My Teacher, My Love Ch. 09

"Thank you for saying all of that. We have a lot to adjust to, learning to love each completely, learning to believe in each other to freely talk about things and that no matter, what we are there for each other. Maybe running is something you do, or maybe you did overreact. So tell me what I said that upset you please?"

"From now on, for 5 days of the week there will be a period of time where we have to distance ourselves from each other. But when we are in this house together we can be who we want to be, and I can finally be close to you, to love you. When you suggested I bring my friend home, I told you I did not want to because of you, but it was not the reason you thought, because I did not want you around, that I wanted you to hide or that I am ashamed of you, this is your home and not just because of me but because you have family here. No Amy, I don't want to bring a friend because inside this house I only want to be with you and our parents, no one else. I want to be free to live my life the way I want to, and if society states that I cannot do that outside these walls, I will certainly not bring society into it. This is our safe haven, for us to love and grow together without anyone's interference, and bringing Melissa here will spoil that, only when we can love each other freely will the time come when we can invite people into our lives." We were both crying again. Every time I shared my feelings of love with Amy, it set her off, I could see I was getting through to her, and that made me cry.

"I am so sorry I misunderstood you like that, I just feel my insecurities got the better of me, but my first thought when mom asked you to bring her home, was that this was our time only. Then I felt guilty for thinking that way, and that I sould not monopolize your time like that. As I said this is all new to me, love is a strange emotion, but I must be stronger than that, if I keep getting negative about things, including about myself, then I could lose you."

"No matter what Amy, if at any time I feel less than positive about us, then I will tell you, you have me Amy, whenever you want, you are my Soulmate, my love forever, without you my life means nothing. If I could I would never go to school and just lay here in bed. But life does not work that way, so we do what we must to survive, but when we can have our moment to be with each other, I want as many of them as we can, together."

"Your words mean so much, and I can tell they come from the heart. All I can do is try, my faith in love and you will build over time, but for now there will be moments I will slip up, so as long as I have you to pick me up again, I will get better. I love you Sophie, you mean more to me than anything, I am happy we kissed that night, either of us could have stopped it, but we didn't and I am thankful I was strong enough to not only return the kiss but to believe that it was real and true. We have discovered a lot over the last few days, not only about each other, but about love and family and one day we will have our own family and together we will teach them all we can to make life easier."

"You want a family with me?" Now I was shocked, tears of extreme happiness were falling from my eyes. Amy smiled as she wiped the tears away. Then she pulled me down for another kiss.

"Yes, more than anything. One of the things I thought about when I was younger, is that I meet someone special, fall in love and start a family. But then I discovered I was gay. When I knew I was in love with Claire part of me wondered if it was possible to have a family if we were both female, I understood how the whole 'where babies come from' thing, but not about sperm banks and such things. So I thought that if we loved each other enough, maybe love and magic could make it happen. Pretty stupid idea at the time."

"I don't think it is stupid to believe in love, what you just said is very beautiful. It gives me hope that you believe in us enough to think about marriage and a family; I know you love me and that together we have something special. And even if we can't guarantee that we will be together forever, we have enough love to hope and believe it."

"So do you want to have children?"

"Well before you mentioned it, the thought had not occurred to me. Now the idea is very positive to me, I feel that obviously we would wait several years and probably you should be the one to have the first child before I did. But I would love to have your baby as I would want you to have mine. We can look into the how later, but I do want children and only with you."

"I am grateful you are keen on the idea and of course there will be time in the future to discuss it further, but just knowing that you love me enough to even think about it, allows me further proof that you love me a lot. So my confidence in what we have has been given a well needed boost."

"Well maybe we should go downstairs now and let mom and dad know that things are OK now and to explain my quick exit."

"That seems like a good idea, but maybe afterwards we can return here and maybe we can discuss the sleeping arrangements, mainly I think we need to plan our nights."

"Whatever you want to talk about, we will talk, together." I kissed her again but kept it chaste so at least we could go downstairs at least for a few minutes. We got up and walked hand in hand out of our room and downstairs, together.