My Life is Different Ch. 01

"So, when Clinton hired a woman to be attorney general, he made our wives gay?"

The Joe Pantoliano guy took a swig from his drink, coughed loudly and replied, "Our wives aren't gay, Arnie! They're just sexually confused! And it's mostly Janet Reno's fault! I heard it on Fox News! If we get women out of law-enforcement and put men in charge again, I'll bet our wives ...."

"They'll come to their senses, right? They'll realize that men do manly things and that women do womanly things!"

"Yeah! Like what you said!"

I didn't stick around to hear anymore. I could almost have felt sorry for those two when I first heard that they were having problems with their marriage. But then, once I realized what sort of misogynistic, sexist pigs they were, I only felt anger and contempt.

And I don't know who they're married to, but whoever it is, they probably deserved better than these two knuckle-dragging sub-monkeys!

* * * * * * * * * *

Eventually Xander went home and Buffy and I returned to campus. It was Thanksgiving Day and it was just a few minutes to midnight and the campus was dead. I couldn't see or hear another person anywhere. Except for Buffy and me, the whole campus looked deserted.

"Hey, Will," Buffy said as we walked arms linked together, "There's still some time left to create a new Thanksgiving Day tradition."

I checked my watch and nodded my head in agreement. "We've got eleven whole minutes."

"And I was thinking," Buffy continued, "That it would be a really cool Thanksgiving if you were to walk naked across the campus. After all, the place is deserted right now. Everybody's cleared out for the Thanksgiving holiday, so where's the bad?"

It sounded like a scary idea to me. A lot of the nightmares I've had over the past four years involved showing up at school naked, but I looked to my left and to my right and scanned the campus in every direction. No matter where I looked, the campus seemed to be completely deserted.

Even with the campus appearing deserted, I was still nervous. My mouth went dry and hands shook as they touched the hem of my shirt. Was I really going to strip down naked on the campus lawn? We were only a few yards from the student parking lot. What if a student came back for some reason? They could be here within seconds and spotlight my nudity with their headlights!

"Tick tock," said Buffy, getting impatient. "Time's a factor here, Will. Thanksgiving will be over soon. You gotta do this now."

"You want me to strip?" I asked nervously. "Here? Now?"

"That's right," Buffy said in her authoritative, prison-guard of cell-block-D voice, "Strip! Here! Now!"

When Buffy does that voice it really gets to me. Before I knew it I was barefoot and handing my shoes to her. Then I slipped my t-shirt over my head and handed that to Buffy as well. Unbuttoning and unzipping my skinny jeans came next, but they were so tight it took quite a bit of time and effort to slide them off of my hips and down my thighs.

"C'mon, Will," Buffy said impatiently, "Bra and panties too."

My fingers shook as I reached around back and searched for the catches to unfasten my bra. It took several attempts but I finally got it. Then finally I stood on the school lawn, wearing nothing but my Victoria's Secret hip-hugger panties with the white lace trim.

"The panties too, Will," Buffy said, still using her authoritative prison guard voice. "It's no good unless you take it all off."

I took one last look around the campus and nervously slipped off the flimsy nylon/spandex garment. It weighed almost nothing and when I handed it to Buffy I felt like a thousand eyes were watching me from the darkness. I'd never felt this naked and exposed in my life before.

"Okay, Will," Buffy said with her arms full of my clothing, panties visible and prominent on the top of the pile. "You just have to make your way back to our dorm room and you get your clothes back. It's just that simple."

Then Buffy ran off with my clothes, heading in the direction of Stevenson Hall. I tried to run after her, but running in your bare feet is a lot harder than you might think. Every pebble and pine needle and tree root that you step on hurts the soles of your feet. I had to slow down to a much more moderate pace and follow Buffy naked and slowly and carefully and naked across campus.

Did I mention I was naked?

I just wanted to make sure I didn't forget to mention that. It's very disconcerting to walk naked across the lawn of a public place. Even though I didn't see anybody, I felt certain that at any moment somebody would pop out of nowhere see my naked body and shout...

"Willow, is that you?"

I yelped in surprise and clutched at my heart. Never in all the years of vampire attacks and zombies rising from the grave did anything scare me so much as the voice of one of my fellow college students greeting me as I tried to walk stealthily across the campus lawn while totally and completely naked.

When I was certain I wasn't going to die of embarrassment, my brain was able to identify the girl who spoke. Her name was Terri Radcliffe and she was wearing a sports bra, running shoes and very, very tight running shorts. Probably some sort of hybrid fabric of spandex and nylon. She had worked up quite a sweat, so she'd probably been out running for quite some time.

"Terri," I exclaimed, sounding just as out of breath as she did. "You scared me half to death!"

"Sorry," she said, sounding genuinely sympathetic. "I thought everybody had gone home for the holidays. I wasn't expecting to see any of the students out naked on the school lawn."

There was a very short pause (perhaps about one or two heartbeats) and then Terri asked, "Why are you out naked on the school lawn?"

I'm horrible at lying so I tried being vague instead. I fidgeted with my hands and said, "I kinda lost a bet....well not really a bet... it's more like a close friend of mine sorta dared me to do it.... Well not really a dare either... it's more like..... Well, I just hafta to do it, but I can't really explain why, but if you could please not tell anybody that you saw me out here like this, I would totally owe you and a huge favor and please say yes. Yes, meaning that you won't tell anybody...not yes to the favor. Although I totally will owe you a favor if you keep this a secret. Please?"

Terri got an amused smirk on her face as I babbled. My babbling has that effect on people sometimes.

"I'll tell you what, Willow; you seem like a nice girl, so I'll keep this our little secret."

I let out a sigh of relief and then Terri said, "Be careful though. I saw the campus police on patrol while I was on my run. Thanksgiving may be a major holiday, but they still do random patrols. If they see you wandering around naked, they won't be as understanding about it as I am."

A chill went down my spine as the thought of getting caught by campus police occurred to me. I must have looked pretty shaken at the thought because Terri immediately tried to comfort me.

"I'll tell you what, Willow," she said, "I'll head back toward campus security and if I find 'em, I'll fake an ankle injury and ask them if they can help me limp back to my dorm room. That should buy you some extra time to get yourself back inside.

I thanked Terri and started to walk back towards Stevenson Hall, but before she ran off she called out to me, "By the way, Willow, you have got one seriously cute ass!"

I felt my face got hot at the compliment. I don't know why it didn't occur to me that Terri might find my naked body sexually attractive. I mean, Sunnydale seemed to be filled with lesbians these days. Why wouldn't Terri be one of them?

As I walked it occurred to me that when Terri asked me to repay the favor I owed her, it might be sexual in nature. Then I wondered how Buffy would feel about that. Was that even worth worrying about now, or should I just wait until later and worry about it when Terri brought it up?

If she brought it up. There was a possibility that she might not even remember that I owed her a favor!

Of course, if it had been me who had seen a naked college girl with a cute butt on campus and she owed me a favor, would I ever forget?

Then, as I walked nervously on uncertain legs across the campus lawn, somebody else snuck up behind me. I was certain that it was campus security on a random patrol and I wondered how they had managed to come upon me so quickly, but when I turned around it was a vampire with her fangs already bared.

She struck one of those melodramatic poses, with her fingers clenched all claw-like and her arms spread wide as if she was getting ready to grab me and her knees bent as if she was ready to pounce on me.

"Willow Rosenberg," she announced in a classic villainy melodramatic booming voice, "I've been following you for hours! I knew that if I bided my time, I'd eventually catch you alone! And now, without the slayer to protect you, I'll drain you dry! And with your death, the slayer's morale will plummet! She'll become despondent and disheartened! With her spirit crushed, she'll become half the slayer that she once was, and when that happens, I'll take advantage of her vulnerable state and..."

I knew this type of vampire. She could go on for hours with the posturing and the gloating. Some vampires are just in love with the sound of their own voices. I was in no immediate danger, but at some point she'd stop with the posturing and the gloating and the speech-making and she'd bite me. Rather than wait for that moment, I held my hand up, palm flat and I spoke the words, "Sol, succurro tuus filia."

The vampire was apparently expecting me to cower or run or faint or tremble in fear. When; instead; I held up my hand and spoke in Latin, she got a look on her face that was nine parts confusion, one part disappointment.

"What?"

That was all the vampire had time to say. Then just above my outstretched hand a small hole formed in the fabric of reality. Sunlight shone through the jagged hole and suddenly there was enough sunlight on the dark Sunnydale campus to illuminate both the vampire and me.

The vampire screamed inarticulately as she burst into flames and then she rapidly went from flaming flesh to a pile of smoking dust on the campus lawn.

The vampire had screamed long and loud before she died. I was worried that the campus police would come running when they heard her screams, but they must have been too far away. Man, I really, really do owe Terri a big favor.

"Will!!!!"

Suddenly I saw Buffy running across the campus lawn at a speed that any Olympic sprinter would envy. There was fear in her eyes and her legs pumped like pistons as she covered a hundred years like it was ten feet.

She slid across the lawn like a baseball player sliding into home-plate and stopped right in front of me. The vampire was already dust, but Buffy's intentions were clear. She must have seen the vampire before it got to me and she dropped my clothes and came running back to rescue me.

"Will?" she asked when she had come to a complete stop.

"Sunlight spell," I explained. "I've been working on it ever since Angel went on his killing spree. It's a lot more complicated than it looks. But I think I've finally worked out all the kinks."

"You think?" Buffy asked, looking down at the smoldering ashes that had once been a vampire.

"Will, no matter how long I know you, you keep coming up with new surprises."

I didn't really have a clever response to that, so I just said, "uh-huh".

"So, now that you're all big and impressive with the magic and can kill vampires without any help from me, does that mean that you're not my little lesbian submissive anymore?

The look on Buffy's face totally surprised me. She was actually worried that if I became her equal in vampire slaying that I'd somehow not be willing to be submissive to her anymore. She looked so distressed. I almost laughed at her concern. She had nothing to worry about. I loved being her lesbian submissive!

"Buffy, I will always want to be your little lesbian submissive! That's not even a question! It's the vampires I don't wanna be submissive to!"

Buffy squealed and threw me over her shoulder. Soon I was looking at Buffy's shapely, denim-clad butt as she carried me and marched back to Stevenson Hall. My naked butt would be well on display, at eye level as Buffy carried me like that, but I was really enjoying how submissive Buffy made me feel carrying me naked, and over her shoulder like that with her strong arm around my waist.

Then it occurred to me to ask, "Buffy, where are my clothes?"

There were somewhere on the campus lawn. Buffy had dropped them when she ran to rescue me from the vampire, but it was too dark to go looking for them and so Buffy just carried me naked to Stevenson Hall, up the stairs and into our dorm room.