Noah's Starship Ch. 19

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Nothing matters if you're gone.
10.9k words
4.77
6.2k
9

Part 19 of the 22 part series

Updated 06/07/2023
Created 02/28/2016
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[Nothing matters if you're gone...]

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We have this habit of walking to the yogurt place a few blocks down Ventura from our house. I load mine up with fruit and cereals while Navid loads his down with protein bits and healthy stuff for muscles. I was excited when we saw one inside the casino resort he took me to for the weekend. It was a business trip with some old clients who were looking to invest more in a few places out in Palm Shadows. He would have to work some, but he promised we would have time together without them.

His work had gotten even crazier since the Fall. He was either out on business, chauffeuring me to school and back, or at the gym. Some nights he came home when I was already in bed. He'd eat out with the clients or grab a protein shake after the late night workout. It was cutting into our sex life too. He'd come home so tired that we'd either rush through it or I'd pretend to already be asleep while I fumed at him silently for being gone so much. His stress was killing things.

There was barely an "us" anymore when he worked like this. He would never complain about it to me. He'd ask how my day was and then turn back to his phone emails when I tried to answer. I didn't even know how to talk to him about it. He was finding so much success, but didn't even seem to enjoy it. Something was definitely up. I wondered if it was us.

So here we were to have a fun weekend in Palm Shadows. Navid has a love for the mega resorts in the desert because they have casinos and he does pretty well at the card tables. We'd brought his best friend Aram along who was still dating my best friend Erik. Navid and Karim's business had gotten big enough to bring in some help.

Aram was finally finishing his business degree so Navid was showing him the ropes. It had created some tension between the two. Navid is meticulous with his business, organized and always working. Aram is a little more carefree and Navid could be a tough boss.

I'd been in the car a few times when Navid and he were yelling back and forth in Persian through the carphone. I didn't need to speak their language to know that Navid was not pleased with anything less than perfection. Even Karim had told him to ease up. The two had been friends since early childhood though and I knew this dynamic between them had likely weathered worse. The morning after one of their worst arguments though, Aram still came over and they laughed together about some older white guy client who was drooling over Aram.

I didn't dare get in the middle of it. Erik didn't either. When we hung out neither of us mentioned the problems between them. We had our own friendship to think of and our Persian men wouldn't want us discussing their problems anyways.

Things had cooled down and now the four of us were all together in the desert for a fun weekend with just a little bit of work for the guys, or so I thought. Friday the guys went out to show the clients some properties they were interested in. Erik and I stayed behind and played at the resort. They had a small waterpark. It was like two slides on either side of a big pool, but it was enough for us. It was fun to hang out with him somewhere other than home or campus.

Erik filled me in on what was going on with the two of them. Aram was more easy going than Navid. He let Erik be himself more and go out with friends unescorted. Aram clearly loved him, but he was less caught up in the hyper-masculine religious role than Navid was. Navid deeply believed it was his calling to be the man, the alpha, the chief of our tribe of two.

Aram was less concerned with playing that role. He didn't think Erik needed so much protecting. He'd adjusted quicker to the culture here where a man was judged by different standards and the concept of weaker and stronger in a relationship wasn't so prominent. He was even ok with Erik hanging out as friends with a guy he'd dated before. I'd never been with anyone other than Navid, but I couldn't imagine him being ok with that. Navid would want me far away.

Erik said Aram had even started "going down" on him. Aram apparently was pretty good at sucking him and they traded off when they were together. I couldn't even imagine Navid wanting to acquire that skill. But like Navid, Aram didn't want Erik anywhere near his ass. Erik said he didn't have any interest in giving anyways, but he still thought it was odd Aram set that as off-limits.

I told him Navid would occasionally take a passing interest in my dick, usually with just his hand, but that I wasn't sure I even wanted oral sex from him. Maybe I bought into the role Navid was trying to play. I liked his hyper-masculine dominant role... to a point. I was getting better at raising my voice and being heard when I needed to. But I like Navid being my alpha. I feel safe with him. Erik nodded vigorously at that statement.

"Yes! Noah! You like being his overprotected boy! You've always liked that straight guy dominant swagger. I think you read too many teen romance novels. I couldn't handle that. I like having more freedom. Aram is a lot more westernized than Navid. I guess... But whatever. You're happy and it works for you. So as long as he's good to you, I'm happy," Erik shrugged.

"Aram is good to you. You guys look so happy together," I noted.

"He's so fucking hot, Noah. The things he does when we're doing it. It's like nothing I've ever done with someone. Nasir could have been as good, but he was so selfish and took no interest in what I wanted. He was so mean and when we broke up I really felt like I didn't deserve someone who would be nice to me. He got off on making me feel like shit, Noah." Erik shuddered.

"You never told me that! Navid would have kicked his ass. That's terrible!" I rubbed his shoulder.

"It's over... Aram just gets me. He knows how to make me completely lose control but yet feel so safe. He's sweet too. He always surprises me with little things that let me know he gets me. Like I always find a new pack of gum in my backpack, the exact kind I like. Or when I first spent the night at his place and he gave me a toothbrush with my name on it like he'd planned it and wanted it to be special. It's little things, but he's just the perfect guy... and that dick," Erik exclaimed.

"Oh yeah. It's crazy, right?" I laughed knowingly.

"It's not just that, it's what he knows how to do with it. It's like he took a class or studied with some master in the himalayan peaks. It's spiritual with him. He zens out with it and makes me feel incredible." Erik was blushing a little as we looked around to make sure we were out of earshot of others.

"Navid does that too... well he did. Lately it's been... But yeah it's crazy," I laughed. I decided I didn't want to share too much with Erik about our problems. Luckily, Erik didn't pick up on my comment anyways. He was too caught up in thinking about Aram.

"Yeah. I didn't think I would like Aram after seeing you with Navid. Like... I'm cool with Navid now, but when you first started going out with him, you just disappeared on me. I understood it somewhat. He's super hot; those big brown eyes and that voice!" Erik looked a little starry-eyed at talking about Navid.

"It sends chills through me when he speaks sometimes. Especially when he's sleepy or a little congested. It gets deeper. So hot. I save his voicemails. I have a collection of them to listen to when he's gone some nights and I miss him... It's weird. I know," I swooned.

"Well... um yeah, but... I hated how he kept you from everyone. You dropped out of everything. Then he put all these rules on you like some kind of cult leader. It seemed really shitty Noah, but you were like in a trance with him. I was so worried for you. We all were. We lost you for awhile. It sucked." Erik was unloading.

"I guess I was. I just never felt like that about anyone or had someone like him be into me. I didn't even think it was possible. He's such a... dude, a guy, a man. I didn't think he could ever really like me like that," I admitted.

"That's bullshit, Noah. You're a hot guy. You totally blossomed after graduation but you never saw it. Plus you dress better now and feel more confident. You used to wear the same little Noah uniform everyday. Like you were going out to play in the sandbox like a little kid." Erik laughed. He'd always thought it was odd that I wore a plain t-shirt and jeans everyday. He knew very well though that my dad never made enough money for me to keep up with trends. Plus being raised by a single dad meant I had no access to style or fashion even if I cared about it.

"Navi pushes me to buy clothes. Plus his mom sends us stuff from Europe. I never wanted to be a super trendy guy. He likes to get me things," I pointed out.

"Even in High School you weren't bad looking but you just never seemed to like yourself. You always wanted to just disappear and not be in anyone's way. You're too cute and sweet to say no to jerks. It's why I look out for you. But now I see he really does want the best for you, even if his rules are a little crazy. But you're ok with them, so I'm happy for you." Erik finished.

"Thanks, I hope you and Aram work out too. You're perfect together. He's so into you," I told him.

We finished up at the pool and headed back to our rooms to clean up for when the guys came back. I took a nap and worked on some homework for my classes. Erik was probably watching TV and wasting time online.

Navid didn't come back until late, but he sent Aram to take us for dinner. He texted that he would be back by nine so that we could get some yogurt and watch a movie that was coming on tv. I had dinner with Erik and Aram before going to clean up the room and wait for Navid.

He texted before nine to say that they were back, but that the clients wanted him to play a few hands at the casino with them. He said to go ahead and get the yogurt for both of us and he'd meet me up in the room. I sighed as I read his text. He hadn't responded to the texts I'd sent that day.

I was getting annoyed. He had said that this weekend we'd finally have time together. So far though I'd just hung out with Erik and I knew Erik wanted alone time with Aram. I wondered if Navid was bored with me, if the excitement was over. Maybe that's how relationships mature, but it sucked. I wanted him with me. I wanted him wanting me like I wanted him.

I went down and got yogurt for us. I made his just the way he liked it, but when I got back up to our room he still wasn't back. I set them on the table and laid down to turn on the movie. It was a movie I'd seen hundreds of times and I really wanted Navid to watch it with me.

It was a movie Erik and I had laughed through so many times. His DVD copy of it was all scratched up from us watching it. But this time I couldn't enjoy it. I was getting angry every time it passed a part I knew Navid would enjoy. We were supposed t see it together. The more I watched, the more upset I got. By the second commercial break both the frozen yogurt and my mood had melted.

I felt truly alone, lonely, sad. I realized it had been going like this for too long now. We couldn't go on this way. I didn't know how to fix it.

My phone chirped and I thought it was Navid, but it was just Erik asking what we were up to. I told him Navid wasn't back and I felt like calling my dad to come get me. Erik wrote back that I should join them in their room. I didn't respond so a few minutes later he knocked on my door and offered a hug.

"Cmon, Noah. Don't be sad. We can watch something together until he comes back. Then we'll yell at him together. He's being shitty, but come back and hang with us." Erik offered. He caught my arm and tugged on it. I nodded and followed him back to his room.

Aram was stretched out on the couch wearing just a small, loose pair of jogging shorts. I could tell they'd already had sex time. They were both freshly showered. Aram had that look Navid got when he finished seeding me. It was a look of accomplishment mixed with sleepiness like he was waiting for his trophy before he could nod off.

Erik went and laid next to Aram who was flipping through sports channels. Erik slid in under Aram's arm and patted the other side for me to lie down with them. Aram had a smoother chest than Navid's. He still had the youthful slender to his torso, but Erik looked at him like he was the only man he'd ever seen. I remembered that look. Navid and I used to look at each other that way.

I noted their bodies were more evenly matched than mine and Navid's. They were closer to equals though Aram was still definitely the man. Aram didn't carry the need to dominate him either. Erik spoke and even argued with him lightly in front of us. They seemed happy enough together though. I eyed them with jealousy.

I watched Erik run his hand down Aram's chest. He got too close to Aram's bulge, which the loose shorts did little to hide, and had his hand pushed away gently. I guessed Aram didn't want to get excited with me there in their bed.

"All right, Noah?" Aram asked. I just shrugged my shoulders. I realized I had been staring at his bulge. I missed the bulge I normally appreciated. I missed Navid. Aram reached over to me and ruffled my hair. He offered a gentle smile that seemed to know I wasn't ok.

"You know he is working really hard so you can have a secure life. You are all he thinks of, Noah. He is doing this for you. He says it is for your future," Aram said.

"Sure," I said in half-agreement. I looked over at the two of them cuddled together. I imagined them bouncing together. I imagined Erik would sit on Aram's lap when he took his cock.

My phone chirped again and this time it was Navid.

"Baby, where go you? The yogurt has melt in cups and tv is off. Where you go?" He wrote. I looked at it for a minute until the screen went dark. I set the phone down. My heart was pounding between anger, loneliness, and desire to run to him. I took a minute to think.

"You have to respond to him, Noah. He is worried." Aram took my phone off my lap and held it up for me.

"He was supposed to come up over an hour ago. He didn't even write to tell me he would be late. He's tired, not worried. He doesn't care as long as I'm not lost," I whispered to Aram as though the phone would hear me.

"You can't let him worry, that's not mature! I know you're young, but you have to know how it destroys him when he doesn't know you are safe. Be angry at him! Yell at him! Tell him what an asshole he is. Tell him he hurt your feelings! But the silent treatment is kid stuff. Don't do that. You're better than that," Aram cautioned.

I didn't take the phone immediately. I bit my lip and thought for a minute. I had waited all day for him to care and now Aram wanted me to ease his mind.

I shook my head no.

The phone chirped again and a text from Navid appeared. "BABY WHERE U ARE?" It read. Aram pushed the phone toward me again.

I shook my head no and looked away.

"Noah..." Aram sighed. He took the phone back and switched over to the Persian keyboard Navid had loaded on both our phones. He typed something out and sent it.

Navid quickly wrote back a smile emoji with its tongue hanging out.

"What did you write?" I demanded. I didn't want Navid happy right now.

"I said 'I have your boy. You couldn't satisfy him so he came running to a real man.'" Aram laughed. I wasn't in the mood for jokes and Aram's smile quickly faded.

"This isn't a joke," I affirmed and he nodded solemnly.

A few seconds later Navid was pounding on the door and Erik hopped up to let him in. Navid saw me just as Aram slipped his arm around me and pulled me into his chest protectively. Navid's eyes narrowed angrily in jealousy at the sight and the smile on his face disappeared.

"Baby! I try to get away. I lose track of time. I won so much and the clients wouldn't let me leave! We have winnings," Navid said as though that would make up for it. He came over and sat on the bed, pushing Aram's arm away from me with an annoyed look at him.

Navid looked so cute in his tight, green polo shirt tucked into pressed khaki pants. I picked the shirt out, it made his chest look impressive and hugged his biceps just right. He was irresistible.

"I waited for you. You didn't even care enough to say you were busy. You were down having fun with your clients. You forget about me until bedtime," I fumed. He reached for me and I pulled away.

"It was business, baby. You know I have to secure a future for us. Is everything I do for us!" Navid protested with a deep sigh as though I was being unreasonable. He reached for me again and his hand settled on my shoulder.

"There's no 'us' when you're working this crazy! There hasn't been an 'us' in a while now. You work non-stop. All I do is feed you and clean up after you. Stop saying this is for us. It's for you. It's always for you and your clients," I shot back. I pushed off the bed and went for the door. I looked back to see Erik and Aram exchange questioning looks.

"Noah please let me explain. Do not run from me, baby love. This is for us, my sweet one," Navid begged. He got up to follow me. He caught up to me in the hallway and went to open the door to our room for me.

"I'm not your client, Navi. You don't need to sell me. You bring me out when there's a gay client and I'll help seal the deal, and you put me away when it's a straight client and I might mess something up. What's the point of making all this money when we can't enjoy time together?" I felt my voice sound whiny and it bothered me. He opened the door and I pushed inside. He'd put the yogurt cups in the trash, hiding the evidence of his failure.

"Noah, this is for you. It is all for you. I have to secure a future for you. I promise your father I will pay for your school through to the graduation. The world is so uncertain now! But I promise him I can provide good things for you. You do not understand. You are too simple to understand it," Navid sat on the bed and watched me pace around.

"I'm too simple? Are you kidding me? We have enough money. You make a ton! We have whatever we need. You have been working nonstop for months. You come home tired and spent. What am I missing?" I asked.

"Noah, you are child. You don't know the pressure. I protect you from it. I do all for you stay innocent from it. You can't understand the ugly things of being adult! You don't know of the pressures to get us to security future. You are being child." Navid was getting upset and it really rubbed me the wrong way.

"I'm a simple, ignorant child... and you've turned into an angry old man. I hope it's worth it. I hope you get your dream, Navi. I hope you finally get the project that lets you avoid me forever. I'm going to Erik's to sleep. I don't feel like an idiot child when I'm over there. I don't want to be around you anymore," I said quietly and turned towards the door.

"Noah, don't walk out from me. Please... sit with me... I tell you truth. I don't mean to hurt feelings for you. I love you so much. I can explain? I owe you explanation. Please come to me," Navid asked as he patted the bed.

I stood by the door and thought for a minute. I was so upset and yet so torn. I needed him and he hadn't been there for me in a while. I wondered what he meant about explanation. I'd been on the outside of his thinking process for months.

"You don't even stop working when we're together in bed. You used to want me. Now you just want to hurry up and get back to your emails. You're bored with me. You use work to avoid me and rush through things to fulfill your obligation. Well I don't need it! If you don't want me anymore than just tell me!" I felt my voice shaking as I tried to hold back my tears.

"My beautiful boy! How you can think this! There is no one I love more. No one I could ever want like I want you. I promise this is for you! You are all I care for, Noah. Nothing worth more! Please let me explain." He patted the bed again and looked at me with pleading eyes. I lost my resolve and went to him. He pulled me down into his lap. His strong arms around me felt secure, warm. It was a feeling I'd missed in the last few weeks.