Nick's Pregnant Wife

"Hey Nora, how are you?"

"I am good Brian, thank you. Haven't seen you in so long."

"I know! Oh hey, here you go... these are the papers for Nick."

"Thank you, you wanna come in?"

"Nah, I really should get home soon."

"Come in, you just drove, what? An hour and a half? That's crazy. Come in! Nick will be home soon."

"Actually I do have to use the bathroom. Hmmmm... I guess I'll wait for Nick. Haven't seen him in a few weeks anyway."

"Great, come on in. We have beer and wine."

"Thanks."

************

"I am glad you washed up. You want something to eat?"

"Oh no, Nora, thank you! Nothing at all. I promised my parents I'd have dinner with them."

"Well, make yourself comfortable. I'll pour you some wine unless you want a beer?"

"Oh no, wine would be great."

"Alright."

************

"So tell me... how's the pregnancy going?"

"Well Brian, it's going. The second trimester just started. Hopefully everything goes well."

"Yeah I hope so too! Best of luck!"

"Thanks."

"You just got home from work, right?"

"Yeah, it was a long day."

"Tell me about it. Are you planning to take some time off as the due date gets closer?"

"Yeah I am looking forward to it."

"I bet. By the way, this is great wine." "Yeah Nick got it from his boss".

"Sorry you can't drink..."

"(-Sigh-) It's ok. I don't even crave drinking anymore."

"Hey, it'll all be over soon."

"Yeah, and don't get me wrong. I complain but I am super excited to be a Mom! But Brian, the biggest thing I am dreading is getting fat!"

"Oh shut up, a person with your figure won't look all that... uh... fat."

"Dude even the hottest girls look big when they're pregnant."

"Yeah but I know for a fact that YOU won't."

"(Laugh) Shut up."

"I am serious, you're so little."

"Don't call me short, I'll hit you!"

"Come on! Have I ever?"

"Ok you're right. You're the nicest friend Nick has. You're the one friend of Nick's who never calls me short."

"Thanks for recognizing! Plus I am too short to call anyone that."

"OK now you shut up! You're not short!"

"I SO am! But anyway, the point is that you can never look bad."

"Why, thank you! But I am just scared what if I don't lose the weight after the birth?"

"With your genes, you'll be back to looking as good as you do now, in no time."

"I am still scared."

"Don't be! So many people go through it. I mean, you know when Anne was pregnant she used to complain to me all the time. And believe me; she had a pretty tough time with it. Plus you know how our mom is. She was so pissed at Anne for getting pregnant so early to begin with. But thankfully everything went ok. And see, Anne even lost weight. I've never seen my sister this light since we were kids."

"I know. Doesn't make it hurt any less. You know?"

"Oh yeah, well that... I can't even imagine giving birth."

"You're a guy, you'll never know, Brian."

"Right. But hey! What if it's a Caesarian? That won't hurt giving birth at least."

"Yeah that's what Nick's mom was saying too, but the surgery isn't easy to come back from!"

"Oh God, yeah I bet."

"But least, you know, with a Caesarian... I'll stay tight down there."

"(Laugh) I bet Nick will appreciate that. Lucky guy."

"(Laugh) Well, we'll see."

"Oh I bet Nick's totally rooting for a C-section."

"Yeah he might now but the scar will look hideous on me. Wait 'til he sees the scar!"

"Why worry about it now? I bet it won't look bad."

"Not sure what the heck Nick wants though. It's not like he didn't know what pregnant ladies look like. Now I am dreading the scar. Plus, he thinks I am fat already!"

"What? But you barely look pregnant now!"

"Well not according to him!"

"Come on, is he blind?"

"You tell me! See? How big is it? Tell me? Here, see..."

"Well, Nora..."

"Hmm?"

"Well you're only in the first trimester.You look as normal to me as always! You have great skin. Plus you have an innie."

"Yeah I'd hate to have a bulging pregnant belly button."

"I wanna see your belly in the 8th month. I'll remind you again. (Laugh)"

"Oh hell no, you aren't seeing it after today!"

"OK fine but if you still look hot, and you decide that, then you can show me."

"Like anyone looks hot in their 8th month of pregnancy."

"Well, we'll see. (Smile)"

"You're funny."

"Any time."

"You want more wine?"

"Sure. Nick better come home soon though. I should really get going."

"Let me call him. Hang on; I'll get you another glass first".

************

"The wine's great."

"Thanks."

"So Nora... Like we were talking about before, if you could, which option would you pick, purely physically?"

"Hmmm... what do you mean, physically?"

"Based on physical preference. You know, like you said you don't want the scar but you still wanna stay tight down there."

"Oh that?"

"Yeah."

"You know, it's tough. Who the hell wants that scar?"

"Yeah."

"But right now I am thinking I don't want my thingy-thing to be split open all loose either!"

"(Laugh) Of course!"

"I still wanna be able to feel Nick inside of me, you know?"

"Damn right! You wanna be able to enjoy sex even after giving birth."

"Exactly. I won't even be able to have sex properly in a few months. I'd be completely immobile. Like a freaking ice cream van parked in the same spot!"

"Again, stop freaking out! It doesn't look big at all now! You'll just be normal, is all!"

"You keep saying that, and thanks, but what am I gonna do then? Just lay flat on my back? (Laugh) I am dreading that."

"You're silly."

"GOD! I am so hormonal already, though."

"Ah gotcha! You're moody?"

"Well, hormonal changes. Wait until your woman has a baby first (Laugh)."

"Ah..."

"Come on, you know, Brian!"

"Ah... I get it (Laugh)"

"Yeah! Believe me... I am, like, getting all the sex positions out of the way these days."

"(Laugh)"

"Yeah I am horny all the time! Can you imagine!?"

"Well, I can't! Nick is such a lucky bastard."

"Only if he could make good use of it!"

"Oh he's married to you for a reason! I am sure he does!"

"No he doesn't! He's always so busy! Look at him now, he's not even home!"

"I am sure it's a work-related reason right now."

"Yeah but we barely do it like once a week!"

"God, what an idiot?!"

"I know, I'll be so big soon, I wanna have as much sex as I can now."

"Yeah, I guess I understand. (Laugh)"

"I joke with him. You know? I tell him that since I am pregnant now, I can fuck his friends any time and he won't even know!"

"That's hilarious!"

"Yeah I joked with him and told him that I'd even do YOU to make him jealous. He knows I have always liked you best out of all his friends."

"(Gasp) You... what?!"

"Yeah, seriously, that's what I told him!"

"Nora, you ARE hilarious!"

"Well, I have always liked you best out of all the people I have met through Nick."

"(Smile) Thanks. I guess?"

"No, seriously, come on, you know that."

"(Laugh) I do."

"Yeah, you're handsome, you're smart. You're always so charitable and helpful. Look you just got back from an hour and a half drive after working a long day and you're here delivering papers for Nick who isn't even here. You'll make some woman very happy some day!"

"I hope so."

"I know so. But yes, I told him I'd totally fuck you if he doesn't (Laugh)"

"Ridiculous! I am laughing just picturing it."

"But Brian, guess what? He didn't even get jealous!"

"Come on! It's because he knew it was a joke." "Yeah but still."

"Yeah, I understand."

"Brian, you know what it is? I just can't believe he doesn't get attracted to me as much as I'd like."

"That must suck. But I am sure it's because he has a lot on his mind. I doubt it's because he's not attracted to you. I mean, look at you!"

"Oh no. He told me so! Remember I was telling you he thinks I am big already."

"That's ridiculous. I completely disagree with him, Nora."

"Yeah? Tell me. What would you do, Brian?"

"Oh, like I said, well I am not with anyone but if I was, and she was pregnant, I wouldn't hold out on sex!"

"Right?!"

"Absolutely! I think Nick should make the best out of this time. It's not like you're going to be pregnant forever. He's missing out. Me, personally? I don't get turned off from pregnant women. On the contrary, I am fascinated by their bodies! But that's just me. So like I said, I wouldn't hold out on sex. I'd do it as much as I could."

"Right! Wouldn't you?"

"Of course."

"Well, Nick barely takes my clothes off, Brian. At least you looked at my belly."

"(Laugh) I'd be a fool turn down looking at any part of you."

"Oh yeah I know you won't hold out on me."

"I sure as hell won't."

Tell me what you would do?"

"Yeah Nora, well like I said firsthand. Nick's missing out. I'd have sex with you everyday if I was married to you."

"(Sigh) Oh won't that be the life."

"That's the way to do it."

"I wish! You're the only one these days who tells me I look good."

"I love how your belly looked. Wish I could see more of you."

"Oh, Brian, rest assured, the rest of me is fat too."

"It is not, I guarantee it."

"Oh! Everything is!"

"Come on, like what?"

"I don't know Brian, everything! My arms, my back, my thighs."

"Well, your arms and your back look sexy as ever. I can't see your thighs though."

"They're fat too."

"Let me see and I can judge, then?"

"OK but promise you won't be scared by my granny panties, ok?"

"I won't. I bet they look hot."

"(Laugh) No they don't."

"Wow, perfect figure."

"You're so full of shit, Brian!"

"I am not! Everything looks... so proportional."

"No Brian... they're just... ugly, fat thighs!"

"Silly! Where's the fat? Lemme see."

"Come close! But only if you dare! They're so big now. I feel like an elephant."

"Would you please not be so stupid? You look beautiful!"

"It feels so good to hear that, Brian."

"And your thighs feel so smooth. You have such great skin."

"Thanks for all the compliments, you're too nice."

"The pleasure is all mine. And see? There's no fat!"

"It tingles when you pinch! (Laugh)"

"I am just feeling to see where this supposed fat of yours is!"

"But it feels so good too! (Smile)"

"It feels good to me too."

"Oh Brian, don't touch that close. (Breathing heavily)"

"Yeah you're right, I should probably be using my tongue there."

"You would?"

"I'd like every drop of your pregnant juices off your pussy."

"You are driving me crazy!"

"You mind if I take off your shirt, Nora?"

"Do you mind if I take off your pants?"

"No, but what about Nick."

"He won't be here for another half hour at least."

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