Nothing to Offer

He didn't know how she knew, but Brian loved the look of a hairless pussy. All through dinner, she was animated, giggling happily, humming to herself, but refused to tell him what was going on. Then, as usual, she turned on the television while he did the dishes.

When he left the kitchen and entered the living room, he saw that she'd taken her pants off and was sitting on the couch, feet on the cushions, exposing her newly waxed pussy to him. Even more erotic to him, her hair was up in two pony-tails.

Tonight, just as soon as he entered the house, Britney was demanding to know where they were going; it was her birthday after all; it was completely unreasonable and unfair that she'd had to wait all day; her birthday was all day long, not just after five pm.

"And Kathy's coming with us," Brian said.

"What? You have any idea how long she takes to get ready?" Britney screamed and stomped off.

"Oh good God, I'm ready, I'm ready; you sure you're twenty and not two?" Kathy said as she entered the house.

Britney was thrilled when they pulled up to Side By Side and kissed Brian happily.

"Oh, Brian, are you sure?" Kathy asked. "This place is so expensive!"

"Shut up, Mom," Britney ordered.

"You're not too old for a spanking, you hear?" Kathy warned.

The flavor of the meat was excellent and Brian did agree that it was well worth the money.

"And now, for the presents," Brian said as their waitress cleared away the remnants of the birthday cake.

Britney laughed when Brian handed her a gift wrapped putter.

"Well aren't you going to unwrap it?" Kathy asked.

"Mom, I think I know what it is," Britney laughed.

"Go ahead, unwrap it," Brian urged.

"Hey now, is that a carbon fiber shaft?" a man at a nearby table asked.

"Yeah, they any good?" Brian asked.

"I actually prefer them over my graphite ones," the man said.

"What's this, oh my God! Yes! The answer is yes!" Britney screamed when she saw the diamond ring Brian had taped to the handle.

"Going to Hardington Acres; would love it you and your fiancé would join me; got a seven fifteen tee time," the man said, handing Brian a business card after he scribbled his cell number on the back.

"Britney, don't you dare," Brian warned as Britney dug out one of the balls Brian had bought for her and prepared to praxis, right there in the restaurant.

While Brian and Britney were saying good night to their new friends at the nearby table, Barbara Peters was standing in line at the Super One Foods and hoping that Glen had paid the Master Card bill; she'd forgotten to check.

"Hi, find everything okay?" the cashier pleasantly asked.

Barbara did not respond, just quietly put her food on the conveyer belt and tensed up for the rejection.

"And here you go; have a great night," the girl smiled as she put everything into the buggy.

Barbara did not respond, just waddled out to her car. She sighed with relief when she finally got all the groceries put into the trunk.

"I really shouldn't have to live like this," Barbara said and allowed herself a few tears of self-pity.

Backing out, she saw the lighted sign for Professional Dry-Cleaning.

Barbara remembered her mother saying something about Brian opening another location.

"Well, I guess you're having a real good laugh right now, aren't you?" she thought bitterly to herself.

It never occurred to Barbara Peters that Brian Harris did not follow her daily exploits, did not just sit at home and pine away for her. She honestly would have been surprised to find out that Brian Harris did not spend every waking moment thinking of Barbara , and every sleeping moment dreaming of her.

Barbara drove home and parked in front of her house; the technician had graciously propped up the garage door but it would not go up.

While Barbara was negotiating how to get Josette and groceries into the house quickly, Glen was glumly sitting in his cell at the DeGarde Police Department.

"Suppose I have another heart attack?" he snarled at Ritchie Himmer.

"Bubba there knows CPR," Ritchie said, nodding to an extremely obese prisoner. "Don't you, Bubba?"

"Uh huh," the man smiled good-naturedly.

Glen stood for a few minutes after Ritchie left, not sure what to do.

"Might as well lie down, get some rest," Bubba finally spoke. "Arraignment's in the morning and it's just a bunch of get up, go there, wait, get up, go over here, and sit there."

"Thanks," Glen said flatly.

He lay on the top bunk and tried to imagine what his arraignment would be like.

He knew he should feel remorse, sympathy; he was being charged with vehicular homicide, among other things. A grandmother had died. But all Glen could think was that he was being treated unfairly. He'd had a heart attack; he should be in the hospital, in a nice, comfortable bed, instead of on this hard, lumpy cot.

"Uh, hey, where's my pillow?" Glen asked.

"You bring one?" Bubba asked.

"No," Glen said.

Sheriff Bob Chastaine did a visual check and brought Glen both pillow and blanket, smiling as Bubba made himself comfortable with the two pillows he was using.

"Bubba, I do wish you'd behave," Bob said. "I got a feeling you and I would get along just fine if you did."

"And I wish you'd quit arresting me all the time," Bubba admitted.

**..**

Britney had no idea if they were any good at golf but she knew she loved the game.

Knowing his girlfriend, now fiancé as he did, Brian knew he'd never get away with just renting her a set of golf clubs. Super Sporting Goods helped the couple fill two golf bags and Brian also bought a golf ball stamp, putting 'Britney Harris' on a set of balls for her.

Johnny Flowers, their new friend seemed to be a loud, gregarious, and warm man. He delighted in Britney's enthusiasm. Loretta, his companion did show Britney how to grip the shaft and how to swing, then stepped back.

"No, no, Sweetheart, the LOWER the score, the better," Brian said. "This is not like bowling."

"Y'all bowl too?" Johnny asked.

"We even have our own balls," Britney affirmed.

"And if we break a hundred, we're ecstatic," Brian admitted.

"See?" Loretta slapped Johnny. "I'm not the worst bowler in the world."

"Nope; we pretty much take the prize on that," Brian agreed.

After nearly four hours of playing, Johnny invited them to lunch in the main dining room.

"Honey, for it being your first time, a hundred and twelve is just fine," he assured Britney. "But you got a good natural swing; you'll get better."

"So what's good here?" Britney asked Loretta.

"I usually just get the salad," Loretta said.

"No, I meant, real food," Britney said.

"That's my girl!" Johnny laughed. "Rabbit food is not real food, is it Honey?"

Across the room, Joanna, Barney, and Barbara sat. Barney had a soured look on his face, Barbara felt like a bug about to be smashed and Joanna was blissfully sipping the coffee.

"I swear, Daddy, I don't have a clue what Glen did, he didn't even tell me he borrowed twenty thousand, why'd he need..." Barbara was saying.

"Is that... That can't be, when did Brian Harris become a member of Hardington Acres?" Joanna suddenly said.

On the other side of the room, Loretta was asking Britney how she and Brian knew each other.

"He and Miss Barbara used to live in the house right across the street and he and my dad were good friends," Britney said, in between bites of her shrimp salad sandwich.

She reached over and gripped Brian's hand affectionately.

"And every now and then, my mom and dad needed him and Miss Barbara to watch me. Miss Barbara always acted like she was doing this real big gigantic favor, but Brian always acted like he really wanted to watch me, to be with me," Britney went on.

She smiled at him. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Anyway, next to my dad, Brian was the love of my life and the minute I heard Miss Barbara let him, I told my mom, 'I'm going to marry him' and here we are," Britney concluded her tale.

"You lucky son of a gun; I never got to baby-sit anyone as beautiful as her," Johnny said.

Brian smiled as he ate his French Dip sandwich.

He looked around the dining area. Barney and Joanne had belonged to this country club, and had often taken Barbara with them to eat here. They only invited Barbara when they knew Brian would be too busy to break away and join them. Then Barbara would come home with talk about this meal and that dessert, but never seemed to bring anything back for him.

The dining area was half full; as he looked around, he did not see Barney, Joanna, or Barbara. He did see a cute little girl sitting on a booster seat, happily playing with crayons.

"Is he with, oh this is unbelievable; he's sitting with Johnny Flowers!" Barney complained bitterly. "We've been trying to get his business now for almost three years!"

"Why don't you go over there and..." Joanna said easily and smiled as Josette sloppily, but happily scribbled on the picture of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Brian turned his attention back as Britney started talking about their upcoming wedding.

"Now wait a minute," Johnny laughed. "I was there! I was right there when y'all got engaged! That wasn't even twenty four hours ago and you're already planning..."

"Honey, women plan this stuff before we're even out of diapers," Loretta smiled.

"And I want to do it, right in our front yard. Larry, he's ; the minister of Atonement Lutheran said he'll be happy to do it," Britney said.

"What? Wait a minute," Brian laughed. "I'm with Johnny! I was right there; when did you have time to..."

Britney showed him her phone, which displayed a text message from Kathy.

"So, do I need to get a tux or is my blue suit good enough?" Brian asked.

"See, Honey, that's the kind of questions you should ask, not how much is this going to cost me," Loretta said.

"I didn't know we were Lutheran," Brian said.

"We're not; Benny got to be friends with Mom and Dad when Dad went in to Lafayette General that one time," Britney said.

Barney glared with open hostility at Brian Harris; if his granddaughter had not been there, he would have informed Barbara and Joanna just what he thought of the man. His stomach churned as he watched Johnny Flowers put an affectionate arm over Brian's shoulder and laugh at something the lowly dry cleaner said.

"Oh for goodness sakes just go over and say 'hi' to them," Joanna said.

"I would rather..." Barney said then stifled himself, looking at Josette.

"Then I suppose his business just isn't that important to you," Joanna shrugged then looked at what Josette was doing. "Green? Green! Now, why'd you color her hair green?"

Barbara had no idea who the tall man was, but did notice that Brian did look good as he sauntered through the dining area.

While Barbara was wondering how she could manipulate, whine, wheedle, or even beg her way back into Brian's good graces/bank account, Glen was glumly chewing a bologna and American cheese sandwich. The slightly stale sandwich had come with a packet of mustard and a packet of mayonnaise and he'd emptied both packets onto the white bread, trying to cover up the taste of the processed meat.

"Better hope you don't wind up in Mumphrey," Bubba said. "Food there's the worst fucking shit in the state. "Lafayette ain't bad; they give you less than two years? That's where you'll probably go. Or, if you can prove you nuts? Paulton. They got pretty good food there too."

Glen did not answer but right now, he did feel like he was going nuts. The need for drugs was overwhelming; his anger with his wife and her parents was building. Surely they had to know where he was and that he was being arraigned today. Surely they knew he would need someone, anyone but the Public Defender representing him. The girl did not even look like she'd graduated from high school yet. When she smiled, she still had braces on her teeth.

"Know where I can get some fucking coke? Or meth?" Glen spat after choking down a bite of the sandwich.

"Yeah, that guy right there; he's the guy gets you whatever you need," Bubba said sarcastically, pointing to the bailiff. "Fuck, Peters, look around; where the fuck are we, huh?"

So when Glen met with Ms. Dumas, his PDA again, he asked her the same thing, where could he get some coke or meth or anything.

"Columbia, or Peru, I would guess," the young, previously bubbly and enthusiastic, but now quite serious and businesslike woman said. "Mr. Peters, are you completely unaware of where you are? What you're dealing with?"

"Are you completely unaware I simply do not give a fuck?" Glen snapped. "Fuck! All I'm asking for is..."

"A woman is dead, Mr. Peters," the young woman said. "Does that mean nothing to you?"

While Glen was dealing with withdrawal symptoms, and trying to will his disgusting lunch to stay down, Britney was reminding Brian of how much fun they had golfing and when did he think they could do it again?

"So, for a honeymoon, what you think of going to Hilton Head? There's like a hundred golf courses all over the place there," Brian suggested.

"And that is why I love you," Britney said, resting her head against him. "And we can drive our new Ferrari there."

"We are not, I repeat not getting a Ferrari," Brian laughed.

"Not even for a wedding present?" Britney asked.

"Britney, no, not even for a wedding present, Sweetheart," Brian smiled.

At a red light, he kissed her, then rested his hand on her plump thigh.

"No sir," Britney said, but did not push his hand away.

"No sir what?" Brian asked.

'No Ferrari, no pussy," Britney said.

"Oh. Damned shame. Kind of liked that pussy too," Brian said and worked his hand under the leg of her baggy shorts.

"Apparently not that much," she said. "Won't even buy me a Ferrari."

"Honey, now why do you want a Ferrari?" he asked.

"Have you seen how pretty they are?" she asked.

"Uh huh," he said and backed into their garage.

The golf bags were taken out of the trunk and Brian gave Britney one more kiss before driving out to Store Number Three.

"And here's Dwight Woods," Sally teased as Brian came in.

"Dwight Woods?" Brian smiled.

"The White Tiger Woods," she clarified.

"Bad enough I get it at home," Brian complained and signed onto the computer.

A quick check showed that Shelton was using the store computer to look for another job; Brian had anticipated that. Shelton wanted another raise, not even three months after his last raise and Brian was adamantly refusing.

Store Number One was streaming music, an odd sounding band, Gravity Burns was playing. Store Number Four was ringing up a sale and Brian nodded in satisfaction.

"See you," Sally called out. "Jenny'll be in about four, okay?"

Brian did log onto his favorite site, did briefly look at the latest exploits of is favorite double pony-tailed slut and his favorite seemingly clueless Asian whore, but lost interest very quickly.

He then pulled out his cell phone and sent Britney a text message.

Her response was immediate; she wasn't talking to him.

When he asked her why she wasn't talking to him, her response was that he was mean and selfish and didn't love her.

Brian did not respond until she sent him a second and then third response.

He pointed out, for someone who was not talking to him, she sure was doing a lot of talking.

"When your fiancé isn't talking to you, you better take it serious," Britney said when she came into the store twenty minutes later.

"Oh? I thought I was," Brian smiled and kissed her.

"And when she says your mean and don't love her, you should ask why," she went on, squeezing him in a tight hug.

"Oh, well I figured she must know what she's talking about," Brian replied.

One of the dancers from the Dead End Bar came in with a few outfits and Brian couldn't help but wrinkle his nose at the stench of cigarette smoke and sweat on the clothing.

While Brian was printing out the ticket for the items, Glen Peters was trying not to smell Bubba as they sat and waited to be returned to DeGarde Lock-up.

Bubba had been right; it was hurry up and wait all day long, a lot of shuffling back and forth, just to finally be told that his bail was set at two hundred thousand dollars.

Twelve percent of two hundred thousand was twenty four thousand dollars.

It was money he didn't have, his business didn't have. But his fat ass wife could get it from her tight ass father.

Bubba's wife had been in the courtroom, had been there since nine am. She was a large, harsh faced woman. But they had looked at each other across the benches, silently communicating their love and commitment to each other.

Another young man had his mother and father and sister there, all looking worried.

And he had no one but the Public Defender.

"Bubba, this is the last time, you hear?" Bubba's wife yelled out as they lined up to get back into the van that would transport them back to Lock-up.

"I hear you, woman," Bubba yelled back.

They both knew it wouldn't be the last time.

While Glen was wondering how he would get his father in law to post bail, Barney was sullenly writing out checks for his daughter's utility bill, charge cards, and repairs to the hideous monstrosity of a home his daughter and granddaughter lived in.

"I thought the whole idea of you getting married was that someone else would do all of this," Barney complained, sliding the last check to his daughter.

"And what the hell do you think that God damned pain in the ass son of a bitch Brian Harris was doing at Hardington Acres today?" he spat. "I swear, if they let that low-life son of a bitch become a member, I will let them know my resignation from the board will be immediate."

Joanna bit her tongue; that threat had not swayed Hardington Acres Country Club's board in the past

She also bit her tongue about Glen Peters; she had been just as guilty of encouraging Glen to have an interest in their daughter, and encouraging Barbara to rope the handsome, successful Glen Peters.

**..**

They attended a few services at Atonement Lutheran Church in Kimble. Brian did let Larry Elgin know up front that he was Catholic, albeit a not very good Catholic, but a Catholic nonetheless. They would sporadically attend, and Brian had no qualms about donating two fifty a month; he already donated that to St. Thomas Aquinas in Bender, Louisiana.

"Oh I do hope the decimal points on the right side of that number," Larry smiled.

Looking around the stark white, clean looking building, Brian asked Britney if she'd rather just get married in the facility. She shook her head no and leaned against him.

Once home again, after yelling to Kathy that they were coming over for lunch, Britney took Brian's hand and pulled him into their front yard.

"See? Right here," Britney pointed to a corner post. "You and I put that in. I didn't have to be quiet because Daddy was resting. I didn't have to do it perfect; you were right there to help. I didn't have to not get dirty because Miss Barbara said I needed a bath anyway. I put that post in and you showed me how to make concrete."

She pulled him to the arch over the walkway.

"And right here. I can show you what nails you let me put in. I smacked the shit out of my hand and you told me you did that all the time," Britney went on, pointing to one nail that was bent over. "I didn't have to be a girl and girls don't do that. I didn't have to do it perfect and you told me I did it perfect anyway."

She looked up at the top portion of the walkway.

"And you got a ladder and let me paint the top part of the walkway. You gave me one of your old shirts and let me get paint all over me," Britney said. "You didn't stand there screaming I was going to fall, I was going to hurt myself, and I need to be careful."

She pulled Brian's head down and kissed him.