...Of the Life of D

For readers that are not familiar with the story, this is a brief explanation of the stories that I have been working on for the past few months. Please, fell free to read the stories: Long Road, Highsider, and Traject all located in the Loving Wives category. To say that it is not your everyday "loving wives" story would be the understatement of the century. Even if that particular category is not your normal fetish, I would appreciate non-loving wives readers reading and commenting on the story.

After reading the comments following the conclusion of the Traject, I decided that this would be the best time to better explain the background of the character and hopefully help some of the readers understand what I'm trying to do with the final product. There is still going to be more stories about this particular character, there's still more to be said about everything that has taken him to this place. I know that the story can be a bit depressing at times where it seems like that the character can never win, but it's about the little things that keep the character going that I want you to place special focus on.

At the end of the day this is the story of a character that gives constantly shit on, but yet by some force of nature he continues on with his life. This would be a completely different story if the character at any point decided to simply end it all, but that would take away from what makes this character great. It would be easy for him to just end his life, but it's about the understanding of what prevents him from doing so that I want you to keep in mind. We all have read stories, and seen movies about the hero that somehow manages to pull through all the evils and win at the end of the day. Usually these characters represent the moral fiber of society; each of those Heroes is endowed with outstanding characteristics that make them superior to their fellow man. This is not the case with this character.

I understand that I have a very unique style of writing, and I'm hoping that this open letter will help explain that to some of the readers here. Let me start off by saying that I can understand your frustration at the pace that I set with my stories, but it's a pace that has to be set so that you as the reader can read the story as I want you to. In order to better understand the message that I'm trying to convey to you through these stories, the easiest way for me to manage that is to provide you as the reader with the pace.

For those that read the very first chapter in The Long Road, you might remember that that very first chapter, that very first installment of that story was written extremely chaotic with bits and pieces of information and absolutely no names, and no way to relate those characters to you as a reader. However, it was that chaotic pace that would allow you an insight into the mind of the main character that up until that point had no name. It wouldn't be until the later installments of long road that you, as the readers, were introduced to names and characters within that story.

Up to the point of the story all that you knew was that the character was extremely fragmented, extremely broken, and had quite a little bit of psychological trauma behind him. You had no idea where it came from, all you knew it was that it existed. You also got to see the very fragmented relationship between the main character and his family, namely his mother and his absolute lack of respect to her as an authority figure in his life. Again, this was done completely on purpose to give a better understanding of the character and how little connection he has to the person that was supposed to be one of the most important people in his life as a child. The mother figure in that beginning part of the story was a highly manipulative, highly egotistical, and extremely controlling mother figure whose only goal in life was to be in absolute control of her children's lives in every aspect.

Long Road introduced the character to the reader in a very unfamiliar setting to him: this was a very, very young man who still had some belief in true love and in all those fairy tales about life. This was a young man who have signed up and joined the military, and left everything that he knew about family life and growing up and went into a completely different theater. The only things that this character had to hang onto at this particular moment in life were a girl back home that he left behind. As those familiar with that story know all too well, that all came crashing down when the girlfriend decided to cheat on him.

I know there was quite a bit of backlash regarding the turn that the main character took at that particular moment in his life. He went from being this borderline honorable man and turned into little more than a male slut. Again you have to remember that this was still a very young man in the early facets of a life outside of his parent's house and that his reactions had absolutely no forethought behind them. If you look closely at the descriptions of each and every single chapter that I introduced, at no point in that description do I actually say anything in direct relation to the story. However, those descriptions provide you with a huge stroke as to what that particular chapter entails. Even the titles of each individual series give you a hint at what particular event will take place and how it will impact the main character.

Also during Long Road I was doing a lot of flashbacks between three different timelines so to speak. One timeline spoke directly about the current events taking place; these are the flashbacks that usually include Angie. Angie at this particular moment in the story is a representation of how things are at the end of the road. Every time you see Angie it means that it's an event taking place in the now. Then there's also the second timeline, those are the events that take place in the distant past. During Long Road these were the events taking place during the military training. The last timeline that I'm presenting in the early chapters of Long Road are the flashbacks that the character has during the past timeline. These are usually represented by little side stories or side comments that the character makes to better explain who decide characters are in what particular influence they have to the main character. Once it became very clear that this particular method was very, very confusing and extremely irritating for some of the readers I decided that the best way to continue telling the story would be to limit the flashbacks to either the past or to the present day.

Long Road was simply the journey of a boy becoming a man through some of the worst circumstances that can occur. I hoped that I would be able to show the growth of the character not necessarily in the healthiest of circumstances. This character went from being a flawed boy into an extremely flawed man. The way he views the world around him went from shades of grey and became tones of white and black. By the end of Long Road, I had hoped to introduce the mother figure as the opposite of what the character saw himself as, where she was manipulative and controlling he was more the roll to the punches type of personality with very little cares in the world left after the ultimate betrayal from his girlfriend.

Highsider was a completely different story altogether. If you were to look up what this term meant, it's a very dangerous type of motorcycle accidents where the rider is thrown high above the bars and is usually fatal. Again, those readers that understood by this point that they were more hints as to what the story would be about in both the title and the description of those stories new that this specific journey into the life of the character would have a great impact in to who he would become as a man. This particular chapter described a more visceral aspect into the life of a soldier. At no time was it my intention to reflect the wife character as anything more than the reality of the military family. Some of the commenters were correct, these were two individuals that definitely should not have become a married couple. However, once again I would like to remind readers that these characters were still young and life experience and honestly didn't know any better. One particular comment struck out to me, the commenter reflected a view that I honestly did not see coming. By this point in the character's life the few women that he had come across were completely opposite in personalities from one another. However this commenter felt that I was in fact blaming the military wives for walking away from their families. As a matter of fact, I am.

I know it's very difficult to believe this but the majority of events that have taken place in the story are actual life events. However, the reality of those events is divided among three different individuals. The majority of the story that takes place is in fact my own life story. If I want to divide this story up in percentages about 75% of this story applies directly to me while the remaining 25% applies to my two friends who encouraged me to put these stories into paper. My bitter views about women aren't the same as this particular character, at least not anymore. However many years ago the views that this character expresses towards women in the sense where he has very little trust about them were a reality for me. I had an Ann, I had a Barbara, I had a Christina.

Highsider was designed to do one purpose and one purpose only: to show you the reader just how damaged the war has made this particular character. This chapter was designed to provide you with the deeper flaws that this character has to carry on for a very long time in his life. The fact of the matter is that those experiences that are described in this series where at some point very common experiences that many military members suffered and underwent. But the underlying irony of it is that this character's childhood, as traumatic as it was, better prepared him to function with a distance set alarm to retain the very basic core of his character. This was still an honorable and loyal man to those that he allowed to come within his inner circle. How that marriage ended was how my marriage ended. It was how many marriages ended during the height of the war. Again some commenters took particular offense at the fact that this character has faced so many trials but at the end of the day it was partially his fault for marrying the wrong woman. What those commenters are not keeping in mind is that the character admitted his own faults, his own flaws, and was prepared to walk away from that life in order to become a better man for his wife. The deeper irony within that particular chapter is that the character left his family in order to avoid a life of death and destruction and that is exactly what he got. Just like a wounded animal, when the main character found himself with his back against the wall, he ran to a place that seemed familiar to him. This familiar place was the battlefield.

The Traject once again became prophetic with its name. This was the time where the main character was learning to adapt to life in the best way he could. By this point he was no longer a boy but a fully grown man that was facing the world alone. Dead was the little boy that believed in fairy tales, and instead he had been replaced by this bitter young man. Regardless of the cynicism that he saw around the world, the main character still believed in some sense of honor and pride. During the early chapter and his encounter with Barbara we can see that that character still has some type of moral understanding as to what is right and what is wrong. The question still in people's minds is what if Barbara had not been married? Again, the character does not see that possibility; in his eyes there's only right or wrong. The time that he spent with Barbara made him question for the first time in his entire life that maybe there was something that he can pursue outside of the battlefield. The work that he was doing with his psychiatrist was helping him move along towards that same place. But once Barbara revealed her own betrayal, she placed yet another obstacle in the life of the character as he saw it. At this point because of Barbara's betrayal the character became more jaded to the idea of a relationship. By him not revealing to the husband at the end of that particular chapter of the events that took place show that that moral fiber that the main character held onto for all those years was starting to crumble.

The second chapter talks more about his experiences as a contractor and more importantly his relationship to other people that he doesn't see in any type of romantic limelight. We can see that the character can still carry on effective friendships and those around him can see that loyalty still in him. During the chapter with Rebecca we see this new dynamic being displayed in front of the character, this dynamic was represented by two women who had a meaningful relationship together and simultaneously wanted him to become a part of them. But again the main character still saw things in matters of black and white, and in his mind his presence within that relationship would only damage it. But at the same time that all this is occurring we are seeing a shift within the character where he faced his own mortality. The main character talks about the many close encounters or the close calls he had in previous occasions. But what made that very last one so unique was that at that point in the main character's life he actually had something valuable to lose. By that point in his life he was starting to see himself as an individual with self-worth and value.

He was no longer just a medic, or a warrior, or a killing machine, at this point in his life he was actually seeing himself as a human being thanks to both Rebecca and Martha. The reason he had left to go to the battlefield after the Barbara incident was in order for the main character to find himself. Now that he had, he was willing and ready to return to society as a contributing member in a less dangerous position. For all the other previous chapters in this character's life that often reflected some sense of loss, this particular one at last reflected a gain. It was a small gain; the character finally realized that there is love out there, that there is chance out there for him to find someone.

There are two things that make the third installment of very unique story: the first is that we finally learn the character's true name. At any other point before in the story he was often referred by one of two names, this was the first time that the reader finally learned his real name. Again this was done so that the reader by this point in the story could see the main character as a human being despite all the emotional and psychological scars that he obviously carried. By the time the reader learns the name, it is just a name; it has no meaning, no value, and no reflection on who this character is. However to Christina and better yet to the main character himself, that name still holds a lot of value. Of all the identities that this character identifies himself with, his name is by far the most important one. The second thing that happens is that we finally see the main character interact fully with a woman that has absolutely no baggage and no past history that would interfere with the main character's growth. What we get to see as the readers is a strange dynamic between the main character and Christina in the sense where they have just met each other. They are kindred spirits to the point that the few days they spend around with each other are equivalent to what many couples build over many years. This was his opportunity to truly be happy, this was his chance, Christina was the person he was searching for, but at the end of the day his name was more important to the main character. It was no coincidence that the mother figure became the catalyst in bringing the main character out of this perceived happiness.

Like all my stories, the title reveals exactly what is going to happen within that story. Traject in its original form is defined as throwing or tossing aside. The chapter descriptions were all taken from Newton's Laws of Motion to better describe the narrative. But this series had yet another unique thing from the previous series: each has a subtitle of its own. Each subtitle referenced music in one way or another. Music, in a historical context, has served as a means to not only display creativity but also to communicate. A Ballad is a slow and often times emotional song with unknown authorship; songs that reveal a sense of nostalgia masquerading with mournful undertones. A Requiem is a type of chant displayed as a token of remembrance, usually addressed to a holy figure. A Canticle is a song of praise, again often displayed to a figure of reverence. But a Divertissement is nothing more than a show of skill that does not serve to advance the plot of the character. It simply highlights that particular moment with no gains to the audience or the character. The obvious metaphor of the highway and the character reminiscing hides the true meaning of the story: this is the character truly letting go. I disagree with a commenter that pointed out that revealing the mother as a cheating whore was unnecessary. The character's father reveals the reason for it: the justification as to why the mother went to such lengths to reunite Ann with D. In a sense, D and the father share many characteristics, if the mother could get her son to forgive then she could get her husband to forgive her as well.

But perhaps the most troubling part of this last chapter in this series is that it reveals just how far the main character had come and how easily he let go of all of it. By this point in his life the only thing that this character has that he values is his name. At the end of the day, when the family comes calling there is nothing he won't do for them. His short interactions with his family and his brother quickly reveal just how easily the main character can go from life to life. What this means is just how easily he went from being this honorable man with a bright future in a good career to the same thing he would have been if he had not started the journey he did so many years ago. In fact the previous chapters in the previous series have served one purpose up to this point and that is to show that perhaps we can't escape the lot we are given in life. However, what this character has achieved so far in his life is proportionally larger than what his brother has by remaining in his. When the character is reintroduced to his family we see that everyone around him treats him with a high degree of respect. The manipulative mother is now kept at a distance by the father. The brother that is incarcerated simply looks at the main character, questions his intentions for a brief second and then simply bends to his will. And lastly the reader gets one tiny flashback of the previous troubled life of the main character by introducing Officer Sandoval into the mix.

As I stated before there is still a lot more to tell about the life of this character, however this next series will definitely put the character in a very different light. So far the reader has seen this character as a flawed and fragmented individual that continues to try to put himself together in one way, shape, or form. However the following series will show him put himself together and finally be able to find some sense of peace. Unfortunately it will not be the kind of peace we all wish he had. Another of the reasons why I'm writing this particular explanation is because of how drastically different the character will become, and if the last chapter of the Traject was so confusing to some readers, then this next series is probably not going to be one of your favorites.