Not That Girl, or Am I?

"I'm ready, let's go baby." He said coming out of his bedroom and walking towards the door.

"Thanks for the ride and letting me st- stay here last night." She spoke up as they left the apartment.

"No problem. Thank you for the gift you gave me." He replied as he touched her back, leading her out of the door and felt her flinch but shook it off as just nerves.

Gesyelle sat in the car completely silent and far away from Jarrick as she could get. He noticed her reaction to being near him and thought it was strange, but said nothing. It was sex and she shouldn't be embarrassed. For a virgin she was a great lay and he would love a repeat sometime soon; if she was willing. When they were almost at the door of her apartment building near campus, she practically jumped out of the seat. Before she was completely gone, Jarrick grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. He kissed her sweetly and thanked her again for their night and allowed her to leave the car.

"Thanks for the ride." She replied timidly.

"You're welcome, baby. I'll call you later ok?" He said smiling sweetly as she walked away.

Two Months Later...

Gesyelle was in for the night, yet again, especially after her one night with Jarrick happened. True to his word, he called her that night after he dropped her off; even though she didn't give him her number. Her roommate didn't ask any questions about what happened, but Janna could tell something was wrong with her new friend. The instant Jarrick started calling and she ignored it, that's when she knew something was definitely wrong with her. Janna guessed that when Gesyelle was ready to talk she would come and talk to her. She hoped that would be sooner rather than later, because she really liked her roommate.

Gesyelle was on her way to her Philosophy 101 class, looking over some notes, when she suddenly ran into something hard and tall. When she looked up to apologize, she was standing face to face with Jarrick Hayward Edwards 3rd and the smile rapidly left her mouth. She muttered a quick apology under her breath and walked away as fast as she could. It wasn't fast enough because he stopped her fleeting form without any problem. She was looking around and at him nervously filled with embarrassment. He wanted to talk to her about hanging out with him sometime. She had been blowing him off lately and he wanted to clear the air.

"What's wrong Gesyelle? We had fun together and I was hoping we could hang out again." He blurted out not waiting for her to acknowledge him.

"I--I can't; I have a ton of homework in a couple of classes. Maybe another time, I've gotta go. I'll be late for class." She shut his offer down without giving it some thought and turned to walk away.

"Are you mad about what happened between us? I promise I'll behave if you come over." He asked again much more pleasantly.

"Please, I just want to go to class. Look, call me about eight o'clock. I should be finished studying by then. We'll talk then if you want to okay. I've really gotta go now." She said easing away to head off to her class.

"Sure Gesyelle, later then." He said while watching her sexy body leave his sight.

That night, just like the last few weeks, Gesyelle threw up. She thought it was a bug at first, or the flu, but it wasn't that at all. She hadn't paid attention to her missed period because it was sometimes irregular. She found out she was pregnant on a visit to the Student Health Center. No one knew and she made sure to hide it from her roommate. She stayed in on purpose and didn't go anywhere but to class. She was afraid to tell her parents and most of all Jarrick. Until now, she had successfully avoided him and it was working. She remembered walking into the clinic and asking for the pregnancy test. The look on the Information Nurse's face was horrifying. She wanted to turn tail and run the other way, but she had to find out fast. After she took the test and waited the allotted time, it was the most excruciating hour she'd ever had to wait for something.

The nurse finally called her back into her office and told her the news, she was floored into silence. 'I can't be pregnant.' She thought in her head. She sat in disbelief looking at the nurse and then the tears began to stream down her face. All she could think about was how she had become a disappointment to her family and herself. She'd have to quit school and get a job; and she would have to tell Jarrick about the baby. While the nurse was talking to her about options she brought up abortion. It was something she never gave a thought to before, but now, now she didn't think she had a choice in the matter. Maybe, she did need to talk to Jarrick about their situation.

Later That Night...

*Ring, Ring*

*Ring, Ring*

"Hello, who is it?" She answered on the second ring.

"Hey Gesyelle, its Jarrick. What are you doing?" He asked in response to her question.

"I'm just finishing up with some homework; I'm not feeling too well. I think I'm going to call it an early night. What did you want to talk about?" She asked him as the stirrings of her abdomen started to roil and tremble.

"I thought we could talk about the night we spent together. Did I do something wrong? I haven't heard from you in a couple of months. I'm not that kind of guy; I don't just sleep with a girl and then push her aside. Talk to me Gesyelle." He explained from the other end of the phone with urgency.

"I'm sorry, it's just, I--I, Oh God I'm gonna be sick." She began and dropped the phone to run to the bathroom as she heaved into the commode.

Jarrick was on pins and needles when he called Gesyelle's phone, but when she answered he felt relief. Then, as he listened to her in the bathroom, up-chucking the contents of her stomach, he became worried. What could be wrong with her? He was going to get to the bottom of the situation before the night was over. Gesyelle finally stopped vomiting a few minutes later, to her relief, and cleaned up before returning to talk to Jarrick. She was afraid he would figure out her secret before she could explain.

"Hello, Jarrick?" She asked talking into the receiver with much hesitation.

"Gesyelle are you okay baby? You sounded really sick and it had me worried. Have you been to the Campus Medical Center to get checked out yet?" He quickly supplied as he expressed his concern for her well-being.

"Yes and yes Jarrick. I've actually been wanting to talk to you about something but I've kind of been avoiding it for the moment." She answered and expelled a long breathy sigh.

"What's up? Talk to me baby." He quickly replied and waited for her to answer him.

"I--I'm pregnant." She stammered at first and then blurted out her response before she grew quiet on the other end.

"Huh? You're, you're pregnant? Are you absolutely sure? I mean it could be something else entirely." He questioned her in rapid succession full of disbelief and shock.

"I didn't want to tell you, or -- or anyone for that matter. I'm scared Jarrick." She confided to him in confession over the line.

"I can help you with some money for an abortion, if that's what you want to do. I don't know what else to say at this point. We really need to talk about this soon." Jarrick told her with finality.

"I know. I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear." She cried into the phone to him.

"Yeah well, we'll talk about it soon Gesyelle, don't worry about it." He stated letting out an exasperated breath.

"Thanks for not blaming me for this happening. I'll talk to you later; I need some rest." She acquiesced to him as they ended the conversation.

"Okay baby, I'll call you tomorrow and come pick you up. Good night." He said and promptly hung up the call.

Gesyelle was so anxious about seeing him the next day that she couldn't get much rest that night. She hoped he would stand by her with any decision she made, but did she really want to have an abortion? She could feel it growing inside of her everyday and her body was changing as well. Although she wasn't showing, she was still afraid to tell her roommate what was going on with her. But she would have to talk soon because it was going to be hard to hide before too long. Her hand strayed to her still flat tummy and rubbed it lovingly in circular motions. She decided to get some sleep if she was going to see Jarrick the next day and went to get ready for bed.

Three Days Later...

Gesyelle sat in her Biology 103 class trying to listen to her professor talk about mundane facts. She just wasn't feeling up to it today. Jarrick never showed up or called her as he said he would. Actually, she hadn't seen him at all around campus either. What was she going to do now? There was no way she could afford an abortion or a baby; she was only eighteen years old. She had to do something fast; in another month it would be too late to terminate the pregnancy. The nurse at the Student Clinic told her it would have to be a rather fast decision.

As soon as the professor called an end to the lecture, Gesyelle flew out of the lecture hall, without a second thought. She was eager to get to the Student Clinic to talk to the nurse. Just as she walked out of the door, she saw Jarrick talking to some guys by the stairwell. In all honesty she wanted to give him a piece of her mind, but instead walked right past him not even acknowledging his presence. She hurried down the stairs with the other students but was pulled up fast by a hand grabbing her roughly from behind her. Gesyelle attempted to push the hand off and yell at the person, but was stopped short.

"Gesyelle, stop! Just stop struggling and I'll let you go." He commanded as he walked with her down the remainder of the stairs.

"You said you were going to pick me up so we could talk about, our-our problem. You didn't show or call, why?" She asked through clenched teeth while snatching her hand away from him.

"I had to take care of something. I'm sorry for not calling you to let you know." He spoke angrily and pulled her into an empty room.

"What are you doing Jarrick? Let me go!" She questioned his actions and screamed in the quiet room.

"I had to find the money for you to get the abortion. I found a place that performs the procedure and they've been recommended by a few people I know. I'll take you there myself and stay with you." He supplied the plan as he looked in her eyes.

Gesyelle sat down slowly on a chair in front of a desk. He'd thought about this carefully and she knew that neither of them were ready to be parents. She had to think about this because it was her body. What if she wasn't able to have kids from this in the future? She was unsure of her decision. What would her family think of her if they found out she was considering having an abortion? How could she face her own reflection in the mirror afterwards? Jarrick stood looking down at her and couldn't understand why she didn't just take his suggestion so they could both continue their lives, 'child free' and be young.

"I still have some time; I'll let you know my decision by tomorrow." She finally spoke and rose out of the chair to leave the room.

"Gesyelle, I'm sorry it has to be like this. We're too young to think about kids and parenthood. You'll see it's for the best." He supplied the rationalization for her before she left the room.

"Yeah, sure but it isn't you that has to go through this; it's my body being torn apart." She told him before she walked out the door.

Jarrick wasn't really trying to be so cold; he just didn't want to be called 'daddy' before he was ready. He left her alone for a while to find the money needed to get the abortion taken care of, quietly. Neither he nor Gesyelle were ready for parenthood. What was he suppose to do if this got out to any of his friends that he got a girl pregnant? He would be a joke and ridiculed by them to say the least. They had to get this procedure done so they could go back to normal. Now that he had the money together, he was going to take her to have the abortion as soon as possible.

Gesyelle went through the motions of her day as if she was auto pilot. People spoke to her and she didn't really hear them and kept moving like she was in slow motion. All she could think about was the growing baby inside her stomach. Suddenly, her stomach roiled and she had to find a restroom or she was going to embarrass herself in the crowded hallway. The destination she was looking for was just ahead of her and she scurried inside the door like a lightning bolt and ran into the first empty stall. She didn't care if anyone heard or saw her, she just needed a reprieve.

When she had completely stopped heaving her stomach was drained of everything in it and she was exhausted. Gesyelle stood from her stooped position and walked out of the restroom to rinse her mouth of the after taste. Luckily, she had a travel bottle of mouthwash in her bag and used it to freshen her breathe. As she turned around to exit the restroom, another student was looking directly at her with a look of knowing on her face. She was mortified, because someone knew her secret and she wanted to hide in her shame. She pleaded with the girl with unspoken looks that she keep this secret to herself.

The girl nodded her affirmative answer and turned to leave Gesyelle to confront her own reality, alone. Gesyelle sighed as she leaned on the counter of the sink and saw her reflection in the mirror that told a different story. When she felt she had stood there long enough she left the restroom and tried to finish her long day. That night, Gesyelle decided she would have the abortion. If nothing else it would ease her nerves and give her peace of mind. It was a going to be hard to do, but it had to be done there wasn't any other way. If she did this quickly, she wouldn't have to worry about missing too many classes or have to tell her parents about her stupidity.

The next day, Jarrick came over to talk to her and she was jittery in his presence. She wanted nothing more than to be away from him, but this conversation had to take place now or it never would. Gesyelle led him into the dorm and to her bedroom but only because she didn't want Janna to overhear what they talked about. Once inside the room, she sat on a small corner of her bed and pointed him to sit in her desk chair. He wanted to hug her or hold her, but he could tell that wouldn't be happening. She didn't trust him with her body at the moment. She was looking frail to him and he wished there was something more he could do to help.

"Gesyelle, how are you feeling? I thought you could use something to ease the nausea." He began talking to cut through the silence.

"Thanks, I'm okay right now. But everything makes me sick to my stomach. I can't keep anything down." She replied as he reached into his bag to pull out its contents.

"Don't worry baby, it'll all be over soon enough. Here, take these saltines and ginger ale to calm down the vomiting." He told her as he placed the contents on her desk.

"I won't prolong your stay. I've decided to have the abortion. I can't be pregnant, not right now. I really don't want to be a mother at eighteen." She explained as she told Jarrick her decision.

"Okay then; that's what we'll do," he expelled his breathe, "I can make the call and set everything up for us right away." He was relieved she decided to see things his way, but he could tell she was afraid.

Gesyelle knew this was the right thing to do, but deep down she had the feeling if she went through with it she may never have the chance again. If her parents found out they would probably try to stop her and force her to come home. She couldn't tell them she was pregnant; that was for sure. She was certain that the two of them weren't ready to take on the responsibility of a kid; they were both too young. So, she had no other choice but to have the abortion and get it over with ASAP. She'd just have to live with the decision they both made together.

One Week Later...

Gesyelle and Jarrick sat in the waiting area to be seen by the physician. Gesyelle was on pins and needles; she felt as if she couldn't remain calm about what they were here to do. She was completely agitated, unfocused, irritated, and anxious as could be thinking about what was to happen. They were literally cutting it close to the cutoff period that she could have the abortion. But her doctor assured her that she would be just fine. Jarrick reached over and took her hand in his trying to calm her nerves. When she looked into his face he could see she had unshed tears waiting to fall from her eyes.

"It's going to be fine Gesyelle. I'm here for you and when this is over you can go back to your normal self." He remarked trying to offer her comfort.

"Yeah, sure. I can go back to my normal life." She repeated his words to herself.

"Gesyelle Richards," the nurse at the desk called, "the doctor is ready for you".

She got up and went with the nurse; slowly she turned around and looked at Jarrick one last time. She knew this would be a defining moment for both of their lives; one that would stick with them forever. After an hour and a half, Gesyelle came back out to the front of the office with the nurse. She looked drained, ashen, and completely defeated as Jarrick quickly came up to her and enveloped her in his arms. The nurse gave her some instructions from the doctor and a prescription to fill for any discomfort of pain. Tears of exhaustion and sorrow were forming in her eyes and she just couldn't hold them back any more.

Jarrick didn't know what to do to help her besides being there for her as support. Gesyelle almost fell to the floor of the lobby over what she had just done. Jarrick picked her up and headed out to his car with her as she poured out her heart and soul to him. She clung to him a little longer as he tried to close the car door and he just sat there with her in his arms. She felt horrible about what she had just done to her unborn child and her body. When he was able to untangle himself from her arms he closed the door and went around to the drivers side and climbed inside.

"I'll take you to get these filled and we'll go back to my place so you can rest. Is that alright with you?" He asked her while starring out the front window of the car.

"Yeah, I'm really exhausted. I could use a hot bath too, thanks Jarrick." And with that confirmed she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

To be continued...

Another submission will be coming soon, please be patient. I hope you enjoyed the beginning of Gesyelle and Jarrick's journey. Please leave a comment and vote. Thanks Syn'