Not a Man Ch. 01

Hello readers! I've had the idea for this series of stories floating around my head for a while, and wasn't sure if people would like it. It revolves strongly around humiliation, and Henry's gradual journey of self discovery, so if that's not something you're interested in reading, you're forewarned. This is the first chapter, and I'd appreciate feedback if people would want to read the rest.

******

"Hey, Tess, how are you do—" I called out to her, as she walked by my desk. She was already gone before I finished, and with a sigh, I sat back in my seat.

Theresa Hopf, Tess to friends, was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She was about five-foot-five—the same height as me, actually—and had shoulder length, auburn hair, which she usually tied back in a ponytail. Her C-cup breasts looked big on her, and I knew first hand just how soft they were, thanks to an counter in the copy room. She had squeezed past me in the doorway, pressing those fabulous mounds against my back. I doubt she even remembered it, but it was a memory I masturbated over a lot. I was in love with her, and have been for over a year.

Now you're probably thinking that I sound pretty pathetic, and you'd be right. Tess and I used to sit at lunch every day, and just talk about random stuff. She played World of Warcraft, which I used to, so we even had something in common other than working at Lifelast, an insurance agency. Every time she looked at me with her big, brown eyes, my heart beat slightly faster.

That was, of course, before everything changed. Before Jay started working at Lifelast. He was everything I was not. Tall, muscular, with a strong jawline. He even worked in the same department as Tess, while I was stuck in the IT department. The only thing we had in common was the same amount of limbs, eyes, and ears, although I wouldn't be surprised if he had an extra arm stashed away somewhere.

Jay started showing up everywhere in my life. He practically invited himself to lunch with Tess and myself, and to my chagrin, they hit it off. Turns out they both grew up in the same, small city in rural Wyoming, and had the same taste in music. They talked for hours about their little home town, while I felt like a third wheel. And then I was even tasked with setting up Jay's workstation, spending the entire day in his cubicle, teaching him about Lifelast's remote data storage, internet filter, and other minutiae he needed to know.

Despite all that, he was oddly charismatic. I wanted to hate him, I really did, but he had a way of getting under your skin in a good way. Because of the way he and Tess got along, I saw him as a rival, trying to encroach on my territory. It took me a while to realize it, but Jay did not feel the same way at all. He was supremely unconcerned about my presence. To him, I was not a threat at all. He told hilarious stories about his old office, and his old manager, who managed to get arrested because of all the dumb shit he pulled. I even found myself laughing while he pulled faces, imitating his old boss.

I met him outside of work, once, at the gym. It had a great pool, and I tried going there a few times a month, just to get at least some exercise. I didn't need to lose weight or anything, maybe the opposite, but sometimes I dreamed of getting big and strong. Jay was there for the weights, of course. I don't know the names of all the equipment, but on the way in, I spotted him lying on a bench, lifting one of those metal bars with weights attached on either end, his muscles bulging.

Afterwards, in the locker room, he surprised me.

"Hey, it's Henry the IT guy," he greeted me jovially. Yeah, that was me. Henry Newman, the IT guy, not Henry the good friend of Tess.

Sitting down on the bench, pulling on my socks, I was dwarfed by his stature, and had to crane my neck just to meet his gaze. My eyes trailed over his thick, strong legs, and got stuck briefly on his crotch. I didn't mean to stare at it, but the bulge on his boxers was unmistakable. Like he smuggled a banana in his underwear.

That was another thing that two of us did not in common. Fully erect, I was about four inches big, rounding up. As a guy, it was something I thought about a lot. I always wondered if my dick was less than average because of my size, or if it was just a cruel trick by mother nature. It certainly didn't help with my confidence. It royally sucked, talking to girls, always wondering in the back of your mind if she's gonna laugh at you in bed.

Despite that, I did manage to lose my virginity in highschool, somehow. I've had three girlfriends since then, but it never developed into anything serious. Sex had never been that satisfying for them, as far as I was able to tell. More than anything, I just wanted to have that wild, pornstar sex you see on the internet all the time. The one where a chick is writhing on your cock, moaning while getting stuffed.

My eyes did eventually meet Jay's face, though, after getting a good view of his muscular body, sweaty from exercising.

"Great seeing you here, Henry, I didn't know you lifted."

"I don't, I'm just here for the pool."

"Ah, of course, cardio's the most important part. Gotta build up the stamina to please the ladies, eh?"

He slapped me on the shoulder, and excused himself to shower. Like I said, he was oddly charming, and I couldn't bring myself to hate the guy. More than anything else in the world, I was jealous of him. After that day, I always felt like a second-rate man if he was nearby.

Eventually, I found out I was wrong.

What changed my mind was seeing Jay and Tess together in the copy room, making out like teenagers. Jay leaned back against the copy machine, and Tess pressed her whole body against him, having to stand on the tips of her toes just to be able to reach his face.

My heart stopped, and it felt like someone punched me in the gut. Hard. My vision blurred, and I realized tears actually welled up. Jay's large hands wrapped around Tess' soft, supple buttcheeks, and he kneaded them fervently. Tess giggled, as Jay's hand slid between her legs, and rubbed her through the jeans.

Without them spotting me, I turned on my heel, and practically ran back to my cubicle. The wet noises of their kissing haunted me with every step. I fell into my chair, and tears rolled down my cheeks, unable to hold them back.

Seeing the woman I fantasized over, the woman I loved from afar, defiled by Jay, hurt. Physically, as well as emotionally. I told Darla, my boss, that I felt sick, and went home, almost crashing the car several times while replaying the scene from the copy room in my head.

My apartment was actually pretty big for just one person. I could easily afford it, and it was nice having extra space. When I arrived there, however, it just felt empty.

That was when I realized that I COULD hate Jay. But even more than him, I hated myself, for being a weak, pathetic loser, and not going after Tess earlier. She was the perfect woman, and I let get her snagged up by yet another testosterone charged jerk. Not that I blamed her, of course. I was the one that dropped the ball. I was the one that waited too long.

Well, I was determined not to wait a single second longer. Channeling my frustrations and anger, I hatched a revenge plan. Wiping away my tears, I went into the spare bedroom, and booted up my computer. I considered that room to be my 'command central,' and had converted into a media room.

I logged into Lifelast's VPN, and considered my options. My first impulse was to just delete Jay from the system, but that wouldn't really accomplish anything, and might get me into more trouble than him. One of the benefits of working in the IT department was having access to all the servers and databases. I didn't even need to know Jay's password to be able to read his mailbox, all I had to do was write a small script that pulled from the database directly, bypassing the IMAP server entirely.

It was the most unethical thing I have ever done in my five years working at Lifelast, and I knew it. My fingers trembled in a combination of anger and jealous as I typed in the commands. Dozens of emails popped up on my screen, and I quickly scanned the headlines, and senders. I had no idea what I was looking for, I just wanted to do SOMETHING. Anything.

An attempt to filter for Tess' emails brought up nothing useful. There was only one email she had ever sent him, and that was about a departmental meeting she forgot the time of. If they communicated, it was probably by phone. Not that it would have helped me too much, anyway. Strictly speaking, office relationships were not against the rules, as long as they don't impact the work environment. I'd have to find something better, if I wanted to get rid of Jay.

Nearly all the mails were work related, but on the second page one of the subjects caught my eye. "Thank you for last night," from a sender named "S., Olivia," sent three days earlier. I opened it, heart pounding.

"Dear Jay, I want to thank you for the great night we had yesterday. I really needed that, and you always know how to make me feel better. Love, Olive."

Hah! I sat up triumphantly, finding exactly the kind of ammo I was looking for. I filtered for the same sender, and found another email.

"I'm considering leaving my husband. I really need to talk to you right away. Olive."

So, he was having an affair with a married woman, and now wanted to start something with Tess on top of it? I printed out the two mails, so I could use them to confront him. I could tell him that he HAD to break up with Tess, or else I'd spill the beans on his homewrecking to her, and tell his girlfriend about Tess.

It was a credible threat, considering I did have Olivia's email address, and could contact her. I probably wouldn't even have to, though. Jay would probably make the smart choice, and just back off. It would be way easier for him. And for me, of course.

I quickly scanned the rest of the mails, but didn't spot anything out of the ordinary. The few non work related mails were stuff like newsletters from the gym, which I also received, and various shopping sites, and spam. He wasn't using his Lifelast email for private communications. As part of the IT department, I considered that commendable, even if it worked against my interests.

Nevertheless, I was happy with what I found, and I couldn't wait to confront him the very next day. After Jay was out of the picture, I could focus my efforts back on Tess. I imagined myself in the copy room, making out with Tess. I wondered how it felt, having her body press up against mine, with my hands on her asscheeks.

I got hard, just thinking about it, and pulled down my pants. For whatever reason, that memory of the locker room flashed back into my mind, just as I gripped my own dick. Had Jay and Tess slept together yet? The thought of her, impaled on his cock, was not something I wanted to think about. What would Tess think, going from that to what I could offer?

I forced those thoughts down, and returned to imagining Tess' naked body, writhing in pleasure under my touch. It didn't work completely, and flashes of Jay's dick kept popping up. When I came, it was a weak orgasm, and feeling the warm cum dribble over my hand left me without satisfaction.

That only reinforced my decision to confront Jay. With him out of the picture, everything would be back to normal.

I spent the rest of the day working from home, mostly dealing with remote troubleshooting. Anything that involved hardware could wait until the next day, which fortunately wasn't much. Just before logging out of the VPN, I made sure to edit the database log file, and remove my queries. Just in case.

************

I arrived at Lifelast early, owing to my excitement about getting rid of Jay. In the parking lot, I double-checked to make sure I had the printout, and decided to sit in the car for a while, rehearsing the script.

"Hey, Jay, I need you to leave Tess alone. If you don't, I'm gonna tell her all about Olivia. Hey, Jay, you need to disappear, or I'm gonna spill the beans on your philandering ways. Hey, Jay, fuck off. Tess is mine now, bitch." I could almost taste the potential tears in his eyes, as he begged me to not reveal anything.

One by one, cars arrived, and my co-workers went into the building. At a quarter to nine, a flashy, red Mazda drove up, and parked in a spot almost behind me. Of course, that would have to be Jay's car. He had to even have a better car than me. I drove a fairly cheap, but reliable, Toyota, more interested in mileage and upkeep than sex appeal.

Clearly visible in the rearview mirror, Jay turned off the ignition, and leaned back in the driver's seat, eyes closed, with an odd expression on his face. I watched him for a few minutes, before all of a sudden, Tess' head popped up next to him. I felt sickened, realizing what they had been doing. She planted a kiss on his lips, and the two of them exited the car, to walk into the building.

I gripped the printout so hard, it almost tore in two. I felt like driving back home already, and going back to bed, so I could wake up, and escape the nightmare.

At nine o'clock exactly, I finally recollected myself enough to enter the building. The printout was stored safely in my jeans pocket, and I found myself occasionally tapping it, just to make sure it was still there. I didn't see either Jay or Tess anywhere, and spent the entire morning playing catchup with all the support tickets I hadn't been able to handle from home. That meant crawling under desks to plug in mice, carrying around broken monitors, and pressing the power button on the computer of someone who kept insisting it was broken, and swore to high heavens he needed a better one right away. It turned on just fine when I got there.

It wasn't until lunch that I had some spare time, and went over to the customer service department where Jay and Tess worked. When Jay had started working at Lifelast a few months earlier, he had been in the same position as her, but what I discovered was that he had been promoted to junior supervisor, and now had his own office. Some people had all the luck in the world.

The door was wide open, and Jay sat behind the desk, pouring over some forms. His jacket was slung over the chair, and the knot of his tie was loosened slightly. I knocked on the doorframe to announce my entry, and stepped into the small room, closing the door behind me.

"Oh hey, it's Henry the IT guy," greeted Jay cheerfully, and I just wanted to smack him in the face.

I pulled out the sheet of paper from my pocket, and unfolded it with trembling hands. The time arrived for me to make my move, but I froze. My pulse quickened, and I took a few deep breaths. Everything I had rehearsed in the car had been erased from my mind.

"Are you ok? What's up?" asked Jay, slightly concerned.

"I know about Olivia," I blurted out.

His expression changed, from concerned to slightly angry. He stood up, and walked over to me. Standing face to face, I had to look up to meet his eyes. He had to be at least six feet tall.

"What are you talking about?" he demanded.

"Tess," I stated, my tongue caught in my throat.

"What about Tess?"

"You need to leave her alone, or I'm gonna tell her about Olivia."

Jay seemed genuinely confused, and I wondered if I had misread something. I was sure I hadn't, and anyway, it was too late to change course now. I had to double down, and get him to back off.

"Explain," he growled, and I got the sense that maybe I actually had hit him in a sore spot.

Triumphantly, I laid out my plan. "I know all about your relationship with Olivia, and how you fucked her behind her husband's back. And now you're going out with Tess, and she's too good for you. She deserves someone better. If you don't leave her alone, I'm gonna tell the whole world about you and Olivia."

"Where did you hear this?" he asked menacingly, and stepped closer. He really towered over me, and I felt the heat radiate from his body. There was even a hint of perfume, and I recognized it as the one Tess liked to wear. That just made me angrier.

"Here," I told him, and held up the piece of paper.

Jay grabbed it out of my hand, and started reading. His expression grew more stern, and I thought I saw a glimmer of fear in his eyes.

"See?" I taunted him. "I know all about you and Olivia. There's no need denying it. So now you can go scram, and leave Tess alone."

"Where did you get this?"

"I work in IT," I answered, cryptically, enjoying my moment of victory.

"You hacked my email?"

"Not really, I just sort of accessed the underlying file structure with a script that—"

Jay cut me off by bursting into laughter. Loud, full bodied, gut trembling laughter. I stood there, confused. Jay almost doubled over, and I looked around in confusion.

"What's so funny?" I finally inquired.

"Oh god, it's everything," he laughed, and wiped a tear from his eye. "Olivia's my... my..." he broke out in a renewed bout of laughter, clapping me repeatedly on the shoulder. "She's my sister," he finally finished.

I did not feel like laughing at all. Cold fear ran down my spine, and I knew had massively fucked up. I wanted to run out of the office, and hide in my cubicle, but Jay's firm grip on my shoulders kept me there.

"Oh fuck," he laughed, "this is great. You know what this means, right?"

"We can forget this happened?" I asked, hopeful.

"No, Henry. This means I own you now." He said it with such seriousness I got scared a little.

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see. I'd explain it to you now, but I was supposed to meet Tess for lunch. That's who you're doing this all for, right? Tess?"

I nodded.

"Well, you can't have her. I'm gonna go meet her for lunch now, and afterwards I will make sweet, sweet love to her. Take care, Henry."

He might as well have shot me with a gun, it didn't hurt any less. With another bout of laughter, he grabbed his jacket off the chair, crumpled up the printout, and walked out of the office. I stood there for several minutes, unable to process what had happened. I had been so sure I had the better of him, only to have the rug pulled out under my feet like that. I wanted to die of embarrassment.

Ten minutes after Jay had left, I mustered up the strength to actually move, and quietly left his office. I had lost all appetite, and couldn't focus on my support tickets. Fear gnawed at my insides, and I dreaded to find out what Jay would do. I could kiss my job at Lifelast goodbye, that was sure. As soon as Jay told them what I had done, I was toast, and nobody else would even dream of hiring an IT manager that abused their power.

At almost exactly two o'clock, I got a call from human resources, calling me in, and my heart sank down into my stomach. I thought about just bolting from the building, jumping in my car, and driving to another planet, but if there was a chance I could keep my job, I would take it. Bryce Taggart, Lifelast's HR honcho, sat in his heavy chair behind his desk when I slunk into his office. I had met the guy before, and he was usually pretty jovial, but at that moment he was very serious. He filled out the chair completely, and the glare of the neon light reflected in his chocolate skin.

"Sit down, Henry," he ordered me, and I took a seat, clammy with cold sweat. "Relax, good lord, you look like you're about to croak."

"Sorry," I muttered.

"I just had a little talk with Jay, and the two of us need to have a word," he began in a serious tone.

"I understand. I'll pack my things. I can be out of here within the hour," I forestalled him.

"What? No, no, don't talk nonsense. We're not going to fire you over this," he said in a comforting tone of voice.

"You're not?" I inquired, hopeful.