Now Put Your Nurses Uniform On...

I guess when you start a diary; you should always start at the beginning. It is not my intention that anyone ever reads my diary, but I guess I have had some rotten luck as the years have gone by.

My real Mum died; well that's what I tell myself, but to be honest, I don't even think of her as my real Mum. My step Mum was called Ruth. She was not my biological Mum, but if they hadn't told me that I was adopted at the age of 9 months, I would never have known. So as far as I am concerned, my Mum, Ruth, was a Doctor. She was married to my dad, Gerard, and he was also a Doctor.

Ruth and Gerard ran the local doctor's surgery. I loved them both very much, and I don't know how they did it, but one of them was always around to be there for me when I needed them. When I was 15, they sat me down and told me that I was adopted - I can't tell you what that did to me. I loved them so much, and felt at the time that by telling me the most horrifying news - that they adopted me when I was a baby - it made me want to kill myself.

I remember the moment Mum actually said "Bradley...you know how much we love you, but we are not your real parents! You were adopted when you were 9 months old!"

I remember those words, and I remember screaming out loud and starting to bang my fists on Dad's chest. He was such a lovely man - so kind, so handsome. We were all so happy, and now Mum was telling me that we were not blood related. I ran to my room - everything I could find was picked up and thrown around my room. The anger inside me was so ferocious, and I was so angry. I could hear Mum outside my room pleading with me to 'open the door and let her in'.

I couldn't believe that the very two people in my life that were always there for me, were now the very people I didn't want near me! I loved them so much, but they couldn't help me this time! It was the biggest thing to happen in my life, and they were to blame for me being so angry. I don't honestly know when I left my room, but I don't think it was until the following evening.

I walked downstairs; Mum was in the kitchen and Dad was reading a book. He looked up "Bradley, you needed to know...we had to tell you! We didn't want you to find out without us being here for you to talk it through!"

As I looked at Dad, I saw for the first time ever that he was crying. The tears in his eyes were running down his face like a leaking tap. Mum appeared by my side and gripped my hand.

"Bradley, we couldn't have children...there was something wrong with me! We so wanted a baby, and when the chance of you came up, we decided to take it! We promised that we would love you like our own!" she burst into tears and fell on to her knees. Mum was sobbing. Dad slid off the sofa and held Mum in his arms - they were shaking as the tears of sadness filled the room.

I stood looking at the two people that were my 'everything' falling apart in front of me. I fell to my knees, held both of them close together, and told them 'It was OK...that we were family and that's what family do! They deal with problems and move on!'

We probably all cried on the floor for over ten minutes. The silence that came was eerie, but it was like a signal that someone had to speak. Mum's voice was croaky and she moved away from Dad and I.

"OK...we never speak about this again, ever, never, ever! Do you both agree?"

It was really weird; Dad and I both in unison said "Yes...never!"

We all stood up, smiled at each other, and had a great big group hug. Dad joked that he 'was getting crushed'. I held them like we were on the edge of a cliff. Mum burst out laughing and I announced I was hungry.

If I'm honest, I don't remember any of us ever talking about it again - it was like it had been deleted and simply didn't happen!

My exam results the following year were disappointing - I really wanted to be a Doctor like Mum and Dad, but my brain just didn't seem to be clever enough! We spoke about my options and what I wanted to do. As always, Mum and Dad were rational about the agony I was suffering. I really wanted to work in the medical profession - I wanted to help people like Mum and Dad had done all their lives. Dad said that 'if my results were not as we expected, it was not a problem...I should sign on to the 6th form and take my exams again'. Good old Dad; 'Mr. Rational' at his best. So that was what I did! I stayed on at school and joined the 6th form. It was great - no uniform, lots of girls! I was doing well in my classes and really enjoying myself.

I will always remember 27th May 1997. I came home early from school, and Dad was out by the car putting a suitcase in the boot.

"Bradley, I need to drive Mum up to Aunt Sheila's...Uncle Tom has had a heart attack! Mum is going up to help your Auntie!" he held my arm. "Be nice to Mum...she's a bit upset!"

I walked into the kitchen; Mum was being Mum - preparing food.

"Has Dad told you Uncle Tom's not good, Bradley? I need to see if I can do anything to help! Dad will drop me off with Aunt Sheila...you boys will have to fend for yourselves, or live in the chip shop!"

I smiled at Mum as she put a large lasagne on the dining room table. "Can you call Dad, Bradley? Let's eat now and I can go after dinner...Dad's worried about the traffic!"

It was obvious she was upset, but as usual, she was trying not to show she was worried about her sister. We eat Mum's lasagne and Dad suggested he 'start the journey as soon as possible because he had to drive to Watford and get back'. He was waiting on cover for Mum in the surgery because she was going to be away for a week. Mum didn't stop talking, telling me about the food in the freezer and how to cook it. Dad looked at me, raised his eyes and smiled; he virtually pushed her in to the red Renault car that hardly ever left our drive. He walked over to me, kissed me on my forehead, and told me he loved me, then they drove off - tooting the horn as they left.

When the artic truck hit the small red Renault car and squashed it under its front cab, everyone from the emergency services that attended the scene knew that no one could survive such an impact. The front of the car no longer existed - it was virtually wafer thin where the artic had simply gorged up the contents of the car, leaving no chance for anyone inside to survive.

Over 1000 people attended the funeral of my parents; I don't really remember the day because of the distress of not having Mum and Dad with me. It was agony knowing that they would never be sitting in the lounge, laughing and joking with each other. Why, if there is a God, does he take such amazing people like that to heaven so early? They were so loved and so kind to so many people in their lives - life was really shit! My relatives gathered around me, and so did the town. The people in the town were such amazing people; they were so generous to me after the funeral. My relatives were OK. Mum's brother wanted to know if there was a will. I didn't know of one, but there was a will that covered everything - if Mum died first or Dad - but because they were so organised, they even had a will covering if they both died. I was 17 in two weeks, and the family were all offering to take me in and look after me, but I knew what Mum and Dad would want me to do. I spent several days with the family solicitor, who arrived the day after they died; he just turned up and told me who he was. It was agreed that what Mum and Dad had in place was perfect to start with - I never knew they had so much money in the bank - obviously two good jobs as GP's and two old wise heads together had planned a healthy and wealthy retirement for themselves.

Mum and Dad had never told me anything about what would happen if anything happened to them. I like anyone at that age just thought that it would be years before they died. When everything was decided, I announced to both sides of the family that I needed some time to deal with the loss of Mum and Dad. Basically, I told them all to go home and get on with their lives. I could see the various members of the family that Dad always hated, itching to ask if there was any money left behind?

But thankfully, nobody actually asked the question on the day. It took a further three days for everyone to finally stop coming to the house. I was so glad that everyone had gone - I was finally free to mourn Mum and Dad.

I sat in the lounge - it was so quiet without them. I looked round and saw a large black and white family photo. I was probably about 7 - Dad had his arms on my shoulders, and Mum was cuddling Dad. We all loved the picture, and it sat in the lounge on the mantel piece since it was put in a frame. I stared at all of us - we were so happy in that photo! I missed them so much - the tears were like an ocean falling over a cliff - I cried nonstop for a week. A few neighbours appeared through that painful time - never staying - just leaving hot food for me to eat - asking politely if I was ok? They knew I wasn't! They must have heard me screaming at the agony of losing the most amazing people that anybody could ever know. When the sore throat stopped being sore, and my puffy eyes could puff up no more because of the tears, I knew it was time to do what Mum and Dad would want me to do - it was time to be rational.

I took a shower and shaved, looked at my watch - it was six days to my birthday. I sat in the lounge wearing jeans and a white t-shirt - I think I was staring at the picture of everyone smiling when I heard the doorbell.

I got up and walked to the door - it was 11am in the morning. I opened the door and saw a pretty girl standing there. She had short black curly hair, amazing dark eyes, with deep red lipstick. She was wearing a light brown, camel-coloured coat buttoned up to the neck.

"Hi! You must be Bradley! Can I come in? I have a message for you! It's really important you hear what I have to tell you!"

I thought at that very moment that she was an angel sent from heaven! I opened the door a bit further and she walked in. She was about 25 - and stunning! She smiled as she walked past me; she had perfume on and smelt amazing.

"Bradley, we have a lot to do, but I need you to stay calm...I do not want you to ask any questions until I tell you to. Is that ok?"

I nodded.

"My name is Stacy. I met your father last year...he came to our company and hired us to help you. He was the most amazing man I have ever met, but I think you already know that, don't you, Bradley? I am here because your Mother and Father died...my company can't change that! Your parents did some things to ensure that you will never have any financial problems in your life! Do you understand what I am saying, Bradley? Now, I think we need to have a coffee and I will explain what is going to happen!"

I stood up and looked at Stacy - her coat was still done up, she had really long legs and shiny black stocking's on, with black 4-inch-high heels. "Do you want to take your coat off, Stacy?"

"No Bradley, not yet...not till we deal with all of this! Now where is your video? I have something you need to see!"

It's really important you hear what I have to tell you!"

I took Stacy into the lounge. Mum and Dad had bought a video - it wasn't cheap, but we had lots of fun sitting around the TV watching big screen movies as a family. Because of the hours Mum and Dad worked, it was perfect because it allowed us to watch them when we wanted. Stacy got a video out of a bag she was carrying.

"Can I put this on, Bradley?"

I nodded and took a seat on the sofa. Stacy stood by the TV.

"OK, Bradley...what you are about to hear and see will upset you, but it is important that you understand now before we start that you need to know why I am here, and why your Mum and Dad were so brave!"

"Brave? What do you mean, Stacy? I don't understand!"

Stacy looked down at her feet, "Bradley, this is going to be a lot of information for you, and I'm truly sorry that you will find out like this, but you have to understand...certain things have been done to protect you for a long time, but now the game appears to have changed!"

This was too much for me! Losing Mum and Dad, then this lady tells me how brave they were? Stacy could clearly see how anxious I was, she walked over and put her hand on my arm.

"I will help you! Don't worry, Bradley...you are going to find out everything within the next 30 minutes! It will explain why things have been like they have!"

She sat next to me and pressed the play button on the remote. It really threw me - Mum and Dad were on the screen smiling. I started to cry. Stacy put her arm around me. "You need to be strong and listen to what they say, Bradley!"

"Hello Darling...this is really hard doing this video! We hoped you would never have to play it, but it's important to Dad and I that you understand what has happened and why. You are only seeing this video because Dad and I have died in suspicious circumstances! We had to tell you recently that we were not your biological parents. What we couldn't tell you was why. You know that Dad and I met in university...what you don't know is we were both recruited by the government to work in MI6 intelligence! It was always obvious that when I became a Doctor, I wanted to travel...and so did Dad! It's probably why we loved each other so much! We did Uni, then Medical school, then a year in a local hospital working in emergency casualty... That was when we were approached by MI6 and told we were going to work for the Red Cross as Doctors! By then we were married...we were thinking about having a family, but we were both young and both had promising new careers, so everything was put on hold to start the new job! It was the early seventies...we were young and full of adventure! We started our new jobs in 1973 with the Red Cross, but secretly working for MI6!"

Stacy looked directly at me, "Keep watching, Bradley...I will be back in a minute!"

Stacy got up and disappeared outside to her car which was parked on our drive which was where we always parked the family car. She came back in with a makeup bag and a plastic bag, then walked upstairs. "Keep watching the video, Bradley!" she shouted out as she disappeared from view. I could hear some bangs upstairs as Mum continued to talk on the video.

Dad then started to talk to the screen, "We really wanted to do this, Bradley! Whatever you might think...no one made us do it! We did it because we thought it was important! We thought it would make a difference!"

A picture came up on the TV screen of people walking down a busy street - goats, cars and people were all intermixed within the picture.

"This is where we worked in 1973. To this day, I will never forget this place...it meant the world to us, like the many friends we made when we were living there! We met so many brave and beautiful people! This was the city of Saigon, in Vietnam. On April 30, 1975, the evacuation that was unfolding as North Vietnamese forces... the South's enemy, and America's...closed in on Saigon. It was obvious that a lot of people were going to be caught up in this final fight. We were at the base camp in Saigon...crowds of Americans and other foreigners were lined up in installations around Saigon waiting for buses to take them out...to get them home. We were closing down the operation and feeding back information directly to the British Embassy about what we were hearing might happen. Basically, it was not good! We knew so many of these people...when the buses would arrive for the Americans, you could see them pushing towards the bus and trying to get their Vietnamese wives and children along with them! There were desperate scenes of families separated, and crying out for help, pleading not to be left behind...clutching at the last straw of hope! Two other aid workers who we knew really well had been stuck in the jungle delivering aid and medical supplies to a village...nobody knew what was happening to the group! The convoy they were in was ambushed and attacked! All we knew was no one survived! When we got the news via the British Embassy, I remember crying in Mum's arms! This crazy place was destroying such innocent lives! Bradley, the two aid workers were your parents...Jerry Owen and Penny Irvine. They were not married, but Penny got pregnant in Vietnam working alongside Jerry. She refused to leave him and her work. Mum was there and helped at the birth when you came out into this wicked world...she was the first person to hold you! We were in Saigon picking up supplies, and Jenny went into labour...you were 7 pounds and 6 ounces. You were also four weeks early!" Dad started to cry.

Mum squeezed Dad's arm. She started to talk, "We knew we had to go! We knew the fight was over! We went to the tent where you were being looked after by the local nurses...grabbed you and a few things. Three Americans and one Italian aid worker agreed that we had to go! We all got into a local Red Cross van and drove to Ton Son Nhut airport. Armed paratroopers turned all the buses back, including ours despite our pleas. We drove down to the Saigon waterfront where American helicopters circled the city, as Vietnamese people swam in the water below, trying to reach the various departing vessels. No one wanted to be left in this place! At the time it was strangely quiet, but that always was because everyone was on the verge of sheer panic! We decided to try and reach the United States Embassy because the British Embassy had closed! Once we got there, we found it surrounded by Vietnamese people looking for a way in, and a way out of the crazy mayhem! As we looked up at the embassy, helicopters could be seen landing on the roof, and inside the compound. We tried to make our way toward the back of the consulate, only to find an even more desperate situation. We had to push and shove our way through a crowd of several hundred Vietnamese trying to scale the walls, only to be knocked back by U.S. Marines. I screamed that we 'were British and American Red Cross aid workers' and the Marines let us in. I was crying, with you in my arms, as the Marine moved towards me. I told him 'we were intelligence officers of the United Kingdom'."

"Once inside the compound...for the Americans and those Vietnamese who managed to get in with legal documents, and the many who managed entrance without...the rest was easy. It was just a matter of waiting your turn for a helicopter to take you to one of the ships on station off the Vietnamese coast...and it was on those ships where some of the most dramatic images of that day emerged! South Vietnamese pilots loaded their helicopters with their family and friends, hovering above the vessel's deck to unload the passengers...they were very brave young men saving many people. After so many long years, the American involvement in Vietnam was over! We returned back to the UK with you by our side...in memory of your brave parents, Penny and Jerry. You were taken away from us, and that broke our hearts. Then 5 months later, we were told that Penny and Jerry's family didn't want the memory of them in you! A social worker asked us if we would adopt you...she only had to ask once! That is how we got you! We did try for a brother or sister for you, but I found out I was infertile! It didn't matter...we had you! We were complete as a family!"

It was clear on the video - both Mum and Dad were crying. Mum walked over to the camera filming her and said 'how much they both loved me'. I had taken in so much as well, seeing them talking to me broke my heart - I was crying again. I really didn't think I had the tears left in me to cry anymore.

Dad's voice shocked me in the silence of the moment...

"Bradley, we have met a young lady called Stacy...she works for MI6. She is there to look after you! Do whatever she tells you, Bradley...do not question her! She will look after you! You're only watching this video because we are dead and you are in danger!"