Nature or Nurture Ch. 34-36

Now she will find out what is bothering him, if she can find him, that is. She hopes he has not gone to his workshop, that is not safe, and not a good place to be in the evening when you're a bit depressed.

First the house, what would Victor do to spend a night on his own? The library, or the accounts. Reading or keeping books is always good for distraction. But what if he doesn't want to be distracted, what if he wants to feel everything? He'll be in the bedroom, crying his eyes out, that is what Mina herself would do.

She walks towards the bedroom, and indeed finds Victor lying on the bed, but not crying. He is silent, and stares blankly in front of him, not seeing anything, not understanding what went wrong, and with no clue how to set it right.

Mina's heart skips a beat, and she feels her throat burn, he is so beautiful, and so vulnerable, her very own superbly sensitive and smart human. She fell in love with him instantly, the moment she saw him, and seeing him so intensely sad, even desperate, just wrings her heart.

Totally locked inside himself, Victor hasn't seen or heard her yet, and she suppresses an urge to fall at his feet and beg him to forgive her for her befuddled speech yesterday. But she also knows she was totally out of it, giddy with Vincent's blood and also with the exhilaration of having saved their lives once again.

Besides, it looks like she is the strong mind in their partnership, and she wants Victor to rely on her, until he gets used to being with people more, until he learns to speak his mind to those he loves. She cannot make herself smaller in his eyes, so she moves towards him, sits on the bed, then gathers him to her easily.

He nestles in her arms, still silent, still unresponsive. He seems unable to talk, he can feel, but he cannot find words to talk about his feelings.

Mina does not ask questions, or make apologies, she stays silent, too, she just holds her beloved tightly, letting him feel her love for him.

'Why am I so very sad when I know you love me?' he finally asks.

'I feel so helpless, you love me, I love you more than anything, but what if you don't anymore? What if you want someone else more? I can't even say it, I can't even plead you to stay with me, my mind shapes the words but they will not come out.'

Still he doesn't cry his eyes out, he merely overflows, and so does Mina.

'Everyone who loves takes that risk, Victor,' she replies, 'there is always a chance that love doesn't last. We can only accept that chance, and enjoy our time together.'

'You could have died yesterday, Vincent could have died, and I worry that his blood makes you want him. Why don't I feel fear of losing you to death, but jealousy to lose you to another? And why can't I just ask outright what you want from him? And from me?'

Mina strokes his hair, and kisses his sad face.

'You are so beautiful, Victor, do you have any idea how incredibly attractive you are?'

A small smile proves he does.

'We were both very close to death, Victor, and that brings people together, but I will not deny that Vincent's strength and violent nature are very attractive to me. But I don't want his love, I want his passion, his lust. As you wanted it, before you found the same in me.

I love you, Victor, and it hurts to see you so desperate. If it makes you feel better, I will promise you not to touch him with desire, and only to drink his blood in an emergency, like yesterday. He can control himself, and I can control myself. Will you please forgive me for letting my body rule me?'

But such humility is not Mina, Victor wants her strong and passionate, maybe Adison is right, maybe she cannot be happy with just one lover, and a very reserved one. Caging her will only make her seek her freedom, will cause a rift between them.

'I cannot accept such a promise from you, beloved,' he says.

'You have only been free for a very short time, you have no idea of your own needs. You don't want me to be desperate, but who knows what controlling your passion will do to you? I love you and I must set you free.'

Holding her tightly, he adds, 'If you have a need for a very passionate lover once in awhile, I'd rather it be someone I love and trust. I loved being dominated by him, I miss him sometimes. If you will not let yourself be ruled by your body, I will control my mind and not let myself be ruled by jealousy.

And I will do my very best to talk about my feelings, I really want to learn that. There is nothing to forgive, please don't be humble to me, I love your strength, and your self-assurance.'

Feeling her breath in his neck makes his hairs stand on end, and his passion jumps to life instantly. She notices and nuzzles his throat, such an exciting feeling when one can expect sharp teeth to puncture the skin any moment, followed by the intense bliss of her sucking.

She teases him, licks his neck, inhales his scent with relish, even nibbles his skin with her normal teeth. Almost mad with lust now, Victor offers his white throat, hoping she'll strike, but she doesn't, she kisses him deeply, then strokes his hair, one of her hand enters his shirt to stroke his chest, the other supporting him as he lies in her arm.

Victor shudders, the most beautiful woman in the world says she loves him, is prepared to battle her natural urges for him, he must be the most fortunate man in existence.

And then she does strike, quick as lightning, in that extra sensitive spot in his neck just behind his jaw, and the short sting of her teeth breaking his skin transforms to utter bliss as she gently sucks on his throbbing vein.

All sadness and every doubt melt away, all his nerves tingle, his hands grope for her breasts, and under her dress. How they manage to get rid of their clothes is a mystery, but they do, in record time, and within moments Mina is riding Victor in mutual bliss, licking the last drops of blood from his skin, feeling the sweetness of his blood mingle with the lingering tingle of Vincent's in her veins.

The sweeter, gentler stuff is not overcome, but merely enhanced by the little sting still present, and Mina dares to relish the feeling, hoping everything will sort itself out. And if not, she can always control herself, for no passion or violence can be more important than what she feels for this shy, sweet man.

They make love with passion, once he's felt the sting of her teeth and her pull on his vein Victor can work up quite some fervour, and of course he knows everything there is to know about a woman's anatomy.

Half an hour later they are exhausted, and very pleased to lie on the bed together, kissing a little, and stroking a few soft bits and parts of the other. And after that they dress and take a romantic stroll through the nearest park, just another couple in love, hand in hand under a bright moon.

Sitting on a bench near the river, Victor offers, 'Suppose I work mornings, then we can spend the afternoons together. I can let the workshop go, we can live quite nicely off the practice.'

'Or you could keep the workshop, and we could go there together in the evenings. There is no reason why you should stick to normal working hours, is there? I'd like to help you with your work, once we have a practice built Adison can take half the patients and you the other half, no need to go together all the time, at home you'll be safe.'

As the moon reaches its full strength, it is so light it seems like daytime, and they watch the river pass by sluggishly, light glittering on the little waves.

Chapter 36

When Vincent reaches the St James theatre the next day for his audition, it seems the others were more right than he thought. He has pictured himself walking into the building, and standing in line for the audition with at least twenty other hopefuls, beautiful men with thick resumes, being called into a little room with a line of severe looking men behind a table, writing down things and shaking their heads.

In fact, the stage director is waiting for him by the entrance, and after shaking Vincent's hand cordially he leads him inside the main theatre hall, filled with seat upon empty seat, rows of them, all beautifully decorated and in prime condition.

There are five seats in the middle that are not empty, two have young women sitting in them, one a young man, and two middle aged men. One of the middle aged men is tall and very broad of build, with slightly eccentric attire and longish hair, a little like Mr Grey, only a lot less elegant.

The other middle aged man is very well-dressed also, but in a more ordinary style. He looks like a business-man, though he is very handsome.

Vincent guesses the young man is an actor, as are the ladies. There is no row of hopeful other candidates, but Vincent cannot imagine there are none.

The stage director, whose name is Mr Oliver Broadmere, introduces him to the other people present, the businessman is Mr George Alexander, the director of the theatre and player of a lead part, the peculiar middle aged man the playwright, Mr Oscar Wilde, the young man and the two ladies indeed players in the piece.

Excepting Mr Alexander and Mr Wilde, they all seem familiar to Vincent, can it be they have visited his show to see him play? It would not be polite to ask, and anyway, this is an audition and he needs to concentrate, so concentrate he does.

Mr Broadmere invites him to play the extract he has prepared, and to his surprise one of the ladies joins him on stage, apparently she will be playing the lady's part, which makes it quite a bit easier for him. If she's any good of course, but this is a serious theatre, there is no reason to doubt that.

The lady is very friendly and seems to have no trouble at all with his disconcerting appearance, she takes her place in a little set-up on stage, and asks him sotto voce whether he is ready.

He is, he can dream this part, and having a fellow player makes it so much easier.

Mr Broadmere calls out from the empty hall, and Vincent launches into his first dialogue. It all seems to work out just fine, he is not too nervous, the lady acts exactly as he might wish, and he feels in his own element.

There is quite a lot of dialogue and action, leading up to a rather pathetic scene of misunderstanding and unrequited love, and Vincent relishes standing here, in this great hall, though nearly empty, but with people who matter sitting in it, and he gives his all.

When the scene is finished, the lady opposite him offers him a bow, and in turn he bows to her, then to the audience.

They do not applaud, but he guesses that is normal. The lady whispers, 'You did well! Look at Mr Wilde, he likes it.'

And indeed, Mr Wilde seems to be pleased, and Mr Broadmere actually looks a bit proud. He must have stuck out his neck pretty far to let an actor from a penny dreadful theatre audition for a role in St James'.

The handsome middle-aged gentleman beckons and the lady on stage with Vincent takes his arm and leads him down the little stairs back into the hall.

Mr Alexander says formally, 'Mr Vincent, we've seen all the other applicants this morning, Mr Broadmere insisted on including you in the audition. I had my doubts, seeing where you come from, but my fellow actors visited your show on his recommendation and seconded Oliver, and I'm glad they did, for otherwise we would have missed out on the perfect Reverend.

Thank you for your audition, and I'd like to step by my office together immediately to make the business arrangements and hand you a full script. We will start the rehearsals in November, so you'll have a month to learn it by heart.

Oliver tells me there will be no trouble with your current employer?'

'No, Mr Alexander,' Vincent replies, 'he has always encouraged me to look ahead and he has another play ready to roll as soon as need strikes.'

'We will be playing together intimately, so you'd better start calling me George, we're all on familiar terms here, except Oscar, who wants everyone to call him Mr Wilde. So how may we call you, Mr Vincent?'

Feeling a bit apprehensive at his lack of a last name, Vincent replies, 'Vincent is actually my first name.'

Oliver now speaks up.

'He used Smith as last name, and since that doesn't fit this theatre very well, I used his first name as his last name. Sounds well, doesn't it?'

'It does,' George answers, 'I suppose Smith is a stage name, what's you real last name?'

Totally stunned by this sudden question, Vincent blurts out his last name as he sees it.

'Heathcliff, George.'

'That is an interesting name, but not one for the bill-boards, nor the papers,' George states, 'I agree with Oliver, we'll put Vincent in as last name, and an 'H' as your initials, and we'll just call you Vincent, as you are used to. Agreed?'

'Very much so, George,' Vincent replies.

'You're a very polite fellow, Vincent,' George observes, 'we'll cure you of that, yet.

Welcome to our company.'

The paperwork is nothing special, just a general agreement about payment and working hours, duties and rights. Vincent has signed a similar agreement with the director of his current theatre, and he does not hesitate to sign this one without consulting his friends.

He will not make much more playing this role, though the theatre is much larger, his part in the play is only a minor one, but definitely one he can use to present himself to the world of serious acting. And with the rehearsals taking up the mornings of three months, he can even continue his current role for a few more months, if the director wants to keep him that long.

Since he has come this far, and he is in an excellent humour because his audition was a success, he decides to visit the lawyer straight away, Adison and Victor have taken Catherine on their rounds, so there is no need to rush home, and it needs to be done.

When he returns home he is in an even better mood. The lawyer had no problem recognizing Vincent, and it seems he is the proud owner of a small fortune.

And that is without the proceeds of the house, which will be sold as soon as an eligible buyer turns up. The current staff, Martin the butler and Laura the maid, have sufficient funds to their name to ensure their future.

And Vincent has access to his fortune again, part of which will very soon find its way into a new boiler and a practice in the front-room. He considers buying a carriage, but that is just way too much hassle, if it rains or if he runs late to walk to St James, he'll just hire a cab, it will cost less, and it will be a lot less trouble.

The celebratory steaks he brings with him are received well, even by Victor, who seems a bit looser towards him. Fortunately, for Vincent loves his friend so much it hurts to see him jealous, and for no reason at all, Vincent has made love to Victor multiple times, and he never fell in love with him either.

Despite having predicted he'd get the part, Adison and the rest are truly proud that his audition was a success, though before he is allowed to bask in his glory he is taken to the bed to have his wounds cleaned and bandaged afresh.

During the process, Catherine is asking a million questions about the audition, and telling a million things about her day doing the rounds with Adison and Victor. She's not totally lost to the theatre yet, but his daughter is clearly very much impressed by the work her new mother is doing.

And nothing seems to shock her, though they have tried to spare her some of the worst cases, for instance the lady that the American lives with, she is in the last stages of consumption, when he fetched Victor one fateful night because she was really bad, Adison came along, and her Chinese medication and soothing touch did give her some relief, but consumption cannot be cured, and slowly but surely she is deteriorating.

There is no way Adison would expose a two year old to such a sight, as well as the danger of infection, for it is clear that the horrid sickness strikes the weak, and though Catherine is a very healthy child, she is still very young, and her mother was always sickly according to Mina, so they will not take any risk with her.

During dinner, Vincent gets to brag a little about his audition and also about his fortune. Victor agrees to speed up the plans for a practice and a new boiler, having both ready before winter sets in. With plenty of money they can just have everything done, no need to find the cheapest offer, or do part of the work themselves.

And Vincent having left for the theatre, Catherine drops her bombshell on Victor, it is much easier to just be herself all the time, and Victor has been so nice to her all day, it feels like playing a nasty prank on him, keeping him in the dark.

She moves towards him, and asks to be put on his lap, which surprises him, for she has never done that before. A toddler would not choose to sit with someone who doesn't know how to handle children, but Catherine has no such qualms, she wants to get to know him, and she wants him to like her.

He dutifully lifts her and put her on his knees, more than a little uncomfortable of course.

'Can I have a cuddle and a few kisses, too? Children need that, you know.'

Still very uncomfortable, he hesitantly hugs her, a bit too stiffly, but he'll learn, and Catherine gives him a well-meant hug back. He is a very good-looking man, and shy rather than unfriendly. He smells nice, too. Her step-father and the visiting farmers never smelled nice, but of course they didn't take a cold shower when she told them to. They didn't even have a shower.

And of course neither a doctor nor an actor can go about smelly, they need to look their best and smell nice, it's part of their job.

'Victor, I have a confession to make, that I have made to mum and dad and Mina yesterday. Ever since my first year or so, I can understand everything adults say, and I can talk the same way. The toddler you have seen so far and will continue to see in public places or in company, is an act.'

His reaction is not what she expects, he hugs her, with a little more heart put into it this time, and comments, 'I wondered when you'd tell me, I felt a bit left out.'

'You knew?' Catherine is stunned, a bombshell turned right back on her.

'I'm a trained observer, remember, and very smart. I heard a difference in your voice, and in the sentences you made, you were just so excited your acting did suffer a little. I'm glad you decided to tell me, I felt rather lonely being the only one who wasn't told. I know I'm not the most outgoing person, but I feel things all the same.'

And here, Catherine shows her true insight, for she replies dryly, 'Let me get dad back, you are the one who should be on the stage, you're the best actor ever. Aren't you ashamed of yourself to make a little girl feel terribly guilty like that?'

Her beautiful little face droops, lip quivering, eyes nearly brimming.

Taking her in a tight hold, a sincere, loving embrace this time, he kisses her chubby cheeks and strokes her soft black hair.

'I meant it, Catherine, I did feel left out, and lonely, I knew you weren't a toddler, but a full member of this household, and I wanted your love and attention but didn't know how to get it. I'm not that good with people I don't know well.

I hope we can be friends.'

Catherine relents and kisses him lovingly, no hardship since he's so good-looking.

'You're cute,' she says, 'I'm just a toddler, no need to be shy to me. I'm going to sit with you all the time.

Can I come to the workshop with you?'

'Yes you can,' he says to her infinite surprise. 'You're already a perfect actress, so to balance that we need to teach you some doctoring skills, and what better place to start than at the basis?

Shall we go to the theatre and watch Vincent bask in the admiration of his peers?'