My Sexual Fantasies

My Sexual Fantasies (OD Repost)

I wrote this in November 2002 for my online journal on Open Diary. I'm posting this simply to have something posted. I do intend to actually write eventually.

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I have a penis. Isn't that amazing? I also have two testicles. The flu had a stranglehold on them and killed my sex drive. But, I've since driven the flu off with my superior immune system. And.. for whatever reason, I've been EXTREMELY HORNY lately. I've masturbated twice a day since Friday, I believe. Yes, I am a compulsive masturbating monkey. Well, maybe not compulsive. But, I certainly am a monkey. *bobs his penis decisively*

As a result of years of reading erotica, I have wide and varied sexual fantasies. (Yes, kids, porn does rot your mind :P) I'm not sure where to begin, so I'll start with the general. I discovered a long time ago that I have a submissive personality. What does this mean in practical terms? I would rather not be the one in control. When I read erotica, I prefer a female dom with a male sub. I can also deal with male doms and male subs, or female doms and male subs. The one I can NOT deal with is a male dom and a female sub. It just.. rubs me the wrong way. When I read about a guy being aggressive with a girl, I wonder "How can you treat her like that?" Then again, I've read some extreme stuff. *chuckles*

I have a crossdressing streak in me. Not surprisingly, I get off on the thought of sissification. (Yes, it is a word. ..Somehow) I like the thought of being forced to wear girls clothes. Moreover, I like the thought of humiliation. Any kind of humiliation. Turns me on more than anything. I already shave my armpits and my scrotum, though this is more of a personal preference than anything sexual. I want to shave my legs and fully crossdress, someday.

I am an anal person. I like putting things up my bum. I like stories where the guy has to take something up the bum. Maybe it'll hurt. Maybe it'll turn him on and he'll be humiliated that he's actually enjoying it. Maybe the anal intruder is a permanent fixture which reminds him of his status. I wonder how powerful those electricity is.....

Orgasm control. I love this element. Being pushed to the edge and.. denied. I like the concept of chastity belts. Or other chastity devices that prevent erection. Punishment for erections. *giggles* Or perhaps a Masturbation Schedule. Being told when to orgasm. And being punished if he orgasms when he isn't supposed to. Or failure to orgasm when he's told to. *chuckles* Spanking. Well, that, in itself, doesn't really do much for me. But, it's kinky. I also like light cbt.

Cunnilingus. I worship pussy. Of course, it's kinda obvious, isn't it? My needs are not important. What is important that the Mistress is happy. I fantasize about a girl sitting on my face and riding my tongue until my face is soaked in her juices. I'll do whatever it takes to keep a girl happy. I'm not even talking sexual, here. I'm talking, "Make me dinner" or "Get the groceries." Of course, I wouldn't hesitant to bath her. "Shave my legs, bitch." *giggles*

Cock. What's more humiliating to a straight male than being forced to suck cock? Or taking it up the ass. *giggles* Stories need to be well written for this kind of thing to work without feeling like.. well, a porno. Far too often I read, "Oh and I randomly have this guy friend of mine. You should suck him off." Strap-ons are effective as a means of humiliation, though the real thing is... welll, the real thing.

There is one obscure idea which I've read about and latched onto: guys being treated as animals. Literally. This one story I read involved a guy being treated as a horse. It was funny, because they put ornaments and bells on his cock and balls, and well.. isn't that embarrassing? *giggles* Not to mention the lovely butt plug with horsehair on the end of it. The dogboy fantasy is probably more practical. Being treated less than human. *chuckles* Just a stupid mutt. Oh, and the lovely threat of being neutered.

I seem to have described certain elements of fantasies I have, keeping it extremely general. Come to think of it, I don't really have a specific fantasy which I think of often. I just have general fantasies which I know get me off. As I stated earlier I like the idea of loss of control. I feel that this is my true nature, something I've gone against in real life. But, let's be honest, it's dangerous for me to think I could ever live out any of my fantasies. I know that I should only give up control to someone I trust. That's part of the dynamics of a d/s relationship. Honestly, I think relationships should be even, to some degree. I consider this sub side of me sort of.. a game. Being someone's slave kinda changes your life in ways which.. can't be changed back. *chuckles*

I must say, I'd get very far in a female dominated society. I mean, just because of all the pussy I'd kiss. I'd roll over and do whatever girls wanted. And I'd enjoy every second of it.

I also must mention that, probably as a side effect of my virgin status, I don't really fantasize about intercourse. Kinda funny. Fantasize about sex, but not sex. Though, I fantasize about oral though I've never given or received oral sex.

I'd like to thank Scanner for dubbing me a Sex Kitten. I like the concept. *purrs* Damn, I want to go down on someone. *meow*