Mystery Man Ch. 02

Author's note: No sex, more build-up. Do you hate me yet?

Chapter 2: The Worker's Paradise

Work. The eternal bane of my existence. I am convinced that I was born not to work. I watch people slip in and out of the store, making the most of their lunch breaks. How can these people live like this? This is the most unnatural life. Speaking of unnatural life, Trudy my stepmother just walked in. Trudy is...how can I say this...she is totally devoid of a personality of her own. Some nameless, shapeless clone send by the church to take care of my father. She even looks plastic, like she were molded rather than grown. Always perfect make-up, shapeless body, and a vacant look in her eyes. Fortunately she is easy to deceive.

"Michael, you father wants you to pick up his dry cleaning on the way home."

"Why didn't he call?" I don't have time for this shit.

"Oh, he could have but I told him I had to come down to shopping center anyway..." Trouble. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." Please let it be about joining her prayer group. Prayer group. Prayer group.

"I've been concerned. I never see you dating any women. Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Fuck. You know, it really could have been the prayer group. I would actually do anything not to be having this conversation at this moment. "Gee Trudy, I am not sure I understand your meaning."

She leans in a little now, so she can say "the dirty words."

"Well, I am beginning to think that you might be gay. Of course your father and I don't want you to be out fornicating, but a wholesome relationship with a God fearing girl should have happened by now."

Ah, yes. Now we come to it. Hmm. Must think of something to tell her. Anything but the truth. Well, Trudy since I have lusting after my sisters most of my life so I haven't noticed many other women. Fortunately, two are out of the house now so all you have to do is keep me away from Tara. Good luck sweetie!

"Trudy, really you don't need to be concerned. I am just waiting for the right girl."

"It's funny you should mention that. I know so many girls your age in my prayer group..."

Honestly at this point of the conversation, I stopped listening. I knew we would eventually get to the Prayer group and Trudy did not disappoint. I might have to take one for the team.

"...so can you come with us next Friday night?" Trudy's face contorted into a tight smile.

Sorry Trudes, I would rather burn in Hell than spend one more night with your group. "You know I would love to but I promised I would take Tara out to feed the homeless that night. Sorry!"

Trudy looked clearly chagrined. She clouded over. "Well, ok...maybe next week."

Yeah, unless I am doing dudes on you bed. "I'll be there with bells on!"

Exit Trudy. That was slightly less painful than say having a rusted pipe shoved through my sternum. I will have to warn Tara. I dialed her cell phone immediately. Work can wait.

"Mmmhello?" She sounded half awake; I forgot she had the day off. She sleeps in on her days off. All day if she can get away with it.

"Tara, Mike. We have a Trudy alert."

"Damn it! What did you get me into now?"

"We have to feed the homeless on Friday."

Tara erupted with laughter. She has the most amazing laugh...it's sort of girly and high pitched despite her low voice. "Nice. You owe me one buster...and while we're on the subject, turn off your fucking alarm clock or I will shove it up your ass."

"Promise?"

She giggled again. "Whatever. Can you get me free movies today?"

"Come and get them."

"It's too...hot out now. I will be by around 6 tonight, when you get off."

"Ok." It was like 40 degrees out. I would have said something but I knew that Tara was sensitive to the sunlight too. We never really talked about it but it ran in the family. "No dirty movies or Dad will have my ass."

More giggling. "Live a little!" Click.

******

Five to six. It had been a day that would have tested the patience of Gandhi. The sun had set about 15 minutes ago and I was already feeling better. Sort of amped...like I was on some kind of drug. Something caught my attention...it was like I knew someone was coming. Just then, Tara bound through the door. She was adorably dressed, in loose sweats and her hair up. Smiling.

"Hey Fucker!" Term of endearment. She walked over and gave me a hug. Tara is a very physical person and almost always gives me hugs. Not sure why. Then she hit me in the arm. "Turn off your alarm fucker!"

"Why Tara! That wasn't very Christian! Maybe you need the Lord's prayer group after all." I gave her a wicked grin.

"Yeah, like I need a hole in the head." Tara was the least Christian person I have ever met. Totally naturally hedonistic. I wouldn't be surprised if she stashed a golden calf in her closet under some clothes. "So are you gay yet?"

"Trudy talked to you."

Tara grinned widely. "Yeah a few days ago she asked me about it. I was going to tell you but I figured she would tell you in her own sweet time." Tara walked over and was standing right in front of me.

I walked around her and slapped her ass. "What do you think!" I looked back to her slightly shocked, slightly surprised face. "Just wait until it is your turn, Ms. Never Dates Guys Twice."

"Yeah, guys are such tools. No offense." Tara now made her way to the movie aisle. "How many can I rent?"

I was out of credits but didn't have the heart to tell her. I would rent it for her. Besides I owe her. "Just one this time."

"Just one?" Her nose crinkled. "Ah..."

"Tara can I ask you something?"

"Hmmm...maybe. Can you?"

Smart ass. "How do you get away with sleeping all day? I can't imagine Trudy permitting that "sloth" in her house."

Tara walked up with her movie. On the cover was two beautiful women and a some hot dude. It was one of those love triangle/everyone sleeps with everyone/epic chick flicks she loved to rent. She put down the movie and looked from side to side. "My secret."

"Please?" I gave her the puppy dog look I knew she couldn't resist.

"Ah puppy look! Ok...I trust you. Before Jenna left, she told me the secret of her bed. You know how Jenna's old bed rests on a wooden frame? One of the panels open and there is a crawl space underneath the bed with a mattress pad and some pillows. Nice and cool. Love it!"

Come to think of it, that wall pounding was pretty low. "Yeah but what if someone checks on you?"

"Check on me? Whatever do you mean?" Tara was now smiling drunkenly at me, although I was sure she was sober.

"I mean someone coming into the room, Trudy, Dad, anyone..."

"If they come in, I just tell them I left super early to run errands. They know I keep late hours."

Now I smiled broadly. "Well don't we just have our stories covered."

Her smile narrowed. "I don't know about this we stuff...I'm not the one going out in the middle of the day to work."

My smile evaporated. The thought of my life came back to me. Tara noticed the change in me and patted my back as if she could read my mind. "Sorry about that. I know it's hateful."

I looked down and picked up her movie. "Better hope you have a TV and DVD player down there if you are going to watch this smut in a God Fearing House!" I pointed to the cover, "Sexy!"

That broke the tension. Tara chuckled, emphasizing every word of her next statement. "You...just...have...to...be...very...crafty! Those people sleep like the dead."

"What about this guy?" I rang her up and clocked out. "One day you are going to get caught not watching the Lord's approved entertainment and your soul will burn!"

"Please. You are asleep before they are. Just give me my smutty DVD fucker. No boys allowed." Said with a smile and wink. She offered me a ride home but I felt like walking for some reason.