up."

He sighed and reached up to stroke the side of my face. "In all that time, I never considered the chance that I'd ever fall in love again."

I blinked but didn't speak. I could tell he wasn't done explaining yet.

"I dated, sure, and hooked up with different women. I even thought I'd met someone a few months ago who could maybe be someone special." He shook his head. "She just wasn't right though. But I kept on doing what people do. I worked, went out with friends, thought I was doing fine on my own. I'd pretty much given up hope of ever meeting someone who made me feel even a fraction of what I'd felt before."

He shifted closer to me on the pillow so that I felt his next words like a caress against my lips. "And then I met you."

I blinked back tears and gave him a weak smile. "Me?"

"Yes, you. You were so funny and easy to talk to, right from the beginning. You're smart and compassionate and so damn sexy, it makes me ache."

I blushed, in spite of everything we'd just shared in his room.

"I mean it, Maggie. I had given up until I met you and looked into your eyes the first time. There was something that I saw in your eyes that changed things. It changed me."

I couldn't speak for the welling of emotion inside me. I bit my lip and nodded as Christian spoke, telling me everything I didn't know I'd wanted to hear.

"I know we haven't known each other that long and the way we met was, well... unconventional." He grinned and kissed me. "I can honestly say that I've never been happier. Maybe guys aren't supposed to talk this way, but I don't care. I'm not afraid to tell you that I've been waiting for this moment for a long time and my heart is open again."

I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to his. "Oh, Christian."

He kissed me and held me close for a long time without speaking. He stroked my back and sides, pressed gentle kisses to my forehead and face, all while waiting patiently for a response.

"I'm so sorry that you had to go through what you did, Christian." I lifted my head to look into his eyes. "I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"Thank you, angel."

I smiled and touched his cheek with shaking fingers. "And I'm so happy that you've shared this with me. I would never have asked it of you and I'm so flattered that you trust me this much."

"Of course I do. You're wonderful. I know you'd never hurt me intentionally."

I nodded. "Never. Just as I know you wouldn't hurt me."

He agreed. We fell silent for a few minutes again. I started to feel sleepy and my eyelids drooped. He chuckled and kissed me again before urging me to sleep.

"We'll talk more when we wake up," he promised. "I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"You don't have to tell me anything." I yawned and snuggled closer to him, soaking up his body heat and the scent of him. "I already know everything I need to know about you."

"I'm so happy, angel."

"Oh yeah. Why 'angel'?"

His arms tightened around me. "You've brought me back to life, Maggie. I can breathe again, thanks to you. You're my angel."

I fell asleep moments later, my heart against his, my life now in his hands.

****

And your love is healing

Baby, I'm finally breathing

I can hear you calling, I'm ready to fall in love again

My heart is open