My Revelation Ch. 02-04

"I would never say no to you, James. No matter what," I said in a voice that felt both emphatic and intimate. I felt a kind of energy race through me, and I began to feel aroused. I realized that I was declaring my devotion and my obedience to a man whom I hoped and prayed would someday agree to be my master. I had to prove myself worthy.

"Sounds like we're on the same page, Jack. Good boy," James said, barely above a whisper. "Now, let's take a closer look at these little messages you sent me. How about it?" James said, casting a searching gaze at me. I felt as though I was being appraised; as though I was a car James was thinking of buying. But here it was a matter not of how fast, but how far the new toy would go.

"Yes, James. I'd like that very much," I said. I wondered which one he would choose first. I knew that some would make me feel more embarrassed than others.

James picked up a peach-colored square. "Let's see," he said in a casual tone. My heart quickened. I knew which one this was.

James read from the paper:

" 'I kneel before you as I would a god.

With your proud, engorged phallus;

your fearless mind.' "

"I kneel before you...," James repeated slowly. "You know, I can kinda dig that. In fact, let me come right out and say that I do. Have my own little devotee. Yeah."

"A slave," I ventured in little more than a whisper.

"I have a friend in Atlanta. Black dude I was in college with. He has a slave. A white guy. He says it's about the craziest mind game he's ever been in. He loves it. Says this white guy will do just about anything he tells him to do. imagine that. At first, I thought that was pretty far out. You know, like too far out. But then, you've got two adults doing something that works for them. Who's to judge."

"I feel similarly, James," I said, encouraged by his reasoning. "And, as you pointed out, they're both getting something they deeply want." I took a sip from my drink. " Boy, I kind of envy that guy. The white guy, I mean."

"Well, maybe you won't need to envy him so much, " James said, a sly, cocksure look on his face. These words had my little penis shifting in my pants. James was taking to this, but he was taking his time. He seemed practically blase about it. I felt it was his way of saying that he was the one at the controls. He would decide how things would be done. He'd shape the situation to his own satisfaction, and I would be molded to fit into it.

James picked up a lavender-toned square of paper from the bar. I was less nervous now, and was actually hoping that the note he'd chosen would be an especially embarrassing one. I wasn't disappointed.

"Hmmmm," James mused. "This one.....well, I'd say it goes right to the heart of the matter. See what you think."

James took a moment, fingering and flattening the paper. He read:

It would be a great honor

to lick and kiss

your wonderful ass.

"Now, Jack, I'd like you to elaborate on this interesting little sentiment for me. Tell me just what you have in mind."

Indeed, I was more than a little embarrassed by the note and even more so at the prospect of telling James just how much I yearned to perform the task in question. James was challenging me. That was clear. It was, I realized, his first order. His first command. Now it was for me to obey him. Yes, it would be difficult, but James was there holding the hoop, and I needed to jump through it. I surprised myself with the degree to which I revealed my longing.

"Well, James," I began. "It's just that I know you are superior to me in ways that can never change. You're confident and I'm timid. I'm a coward. That's one. You're also in much demand as a sex partner. I know you've been in bed with half the women in the office and none of them seems to have regretted it, to say the least."

James nodded and said, "Go on."

"I guess I see in you a manliness and power that comes naturally to you, James. Me, I'm no good in the sack. If I go to bed with someone, the whole thing is over in twenty minutes. That's if it ever gets started. So I just am awed by your abilities and your poise." I was beginning to get emotional, and I had to stop for a moment. James ordered two more drinks.

"Okay, Jack. I get what you're saying. Now how does that relate to this?" he said, holding up the note.

"Well, I guess I see, you know, kissing your ass as an expression of the awe I feel towards you. It excites me terrifically imagining myself kneeling behind you making love to you there. I so mean it when I say it would be a great honor, James. Truly," I said, quickly brushing a tear from my cheek. All of what I'd said was both scary and wonderfully freeing.

"I think that's enough for now," James said, signaling for the check.

"Next week, I'm not sure which evening, you'll come over to my place, and we'll get into this a bit further. Keep your calendar open."

"Yes, James."

James handed Cal a credit card. While the bartender was working on the check, James turned to me.

"This has been an illuminating session, I'd say. What do you think?"

"I'm....I'm...so happy," I said, feeling tears begin again. I blinked them away.

"That's good," James said. "But Jack, I want you to keep your emotions in check when we're in a public place like this. I don't want people thinking I'm spending my time with some crying sissy. All right?"

"Yes, sir," I said promptly. "I'm sorry that happened. I won't let it happen again."

"I know you won't," James said, looking at his watch. "Got to go now. "

"Goodbye," I said. "And thank you. Thank you, James."

I sat there at the bar a while longer with a fresh drink. My mind felt utterly exploded. I could have been on Mars or in the Mojave desert. I was that uprooted from my "normal" life. But one thing was becoming clear: who and what I was.