My Life's Playlist Ch. 03

Song 4

Kids!
I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Kids!
Who can understand anything they say?
Kids!
They are disobedient, disrespectful oafs!
Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy, loafers!
While we're on the subject:
Kids!
You can talk and talk till your face is blue!
Kids!
But they still just do what they want to do!
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?

"Kids" -- Music by Charles Strouse Lyrics by Lee Adams

"Do you boys have plans for Friday night?" I asked as I got into Ted's car.

"Duh, Aunt Pippa. The Caps take on the Maple Leaves that night," replied Theo.

"So you wouldn't be interested in actually attending the game if I happened to have a ticket for you, me, and your daddy?"

"This is not something you kid about woman." Ted scowled.

"After all these years teaching with you, I'm not dumb enough to kid about anything to do with your beloved team, even if I'm such a hockey ignoramus as to not recognize Tor Edvardson when I run right into him. So, are you interested?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" yelled the backseat.

"The running man with the Capitals shirt was Tor?" said Ted. "The Tor Edvardson? Shut up!"

"So it appears, if my source at the coffee shop is correct. By the way, Scott says hello, and said you would be very disappointed in me for not recognizing him right off."

"I am, Pippa, truly I am, but I forgive you since you are taking us on Friday. Where are the tickets?"

We had arrived at Theo's preschool so I dug into my tote and handed Ted the tickets as we slowly weaved our way through the carpool line and waited for his teacher to take him out of his car seat. "Holy shit," Ted screamed, "these are some of the best seats in the house! He must be really, really, sorry."

"I am also very sorry for Ted's inappropriate language Mrs. Brownell," I apologized to Theo's teacher.

"Don't worry Miss Rhys-Hall, we are all aware of Mr. Adamson's little hockey problem," she chuckled. "As long as Theo doesn't start using that word, it's all good."

"I'd never use that word Mrs. Brownell," we heard Theo state solemnly as we pulled away. "Mommy would wash my mouth out with soap if I said it, and she yells at Daddy when he uses it."

"You are so busted Ted my man."

"Yeah, whatever. Let's get moving, the bell is about to ring."

During our daily team meeting, Ted proceeded to fill our teammates on "our" upcoming adventure. Flip, who only followed sports that started with the word extreme, was duly impressed. Mary just gave me an appraising glance and said, "We'll talk later, when it's just us girls."

Great, just great. I really hated it when she said things like that. It usually meant she was going to play twenty questions, and there was no way I would win until she had all the answers she wanted. Luckily, I was saved by the third period bell. I stood outside my door and greeted my homeroom. There are thirty of the little darlings, all identified as either Gifted and Talented or Advanced in English, which means, to paraphrase Garrison Keeler, "all the children are above average". Just ask their parents.

The giggle triplets approached me surprise, surprise, giggling. I half expected they would start in immediately with the questions, but they showed remarkable self-restraint, for about 2 minutes.

"What's up Miss R-H?" inquired Carolyn, the unofficial leader of the three, flipping her blonde ponytail behind her.

I gave them my standard "The sky, ladies, the sky," reply. I closed the door as the tardy bell rang.

"Okay everyone, starter's on the board. Remember, this is an opinion question, so I want to see three facts to back up your opinion. I'm collecting this one for a grade, so put it on regular paper and not in the starter section of your folder. You've got 15 minutes," I directed as I went to my computer, pulled up the attendance program and took roll. A minute later, I saw the third part of the trio hand's shoot up.

"Yes, Allison," I asked suspiciously. The three of them were looking at me as if butter wouldn't melt in their mouths, and it made me very, very, nervous.

"I know this is totally random and has nothing to do with our assignment, she asked using her favorite classroom conversation starter, "but Katie told us about your visitor and envelope yesterday and we were wondering if you'd solved the mystery yet?"

"Yea Miss R-H. Is he really as cute as Katie said he was?" Inquired Mary Grace, one of the other girls in the class.

"Katie said he was hot with a capital "ha", sighed Sarah Ann. "I wish I had seen him."

Adam chimed into the discussion, "Mr. Adamson told us first period that you had gotten center ice tickets for Friday's game Miss Rhys-Hall. Those are really great seats. You are so lucky!"

"Wow Miss Rhys-Hall, did you really run into Tor Edvardson? You know he's one of my favorite players. Could you get his autograph?" questioned John.

"Maybe he can come eat lunch with us!" Shouted Jackson.

"Maybe you can get tickets for all of us!" Added Sudhir, his black eyes dancing.

"Do you know any soccer players Miss R-H? Now that's a real sport," said Francisco as he added his two cents.

"Yea, aren't you half English? Doesn't that automatically make you like soccer more?" queried Yusemi.

"Enough, you guys," I snapped. "Focus on your starters because you've only got eight minutes left. As for your questions, this information is on a need to know basis, and none of you need to know. I am quite sure your parents have taught you better manners than to inquiry about an adult's personal life."

Vance "I must always have the last word" Nygeun decided to that today was a good day to die and said "But Miss R-H, you're not an adult, you're a teacher. That means you have no personal life."

"Five minutes left folks!" I said choosing to ignore the last statement.

Okay, I expected Katie, who has the discretion of a thirteen year old girl (oh that's right, she is one) to share her adventures from yesterday with her two best friends, but I didn't realize she would share it with my entire third period! Or that they would execute phase one of the Spanish Inquisition that I suspected Mary had planned for me. Of course, M-squared very well could have put them up to it, since most of them are in her first period, and she didn't seem near surprised enough when Ted told the tale of me vs. the wall. Ted was once again number one on my hit list for bragging about our tickets to the boys in his first period. Sheesh, didn't anyone teach on this team anymore?

One thing I will say about this class is that are smart enough to know when I am serious and the rest of my lesson on Oliver Cromwell proceeded on task. I got a few random snickers from the rest of my kids, but obviously the word had gotten out not to mess with Miss R-H on this subject. I only wish that my colleagues had gotten the message. I spent most of my lunch period deflecting their questions instead of eating the leftovers I'd brought from last night's dinner. I did however let Ted know in no uncertain terms that I DID NOT appreciate his letting the cat of the bag about the identity of the running man, or of our upcoming outing. He apparently got the message, and didn't bring up the game again until Friday as he was dropping me off at the Metro Station to go home.

"They drop the puck at 7:00, and I know you don't want Theo to miss anything so we probably need to meet at the 7^th & H Street exit of the Gallery Plaza/Chinatown Metro Station by 6:00," directed Ted.

"I assume by drop the puck you mean the game starting time. I'll see you there. Please, please, please don't embarrass yourself by painting your face in the team colors. I would like us to be able to go to work on Monday with some of your dignity intact," I replied.

"Scouts honor, I won't do anything to embarrass you tonight Pippa. See you in a few."

Once again, Ted was busted by his little lie detector in the back seat who said, "But Daddy, I thought you'd never been in Boy Scouts. Bye Aunt Pippa."

I shook my head as I watched the car move away, the back of the two brown heads, bodies held in such identical positions as to be mirror images, except that one had a hairline that was starting to recede. With any luck, Theo will take after Angie's family and keep his hair. I got on my train, and headed home, repeating the same coming home routine as always (unlock door, throw mail on table, hang up tote, water Beau). I had about forty-five minutes before I had to go back to the Metro station, so I changed out of my skirt and tights, left on my sage green cashmere twin set that had been my parents birthday gift last year, pulled on my most comfortable jeans and sneakers. As I was brushing my teeth and getting ready to head out the door, my cell started playing "Haste to the Wedding" and my caller id read "Parental Units".

"Hello Mummy. How are you? Where are you?" I inquired, having trouble remembering if they were still in Scotland visiting old naval friends, or were back in North Carolina.

"We're home darling," she replied. "I'm just calling to see how you are. Any big plans for the weekend?"

"Actually I'm headed out the door to go with Ted and Theo to a hockey game," I replied. I was running out of time, and my mother could sometimes be Chatty Cathy when there had been as much time in between our conversations as there was today. "Can I call you tomorrow morning and catch up on everything?"

"Certainly Pippa."

"Thanks, I knew you'd understand. Kisses to Daddy, and keep one for yourself."

"Love you too sweetheart. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye Mummy."

The weather had turned chilly, so I pulled on my warm navy wool pea coat, cable knit beige stocking hat and gloves. Sighing I locked the door, and headed back down the steps to face the unknown.

Song 5

He was sitting in the lounge of the Empire Hotel
He was drinking for diversion
He was thinking for himself
A little money riding on the Maple Leafs
Along comes a lady in lacy sleeves
She says let me sit down
You know, drinkin' alone's a shame
It's a shame it's a crying shame
Look at those jokers
Glued to that damn hockey game

"Raised on Robbery"-- Joni Mitchell

As I rode the escalator to meet the boys, I noticed two differences between myself and most of the other people in the station. Number one, I was one of the few not wearing either some type of Capitals logo or at least the color red and two, I did not have a grin of idiotic excitement on my face at the thought of tonight's game. However when I reached the front of the station it was clear that both of my companions would blend in without any problems. They were both wearing replica jerseys and Theo was bouncing around Ted's feet like a barefoot girl on the hot summer asphalt.

"I see you resisted the urge to paint up Ted," I said as I lifted the bouncing ball into my arms for a kiss.

"Truthfully, you need to thank Angie for that," he replied with a grin and a brotherly kiss to my cheek. "I was going to do it just to irritate you, but she said if I did, she hoped I liked the sofa bed in the man cave because that's where I'd be spending the next several days. I just wasn't willing to find out if she was serious since tomorrow is one of Theo's sleepover nights at your house," he said with a leer in my direction.

"Thanks for the over share, I will now be poking my minds-eye out for the rest of the evening," I replied tartly as I set Theo down.

"Let's go you guys. I'm gonna go to the hockey, game, I'm gonna go to the hockey game!" sung the excited preschooler at my feet. Ted and I took his hands and we proceeded to make our way to the game among the horde of other pumped up fans. I hadn't been to many sporting events that didn't involve water since my college days. I always forget how contagious the excitement of the fans was, add in the loud pop music, cheering, and junk food smells, and I began to be caught up in it myself. Maybe this wouldn't be such a disaster after all. It was just one game, and I was pretty sure that the wall was going to be more than a little occupied during the time I was here so I wouldn't have to face him. I would just do what any good Junior Leaguer would do and send a polite thank you note. (Time out for a joke here, it's an oldie but a goodie. Why won't a Junior Leaguer participate in an orgy? Too many thank you notes to write). Ted gave me wink and a knowing grin as if to say, "See, it's not so bad!" as we made our way into the section to our seats.

Wrong. It was just as bad as I thought it would be, and then some. Not the game itself, it was great. It's hard not to enjoy something that a child you care for loves and it was obvious to all around us that Theo loved hockey. Our seats were in the center of the home side, about ten rows up, right behind the home bench. Ice hockey and field hockey have pretty similar rules, so I was able to follow the game fairly well since I'd been dragged to several of Annie's high school games. To be fair, she had attended some of my races when I coxed, but somehow I think that it had to be way more interesting as a teenage girl to watch eight tall, well-muscled boys pull their oars on the direction of one rather loud short girl. As far as I could tell the major differences between the two are grass vs. ice, ball vs. puck, skirt and polo shirt with knee socks and cleats vs. pads, helmets, gloves and skates. Oh yeah, and fights did not usually break out among the girls playing field hockey with the regularity that they did during ice hockey. It must be a Y chromosome thing. Being a certified educational professional, I found it very difficult not to use my teacher voice and yell at them to cut it out. I guess that's what the refs were for, and most of the time they did a good job of it. I wondered to myself if any of them taught middle school as their day job. I was curious about the box the players were being sent to when they had done something illegal.

"What's the box all about Theo," I asked. I didn't bother asking Ted any questions while the game was proceeding, because I do value my life.

"That's the bad boy box where they make you sit and think about what you did wrong. Kinda like my thinking chair at home," he declared solemnly, taking a sip of his coke and continuing to stare at the players as a group of them hit against the Plexiglas shields around the rink, making me jump once again in my seat. I noticed that one of the players in the pile up was our host for the evening, but I knew from experience he was pretty solid and could probably take care of himself.

Sounds like I'm enjoying myself, right? Okay, I'll admit was having a great time right up until the intermission between the second and third period. Hockey idiot that I am I thought the game was over after the second period, but no, there was another period to be endured, I mean enjoyed. I was sitting there, innocently chatting with Theo and Ted, who decided I need to know some of the finer points of the game, when all of a sudden an usher came up, and asked if I was Miss Rhys-Hall? Before I could reply, Ted confirmed my identity to the young man, who proceeded to hand me what was now becoming an all too familiar envelope with a Capitals logo with my name on it in all too familiar handwriting. I thanked him profusely, and he said he hoped we would enjoy the rest of the game. Any chance I had of that went out the window when he handed me the damn envelope. I sat staring at it as if it might contain one of Ethel's friends. The buzzer went off signaling the start of the next quarter. Ted was still staring at me as if I had two heads.

"Aren't you going to open it Pip?" He asked as he leaned over Theo to see if he could ascertain its contents. "Are you afraid it will explode and throw coffee at you?"

"Funny Adamson, real funny," I replied continuing just to stare down at the object of his curiosity, and mine too if I was honest.

"Oh just put your big girl pants on and deal with it," he laughed.

"Alright keep your pants on Mr. Nosey. Jeez, you're as bad as Katie," I replied, ripping the envelope open and removing, wait for it, another note. This one read:

Dear Pippa,

I hope you and the boys are enjoying the game. When it is over, I wonder if all of you would like to meet me outside the locker room so that I may apologize for the other day in person. I also have some souvenirs that I think Theo might enjoy. Just find the usher at the top of the section, show him note, and he will show you where you can wait. If you are unable to do this, I understand, and I will send the things for Theo to your school on Monday. I hope however to see you after the game.

Tor

"Of course we're going aren't we Pippa? You'd like to meet some of the players wouldn't you Theo?" Inquired Ted.

"Please, please, please Aunt Pippa!"

"Way to play the Theo guilt card Ted. Of course we will poppet if you aren't too tired when the game is over," I replied to Theo, as I glared at Ted.

Yep, that's when all of the fun went out of the game for me. I spent the rest of the period running over the many possibilities of how the meeting would go. With my father's position and my grandmother's social life I had met lots of people who were considered by the public or themselves as important. Mostly I did fine, but sometimes, not so much. So far, my most embarrassing faux pas was when I got a chance to meet George Clooney when he was scouting our school as a possible location for a movie he was filming. As he was introducing himself to us, he put out his hand to me and said, "Hi, I'm George" and I replied "no shit". Not I admit, one of my more witty comebacks. So what was the worst that could happen tonight? He'd come out, we'd all introduce ourselves, Theo would get his souvenirs, Ted would get the autograph that he was dying to ask for, I'd get my in person apology, then we'd all go our merry ways, ne'er to meet again as the poets say. I didn't plan to be near anything liquid in a cup, so I should manage to stay dry. Besides, I really did owe Ted this one for putting up with me for the past year. He was right (not that I'd ever admit it to him.) I'd just put on my big girl pants and deal with it.

You know the saying, when you are looking forward to something, time drags, when you are dreading something time flies. It was definitely true tonight, because the next thing I knew, the game was over and we were gathering our stuff to go.

"You know Pippa; you could look a little bit excited about meeting Tor. It's not your execution. It's not even the school districts mandatory yearly review of blood borne pathogens and hazardous materials films. Who knows, you might even find that you enjoy it despite yourself," said Ted as we marched up the stairs to find the usher.

"Bite me, Adamson," I snapped, trying to keep a firm grip on Theo who was twirling up the stairs singing I get to meet Tor Edvardson; I get to meet Tor Edvardson under his breath. Jeez, Ted really had brainwashed the child. I guess I'd have to step up own sailing indoctrination this summer.

Maybe I wasn't on the Bataan Death March, but I felt like I was close to it. I'm not sure why the idea of meeting the wall was making me feel nauseous, but it was. All right if I am going to be honest with myself it could perhaps be he was the most handsome man I'd ever seen, and the last time I'd met a really handsome man, well you read what happened that time. I took a deep breath, presented the note to the usher, and let him lead us through a maze of corridors to the slaughter; I mean the place we'd wait to meet Tor.