My Role Model, My Brother

"Give me some pointers on what a date should be," Jack let out a sigh. "I'm sure you realize I've never been on one."

So I was right about that. "Oh, brother," I giggled. "Take her to a place you'd want to go and think she might. And make sure to be yourself. That's the key. Be you. If you hit it off, you're on to date number two, if not, no hard feelings."

"Seems simple enough," Jack smiled and then his eyebrows narrowed as if he was deep in thought. "Would you be willing to waste a Sunday afternoon going on a date with your dear old brother tomorrow before I have to work? Sort of a dry run for me? You know, to give me advice or tell me when I mess up."

I didn't hesitate. "Yes," I almost shouted and then put my hand over my mouth for a second before politely repeating it. "Yes I would," I blushed.

"Outstanding! Do you think you can be ready by ten thirty in the morning?"

"Sure."

It was another restless night. I dreamt Jack and I were old, grey, and still living together. I was up before dawn even came, the excitement of my day overwhelming my need for sleep. I stood in front of my closet, wishing above all else that I could have bought a new outfit to show off to Jack.

At a snail's pace, the clock slowly ticked away. I showered. I meticulously styled my hair and put on makeup. I chose a light blue sundress, not really knowing what we were going to do, I went for casual but nice. It was the most I have ever done for a date. It was only 7:30. Damn. I spent the rest of the morning double and triple checking my ensemble as well as watching the clock before a knock at my bedroom door at 10:25 signaled my brother was ready.

"You sure you still want to do this?" I could hear the slight uneasiness in Jack's trembled voice.

"Of course," I answered as I opened my door.

The reaction on my brother's face was priceless. "Wow, Audrey. You look amazing."

I blushed even though that response was what I was hoping to receive. I knew my brother wouldn't let me down. "Thanks. You don't look bad yourself." He actually looked really good in his black polo shirt and jeans.

"I feel underdressed now." Jack pulled at his shirt and I could tell he was about to decide to change.

I grabbed his hand and smiled, "You're fine," and then I pulled him down the hall. "Let's get going." I was too excited to wait and didn't feel the need for him to change.

When we got to his car, he did something unexpected. He opened my door. It took my brother to be the first one of my dates to do this simple act. We went to lunch and he seemed surprised when I sat next to him in the booth instead of across.

"We're on a date, remember?"

Jack put his arm around me and chuckled, "Yes we are." I loved the feel of him holding me.

We went to the park. It was a wonderful day and the sun was shining. I really wanted to hold his hand but he seemed reluctant to initiate touching me as we walked around the pond making small talk. So I acted. I wrapped my arm in his and it sent a warm feeling throughout my body as if I belonged there. I nestled my head on his shoulder and I'm sure I gave off a dreamy look to the passerby's. I didn't see it, but I felt his body tense for the slightest of moments as if he wanted to say something about me draping myself to him, but he let it go. We soon came across a peddler selling ice cream. It was romantic as we sat, eating our ice cream, me cuddled in his arms as we watched the pond life do their business in the water.

All too soon, we were heading back home. Right as Jack opened the door for me to step inside our house, I leaned up and kissed my brother on the lips. I don't know what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was because it was the best date I had ever been on. Maybe I didn't want the afternoon to end. I don't know, but it was a special moment for me when our lips met and I absolutely held it too long for his comfort while I wanted it to be longer. I had never kissed him on the lips before and he was definitely taken aback by it.

"I just thought we should end this date the right way." I playfully put my index finger to his nose and scratched it lightly. "Don't worry about anything. You were perfect today."

Jack had to go to work and I, well, I had to sort out my feelings. I rushed to my bedroom and shut the door. I didn't get farther than that. I leaned back against it, my heart pounding like a bass drum in my chest and my stomach was full of butterflies. All this time I wanted someone like Jack but I now realize I wanted Jack. I was in love with my brother. All those suppressed feelings that I subconsciously had since I was twelve consciously came to the forefront. What a revelation! Just that simple statement brought a smile to my lips.

I didn't know what to do. Am I a freak? I'm positive Jack didn't have an interest in me like that and now I had to contend with Claire. I logged on to the internet in hope of finding some precedence for my situation. Some guidelines I could follow to somehow fix me or land my brother. What I found was unbelievable. I watched and read as much as I could. Okay, it was mostly porn that popped up, but at least I know I'm not alone. I found my justification and it didn't take much. Someone had to write those stories, direct and act in those movies, and take those pictures whether they were actual brothers and sisters or not. Now I just had to change Jack's perception of me.

Through my 'research', I made a plan. Wear virtually no clothes around my brother when we were alone, speak in double entendre and innuendos, touch him as much as possible, and, if I get bold enough, let him catch me masturbating while I call out his name. That last one will be tough.

That night, it was 'execution' time. Jack usually got home around 11:30, so I decided to make a late dinner, in the sexiest underwear I own, a black lacey bra and panty combination. I felt on display, as I have never worn such little clothing before.

"Wow, something smells good." I heard Jack announce from the doorway.

"I wanted to make you something special for taking me out earlier today." I called back.

I placed our steaks on the table and stood just out of view from where my brother would be coming from. Seconds seemed like hours and I was about to chicken out when he entered.

"What did you..." Jack started and then stopped, his eyes wide and mouth agape. He was stunned temporarily before he politely turned around. "Audrey, where are your clothes?"

"What do you mean?" I was trying my best not to be nervous.

"I mean, why are you in your underwear?"

"Oh, don't be a prude," I wrapped my arms around his body. God, even after work he smells good. "It's comfortable and it covers the same as my bikini." My hands caressed his covered chest.

"That's different and you know it."

"How?"

Jack grabbed my hands to hold them still. He was deep in thought and it was the first time I felt I had him on the ropes in a conversation. I loved this closeness and wished it could last forever. "Wait, you don't own a bikini. Your swimsuit is a one piece."

I was getting frustrated. I forcefully removed my hands from him. "You know I'm a woman now, you can't tell me how to dress!" I stomped in earnest to my room, flung myself onto my bed, and began crying. My plan had already failed.

"Audrey," Jack was barely audible as he lightly knocked on my door. "Can I come in?"

"No." My door opened anyway. "I said you couldn't come in."

"I'm not, but it doesn't mean I can't talk to you from here." Jack then sighed. "Audrey, I'm sorry. I suppose I still have the mindset that you're my kid sister and you need to be protected. You're right. You're a woman now and I need to treat you as such. If you want to parade around the house in your underwear, I'll accept your decision. Just promise me you'll not compromise your modesty in public. It'll make me worry too much." Success! I glanced up and saw Jack leaning with his back against the doorjamb, staring blankly at the floor. "And it would mean a lot if you would come and eat dinner with me."

I don't think Jack even realized I got up and only turned his head when I walked towards him. I gave him a sheepish smile and kissed him on the cheek. "I promise." Remembering my touch as much as I possibly can rule, I put my arm into his. "C'mon, foods getting cold."

The next couple of days, my plan was in full swing. I pranced around Jack nearly naked at every possible chance. I brushed up against him and was more affectionate than I've ever been. Plenty of lingering kisses, including several on the lips, and I smashed my body under the guise of hugs at an alarming rate. I'm sure I caught him staring at me on several occasions, but that could have been my overactive mind. Still, no matter what I did, Thursday arrived, and with it, his date with Claire.

"Hey Audrey, do I look okay?" Jack was wearing a white button down shirt and black slacks.

"Wow, my brother is hot!" I had never seen him so dressed up before and just looking at him made my body tingle. I wish it were for me. "So where you taking Claire?"

"The community center is putting on a rendition of Grease. Do you think Claire would like seeing a musical?"

"Relax big guy, she'll love it." The sad part is Claire really will love it. So would I.

"Thanks," Jack smiled. "Wish me luck."

I followed Jack to the door and didn't take my eyes off him until his pick-up truck was out of sight. Even then, I waited an extra ten minutes hoping he'd come back and take me instead. I was completely downtrodden as I opened the fridge to see what I wanted for dinner. I wasn't hungry at all, but I couldn't really think of anything else to do. Jack haunted my thoughts and it made me feel worse. I settled for a gourmet meal of a carton of chocolate peanut butter ice cream. I sat in silence at the table for a few minutes before mom came in and sat next to me.

"You look depressed," Mom put a hand on top of my one hand that wasn't trying to devour all the ice cream in a single scoop.

Her words were a major understatement, one in which I only acknowledged with a halfhearted grunt as I stuffed my face.

"You love him, don't you?"

My eyes shot up to meet her gaze and I choked down what was in my mouth. "Who?"

"Jack."

"Uh." It was all I could get out. How did she know?

"You know, I never did apologize to you about what happened that night four years ago. I'm sorry Audrey. I really am. I know I was in a bad place then, but that's no excuse for allowing something bad to happen to you. I hope someday you can forgive me."

Mom was going all over the place with this conversation and I was having a hard time keeping up. "It's okay, Mom. I forgive you."

"I appreciate that, but I haven't earned it yet," Mom softly chuckled. "Anyways, I know I'm in no position to tell anyone how to live their life, so you have my blessing. I may not understand it, but at least I know he'll take care of you the right way and not do what your father did to me."

"Who?"

"Jack," Mom smiled while shaking her head. "I'm giving you permission to follow your heart."

"You mean..."

"Yes, but don't make me say it."

I had tears in my eyes as I hugged Mom. I can't believe she's allowing me to try to seduce my brother. "Thank you, Mom."

"I know it might be difficult, but you might want to try and be honest with him," Mom squeezed me one last time. "Good luck."

I was having mixed emotions. I was overjoyed Mom was supporting my feelings but I was distraught that Jack was out with another girl. I paced my room and waited until I heard the sound of his truck pull in the driveway. I ran to my window and peered into the darkness. My heart sunk as I saw my brother helping Claire out of the passenger side. Worse than that, she looked beautiful in a way I've never seen before. She always wore jeans and a t-shirt, but tonight she wore a pink blouse and a black skirt. They made their way to the porch and stopped. They exchanged some words before Jack kissed Claire. He kissed her. That slut, that should have been me! Anger filled my body as I watched them enter the house. Why is she still here! I crept down the hallway.

"All right, you go pick a movie and I'll make the popcorn." Jack's voice sounded so happy.

I ducked into the bathroom as Claire walked by. I waited until I heard my brother again before sneaking back out.

"The American President? Good pick. I love this movie."

I knew that. Lucky Bitch.

"Me too," Claire sounded pleased with herself over the selection.

As the movie began, Claire cuddled next to Jack. I couldn't take anymore as my brother put his arm around her. With much despair, I went back to my room and cried until I fell asleep.

When I awoke, I was thrilled to find out Claire did not stay the night. It was still early but I didn't care. I headed straight to her house. Her dad let me in as he was going to work and wished me luck in getting her to wake up from her late night. I went to her room, sat in her computer chair, and waited. I stared intently at my supposed friend, contemplating doing the most devilish acts imaginable just to make her disappear.

Twenty minutes passed before Claire stirred. In one moment, she went from having a faint smile while she rubbed her eyes to one of abject terror when she realized someone was in the room with her.

"Darn it, Audrey. You scared the crap out of me," Claire clutched her chest and took a couple deep breaths. A beaming smile came to her lips, "Thanks again for letting me go out with Jack. A million times, thank you. I had a blast last night. Jack was so romantic. We had dinner, went to the theatre, and then went back to your place to watch a movie before he took me home. He kissed me, Audrey. He kissed me. I think I'm already in love. And we already made plans to see each other again on Monday. Isn't that great?"

Claire looked as if she were on a balloon floating in the clouds. Time to burst that balloon. "Break it off with Jack."

"What?" Claire's response was hasty and high pitched, as if she couldn't believe what I just said.

"You heard me." I sat stoic, unmoving, with my eyes piercing through her.

"But why?"

"Because I'm telling you to."

"I don't get you Audrey. You come into my room at the crack of frickin dawn to tell me I can't date your brother anymore?" Claire put her feet to the floor, confusion written all over her face. "Why did you say yes when I asked you the other day? Why did you sit in the hallway and allow me to go up to your brother and ask him out? Do you even know how hard that was for me?"

"I do."

"Then why?" I never saw her so upset. Claire pointed to herself. "I deserve to know."

I stood, frustrated that this little twerp wouldn't just cave in like she normally does. "Because I told you to, that's why!"

Claire stood and put herself right in front of me, "Fuck you, Audrey!" It was the first time I had ever heard her swear. "That's not good enough. Shouldn't you be happy for me? Hell, shouldn't you be happy for Jack? I said I might love him already and you're telling me to break it off. Just," Claire gave a large huff, "Tell me why, damn it!"

"Because I love him!" I covered my mouth at the realization that I said that aloud. I slumped back into the chair, defeated.

Claire paused, shocked at my revelation. "What did you just say?"

My eyes began welling up, "Please don't make me say it again."

"With the way you talk about him, I thought that might be the case. That's why I asked for your permission." Claire sighed, "Does Jack know?"

I just shook my head.

"Audrey, you and I have been friends for a long time. It was always me and you until Holly came into the picture. And although we are all friends, you are still the most important to me. But I won't call it off Audrey. This may be my one shot with a guy, and not just any guy, but a guy I actually like and not some jerk Holly tries to hook me up with. And you know what?" I just looked at her through glassy eyes as she rejected my feelings. "I'm certain he likes me too. I don't want this to end our friendship, but if you feel it must, then leave."

I got up in a daze, dejected. It was the exact opposite of how I felt when I arrived. I was so confident I could manipulate Claire, but she shot me down. What's worse is she now knows my secret. I just have to get to Jack before she does. We both have had one date with him, even if Jack considers ours as practice, it counts to me.

When I got home, Jack was working on the washing machine. He looked really good without a shirt on.

"Jack, can I ask you a question?" I hopped up on top of the dryer, my feet dangling close to his crotch. What I wouldn't give to be able to tease him with my foot right now.

"Anything, just know that counts as your question," Jack grunted as he put the new belt on the washer. He then turned, grabbed a cloth to wipe the sweat off his brow, and looked up at me with those loving brown eyes and smiled. "What does the most awesome girl in the world want to know?"

I blushed a little thinking of all the times he called me that to help boost my self-esteem. "I was wondering how your date went?"

"Really?" Jack laughed, "I assumed you had already talked to Claire."

"I did."

"Well then you know I made it to date number two. Thanks for all your advice."

"Can I ask a favor of you?" I bit my lower lip, nervous about his reaction to what I want.

"First a question and now a favor? You sure are needy today." Jack grabbed my feet and started tickling them.

"Hey stop that," I swatted at his hands. "Not fair!"

"Okay, okay," Jack patted my feet and then let them go. "So what's this favor?"

I shook my head, no longer willing to ask him.

"C'mon Audrey, spill it?"

I took a deep breath, "I don't want you to see Claire anymore." It came out rushed as I damn near got it out in one syllable.

Jack sat there, just staring at me for a minute. I couldn't look at him and my eyes started darting all over the place. "Why?" He finally spoke. "Did something happen between you two?"

"No, not really. I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with it anymore, that's all."

"I really like her Audrey. We had a great time and I'm certain we could be something in the future. It was nice to go out with a girl for once." Jack put his hand on my thigh. "Do you think you might be willing to try to be okay with it?"

"You could go out with me." It was scarcely audible as I barely had the guts to say it.

"Is that what this is about?" Jack chuckled, "Don't worry, Audrey, I'll still hang out with you. How about this, every Tuesday will be our day, just you and me. We'll go out, have a good time, and have some brother/sister bonding time. It'll be fun. What do you say?"

I gave a weak smile, "Okay." Jack completely misinterpreted what I wanted.

Right then, the doorbell rang and I hurried to answer it. Anything to get out of that room. I opened the door and my worst nightmare appeared.

"Claire." I didn't hold my disdain from my tone.

"So it's like that, huh?"

"I guess so."

"Oh, well," Claire immediately went into a sing song voice, "I'm not here to see you anyway."

"Hey Claire!" Jack called from behind, "I just finished the washer and was going to watch a movie before work. Interested?"

"Absolutely," Claire brushed by me as if I wasn't there and pressed herself against my brother. "Mmm, I could get used to you without a shirt on."

When she did that, I knew I was at war. Normally I thought I would win easily, but for some reason Claire seemed like a different person when concerning Jack. She normally would fold but when Holly threatened, she asked him out. When I demanded, she fought back. I had to push her beyond her comfort zone. I have to attack with everything I got if I wanted my brother to be mine.