My Undead Girlfriend Ch. 01

Chapter 01 -- The Wish

It's funny how stuff works out, isn't it?

I mean, it's not like I wake up each morning and say to myself, "Okay, let's see how much crazy stuff I can get into today," but somehow, it always happens.

Take me and Katie, for instance; I mean, it's like Beauty and the Beast. As far as attractiveness goes, I'm probably in, like, the fifth percentile: skinny as a scarecrow despite all the high-fat, no-fiber cafeteria food I get for weekday lunches; facial hair that demands that I either skin my chin off three times a day or wind up with a beard by five o'clock; and my cheap contacts hurt like all get out, so I have to wear my equally cheap glasses.

Katie, though, is just ... gorgeous! From day one, I knew I was gonna have trouble prying my eyes off of her. When I wasn't drowning in those big, clear baby-blue eyes of hers or her full, moist, ever-smiling lips, I usually found myself staring at her C-cups or ogling that firm, round butt of hers.

The funny thing is, we really didn't date each other at first -- we just happened to be roommates. Neither of us was the type to agree to the "honor code" you had to follow if you wanted to get the cheaper apartments that the school owns, so we both looked for other low-rent places near the campus. My first day at the place, moving my boxes and junk into the apartment, I had been greeted by one of the most gorgeous sights I've ever beheld in my life: a lovely, leggy, eighteen-year-old girl in cutoff jean shorts, bent over her own cardboard treasure chests and settling into her side of what was going to be our apartment.

You can probably guess how things went from there. Katie, for her part, made it very clear that my attention was welcomed, so we went from roommates to lovers in about seven hours, and amazingly, we've been going steady for nearly a year now. Once, she even turned down an offer from Jack Lance, one of those Prince Charming creeps that seem to infest every college campus, and came to the dance with me instead.

God, thank you for bringing Katie into my life.

Oh, yeah, one other thing about Katie:

She's dead.

---

The last time I saw Katie alive, we were talking in my previous car (not the car I drive now, for reasons which will be explained shortly). Finals were a month away, so we'd been sharing an apartment for nearly the entire term. Now, I figured that when you've been in a relationship with a girl for that long and neither of you even seems to think of seeing other people, that that means something, so I'd been working up the nerve to ask Katie to take the plunge with me. The topic had come up in conversation before, and Katie had mentioned that she was waiting for "a certain guy" who had the courage to propose to her.

"You know, Katie, I really think you'd like my folks. They're just real sweet, and I know that you're gonna love the cottage up in Vermont." "You mean the one where your dad got chased by the bull?" Katie asked, and I saw her arch an eyebrow in the side mirror.

"Well, yeah, but the cattle are all behind a fence. Dad just went over there to save the dog. If you're worried about getting chased by farm animals, don't sweat it."

"Yeah, but still, it's a little log house in the middle of nowhere with no cable and one old phone line. I mean, do you even get cell phone service up there or what?"

"Aw, c'mon, it's not like we'll be camping out -- it's just a nice, quiet house where you can rest, relax, and get to know the folks a little."

"Hmmmm ... 'Get to know the folks,' huh? Do I detect a hint of the M-word?"

I gulped. Yeah, really subtle, genius! "Uh, if there was, what would you think?"

The following ten seconds were the longest in my life. Then I felt Katie lean into my shoulder. "Hmm, marriage, huh? Together forever ... I'd get you all to myself ...."

Katie just about strangled me as she threw her arms around my neck and plastered my cheek with kisses. Suddenly, my fingers stopped twitching on the steering wheel, my pulse stopped racing -- heck, it just about stopped altogether -- and I went from prom night jitters to euphoria in about half a second. Then, as if that wasn't enough, she grabbed my head and turned me toward her, bringing my lips to hers as we shared one of the most electrifying kisses of my life.

In the middle of a four-way intersection.

I guess it's a good thing that I don't remember much of what happened next. Apparently, the guy coming from the right had been out with his buddies the night before, and had gotten behind the wheel with a massive hangover and a blood alcohol level that was still way over the legal limit. All I remember is a godawful THUD coming from Katie's side of the car, then Katie screaming, then a lot of dirt flying around as everything kept spinning in front of me.

My clearest memory after that is of waking up in the hospital, one eye swollen and covered with bandages and my right pinky finger with a foam-and-metal splint-thingy attached to it. I felt like I was looking at the world through the fabric of one of Grandma's stupid knit sweaters, and I must have only been awake for a couple of minutes at a time. I remember Mom crying and holding onto me, and stupid doctors who just went on and on about unpleasant-sounding stuff while I was lying right there on the bed -- I think I remember hearing "compound fracture" and "hemorrhage" a couple of times. I eventually found out that, aside from said eye and finger, I'd cracked two ribs -- both on the right side, of course -- and they'd had to put in a bunch of stitches on my lip. The doctor said I'm lucky my neck didn't snap.

I remember asking about Katie. Nobody would give me an answer; at least, not that I remember. One time, I tried looking to the side to see if she was in the bed next to mine, see how she was holding up, maybe try to make up a dumb joke about one-eyed guys, I don't know. Turns out, I was looking in the wrong place.

I should have checked the morgue.

---

The first month after the accident just flew by like a dream, or more like a mercifully short nightmare. I was there at the trial, but nobody needed me to testify. Like I said, the other guy was plastered when he got in his car that morning, so he got ten to twenty for manslaughter and the judge awarded me and my parents a decent amount of cash -- enough to cover my medical bills and get me a new car, though I wasn't planning on driving anytime soon.

The trial was the first time I'd ever met Katie's folks in person. I saw them leaning on each other's shoulders and crying and I thought, I'd like to see him make up for that. Mr. and Mrs. Ashton turned out to be really nice folks. They told me some of the things Katie had told them about me -- all good stuff, apparently -- and my parents invited them and me over after the trial ended. I tried to say that I was sorry for what had happened, how I'd been driving the car, but the Ashtons really didn't blame me. We all just had a good cry, Katie's parents and mine, plus me in my neck brace and bandages sitting in Mom and Dad's living room.

Eventually, somebody at the Department of Really Crappy Accidents decided that it was time to ship me the smashed-up remains of my life, and I started putting them back together. The neck brace and most of the other stuff came off, though I still have a scar on my upper lip that I cover up with a moustache. I took my finals late, for obvious reasons, but I thank God that most of my professors were pretty understanding about the accident and all. Mom and Dad offered to take me up to Vermont, but in the end I decided to stay in Boston and start looking for a new apartment.

My last night in the place, I lay on my bare mattress and just remembered. It was like somebody was playing an all-night insomniac marathon of "Greatest Moments at Apartment 44C". Most of them involved Katie.

I looked over at the other bed. I'd already helped Katie's folks pack up her things and get them onto a moving truck, so there really wasn't much except the bed frame and a mattress. Now, I was doing pretty much the same thing, only it was my own stuff that I was putting into cardboard boxes so I could move out the next day.

Now, I'm normally not a religious person. Sure, I go to church about one Sunday a month, but it's not like I kneel down and say prayers every night before bedtime. That night, though, as I lay on my empty bed looking over at hers, I had this bizarre, random urge to ask the Big Guy for ... something.

Please, God, I thought, give me a sign. Let me know that Katie's all right, wherever she is. Heck, just let her be somewhere! Let me know she even exists!

I just want to see her again.

Please....

I must have dozed off sometime after that, because the next thing I knew, I practically jumped off the bed when I heard somebody's keys in the door. Probably Mrs. Sherman, coming to bring me some leftover apple crisp, or maybe just give me back my security deposit, I thought as I tried to pull on a shirt. Dang it, don't landladies ever knock...?

Then the door opened.

No, it was definitely not Mrs. Sherman. The girl in the door was obviously a lot younger, and as my eyes adjusted, I could see that she was really attractive, even despite her wild, unkempt hair and dirty, mud-stained clothes.

And the fact that she was dead.

"Hi, Nate," Katie said with a sleepy yawn. "Hey, have you seen my phone anywhere? My keys were still in my pocket, but I think I might have left the phone here before we left today...."