Off to College

I was a young and relatively innocent guy, just entering my first year of college. Having grown up in probably one of the furthest back of the backwoods towns in the upper peninsula (U.P.) of Michigan, I had never really had the chance to socialize. I mean it. I graduated first in my class in high school, which wasn't a big deal because there were only ten people in my class and four were my cousins.

Now we did have a school, it was the old Thompson place, an abandoned farmhouse right down on Lake Superior. It was a nice place in late spring and early fall, but the rest of the time, it was damn cold. Aunt Karen did the teaching for everybody, which amounted to thirty-eight kids. Most of us were related which meant lot's of the teaching got passed out to the older kids. We did learn a lot though and I managed to score well enough on my SAT's to get a scholarship to a university. Which was good, because if I hadn't I think Aunt Karen would have whipped me good. One of my cousins, Terri, also received a scholarship to the same university.

It was kind of funny, but we were both happy. The university was out in Colorado, in Boulder as a matter of fact. You know, the city where the show Mork and Mindy was taped. If you don't know the show it was an old Robin Williams sitcom where he played an alien. Anyway, we were excited because it was away from here and it was a city.

Well, by the time August rolled around, Terri and I were anxious as hell to get going. We had decided to drive out there as we both figured having a car would be real handy. I wasn't to sure my '69 Buick was quite up to the trip and Terri had about as much confidence in her '71 Granada. We made a deal with Tony down at the garage. He had a purple '75 Cutlass that he had just put a new transmission in that he wanted to trade for. It cost us each another three hundred but it we knew it would make it out there.

The morning we left the whole family was there to see us off. Mom had packed a whole cooler full of food, and there was a case of coke in there as well. We said our goodbyes and off we went.

Now it's a good thousand miles from our house to Boulder Colorado. We had a trip map courtesy of Terri's dad who was a "AAA" member. It was one of those page by page things that showed the best route to your destination. Terri wanted to take the first shift at driving which was fine with me, I had been up most of the night with my girlfriend Debbie, trying to get her to give it up before I left. I had ended up pounding one out at about four in the morning. She was convinced I was going to find someone new in Colorado.

As we pulled out onto the highway, I pulled my ball cap down over my eyes and let the seat fall back. It laid nearly flat, and really wasn't too uncomfortable. Terri popped in a tape and we were off.

I'm not sure how long I had been asleep when a rumbling sound woke me. I looked over at Terri and her eyes were closed. I shouted at her and she jerked awake. The car skidded sideways and slid to a stop.

"Jesus Christ, Terri." I yelled, jumping up. "You damn near killed us."

She was sitting there gripping the wheel, her knuckles turning white with the effort. She was whimpering, "Oh God, Oh God" and I could see her eyes were bright with tears.

"Calm down." I said, "We're OK. Let's just check the car out and make sure. But I'm taking over for a while."

I climbed out of the car and looked it over. There didn't appear to be any damage. I walked around to the driver's door and opened it.

"Slide over." I said as I started to get in. "And don't worry. We're OK, the car's OK, let's just get going."

I gave her a hug and sat back behind the wheel.

I eased back onto the road and we were off again. Terri opened the glove box and grabbed another tape. As she did, a pack of smokes fell out from underneath. She picked them up off the floor and looked at me accusingly.

"Thought you didn't smoke." she said, waving the pack under my nose.

"I don't, and you know it." I replied, slapping the pack away from my face. They flew out of her hand and landed in the back seat.

We continued driving until a little after twelve. My ass was getting sore, and I saw a rest stop coming up. It was one of those rustic ones with pick nick tables and toilets and little else. I parked the car and Terri grabbed some sandwiches from the cooler. We went over to the picnic table and plopped down.

"Damn it" Terri shouted, "The seat's wet." She stood up and turned around, brushing her bottom. I sat there admiring the view. "pretty nice ass," I said, "for a cousin."

She threw the wrapper from her sandwich at me and laughed.

Realizing we hadn't grabbed any drinks I headed back to the car and climbed in back. As I was reaching for the cokes, I saw the pack of cigarettes sitting on the seat. I grabbed them. "What the hell." I thought, "I'm eighteen, away from home. Shit, maybe I'll try one."

I walked back over to the table and handed Terri a coke. Then I tossed the pack of smokes on the table.

"What the hell." she said, "I thought you didn't smoke."

"I don't" I replied, "But I figured there's going to be a lot of it going on at school, and I don't want my first time to be in front of a bunch of people I don't know. I mean, odds are, with peer pressure and all ...." I let it drift off, not sure what I really meant.

"Well, you got a lighter, dumb ass." she said picking up the pack and flipping it open.

I sat there, blushing, not knowing what to say. I didn't have a lighter.

Terri was looking into the pack of smokes. "Uhm, I don't think these are cigarettes." she said, pulling one out.

It was a hand rolled job, but it didn't look like the person that rolled it was very good at it. Suddenly it dawned on me.

"You think it is..." I said, staring at it.

"Shhh. " she said, slipping the joint back into the pack and closing it.

"What do you mean shhh. There ain't nobody around but us." I said, pointing at the empty lot.

She looked at me, and I looked at her, neither of us wanting to be the one to suggest it.

Finally she slipped the pack into her pocket and looked around. "Let's go back to the car." she whispered.

We climbed into the car and Terri looked around again. "Christ," I thought, "There ain't nobody here." But I found myself looking around as well.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the joint, leaving the pack in her pocket. She reached down and pushed the cigarette lighter. When it popped she pulled it out and, putting the joint in her mouth, drew deeply while lighting it.

Her face turned red and tears started down her cheeks. Suddenly she started coughing and dropped the lighter and the joint. I scrambled to retrieve the dropped lighter and was rewarded with a burnt finger. I finally picked it and the joint up and started to get up. I turned my head and found myself staring at Terri's crotch.

"Pervert." she laughed between coughs, pushing my face away.

I sat up and looked at the joint questioningly. "Go ahead, or are you chicken." Terri chided. She new that would get me. I put the joint in my mouth and sucked hard. Nothing. Terri was laughing.

"It went out stupid." she laughed. She grabbed the lighter from me and pushed it back into the receptacle. A few moments later it popped and she pulled it out and held it out to me.

"Don't choke." she laughed as I held the end of the joint against the lighter.

I inhaled deeply. The tip flared and my mouth filled with an acrid, nasty taste. I fought the burning desire to cough. My eyes watered and my stomach churned, but I held on for what seemed like hours, but was really only a matter of seconds. Finally I started to exhale, and suddenly my body took over, couching and choking as it forced the acrid smoke from my lungs.

Terri started laughing and after my coughing fit subsided I started laughing to. "Not so bad." I said, offering the joint to her. She laughed and put it to her lips. I watched as she took a drag. I wondered why I had never noticed just how pretty her eyes were before. She stared at me, her face a mask of concentration as she held the smoke inside. She handed the joint back to me as she finally exhaled.

I followed suit, all the time staring at her. It really was amazing just how pretty she was, and I had never noticed. Too bad she was my cousin. I might have tried to kiss her. I took another deep drag of the joint. As I did, Terri leaned in toward me, or maybe I leaned in toward her. Our lips met in an awkward sort of kiss. We both pulled back, as if we had been shocked.

I looked over at her. She was facing the window." I'm , uhm, I'm sorry Terri." I muttered." I really don't know why I did that."

She didn't respond. I tossed the joint out the window and started the car. "I think we should get going." I muttered as I put the car in gear.

The next half hour was filled with an awkward silence as Terri stared out the window and I drove. Finally, frustrated with myself and with her, I broke the silence.

"Look, Terri I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. It's just.... Look, I'm sorry. Can we just forget it happened."

"Why?" she said, her voice barely audible.

"Why what?" I asked.

"Why did you try to kiss me?" she said. I could hear the tremble in her voice.

I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want to make matters worse. I knew she was already pissed. Hell, I was surprised she hadn't punched me yet. Surprised and glad cause that girl could hit harder than most guys I knew.

"Look." I said, "I'm not sure why I kissed you, other than it just seemed right. I mean I was looking at you and your eyes, there so ... Hell Terri, I don't know. It's just that right now I wish we wasn't cousins."

"You think I got pretty eyes?" she said, finally turning to look at me. A sort of timid smile on her face.

I stared at her for several seconds. Realizing for the first time just how pretty Terri really was. Her eyes were a deep brown, the kind you could just stare at for hours. Her chin had a slight dimple and her nose was .......... "Hell, " I said my mind racing with thoughts I knew I shouldn't be thinking. "you're the pretties girl I know and, hell Terri I wish you wasn't my cousin."

There it was, I blurted it out. Now I was sure she was going to hit me. I tensed up, ready to get smacked.

"I think you're kind of cute too." she said, reaching over and touching my cheek. "I'm glad I got you with me."

I looked over at her and smile." Me too." I replied, "Me too."

Terri turned the radio back on and put in a Bob Seger tape. We continued down the road, singing along to the music. The rest of the day went by quickly. Terri and I laughed and joked. It was nice to be away from home and on our own.

It was early evening and we were coming into Omaha. We had planned on driving straight through, but I looked over at Terri and she was fast asleep, leaning against the window. I had already caught myself twice starting to doze off. I decided we better stop for the night. I saw a sign ahead for a motel so I took the exit.

Terri woke as I started slowing down.

She stretched and yawned." We stopping I hope." she said, "Cause I gotta pee." I laughed and told her I was exhausted and unless she was up to driving, I was going to stop and get us some rooms at the motel.

She nodded and curled back up against the window.

The motel parking lot was nearly empty, which was good. I pulled in and parked. Terri turned and yawned, stretching. Her shirt had pulled loose from her jeans and as she stretched it rode up exposing the white skin beneath. I caught myself staring at her exposed stomach.

The motel clerk was a pudgy old man with coke bottle glasses and a bald head covered in freckles. He looked up from a newspaper as I walked in. The whole office reeked of cigar smoke and beer.

"I need two rooms." I said, secretly hoping he only had one." And can you make them next to each other."

He nodded and slid a clipboard across the counter. "I need an ID and a credit card." he said, not even looking up from his paper.

I told him I didn't have a credit card. Still staring at his paper he said, "No credit card, no room service and no phone. I still need an ID though."

I didn't care about room service so I pulled out my drivers license and started filling out the card on the clipboard.

"That'll be one hundred and twelve dollars." he said, holding out his hand.

"I thought your sign said twenty-eight dollars a night." I said, reaching for my wallet.

"It is." he said, "That's twenty eight dollars per person, two to a room. That's fifty-six per room and you want two rooms. That's one hundred and twelve. You want the rooms or not?"

I slid the clipboard back across the counter. I couldn't afford that much, not and have any money left when I got to school.

He looked up at me and smiled, showing his tobacco stained teeth. "Tell you what son." he said, "I can let you have one room, with two beds for just fifty. But that's the best I can do."

"I'll be right back." I said, turning and walking out the door. I walked up top the car and climbed in. Terri looked over at me and stretched again, her stomach seemed to glow in the fading light.

"I ain't trying nothing her Terri, but they want a hundred and twelve dollars for two rooms. The man said I could have one for fifty, but that's the best he'll do." I looked over at her, I could feel my face blushing.

"Christ, don't be silly." she said. "As long as it's a room where I can actually lay down. One rooms fine. It ain't like we haven't slept in the same room before. What's gotten into you?"

"I'm sorry." I said, "I just didn't want you thinking' I was " I stammered.

She looked over at me, suddenly realizing what I was getting at." Don't be silly. You're my cousin. I know you wouldn't."

I smiled at her and mumbled a thanks. Then I went back in and signed for the room. I gave the man fifty bucks and got the key.

We drove the car down to the room and climbed out. "I hope it don't smell like the office." I said, opening the trunk to get my suitcase.

Terri grabbed hers and we went inside. The room was nice, with big beds covered with gold spreads. A big color TV sat on the dresser and a phone sat between the beds. There was a refrigerator in the corner, and a clothes rack along the back wall. A doorway led to the bathroom, which seemed almost as big as the room. Terri rushed to the bathroom and closed the door. I could hear her as she started to pee. I found myself listening to the sound wondering. I shook my head and went back out to the car to grab the cooler.

When I came back, Terri was standing by the bed, her suitcase open. "You gotta see the bathroom" she said. "Cripes, the tubs almost as big as these beds. And its got jets in it. It's kinda like a whirlpool. I'm gonna jump in."

She grabbed some clothes and headed back into the bathroom. I walked over to the door and looked in. She wasn't joking. That had to be the biggest bathtub I had ever seen. She flipped on the water and started unbuttoning her shirt. I coughed and she turned around.

"Ooops." she laughed. "I forgot I told you to come see it. Come here, it really does have jets in it."

I walked slowly over to the tub, but my eyes were on Terri. Her shirt was half unbuttoned and I could the curve of her breast through the opening. She looked at me and looked down at her shirt.

"Why you staring." she laughed. "Ain't you ever seen a tit before."

I blushed, and stammered an apology.

She giggled and turned her back to me. "I'm sorry." she said, "I didn't mean to tease you. Hell, I know what Debbie's been doing to you ever since you got your scholarship. I'm glad you didn't let her convince you to stay."

I remembered Debbie's offer. She had told me that, if I stayed back home, she'd go all the way. I had been sorely tempted. "But how did Terri know that." I thought.

I just stood there, staring at her back. She was looking down into the tub. "I'm glad I came, too." I mumbled.

She turned to look at me, tears were running down her face. "You mean it." she said.

The ringing of the telephone caused us both to jump back. Terri let out a little giggle as I turned and rushed for the door. I picked up the phone.

"This is the front desk." A voice said. "I just wanted to let you know you left the trunk of your car open."

"Thanks." I said, and hung up the phone.

"I'll be right back, Terri." I shouted. "I forgot to close the trunk."

I ran outside and slammed the trunk, then turned and hurried back inside.

I stood at the door for several seconds. Unsure of just what to do. I know what I wanted to do, but, what if I was wrong. She was my cousin for Christ sakes. I heard the water being shut off, then I heard the unmistakable sound of water splashing as she climbed in.

"Christ," I thought, "she's naked. Oh Christ, what do I do."

So I did what any red blooded chicken shit would do. I turned on the TV, changed into my pajamas and plopped down on one of the beds. I must have drifted off to sleep, cause the next thing I know, Terri is standing beside me, shaking me.

"Hey sleepyhead" she said, plopping down beside me. Her hair was wrapped in a towel, and she was wearing a cotton robe tied at the waist.

"Dreaming about Debbie?" she said, nodding her head toward the foot of the bed.

"Yeah." I replied, not daring to admit that the real cause of my aroused state was much closer.

"What's it like?" she asked, her face turning a pretty shade of pink. "I mean, what's it like to make love?"

I looked at her, astonished. "You mean you never?" I blurted out, not thinking of what I was saying.

"Course I have." she said, her face turning even redder. "Forget I even asked." She slapped me hard across the stomach and moved away, turning her back to me.

I sat there for several minutes. God that hurt, and I deserved it. "I'm sorry, Terri. It's just that I thought, I mean, you know how guys talk, and well Jimmy Thomas said ..."

I let it drop as she turned to look at me, her face even redder, and it wasn't embarrassment.

"Jimmy Thomas is a turd. He tried to, well you know, and I punched him hard. He cried for almost half an hour afterward." she said, her hands clenched into fists.

"I'm sorry Terri. I mean, I just thought that. I mean, well who wouldn't want to be with you. And, well, Oh shit, I'm sorry." I said, knowing the more I talked the madder she was getting. Her eyes were glistening, and I saw tears starting down her cheeks. Had better find a way to diffuse this or she was going to whale on me.

"Terri, " I said, trying to sound as sincere as possible. "It's OK if you haven't well, you know. I mean, lots of people our age haven't." Right then I knew two for sure. I just hoped she didn't corner me into admitting it. I looked into her eyes and knew the question before she asked. "Shit," I thought, knowing I was about to admit to the biggest lie of my life.

Then she asked, and I knew I had to tell her.

"Yeah, like who, smart ass. Name one other person you know who hasn't done it." she said, her hands clenching and unclenching.

"Me" I mumbled, barely able to believe I had just admitted to being a virgin. Admitted it to my cousin of all people.

"Yeah, right. I saw you and Debbie. You guys were all over each other at the lake." she yelled, her hands like two big hammers waiting to strike.

"No really. Terri, I wanted to, but Debbie, she just, well she'd let me touch her and stuff, but never anything else. And she'd never touch me, not down there." I said, gesturing toward my crotch, which was still poking up, creating a tent in my pajamas.

"You mean it?" she said, her hands slowly unclenching. "You guys never really did it?"

I shook my head, my face starting to redden.