My One Big Affair Ch. 02

As we strolled out of the woods and across the car park, I opened up the topic of our partners and families. Jack interrupted me.

"Look Cat I don't know where we're going with this, I don't know what'll happen to us and how long anything will last" he said a little indelicately I thought my heart missing a beat when I pondered. "Maybe he'll stop it now." He went on. "I've never done anything like this, I've never been unfaithful to my wife and quite frankly, I've never really strongly wanted to."

I looked at him rather quizzically I suspect as I said, genuinely enquiring of him. "But you do now?"

His arms around me, his opened lips on mine and his tongue deep in my mouth was answer enough really. But the wonderful words he used totally confirmed that he did.

"I've never desired a woman so much as I so utterly desire you."

He whispered making me whimper. He went on.

"I've thought of little else than making love to you for weeks Cat."

That crashed into my mind giving me all the extra assurance I didn't really even need but so adored having.

He went on.

"But I think we need to agree one thing Cat."

"And what's that?" I asked now confident that he wasn't trying to end things before they'd hardly begun.

"I think we should try to avoid talking about our families don't you?"

"Yes, yes I do," I replied both relieved that was all he was going to say but also agreeing with him.

We reached the cars and stood there for a while.

"So Cat what do we do now?"

"I don't know," I replied moving slightly closer to him and brushing a lock of his hair away that had attractively tumbled down his forehead. "I've never done anything like this before either you know."

"No, no of course you haven't. Forgive me I shouldn't have asked that."

"Don't be silly, that's ok," I whispered, glancing around the small car park surrounded by trees and seeing no one I kissed him softly on the lips. "You don't need forgiveness for anything."

A smile on his ruggedly handsome face he said as he cupped my breast.

"Not even for doing this?"

I smiled back. "Especially not for doing that" as I pressed myself against him.

"Or" he went on gently pinching my nipple. "Suggesting we need to make love."

"No Jack not for that even though............." I hesitated before going on. "It is such a big step isn't it?"

"Yes love it is. And I sometimes wonder............" he said hesitantly. Whether we'll be brave or silly enough to take that step. Do you know what I mean?"

As he said that with such plain sincerity and honesty on his face I think the last resistance to me falling in love with him simply evaporated. It was some time, though, before I could admit that to myself let alone him. I slid into his arms and loved the feeling of them closing round me. He made me feel safe and so wanted.

"Yes darling" I whispered my mouth pressed against his chest thus muffling what I said. "I know exactly what you mean. It's terrible isn't it?

And that was the theme of our thinking and talking and hence, our relationship over the next ten days or so.

I was totally torn. Emotionally bisected. I had some of the most exciting moments and anguishing times I've ever experienced. When I was with Jack I wanted him so badly and I would have done anything he asked of me. When alone I visualised us together, firstly just naked, then making love and then on my more flights of fancy, living together. But when I was with Richard and the children reality clicked in and deep down I felt there was no future and if that was the case should there be a present I wondered? If longer term we were bound to fail then why break my vows, why cheat and lie and why be unfaithful to all I'd held dear for so long? But almost as soon as I posed that question in my mind my body interrupted the logical thought patterns with a powerful answer.

'Because you need a good fucking by a man you love as opposed to one you're becoming to find tedious and unloving and who pays so little attention to you!' It advised me, probably correctly.

I, and so he told me, he as well, varied from.

Thinking. 'This has to stop."

To Jack undoing my bra and me taking it off.

From. "We mustn't go further."

To me holding his erection inside his opened trousers and him running his fingers around and inside my pussy.

From "We really should end it."

To us coming so near to making full love on two occasions.

Once when I sat on his lap facing him and he undid my top and unclipped my bra and I got his erection out. It was pressing right against my panties. Right against my soaked pussy lips inside them. He pulled the material aside and touched me there and I nearly climaxed. I pressed his hard cock against my clit and we both knew we were so close, but somehow we stopped.

The next day, though, I was leaning back against a tree deeper in the woods. I'd taken my bra off and his hands had pushed the skirt I'd purposefully worn right up round my waist. His trousers were also undone and I'd been stroking his erection. It would have been so easy, so simple and straightforward to have just done it had the dogs not started barking and warning us of someone approaching.

That short period of nearly 'doing it' got harder to take when we were apart but more amazingly exciting when together. Looking back I'm, in some ways pleased we didn't' rush into full sex for that week or so of that heavy petting in those woods and in his car was so exciting that I shall treasure it for the rest of my life.

It was teaming down. One of those torrents that you just know is going on all day. There was no way we could walk the dogs but we met in any case.

"Follow me," he smiled from his car to mine.

We went deeper into the forest down ever narrower lanes until we reached a dead end in a clearing. I followed him across to the furthest corner that was slightly hidden from the rest of the clearing by the way the trees hung down. Jack got out mouthing to me through the noise of the rain on the leaves to stay where I was. He undid the tailgate of my BMW estate and took Brad out and put him in his car. He then got into the back of mine throwing his waterproof over the back of the seat.

"Is madam gonna climb over or walk round?" he asked laughing.

It was there in the back of my car, in a clearing in a forest, with the rain pouring down where all my vows and beliefs went out the window. There where I was unfaithful and committed adultery for the first time. There where the full sexual side of our affair started for it was there in that car in that forest that Jack fucked me for the first time. It wasn't, though, as it should have been, not as I'd envisaged it. No having sex for the first time outside my marriage shouldn't have been like that. And afterwards as I sat there crying my heart out as Jack tried to console me, we agreed it had been a disaster.

"Perhaps that's fate telling us something" I sobbed as I sat there naked above the waist my breasts jiggling as I cried.

"No darling" he said stroking and caressing me.

It had started going wrong when we'd laid back into the corner of the seat. It wasn't comfortable, there didn't seem to be enough room but we were both so aroused it hadn't mattered at first. As we kissed and cuddled so we'd started to undress each other and that also wasn't easy. Nothing seemed to go smoothly and continually he was apologising for hurting me or I was moving around adjusting my position. My blouse was open, my bra was under the front seat and my skirt that again I'd worn exactly for this reason, was around my waist. For the first time Jack started to take my panties down and for some reason I panicked a bit.

"What if anyone comes" I said?

"Well darling I'm rather hoping we both do that he replied a little insensitively" tugging on the white satin panties that were now half way down my thighs. I lay there as good as naked with just the bundled up skirt around my waist and tummy providing any cover for my body as he undid his jeans and pushed them down.

It wasn't how I wanted my lover to gaze upon my nude, well almost, body for the first time. It wasn't the place where I wanted us to consummate our affair and it wasn't the time for us to do that. Not in mid-morning in the back of car in car-park in a rainstorm. It was altogether too uncomfortable, too dangerous, too rushed and, really, overall too sordid for this very special event.

I wasn't relaxed. Although aroused when we started and when he kissed and he caressed my breasts and ran his hand up my bare legs I didn't feel as I normally did when about to have sex. There wasn't the powerful feelings, the irritation around my pussy, the heat flowing out from that and the heaviness in my breasts. I guess I may have been physically aroused but for the above reasons I wasn't fully tuned in that way emotionally.

But we tried to do it. My knickers did come off and joined my bra under the seat. Jack's jeans and boxers were pushed down right to beneath his knees and he did lie between my awkwardly opened legs. My breasts were crushed against his chest but, due to the situation, that was covered in a shirt and a sweater so I didn't feel his skin against mine. We held each other and as he pressed his hardness against me and I felt the tip of his penis nuzzling against my lips I couldn't stop myself from moaning.

"Yes Jack, yes."

He pulled away and fumbling in his pockets eventually found a condom that due to the cramped position he struggled to open and put on. At last it was on and he was again pressing the bulbous head right against my lips.

I knew, though, that something was wrong and so did he. It wasn't just that he was trying to enter me from the wrong angle, but also, amazingly, I wasn't wet. As much as he pressed, so my dryness resisted his entrance and my body tightened up even more. And as much as he was denied penetration so his mind began to panic and his hardness reduced.

A few weeks later we were able to laugh at how, with our first real sex, I dried up and he couldn't keep it up. But in the back of my car that morning it was far from a laughing matter.

It's a very difficult subject to confront isn't it? It's not easy to talk about sexual failure especially sitting in the back of a car our clothes in disarray. It's hard to debate a woman not becoming lubricated or a man losing his erection for both can imply a lack of fancying of the other person. In our cases, though, it was nothing to do with fancying the other, it was all about, guilt, fear and trepidation.

"I'm sure it'll be ok," he said encouragingly as we both struggled back into our clothing.

"I know Jack but maybe someone's telling us something, maybe it's fate warning us advising us saying don't do it?"

"Cat if you really believe that and feel it's best not to then we won't. But," he went on quietly his soft fingertips gliding across my still inflamed breasts sending shivers of strong desire through me. "I don't really think you do." He took my chin in his fingers and turning my face so it was looking at him asked. "Do you?"

"No." I whispered looking away for I didn't want him for some reason to see the lust and desire that was probably showing in my eyes. "But, er, um, oh I don't know," I sighed burying my face in my hands.

And there was a lot more of ers and ums over the next few days when we walked the dogs. The weather wasn't very nice so we stopped the coffee and took to going to that car park instead. Again putting the dogs in one car we'd get in the other and we'd kiss and cuddle. Well more than kiss and cuddle for now under the front seat had the regular visit of my bra and often my panties as well. For now we were becoming more and more comfortable in doing everything except having full penetrative sex. For now Jack made me cum every day and sometimes two or three times. For now I was regularly taking his erection from his jeans and for now I was also masturbating him. Full sex was becoming inevitable. But it was an inevitability that we both resisted. In a way we were like teenage virgins knowing that we would have sex, but realising the enormity of it so we found ways to put it off.

But it wasn't with Jack that I had sex next. Well not physically. It may have been emotionally that I received him into my body but the physical intruder wasn't Jack but my husband Richard. It was so ironic I thought as he fucked me that very night that earlier in the day I'd come so near to being fucked by another man. As Richard thrust in and out of me I recall thinking.

"God I'm so wet for him, a man I'm starting to dislike, yet for one I'm falling in love with I was as dry as a bone."

Most nights before going to bed I sit in front of my dressing table to brush my hair and finish removing my make-up. Sometimes I wear a dressing gown, often, particularly when Richard and I were getting on well, I would be naked but that night I was just wearing my panties. I remember they were light blue. I also remember they weren't the ones that had earlier been under the seat of my car. Richard was in bed reading and watching the news.

Suddenly he got out and without a word came up behind me, kissed the back of my head, put his arms around me, grabbed my breasts and pressed his evident erection against my back.

"What are you doing?" I asked sounding surprised and shocked maybe because my mind with regards to sex was now focused totally on one man and that wasn't Richard.

"Trying to have sex with the most ravishing woman I know" he replied rather smarmingly.

"Well maybe she doesn't feel like it?" I responded.

"Well maybe this'll help her feel a little more like it," he went on stroking and pinching my nipples with one hand in just the way he knew I liked it as he slid the other down between my legs.

The combination of his erection pressing into me, his hands on my breasts and pussy and the thoughts of what Jack and I had so nearly done and, indeed, what we had done earlier today, got to me. I didn't want them to and I tried to stop them but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I just couldn't stop myself responding to my husband although as I did it was Jack's hands that were on my body, his lips on mine and his cock in my hand.

In my mind, in my wishful imaginations it was Jack that pulled me up and pushed me towards the bed. It was him that kissed and caressed me and it was his hardness that I stroked and rubbed.

And as Richard turned me over saying. "I want you this wa," it was Jack's erection that momentarily pressed right against the entrance to my anus. I panicked for a moment thinking that Richard was going to force his way in there but he didn't. He knew that I wouldn't want that and that I have a slight distaste for anal penetration, well at least by a penis, so he slid past that place and was quickly inside me.

"My my, madam is wet, you must have wanted it, or me very badly," he said as he pushed his way right up me until I could feel his pubes against my bottom and his balls against my thighs.

Then to my consternation, amazement and remorse he fucked me to an enormous and incredibly satisfying double orgasm.

I felt terrible the next day. It was as though I'd been unfaithful to Jack. Even though neither of us had discussed sex with our partners I sort of felt that we wouldn't be having it with them. I felt that I should have been able to resist my husband and keep myself "pure and clean" for my lover, if that makes any sense. In effect my rather convoluted logic was saying.

"Don't give your husband his conjugal rights while you're considering being unfaithful to him by committing adultery with your lover."

Also in some ways I, rather desperately at times, wanted to ask Jack whether he still had sex with Fiona but, fearing the answer and him asking the ,do you and him' question, I thought that some things are best left unsaid

"Cat would you consider" Jack asked a week or so after the abortive session in my car. "A hotel one afternoon?"

It's odd but until he mentioned it, it hadn't occurred to me that a couple could take a hotel room for a few hours. Silly I know but totally true. And when Jack explained that you could settle your bill with the express check out from your TV so no one saw you leave and you avoided the embarrassment of seeing a check- out clerk it sounded perfect and was of course the obvious answer to our dilemma. The logical solution to our problem. The appropriate way to achieve our objective of having sex in nice surroundings and not our own homes.

We set the date a couple of days later and I announced to my daughter, Richard was in the States and my son was at football training that I'd be at a meeting in town and wouldn't be home when she got back from school. I told Richard on the phone that the meeting might go on and could involve drinks and maybe even dinner for the agency was introducing me to a new client. I'd just started back to work for I found doing nothing both boring and mind numbing so I'd gone back to my earliest trade copywriting for an ad agency.

It was on a freelance basis so that meant I could pretty much work when I wanted and apart from the occasional meeting I could work from home, This was much more convenient for looking after the children, tending to the house, walking the dog and, of course, for having an affair. And that was what I considered I'd been doing for some time even though it hadn't yet been fully consummated. In my mind that was not relevant or pertinent. I'd been both emotionally and physically unfaithful by letting Jack be so intimate with me and by me wanting so much to be with him. I was rejecting my husband more and more even though that night after my near shag in the car the orgasms he, or was it the thought of Jack, gave me did raise even more concerns and conflicts in my mind about just how crazy and complicated my life was becoming.

It became even more complicated after the next Wednesday, the day we'd agreed to go to the hotel. The day we'd agreed to have lunch together. The day we'd both made excuses to our partners so we could spend most of the day together. Yes the day we spent some seven hours in bed making the most delicious and comprehensive love together. The day that Jack and I became lovers and the day we both were unfaithful for the first, and second and third times as well actually, to our respective spouses.

I was acutely conscious as I travelled up to London by train that I was wearing stockings and suspenders. The short, tightness of the black, crepe dress reminded me of that with almost every step I'd taken walking from the cab to the train at St Albans station and with every movement I made as I sat on the bench seat for the forty minute ride to Kings Cross. I wasn't used to wearing stockings and suspenders. Although I'd hitched them up as high as I could I was aware that if the skirt rode up a little then a bit of my stocking tops would show and if I moved suddenly causing the skirt to ride up further then all of them would be exposed. I like to sit with one leg crossed over the other but that was impossible so it was quite an uncomfortable journey sitting with my knees pressed together. Even like that the hem of the skirt was dangerously some four or five inches above my knees and, due to the thin, clingy material, there were suggestive lumps on each thigh where the small buckles of the suspenders made indentations. The sacrifices and risks one takes for an affair I smiled as we pulled in to the statio

I'd decided not to use the Piccadilly line, but instead to get a cab to Park Lane where I was meeting Jack. Walking along the platforms and going up the long escalator I don't think I was kidding myself when I thought I could feel men's eyes on me most of the time. I suppose I was a little overdressed to most late morning tube travellers. The black dress was tight, it was fairly short and it was sleeveless. Although it was June I was wearing what men may have conjectured were tights or stockings. I was wearing strappy shoes with high heels and carrying one of those small handbags with a pair of long chains to go over my shoulder. My hair had been expensively made to look as though I'd been pulled through a hedge backwards and I was wearing full make up. I felt good and hoped I looked good and deep down wondered if others thought.