My Lyn Ch. 01

Lyn looked me in the eyes, smiled lazily and then glanced away. I knew she was still seeking to tell me something but she wasn't quite sure how to begin. She brushed her long wavy hair away from her face as it slipped over her eyes and began her tale...

I met Ben during the first few weeks at college. He wasn't on my course or anything but he was in the Hall across the lawns from my residence and I'd noticed him a few times as we'd passed each other on the way to class or to the laundry building. He'd smile a little hesitantly and then we progressed to saying 'hi!' and so on until one day we ended up together at the laundry trying to sneak in when it was quiet to get our things washed. He clearly hadn't followed me as when I arrived his washload had already reached the spin cycle and I had no idea he was there either, but we were, for the first time, alone together. He said hello and, well, we introduced ourselves and discussed our courses and where our families came from and so on until Ben said: 'Fancy a coffee?'

'Sure', I replied. We went to Bennett's on the corner of Coney Road. And that was how it all started really. We went out for a drink the following Friday and then to the cinema to see some dreadful Estonian film which neither of us liked remotely but we stayed because I had chosen it and ... well, we stayed. We kissed for the first time on the walk home; I didn't know how you tell when you're in love [ I do now] and I didn't know if Ben was looking for something long-term or just some term-time fun. But I knew I wanted Ben to show me things I still didn't know and I knew that when he wanted those things that I would welcome it and encourage him. I felt confident he was really nice although at the same time I felt there was a side to him that I didn't know yet and that I needed to get to know. Not that he was holding back on me but rather he was nervous about letting me know things that might shatter what we had built up so far and which he obviously valued. As we both did.

I felt very comfortable with Ben from the beginning and I knew the physical side of our relationship was slowly expanding - we kissed, hugged, held hands. He put his hands on my bottom one day as we kissed and I pushed myself tightly up against him. I felt good and excited. He moved away after a few seconds and seemed just for a moment to avoid eye contact with me. I was puzzled but dismissed it thinking perhaps he was not much more experienced than I was...

oooooo0000oooooo

A couple of days later on a mild February afternoon we went for a walk along the river Calder. From the University main buildings you can walk about 4 miles upstream through woodlands and meadowland on a good, dry path. It was quiet, just a few ducks seemed to be shadowing us, maybe dreaming of wholemeal crusts that we hadn't thought to bring.

Every now and then we passed a wooden bench overlooking the river. The river banks had become rather overgrown recently and some of the benches looked onto vigorously growing stands of Himalayan balsam plants, or policemen's helmet as it's called locally. Children like to squeeze the seed heads and they explode in a twisting fashion in your hand and it almost feels like a little electric shock and you drop the seeds and spread the plant further upstream. In February just dead stalks impede the view. Elsewhere the benches themselves were rotting away or had been needlessly vandalized by bored local lads.

Ben saw ahead a bench that looked fine and gave us a nice view of the river as it curved its way around the village of Garston. The spire of St. Mary's could be seen in a hazy afternoon's winter mist a mile away. Ben pulled a small stainless steel flask from his grungy anorak pockets and a couple of somewhat crushed paper cups.

'I'm sorry you didn't bring the best china!' I said.

'Can't think of everything!' he said, but in a light-hearted sort of way. He then paused a moment, and started again but his tone seemed more serious and I wondered what was coming. Perhaps he wanted to let me down gently and tell me he'd met some other girl who had responded to him in a way that I didn't know how... I felt naive and a bit frightened. Not of Ben but of what was coming. He'd brought a flask, so he didn't want me to walk off nor did he intend to leave me sitting there stupidly holding a paper cup, or so I hoped.

'I need to tell you things', he said. 'I'll understand if you get up and walk off and never look at me again but I can't carry on being with you and enjoying the time we've had together unless I tell you about my home life and my family. I know you're going to be shocked and you'll need time to think things through or you'll tell me immediately you never want to see me again anywhere, any time.'

'Go on, then', I said. I was thinking his dad's a murderer in gaol somewhere, his mum's insane or something. My mind raced in confusion.

'My family lives in a way you won't understand', he said. 'It all started last summer. Clare, my sister was just eighteen, I was some way off my twentieth birthday and we went on holiday as usual to France. We usually went to a chalet complex on the French Atlantic coast - we'd been going to that area for years. Lots of people went topless on those beaches and mum always did. Clare had always worn a top and I had never seen her topless although I had begun to wonder what she was like as I suspected she had nice breasts from the way she now filled her costume.' Ben paused and looked up at me and blushed. I felt tense and unsure what to say. I wanted to know more as although I had never been topless on a beach I knew it was pretty normal even though my parents wouldn't have approved. I wasn't really shocked yet but I knew there was a lot more to come and didn't want Ben to stop before I had heard everything. Even if I couldn't handle what eventually he was going to say. I was excited in a way that was new to me and I imagined myself topless on that beach with Ben.' Go on, please, Ben', I said, very quietly.

'Well we'd only been there a couple of days and we'd soon realized, from all the amateurishly painted signs that there was a naturist beach about half a kilometer south of the beach we usually used. It was near a rather rocky stretch of the coast where the rocks offered a series of tiny inlets and miniature bays for the sun lovers. A lot of superbly tanned couples and groups, including families with kids of all ages, walked past. I had noticed Clare watching them go by.

[It was all thought out: I could tell Ben had spent a long time thinking about what he needed to say as at times it all came out in a rush as if he'd almost learnt some of it]

'On that day I forgot my CD player when we came down to the beach and it was pretty hot so I didn't feel like anything too strenuous even though there was a game of volleyball going on over by the sand dunes. I wandered back to the chalet for my player and a Frank Herbert paperback. I remember I was reading a lot of his books then.

I picked up what I'd come for and set off back towards the beach. When I got there everybody seemed to be either dozing or just lying there with their eyes closed. I said, rather obviously, 'I'm back.' I vaguely heard a couple of grunts and a 'Right' from someone. I flopped down between my mum and Clare who was about three feet away lying on her tummy. I started listening to a CD - no doubt something you wouldn't dream of putting on.'

'Can you remember what it was?' I asked.

'Oh, something like Blur or an early Oasis CD. I'm not sure. Do you like them?'

'No not really', I said a bit too sharply but then thought I didn't want to discourage him or sound like I was being cold towards him. I added: 'I haven't really got into music; with me it's been horses and ponies and stuff.' I laughed.

'I had it on loud so I didn't hear Clare ask my dad to put her suncream on her back or his reply that she should get me to do it. I often did do her back, it was normal. We've always got on really well even if we fight at times but it's not serious. We like being together really, and we're only 16 months apart in age. I responded to a bit of a kick on my shin from Clare with a shrug and sat up to reach across for the familiar orange bottle held out in her outstretched left arm. It was only then that I realised Clare, like her mum, was lying face down on her towel and had undone her bikini top. She had bought a very brief bikini this year with her paper round money. I thought Mum and Dad would be shocked when she showed it to them but they said it was very nice and didn't seem to mind. I remember thinking why can Clare do anything she wants when they stop me from doing all sorts of things I really want to do?' He laughed and I said: ' My younger sister gets to do things far sooner then I ever did. I sometimes think she's more experienced than I am.'

'More experienced?' said Ben.

'Yes, you know what I mean', I answered with a blink and a little shrug of my shoulders. I pressed his hand and said: 'Go on; I want to know what you did.'

'Honest?'

I nodded and shuffled along the bench to be slightly nearer to Ben. It was funny but I suddenly understood that Ben had enabled me to talk inwardly to myself about my desires and he had enabled me to recognise wishes that previously were locked away. Moreover I liked the feelings this engendered and did not regret any feeling that the genie was now out of the bottle. I wanted the consequences to happen, as long as Ben was around. The day was wearing down and it was getting noticeably cooler. I remember thinking it would be dark before I'd heard it all and I'd like to be in a nice warm place for some of what I thought Ben was going to say. My own fantasies had been switched on that afternoon and I was imagining all sorts of things might happen and I was enjoying those thoughts yet forcing them to the back of my mind as I urged Ben to carry on.

'I did her back pretty well as normal apart from the fact there were no bikini straps to negotiate. Then I worked down the back of her legs. She always got fidgety as I neared her feet so I always said she'd have to do her own feet. 'That's it', I said. She turned over and for the first time I saw her firm breasts. Small but not tiny as she lay on her back. Little white mounds surrounded by areas that were evenly tanned. Clare smiled at me and said with a clear light of mischief in her eyes: 'Do my front please.'

I didn't know what to say or what to do. Time and the world seemed to freeze as I listened for something from the 'shock and horror' department from mum or dad. Silence. Dad was facing away from us on his tummy reading some spy thriller so I looked at mum. She was looking at both of us and she had the slightest smile on her lips. She gave the very slightest nod and smiled again. Clare said 'Get on with it or I'll never get brown all over like the rest of you are!' Not exactly all over I thought but I knew what she meant. However I also knew that there was no way she needed me to do her chest: she actually wanted me to put the suncream on her breasts and I knew I wanted to do it. So I did, I gently worked my fingers around her beautiful right breast and I rubbed her nipples as I creamed them and they went really hard and erect. She smiled at me. I looked at mum and she was watching but didn't tell me to stop. Dad rolled our way and watched for a minute as I worked on her other breast and..'

Ben stopped suddenly as if he realised he had gone much further than he had intended before checking my reactions. I looked at him and bent my head towards his face and for the first time I initiated our kissing. It was a long and full kiss. I wanted to be somewhere alone with Ben, somewhere more private where we could be really close together and he could turn my emotions upside down with more of his story. I felt in a way that it was barely starting for he had said it was about how his family lived. Not just about him massaging his sister's tits on a beach in France. I knew I wanted Ben to touch my breasts. My nipples were hard and I desperately wanted to ask him to touch them but he couldn't. I said: 'Carry on a little and then let's go back.' I pressed my hand on his thigh near the top of his leg. He reached into my coat gently and just touched my left breast but there was a bra, blouse and sweater between his fingers and my taut skin.

'Dad said nothing but seemed to find what we were doing quite natural as he smiled across at mum and said: 'Shall I put your lotion on, Gail?'

'Yes, please' said mum. Dad got up and walked across, past Clare and me. I began to work my way down to her tummy.'

Ben looked at me and said simply: 'I thought you'd be disgusted or something by now.'

'No-one's ever talked to me like that before,' I answered. 'I can't help it but although I know my mum would be appalled, I enjoyed listening to you and I don't disapprove. It turned me on like I've never felt before.' Although there was no-one anywhere near us, I whispered: 'Ben, I wish it had been me on that beach.'

'Let's go back,' said Ben.

'Yes, to my room, please,' I replied. I knew my room-mate was away home for the weekend so we'd have the sitting room as well as my own room to ourselves.

oooooo0000oooooo

When we got back to my room we were both cold and I made some toast and a cup of tea. Our electric fire lacked romance but provided a focal point for us to sit in front of it and warm ourselves up nicely.

We chatted about our workload for the week. I took my sweater off after a while as I was soon quite warm and Ben put his hand on the inside of my thigh as we sat together. I smiled at him and said: 'I'm not sure what you want, Ben, but if you want us to go to bed together then I would like that too.' It came out as a stammer and I shook so much he must have been aware of it. I'd never said anything like that before in my life. I thought: 'He'll think I'm awful saying it like that.'

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to spoil things. I just don't know what you want, Ben.'

'I want you,' said Ben. 'But I don't want you until you understand about me. I haven't told you enough yet. I still think you won't want me when you know everything.' He blushed and moved his hand off my leg. I liked it when he blushed like that. It made me think something was coming that would arouse my feelings again.

I leaned into him gently and said:' I have always been the kind of girl my parents wanted me to be and in a way I still want to be. When I'm with you I want to please you, Ben. Tell me more about your family, please.' I nuzzled into him and reached out towards his crutch but he edged away slightly giving me, at the same time, a slight smile and a squeeze of my wrist. I felt hopeful that we were able to continue together but at the same time a cloud of mystery left me wondering.

oooooo0000oooooo

Ben resumed his story. 'Where was I? Oh, yes, I finished putting Clare's suncream on her tummy and left her to do her legs and feet. A bit later she rolled my way and said: 'Turn over, kid. I'll do your back.' She did my back very slowly; it seemed and then slowly worked her way up my legs. It was quite exciting. Then she said: 'And over you go again!' I turned onto my back and she poured quite a lot of suncream onto my chest and started to work it in. She pinched my nipple as she rubbed the cream in and said 'Sorry!' but I didn't think she was! When she did the other nipple she pinched that one too so it went quite hard and she giggled. Mum turned her head to see what we were doing [dad was rubbing cream on her back] and grinned at Clare. Honest she just grinned at her!'

'Shall I carry on, Lyn?' said Ben.

'Yes, I want you to get to the bits that you seem to be putting off getting to!' I said with what I hoped was an encouraging smile and a quick kiss on his neck.

'No, it's not that I'm avoiding them, but you need to know how things happened. It wasn't sudden. I mean it wasn't planned but I think my parents could have stopped it happening and didn't want to and I now know they were happy for things to go that way. It just seemed natural to us whatever others might think. But I am afraid of you disapproving of me and my family or never wanting to meet any of them.'

I just said, softly: 'Go on...'

'Well, that night we went out to a pizzeria for our evening meal. We all had some red wine to drink with our 'quat' saisons'. It was a good walk back to the chalet through the pine wood that is a couple of hundred meters from the beach. None of us was drunk or even a bit merry but we were very relaxed and it seemed easy to talk and say what you felt without fear of being laughed at or told off. Dad said: 'You two are old enough to make up your own minds now about what you want to do about this but your mum and I are going to go to the naturist beach tomorrow. We've wanted to for a long time but we didn't want you to go until you were old enough to decide for yourselves about things. Watching you both today made us think perhaps you're old enough now, both of you. If you want to come that will be wonderful but if one of you wants to stay on the beach we were on today then we would like you both to stay together and then we'll report back what it's like to you tomorrow night. OK?'

Mum added: 'No pressure on either of you. Just go with the flow and do what seems natural to you.'

I said: ' I was surprised you didn't stop us today'. In my mind I was still absorbing what my mum had just said. What did she mean by 'do what seems natural'? How far might that take me and Clare or for that matter, all of us? I was starting to see my parents in a new light. At the same time I realized they had waited until they felt we were ready and old enough to talk openly as adults about these things.

Mum gave that smile again and said: 'I enjoyed watching you and you both enjoyed touching each other, didn't you? No-one got hurt; in fact I think it was a nice feeling for everyone. So how can it be wrong?'

'Some people would say it was wrong,' I said.

'Narrow-minded people who would probably wish they were in your shoes if they were honest with themselves', said mum. 'So how do you both feel about tomorrow?'

I started to form an answer in my mind when my sister burst in straightaway. 'Oh, yes, please I want to go the nudist beach with you all!'

'Naturist' I corrected her.

'Same difference' said Clare, laughing, then gently: 'Hey, you will come won't you, Ben?'

'I wouldn't miss it for the world', I said staring straight into my sister's eyes.

Clare's eyes met mine and she smiled her nicest smile and winked at me prettily. Dad laughed and said: 'OK, that's settled then. We'll aim to leave here by about 10 o'clock if you two sleepy-heads need a lie in.'

It was getting pretty dark as we reached the perimeter of the chalet complex. Clare and I were now walking behind my parents. They were holding hands. Suddenly Clare took a firm hold of my hand and we then walked together, hand in hand, back to our chalet. Mum had turned once and must have noticed but said nothing. I heard her say 'Well done' to Clare later but I wasn't sure just what she was referring to. Was it the suncream episode, the holding hands or her enthusiasm for the beach tomorrow? Or it could have been for closing the shutters and tidying the bathroom. Maybe I was imagining too much.

oooooo0000oooooo

I said to Ben: 'Just wait a minute and I went into my study bedroom. Quickly I took my blouse off and removed my bra. I then slipped my blouse back on but fastened several fewer buttons than before. I took the belt from my jeans and undid the button at the waist so only the zip kept them together. It would slip down easily. I returned to the sitting room and sat down on the floor next to Ben. 'No moving away this time', I said and pulled him onto me. We kissed deeply and he fondled my breasts through the thin cotton material as we kissed. I reached for the top of his leg and slid my hand between his thighs. Ben groaned slightly, gently fingered my nipple through my blouse and said: 'Nearly there, let me finish please. Then you'll understand why.' He resumed: