My Last Will and Testicle

"We'll just have to keep him awake, then; won't we?"

Julie and I locked eyes and she smiled, her invitation as clear as crystal. The sun shone brightly for the rest of that day, even if only inside my head.

***

"How wicked is your uncle, anyway?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, I don't want to have to tell my grandkids that I went to Woodstock but didn't get laid!"

"What about last night?"

"Those two potheads? They were so stoned they didn't know which end was up! And in the event, neither was."

"Well, then; maybe tonight's the night!"

"But don't you want to keep him for yourself?"

"I'd love to, Jules, but he won't have me. I've... er... asked him already. It's an honor thing, you see?"

"No, not really, but if you're sure..."

"If she's sure about what?"

"Oh, hi Nunc! We were just discussing tonight's sleeping arrangements. Julie wants to find out how wicked you are."

"Well, I may be wicked, but I'm not quite as liberated as you two young ladies seem to be. I'm not sure I'm ready for an audience, sweetheart. Wouldn't you like to catch The Grateful Dead?"

"But Nunc! It's raining toads! You can't expect me to go out in that! What if I promised to keep my eyes shut; how would that be?"

"Can I trust you?"

"We could always blindfold her, just to be sure..."

"Groovy! Let's do it! Here, Jules... tie this on me. Oh, this'll be far out!"

These days, she'd have said 'awesome!'; but this was then, and 'awesome!' hadn't been invented.

I watched Julie tie a scarf around her eyes and then, to my astonishment, push her back onto her pillow and kiss her. There was nothing ambiguous about this kiss: it was a full frontal declaration of pent-up passion, the perfect expression of what I was feeling for her myself.

"Who did that? Jules? Is that you? Do it again - I need to be sure... Yes, you're not prickly like he is."

"Honey, I've wanted to do that to you ever since we were in seventh grade!"

"So what kept you? D'you have a blindfold fetish or something?"

"You mean you don't mind?"

"So far, it's nothing but bliss. Is there more? I'm new to this."

"Me too, love. Let's see... How does this feel?"

"Heavenly! Would you rub the other one too? But shouldn't we blindfold my uncle, before we go any further?"

"Nah... Let him watch. Show him what he's missing."

"Undress me, then!"

Now, I don't know if you've ever lain in a small tent at night, with rain drumming on the canvas, the sound of Creedence Clearwater playing in the distance, and two half-naked girls - one of them blindfolded - wrapped in each other's arms beside you... but if you have, you'll know what I'm talking about. And if you haven't... well, I can recommend it!

In the half-light that was seeping into the tent, I watched Julie first slide her hand up under my niece's T-shirt, and then undo the zipper of her jeans and work a hand in between her legs. Impatient, my niece reprised her act of the previous night: lifting her hips, sliding her jeans and panties straight down to her ankles, and - tonight - opening herself to her friend's intimate touch.

Lying between us, Julie was fumbling to undo her own jeans, so - like the perfect gentleman I wasn't - I reached around her hips to lend a hand. With years of practice, I'd become quite adept at undressing women - particularly when they wanted me to - so it didn't take long before she was lying naked and lovely in the semi-darkness between us, big beautiful... eyes and all.

"My wicked uncle's gone very quiet. Is he still here?"

"Uh-huh."

"Is he looking at us?"

"Uh-huh."

"Both of us?"

"Uh-huh."

"What's he doing?"

"Umm... being wicked, of course."

"As wicked as you?"

"Not yet, but give me time," I said, nuzzling the back of Julie's neck.

"Oh, Christ! I want to see!"

"Well, you can't; it's private."

"What does it feel like, then?"

"Whom are you asking?" (I have always felt that grammar is important, even at moments like this.)

"'Whom'? Both of youm, of course! Go on... tell me what you're doing."

"He's lying behind me, cupping one of my big, beautiful breasts in his hand and rolling my hard nipple between his fingers, like this."

"Oh, yes! Do it to me!"

"And I can feel something hard pushing against my naked ass that's just yearning to be liberated. I'll be right back... Don't go away!"

......

"Hey, what's going on? Why have you both gone quiet? You're kissing, aren't you? Does he do it better than me?"

"You're right about him being prickly! But I don't know which of you I like more. Let me try you again... Mmm, your lips are much softer, and your tongue's smaller, and you taste sweet and lovely. He's rougher, but he sucks on my bottom lip, which I love, and he tastes of wine. Hmm... I think I'll take one of each."

"Like that taste of wine, do you, Julie? Here, try this......"

"Oh! Good grief! No one has ever done that with me before!"

"What did he do? What did he do?"

"He took a mouthful of wine, kissed me, and let it slowly dribble into my mouth! I almost came on the spot. That was wicked!"

"Do it to me! Do it to me!"

"I'll have to get another mouthful from him first......Mmmm..."

"Oh! Oh! Oh! God, that's so erotic! Do it again!"

"There are other places you could put it, you know, Julie," I whispered to her.

"You mean, in her...?"

"Here, I'll pass you another mouthful and you can choose where to deliver it. How's that?"

"AHHH! Jeez, Jules! Was that you? But I bet it was his idea, right? That felt amazing! Drink it back out of me so I don't dribble on the sleeping bag... please? And would you lick me while you're down there?"

"Honey, I thought you tasted good before, but you taste even better here! Spread your legs a little and raise your ass... Now I can really get at you! Your pussy is glorious: it's wet and open and swollen, and now it tastes of wine... Mmmm!"

"Eat me! Drink me! Make a whole damned three-course meal out of me!"

I watched enthralled as Julie lapped at my niece's cunt, occasionally coming up for air before plunging back down with an enthusiasm that would have matched my own, had I been lying in her place. My darling niece - still blindfolded - lay naked beside me with her legs wide apart, a hand on each breast, rolling her own nipples between her fingertips.

'Was I really keeping her from harm?' I wondered. 'Well, there are many worse things in life than a crashing orgasm', I thought, as I watched Julie wrap her arms around her hips, drive her tongue into her sweet vagina just as far as it would reach, and lift her gracefully up, up, up, and... Ahhh! Yes!... over the top.

"OH! Oh! oh!... Why have we never done that before? Come up here and kiss me, you lovely Julie person," she said, dreamily. "I want to taste my pussy wine on your lips."

***

And then, a little later: "Are you guys going to fuck now, or what?"

"Oh, I hope so!" Julie and I said in unison... and laughed, of course.

"Then go for it! And be good to each other, will you? For my sake?"

"I hope you don't feel like a go-between, Julie,"

"I hope I'll feel more like a come-between!"

"Then fuck her for both of us, 'kay, Nunc?"

Between kisses, I ran through the pre-flight checklist that I'd learned from experience could forestall a mess of anguish:

"Mmm... Virgin?"

"Mmm... Hardly!"

"Mmm... Condom?"

"Mmm... Pill."

"Mmm... And vasectomy."

"Mmm... Belt and braces!"

"Mmm... Position?"

"Mmm... S'prise me!"

"Mmm... Ready?"

"Mmm... Steady..."

"GO! Hey, Nunc! That's really sweet. You're just pretending to be wicked!"

"Don't tell anyone, okay?"

It was the first time in more than a decade that I'd fucked someone as young as Julie, and I'd forgotten how gloriously tight teenage cunts could be. To s'prise her, I rolled her onto her back next to my darling niece, lay on my side beside her, and semi-scissored my legs with hers (You know that lovely position? It's one of my favorites). My prick, which had already risen magnificently to the occasion (as - in those long-forgotten days - I knew it would), was now aimed straight at the open mouth of her vagina.

She reached down between her legs, took hold of my penis and rubbed it against her wet, swollen pussy lips. Then, unexpectedly, she turned her head away from me and gently kissed the naked girl lying next to her, still blindfolded. The simple, intimate act of inclusion just melted my heart. Feeling a sudden tsunami of passion for these two, wonderful people, I rocked my hips forward and drove my prick into Julie's welcoming cunt.

We gasped in unison... 'S'prise!'... at the breathtaking intensity of the feelings that erupted between us.

"Oh God! He's in you, isn't he? This is as good as watching! Mmmm... Go on kissing me while he fucks you..."

As I said, I'd forgotten how tight teenage cunts could be, and the sensation of sliding into Julie that first time catapulted me almost to the point of no return. I hadn't felt a cunt like this since Rover was a pup... whenever that was.

"Don't move!" I implored her, as the delicious waves of feeling washed right up to my doorstep.

"But I want to move," she moaned. "You feel wonderful!"

"You too, but just give me a moment - just a moment," I gasped. "Then you can move."

"Is it good? Is he big? Does he stretch you?"

"Yes, yes, and... God, yes!"

"And how does she feel?"

"You really want to know?"

"Tell me!"

"She feels like she's the real reason that sex was invented. I've always wondered about that."

"Oh, I like your Nuncle! He can fuck me any time he wants to."

Slowly at first - both to pace myself and to seek out that ideal rhythm that's unique to each couple, and to each coupling - I began to slide in and out of Julie's delicious cunt. The temptation to throw caution to the winds and simply nail her to the sleeping bag was almost irresistible. And - like Oscar Wilde - I can resist everything except temptation.

But on this occasion I was fucking for two - well, for three, if you count Julie - so I fought the temptation manfully and, for once in my life, I won. I wanted this to last a long, long time, so instead of nailing her, I took her for a stroll along the edge of the cliff... metaphorically speaking, you understand.

I've always loved cliff-top walks, but one false step and it's all over: you're slip-sliding your way to a premature petite mort. The trick is never to look down; keep your eyes fixed firmly on the distant horizon until that glorious moment when you can launch yourself over the edge on wings of ecstasy and soar with the mewling seagulls.

"What are you thinking about, Nunc?"

"Seagulls."

"Me too!" said Julie. "I want this to last for a long, long time..."

***

And it did, didn't it?... Forty-eight years and counting, although I don't think I can count much higher than this. Forty-nine, maybe; fifty would be nice. Wasn't there a sum I wanted to do once that had a fifty in it? I can't remember.

So, that brings me to my final legacies.

The bank accounts (both of them!) are joint, so that's not a problem. Not for me, anyway. You'll have to deal with the overdrafts. And you're on the title to the latest rattletrap, too; so that's taken care of.

Luckily, I put the house in your names some years ago, if you remember. Well... it wasn't luck, was it? It was your suggestion! And although I made an awful fuss about it at the time, I now agree that it was the right thing to do. There! Bet you never thought I'd admit that, did you? Thank you for the $1.00 you paid me for it; I'm still trying to decide how to spend it.

I know!

I leave it... to you! Umm, let's see: that's fifty cents each! Don't spend it all at once.

The key to the wine cellar is in the... No, I think I'll let you find that for yourselves, if you haven't done so already. (I could have sworn I had another case of Chateau Lafite Rothschild, 1982...)

Finally, the deed to that gold mine in South Africa that I never told you about? Or was it a diamond mine? Never mind; it makes no difference, because... it doesn't exist! Never did! Ha! Had you going there for a moment, didn't I? It's nice to think you'll both be cursing me when I'm gone... God, how I'm going to miss you both!

Take good care of one another; I know you will, anyway. Love doesn't give you much choice in the matter, does it?

Life Lesson Number Last: There's always time for one more Life Lesson, until...

THE END