Norma Rogers Ch. 08

"James Rogers, husband mine, for so long we have had a world between us, I didn't say let's make love, we have a world of time for that, but I promise you this, between our upper bodies there will never be anything between us in bed. Just let's give each other the benefit of our warmth for tonight; we will see what happens in the future."

After I removed his jacket, Jim drank his tea while I just wore panties and a waist slip. I drank my tea and, wrapping my arms around his chest, I drifted off to sleep, thinking of the wonderful day that I had just had. It was around 2 am when I woke and noticed he wasn't beside me, but where he had been lying was absolutely soaked with sweat. I looked and he was sitting on the floor, leaning back on the bed staring deep into the fire, his dark eyes apparently looking into the flames but really looking thousands of miles away into his experiences.

I quietly rose, slipped on a bed jacket and went round the bed to sit beside him, gently taking his hand, "What is it, Jim? What do you see there in the fire that keeps you up so late?"

He spoke as if in a dream. "Tis the faces of the men I see, the faces of the men that I took into that green hell and didn't bring out."

"Jim, you brought half your men out, and half of those you went to save, that is impressive for any commander."

"But they all trusted me to bring them home."

I had an idea. "Jim, think back to the night we met. What would have happened to the Baker family if you had made a mistake defusing that bomb?"

"They and I would have been killed, and we would never have met."

"Are you sorry that you could save the Bakers and others, and not the men in your troops?"

"When you put it so reasonable, of course not. It seems so different in the cold light of day."

"Jim, when you sent the ring with Hank's cousin, he told me something that I already knew, that you were one of the best commanders of men he had ever seen. He told me that your men would follow you through the gates of hell and back. Well, in Burma they did. Not all of them came back through those gates, but many did, and they saved many that you went to save. You did the best for them that you could do, and deep down you know that is all they asked of you. Now, for us, for your family, you have to do what they, your men, would have you do, and that is get better and do your best to make sure their passing is not for nothing."

I guessed it was going to be a sleepless night, not that I wasn't used to them, so I sat beside him and told him the story of Rudi, of my visits to Ireland to meet him, of what had happened to him both on the Eastern Front and on his return to Austria. The children began to stir, so I tucked John in Jim's lap and Angela in mine, then pulled two blankets over all of us. Eventually we slept again, huddled with our children in front of the fire. That was how Nancy found us when she brought up our morning tea, muttering all the while about her providing a perfectly good bed, yet us sleeping on the floor. Even Jim was laughing at the thought. I told her I would meet her in the kitchen with the children and help, if Jim could get a fairly hot bath. She went into peals of laughter, "A fairly hot bath! You forget, you are in the American Officers' Base Housing, and hot water is a given; how do you think we keep the children clean?"

I kissed Jim and picked up my two wriggling children, sending Jim off to the bath. "See you soon, done up all handsome to make me fall again."

His comment reassured me, "Norma, for the first time in a while I feel like cleaning myself up and dressing like an officer. I'll be down in a little."

"I learned how to do a really good line in washing backs, fronts and hair. Can I come in and help?"

He grinned, "That may make things take a wee while longer. I'll tell you, though, tis something I've sorely missed, so if you can convince our hosts to look after the children, I'll be ready in about 15 minutes, when I've shaved."

"I'll make a point of being there."

I went down to the kitchen and cleared everything with Nancy. Glenda laughed and remarked, "Probably the best thing you could do. Just don't get jammed in the tub."

I walked back up to the bathroom, and Jim had shaved, but was sitting in the tub with his back to me, sobbing quietly. I took off my clothes and slid in behind him, holding him tightly in my arms. "Ssh, you're safe among friends, it's all over. Most of your men got out, too, and they will be home with their families soon. You did all you could."

"I know that, I just keep seeing the faces of those who won't make it back."

"Do you have their family addresses?"

"No, but I can get them."

"Then this is what we will do. Get their names and addresses, and write to or visit their families. We will make a point of it, to let them know that their children or husbands didn't die in vain."

I began to soap him with a gentle lather, first his back, then moving around the front, I took some of Nancy's best exchange shampoo and began to work it into his hair. After rinsing him off, I began to work my fingers into the tight muscles in his back and neck. He began to relax once more, and I started to kiss around his ears as he started giggling at being tickled. I slid my hand around the front of his body down to his pubic area, and found to my surprise that he was very soft, hardly firming at all in spite of my efforts.

Suddenly he stood, stepped out of the bath, and began to dry himself. "Norma, for three years I've had to build walls and steel myself against wanting you so much, believing that at some time I would be home with you and our children and then I could relax and feel love. It's going to take a little time to pull those walls down. Just sitting here looking at you, I love you and want you so much, but when I try to convert that into action, I have a problem. I know with your help I'll overcome it, it will just take time. He pulled me to him and bent and kissed me, probing my mouth with his tongue as he did. He straightened up, "There now, do you have any doubt I'm glad to be home?"

We dressed together, Jim in his uniform, and went down and joined the others. As he had the previous day, Jim played with the children as much as he could and went to rest when they did while I packed our clothes. His parents called us around 9:30 that morning, and arrived at about 2pm. They had sailed on an early tide and were set to head for Bromley. After a lengthy hug with Jim, Mhairi had a long talk with Glenda before we got into the back of the car and we were off to see my parents. I was wondering what lay ahead of us in getting Jim fully fit once again.

When we got back to Mum's house, it was getting dark, so after Mum had finished hugging Jim and we had a quick meal, we got the children ready for bed. John and Dad were the asked for storytellers while Mum and I cleared up the dishes. Mhairi, as always, had brought food, so we put it all away in the pantry. Mhairi and Jim went into the front room after Mhairi had asked us to give her some time alone with him. We could hear the rumble of their voices as they talked, but not what was said. They talked for almost two hours, so long that we wondered what was happening, before they came back into the kitchen. I was standing making tea on the gas stove when Jim walked across to me and said, "Norma, I'm very sorry for the way I have been behaving," and then he put his arms around me and kissed me.

"Well, pray tell, what was that for, Mr. Rogers?"

"Well, Mrs. Rogers senior, who you must admit has had a lot more experience with reading my moods, has just finished telling me that I have one hell of a wife, and right now I don't deserve her at all, the way I have been behaving."

"This time I'm not going to argue with my mother in law, and I must admit I've been wondering just where you were sometimes since you came home."

"Well, it seems I'm much like my father was in that respect."

Mum interjected, "And your father-in-law, too. There is still a lot that he has never talked about since he came home in 1918, except when his old cronies come to visit and sit outside talking, never thinking we can hear them through the window."

Jim smiled, "It seems that we menfolk aren't nearly as strong and silent as we think we are, are we? Now, I think there has been enough talk for one night. Would there be a cup of tea, and maybe a wee drop of the craiture to be had?"

It was as if a curtain had lifted. Everyone relaxed a little as Mum poured tea, and Dad found a part bottle of whisky, enough for a small glass for each of us. It was like a little celebration, as if we had taken some steps back toward where we had been before Jim had been sent overseas.

Richards had been true to his word. The next day, a telegraph boy rang the doorbell with a telegram for Jim from the Royal Engineers' Depot. It stated that he was on convalescent leave for four weeks, after which he was to report to the medical section at Barton Stacey, where his condition would be assessed and his future duties determined. Mum and Mhairi promised to back us up, looking after the children if we wanted to go out together. It would be slow becoming a couple again, depending on each other again and enjoying the children while they were there, but also enjoying a break from them once in a while, and I was determined that was what we would do while we had the chance.

To Be Continued.