Nev and Max (A Love Story) Ch. 02

Max rolled over, finally acknowledging the time. A little past ten. He rubbed his face and tried to bring himself to roll out of bed. The camera guy he had shared the room with interrupted his internal pep talk by getting up and walking to the bathroom. A good excuse for him to stay in bed just a little bit longer. Even more of a relief was when he heard the shower start.

Max rolled back onto the side he had slept on and cuddled up with his pillow. He wondered what Nev was doing right this second. Also, how he had looked when he woke up, if his hair was as messy, and most importantly; if he was thinking the same things about him.

Max knew the odds of that. He wasn't a gambling man, but he'd be willing to bet that Nev was getting up to get on with his morning without even giving him a passing thought. But maybe, just maybe, if he were lucky, Nev would give him a personal wake up call. He sometimes did that if he had been cold the day before.

Sure enough there was a little tap at the door and Nev entered with a small camera in hand. Max pulled the covers up over his shoulders and pretended to be asleep so Nev would have to come closer. Nev crept up softly as if he were going to do that anyway. There was a shift of the mattress as if he had sat down then a hand went to his shoulder and softly shook.

"Wake up sleepy head." Nev drawled out as he snaked the camera around to get Max's "just woken-up face". Max noticed this and tried to give a convincing one. Nev grabbed the top of the blanket and pulled it lower to get a better shot with the camera. While doing this he lightly ran his fingers down Max's arm and they both wondered if the other had noticed that or not. Max gave a sleepy smile and opened his eyes only to a squint.

Max rolled back into the pillow and yawned deeply. If he couldn't wake up next to Max every morning then this was certainly the next best thing. He used the wall behind the bed to push off and stretched as far as his body could possibly go then rolled onto his back. He had slept shirtless and the stretching and flipping had the blanket around his abdomen, right where Max had intended for it to end up. Well, actually it could be on the floor along with his and Nev's clothes but with this little of a barrier between him and Nev, this was not the time to think of such things.

Nev tried to tear his eyes away from Max's chest but he just couldn't seem to. God, why had he picked last night to sleep with his shirt off. He had always been envious of Max's hair free chest, probably because it was the exact opposite of what he had. A thick carpet of dark hair covering his entire chest, and unfortunately lower. But the envy was not the reason he could not look away. Max had started working out with him and his pecks were becoming more defined. Also his abs looked tighter. He was nowhere near being ripped but the way his muscles sprawled across his chest is what held his stare.

"Camera guy was asleep when I got out of the shower last night. Didn't want to wake him up with the light and didn't want to fumble through my bag more than I had to."

Nev distantly heard Max's words and had a passing thought of whether or not he had managed to find his underwear in the dark. He cleared his throat and pushed those thoughts to the back burner where he usually kept them. He hit the little red button on the camera to end that recording, not really sure of what he had recorded.

Nev hopped up before he could continue his train of thought. "So, I'm going to run down to the lobby and get us some Starbucks. What are you feelin' this morning?"

A devilish smile played at Max's lips but he controlled it and concealed it. Oh today was going to be a good day. The days that Nev spent sucking up to him made him feel like the day before wasn't that bad. But Nev only kept this up if Max could play his cards right. Max needed to act mad still. The days was just getting started after all.

He sat up on the edge of the bed with the blanket still precariously covering his groin. He had seen Nev's wandering eyes and wanted to keep him guessing as to whether or not he had more on than this. "I'll have whatever you're having" he said absently as another yawn crept up. It was a nice touch to his nonchalance even though he hadn't meant to do it.

Nev looked crestfallen that Max hadn't shown more enthusiasm about his offer. Sure he was still getting them coffee but he wanted to get Max something that he wanted, not just whatever Nev was getting.

"Well, alright." Nev fiddled with the camera in an attempt to hide how hurt he was. He turned and started towards the door. With a backwards glance he added, "but you better be up and dressed when I get back."

As the door closed Max allowed the smile to finally break. He felt only slightly bad about the way he treated Nev on days like this because honestly, he deserved it. Nev couldn't be the one with the power all the time. It felt nice to have Nev's emotions in his hands instead of the other way around. He got up and started getting dressed. A good day indeed.

Max already had the laptop set up and the webcam in the optimum position when Nev returned. He walked carefully as he had two steaming cups of coffee in his hands.

Nev held a cup out to Max in a fashion that could have been taken as a peace offering.

"White mocha caramel" Then he made eye contact. "made with soy milk."

Max took the cup with a smirk and an approving nod. Ok. This boy was really trying today. Max didn't have anything against cow milk, it's just that soy milk gave coffee that little extra something. Especially Starbucks coffee.

Max took the lid off so it could cool a bit and breathed in its aroma deeply. He exhaled with a "hmmmmm". Nev was still standing there as if the coffee had displeased Max in any way he would have ran it back down to the lobby to change or fix it. Max said thank you and then suggested they get to work.

Nev took his seat in the office chair next to Max thinking that that was the best he was going to get of a thank you. Max was either still mad at him or was toying with him, either way he would go along with it because he felt like he deserved it. He wished so badly that he could openly have feeling for Max, but he had been suppressing it for so long now that it seemed second nature. Also, he didn't want to lose his friend. He had lost him once after Nev dropped out of college.

The pressure had become too much for Nev. He was failing most of his classes anyway and then that night at the frat house changed everything. He had been pretending for so long that he was strictly straight. He tried to drown out his thoughts and desire of Max in any girl that would give him the time of day, which in the Greek system, was plenty. That still hadn't changed his feelings for Max. That night had scared him so much because all of his suppressed thoughts had been brought to a boil so quickly.

Soon thereafter, Nev had dropped out of college to pursue other interests. Other interests that turned out to be nothing more than staying at home all day on the internet. He moved in with his brother and became a recluse. He tried to avoid talking to people because all they really had to talk to him about was, "so what are you doing now?" "do you have a job yet?" " I'm here if you need someone to talk to." And though all of this seemed concerned and helpful coming from their perspective, it had only made him feel worse, especially the last one. Most definitely he avoided talking to Max.

He already thought of Max enough. The constant attempts to get in touch with him only made him feel worse. He couldn't face Max. At first for the fear that the freedom he had now would send him into a tailspin. He thought the words "I Love You, while they had been together that night and he still felt that wholeheartedly. God only knew what he would do if they had the freedom to be themselves. Later what kept him from talking to Max was the fact that his life had gone nowhere since he dropped out. Max had gone on to graduate and was probably doing something great. A lot more than Nev had accomplished which was an online relationship of 3 years.

When his brother suggested they do their final film project on him and his online relationship, Nev was hesitant. Finally agreeing to do the film was the one decision that had changed all their lives forever and had even brought Nev and Max back together. After his public failure of online dating had been displayed to the world Nev retreated even futher into his reclusive shell. When Nev finally worked up the nerve to get back on the internet, his first stop was Facebook. No more dating sites for him. He was exasperated at the amount of messages and notifications he had. His phone had been going so wild lately that when it died, he simply didn't recharge it. He clicked the little red icon just to make it go away but it took him to the messages page. One in particular stood out to him. Max had messaged him. He had given up trying to contact him for a while. He had no doubt watched his public humiliation. Nev wanted to open a vein in a hot bath. Instead he open that one message from Max. It simply said "Hey".

Nev was on the verge of ignoring it like he had all the others Max had tried to send before that, but he just sat there staring at the tiny icon of his profile picture. Nev was more alone now than he had ever been. He craved the old friendship that he used to have with Max and even felt himself tearing up at the thought of how much fun they used to have together. Just then, the little green dot appeared next to his icon picture and a new message appeared.

Hey!(: You aren't still ignoring me are you?

Nev's heart skipped a few beats. It was hard to ignore a message when the person was right there on the other end of the computer. It almost felt like they were in the same room having an actual conversation. Somehow his fingers found their way to the keyboard but he had no idea what to say. Instead he put his number. The first time they talked in years wasn't going to be over the internet.

Nev raced to his phone to put it on the charger and get it turned on. He hoped to hell he hadn't missed the call. He berated himself about not having his phone charged when it started to vibrate in his hand. He hadn't missed it.

He slid the green phone to the right to answer the call and cleared his throat so his voice didn't crack. "Hello?"

"Nev?" A hesitant voice was on the other end but it was most definitely Max.

It was so good to hear his old friend's voice that a sharp gasp caught in his throat. His voice came out soft because if it were any louder it would have broken. He was on the verge of tears as it was.

"Yeah, it's me." His hand went to his throat. He was sitting on the floor because his mind had only been focused on getting the phone on the charger and not optimum seating. But instead of moving, he remained on the floor, put his back to the bed, and pulled his knees up. He rested his chin there while the two of them talked. They talked for hours about everything under the sun. They even talked about the documentary his brother had made about Nev's online dating escapades, but at that point in their conversation, he didn't seem bothered or embarrassed by it at all. He was talking about it with his best friend, and it was as if they hadn't been apart for more than a few hours.

Things had really started falling into place for Nev after that. His brother called with the news that MTV wanted to make their documentary into a tv show and the rest seemed so rushed that it was even a jumbled mess in Nev's head. One thing he knew for sure was that he could not go forward with this show without Max in his life and before he knew it he had asked Max to be his partner in it. Nev's brother wasn't too happy about it, but then took a very cushy job of assisting in producing the show, so his distaste for bringing in a new face was quieted.

So on days like today, Nev thought about how happy he was to get his friend back and the depression that had come with losing him. Now they were contractually obligated to be together, but it just didn't seem as fun if Max was mad at him. Nev had always wanted a job that he loved doing, and he loved this, and he loved Max. He just had to keep it all from falling apart, which seemed easier said than done lately.

Nev did still have feelings for Max and even though he had pushed him away for so long, he could tell that Max was still deeply in love with him. It hadn't been just some college crush. As cliché as it was, that old saying was right. If you love something let it go, and if it comes back, it's meant to be yours. Or something like that. But they had found their way back to each other and the feelings were still there. Which as much as he hated to do it, is why Nev had to push him away once again. They still weren't free to be together. As edgy as MTV tried to be, he really doubted they'd let the show stay on if the two main guys got together. That had to be a conflict of interest right? It would definitely interfere in some way with their new career. So, once again those emotions would stay locked away.

Maybe after the show. Then again he said the same thing about after college.

Max had gotten all the equipment set up and was pulling up the email now. As random as they tried to make it look, the producers had looked into each email and selected ones they thought would make a good show. Their picks lately had been very interesting. Trying to spice up the show. Maybe they weren't about to get canceled. Max made a mental note to talk to Nev about that later.

The girl popped up on the web cam and spun her tragic love story about this boy from Philadelphia. She lived in Idaho. Ma always wondered how these strangers find themselves in these situations. Why even start a relationship with someone when you live halfway across the country from them. Oh yes, MTV was going to love this one. It was indeed an expensive show to film. Every single case just happened to be at least 5 states away from the person. But then again, MTV did pick all the cases, so it was their own fault.

As they disconnected they sat back in their chairs and discussed the logistics of the case or the cameras. This seemed like a promising case. It didn't sound too sketchy, just some bad connections in an otherwise healthy relationship. But then again, didn't they all? No, actually there were a few that it didn't take a rocket scientist to realize they were being lied to, but love makes you crazy.

The cameras shut off and camera guys went to get some breakfast. They always left Nev and Max to do their own thing. Max was comfortable working the cameras anyway, it is what he had gone to college to do. HE wanted to be a camera guy for some tv show and an opportunity had fallen in his lap that was so much more than that. He got to be a camera man for Nev, in a tv show that Nev had so graciously wanted Max to co-host with him. The only downfall was that he was limited to the shots he could get with the handheld camera. Sure they were up-close-and-personal shots of him and Nev doing some research, but that's all they had until the camera guys showed back up.

The two headed out to get some breakfast of their own and do a little research on the boy from Philly.

Max sat there next to Nev in coffee shop with his camera in hand. He alternated between shots of Nev and what they were doing onscreen. All he was really was a glorified camera guy. Nev did most of the talking.

Max wondered what was going to happen when the show did end. He was logical, no show could last forever. MTV would get tired of shipping them across the U.S. and the viewers would eventually tire of seeing the same things happen over and over again. What would happen to the two of them when the show ended?

Max had had hopes of things working out for them in college, especially after Nev dropped out, but then Nev started ignoring him. He even made a few attempts to come see him and his brother would always say he wasn't there or was asleep. He couldn't take Nev disappearing again

They got all the information that they needed at the moment by the time the food came. Though he was starving a few minutes ago, he only pushed his food around the plate. The thought of losing Nev also made him lose his appetite. The silence was drowning, so what better time than now to talk about it.

"So, MTV certainly seems to be spicing up the cases that we take on." Max looked up from his plate and Nev had just taken a too big, mouthful of waffle so he just nodded in response.

At least Nev's full mouth gave him a chance to say what he needed to, "You don't think they are going to-?"

He was interrupted by a furvent, "No!"

"You are pretty confident on that." But Max was unsure and uneasy. He went back to pushing the food around his plate.

"I am because we have a hit show. Everyone loves us! There would be riots in the streets if they took us off air!" Nev emphasized each exclaimation with raised eyebrows and a swing of his fork, which by the end of his little rant was thrust up towards the ceiling. Max wondered if he realized there was waffle on said fork.

"You're dripping syrup, Mr. Popular." Motioning with his own fork to Nev's.

Nev brought his fork down and to his mouth. He took the bite and then said, "Trust me, we have nothing to worry about." This time he only swayed his fork for emphasis in front of Max. "Now if you don't eat, and don't stop pushing that around the plate, then I'm just going to have to feed you myself."

Max was beyond shocked but managed to keep his expression of that down to a few rapid blinks. He managed a forkful of eggs and slowly brought them to his mouth. Nev looked satisfied that he had been obeyed and picked up the bacon from his side plate.

"Yeah, my brother told me that they wanted to change it up a bit, which I think they are doing pretty well. I mean we had two episodes that weren't even relationships."

Max smiled, "Have they told you to act sporadically and throw people's phones in the water?"

Nev laughed and Max was so relieved to see a smile on his face. "No, they haven't. I figured that an edgy Nev is just what this new spicy show needed." He emphasized the word spicy by shaking his shoulders as though he were dancing to some Latin song.

"We really should have called the cops on that guy. I mean we had everything they would need to make an arrest."

"Yeah. He deserved a lot worse than a wet phone. But hey, who knows how many people you just saved from fraud because he lost their contact info."

Nev hadn't thought of that. The guy had been scamming people for thousands of dollars, and Nev just kind of lost his patience with the guy when he got on his phone and wouldn't talk to them.

"Talk about shaking the show up huh?"

"Diva Nev", Max said snapping his fingers in a z pattern.

"Hardly" Nev said reaching his fork over to steal some of Max's eggs.

The silence crept up again. Max's mind was still racing with thoughts of what would happen if the show did get cancelled. Where would it leave the two of them?

Without looking up from his plate Max quietly said "What if it does though?"

Nev's head popped up and made eye contact with Max. "Max, please with the "What-ifs"". His sounded exhausted with the topic. "The show is not going to get cancelled."

"I just want to know where it will leave us if it does." The words escaped his mouth before they could be filtered through his brain. He silently cursed himself for letting something like that slip. He was usually so in control.

Now, much like that one night many years ago, the unanswered question hung in the air between them. It made the air icy and uncomfortable.

Nev's head dropped. The look in Max's eyes was too much. All the pain he saw there was caused by him. "I'm not going to disappear again."