My Secret, Naughty Desire

Even writing this makes me feel very uncomfortable. Because it opposes the belief system I've been indoctrinated into, to the core. And logically I know that most of what I've been taught is wrong. I still dream about you the most.

And I need to vent. Desperately, I need to vent. I have built up frustration whenever I think of you that needed to explode a long time ago.

Firstly, I need you to need to remember that I was allot older than you. You were only twenty when we met. I was thirty-two.

And it started so subtly. We used to live close to each other in different apartments on the same property. I work from home, mostly writing very boring technical articles and selling my soul. And you lived practically next door with your fiancé.

And you would innocently pop by every few days to borrow some movies from my collection. But it's that one occasion. That one moment that fuels my fantasies.

It's that one day you dropped by and you were crying. He had hurt you again. Not physically. Never physically. Emotionally. He'd torn your heart out again. And I so desperately wanted to hold you.

You were sitting on my bed. And you were crying. And I was saying allot of nonsense. I was trying to appease you. And you were sobbing. And the fringe of your amazing hair had fallen into your eye and I leaned forward and gently brushed it back.

And suddenly you stopped sobbing and you looked at me. You looked at me in a way more intensified than any woman had ever looked at me. And I felt suddenly ridged. And I continued. I ran my fingers through your hair; with the tips of my short nails gently stroking your amazingly beautiful features.

And you closed your eyes. You didn't want me to stop. So I didn't. I touched your cheek gently and so softly caressed your hair back curled your natural beauty back against your ear.

But you have a fiancé and you were 12 years younger than me. Only a young adult.

The thoughts that ran through my head. The extremely naughty fantasies I've dreamed about you are so, so exquisite.

Stop now if you find my rantings about this amazing younger woman inappropriate. Just find something else to read. Because my fuelled dreams have been filled almost every night with this fantasy. And it's about to get explicit.

You came around to my place a few nights earlier. I was having a party. And you were very drunk on tequila. So I could never take advantage.

And I was playing some tunes. And I put on 'Come on Eileen' and you jumped up on my bed and started singing. And you said to me, now I'm not your perfect height. (I'm 6'5) and you grabbed me and pulled me closer and held my hips tightly against you as you pressed against me.

And that is where my fantasy about you begins. And I obviously can't make love to you. But I sure as hell will never leave you frustrated.

Because, at that moment, all I wanted to do was slam the door closed to everything in the world. I wanted to twist you around and kiss the nape of your neck all the way up to your ear. I wanted to grab you around the waist and kiss your breasts and gently lean over so you could recline on my bed. In a gentle perfect flop.

And I don't care what you're wearing right now. I want them off of you. And I hope you're wearing something, just for me; because when I try to take them off, when you raise your hips just slightly to let me; god that's the sexiest thing you could ever do. That's you telling me to devour you.

And that is exactly what I will do next. Without consideration I will consume you. And I will need you to grab my head and guide me. An easy task since I have very long curly hair. I need you to grab my hair and guide me while you wreathe and press your hips against me.

And because I'm coy I will not touch you, yet. You will only have my hair and my tongue. And your firm direction. And I will only stop teasing when you reach my excitement. And I will remain there.

But we cannot be together for now. We are too distracted. And I want you. And I am trying to find you.

And perhaps we'll meet next week. And I'll fall in love with you. You keep me alive. That you fault being so intriguing. And so amazingly sexy.

That's just my fantasy about you. I'm travelling soon to where you are. I might have a different story to tell once we've met. You excite me.