Oliver, Jess and I Ch. 01

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My GF, Roommate and I.
1.8k words
4.11
62.9k
44

Part 1 of the 2 part series

Updated 06/08/2023
Created 11/28/2016
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Hello all. So this is my first attempt at a story of any genre!

My girlfriend and I are quite imaginative with our fantasies, so I figured I'd try and write one.

I wanted some feedback on it, so where else better than the internet?

This is part one of two I guess, I've nearly finished the story and really don't know off the top of my head how far into it this part is.

Anyway, please read, enjoy and feel free to leave all and any feedback in the comments or DM.

Thanks.

P.S. Names have been changed!

---------------------------------------

Jess and I have been living with Oliver for a couple of months now; we met him via craigslist when we decided to get a slightly nicer two bedroom place. We were worried when we finally found a nice flat but had no one to split the rent with, so we said yes as soon as his messaged popped up.

He seemed like a nice enough guy, he was a bit older than us at 28, had dark skin and it was obvious how much of his time was spent in the gym (at least 3 days a week for a few hours). He mostly kept himself to himself, he and I spoke on occasion in the flat and Jess told me she had similar meetings with him. I had noticed that while he didn't seem to talk to us a great deal, he seemed to like Jess. More than once I had seen his eyes follow her as she walked from the bathroom to our bedroom after a shower and whenever she wore leggings it was obvious that he was a big fan of her round ass (though Jess tells me most black guys are). This never bothered me to be honest; I love the feeling that other guys want Jess in this way and I trust her to tell me if she ever wanted to or did do something with anyone.

___

So now you know Oliver, let me move onto the story. It was a typical Wednesday night and Oliver was at the gym as was his routine. Jess and I had already finished off a bottle of wine and were starting to get a bit touchy in the living room. After ten minutes or so of kissing and roaming hands, we decided to take it to our bedroom as we didn't want to get caught by Oliver when he returned a little while later. We got ourselves to our room (which was difficult enough with our hands and lips running across each other's bodies) and finally fell to our bed. I started slipping off Jess's clothes until she was down to her tiny red thong and matching red bra. I love Jess's body; I love her curves, the feel of her skin, and the tenderness of her breasts and the taste of her pussy. We continued kissing and my mouth slowly worked its way down to her stomach and then further to her most private area. I licked and flicked at her pussy for some time, while feeling her body squirm under me, she was so wet now and I knew she was mine. I stood up and moved to my bedside table and opened the top drawer, inside this drawer was a collection of sexual items that Jess and I had collected over our years together; vibrators and dildos, some spanking pads, blind folds and wrist binds. I grabbed the latter two items and moved back over to her. She gave me the sexiest little smile which only Jess can do when she saw what I had bought to her. She sat up excitedly and turned around.

"You want to tie me up babe?" she said in her sweetest voice.

"I'm going to tie you up and blindfold you, Jess. Then I'll have you to do whatever I want".

She giggled excitedly as I placed the blindfold over her eyes and tied it securely at the back of her head. I laid her down and moved her right arm up to the bed stand and tied it. I made sure to tie it tight enough to stop her getting free, but loose enough so she could get out if she really wanted to. I then moved over to her left side and did the same to her left arm. I stood back and looked over my handiwork, Jess was lying in the center of our bed in her thong and bra, wearing a black blindfold and both arms tied slightly above her head. I licked my lips and moved closer. Once again I started kissing and licking her body from top to bottom, when I got down to her bra I pulled her large breasts out and started flicking my tongue over her nipples, again she squirmed and giggled and I then engulfed her whole nipple and began sucking on it gently. I carried on moving my lips down her body while massaging her breast with one hand and slowly stroking her inner thigh with the other. Down and down I went and deeper and deeper her breathing got, I could see a wet patch on her thong now and knew she was very wet.

Then the lights went out.

"What the fuck..." I mumbled to myself.

"It's the electric babe, it's probably run out".

I got up from the bed and stumbled my way to the electric board and felt for the key, it wasn't there.

"You know where the key is Jess?" I yelled through to the room.

"Oh shit, I think Oliver said he would take it and fill it up on his way home" Jess shouted back.

"For fucks sake, I'll have to go to the further shop to get a new one; I'll be back in ten minutes Jess".

"I'll wait for you here" she giggled back to me.

___

I found my shoes and coat and left the flat in the hopes of getting back to exactly where I left off.

"Fucking Oliver, who gives a fuck how many muscles you have if you're too incompetent to get the lights on" I grumbled to myself as I plodded on down the street. I turned the corner and was gone as Oliver arrived to the front door to the flat. He flicked the light switch up and down a few times then swore to himself quietly.

"Ah shit. Lucky I topped up the stick"

He pulled the electric stick out of his pocket and placed it into the meter, the light in the living room remained off but light shone through the slight open crack in our bedroom door. He curiously wondered to the door and peeked through.

"Holy shit" he whispered to himself as he gazed shocked at Jess's bound body.

He stayed hidden in the shadows of the living room and noticed that Jess also had a blindfold on. Oliver lent forward slightly in his eagerness to see more of Jess's body and nudged the door.

"Hello again babe, where were we?" Jess said innocently through her blindfold, she had no idea it wasn't me in the room watching her bare body.

"Holy shit, she thinks I'm Mark...where is he anyway? I wonder if I have time to have some fun myself"

His eyes traced down Jess's body as he stepped into the room and he could feel his cock growing in his gym shorts as he saw the still wet patch on Jess's thong.

"Shit Oliver, it must be your lucky day. I've been watching Jess's fine body wonder round this house for weeks. Fuck me, she really is fine."

"You there, babe?" asked Jess nervously, she was sure she heard something and sensed the lights come back on.

"Mhmm" replied Oliver in his best impression of me.

"Oh good, I have been laying here thinking of what you're going to do to me" giggled Jess.

"She really has no idea it's me" thought Oliver as he moved his hand out to touch Jess's leg.

He slid his hand up her thigh then gently over her pussy as he moved up to the top of the bed. On he went over her stomach, over her breasts then finally up to her mouth which he put his thumb in. She sucked it obediently and moaned excitedly.

"Fuck it, I'm going to finally have some fun with this girl. Been thinking about it for long enough and now it's time to fuck Jess".

He pulled his shorts down reveling a pair of tight white boxers and his tank top off his muscular chest; he stepped out of his shorts and opened Jess's mouth again.

"Oh you want me to make you feel good, babe?" Jess asked excitedly.

"Mhmm" replied Oliver once again.

"This is going great, she's doing exactly what I want" he thought to himself.

He pulled down his boxers and rearranged his semi-erect cock towards Jess's mouth. Moving towards her mouth he noticed how white she was compared to his dark skin, this sent another twitch of excitement down to his cock and it grew another couple of inches. His cock was now at 7 inches and he knew it would still grow some more when he got it into her tiny white mouth. She wiggled eagerly as she felt Oliver lean onto the bed and move the head of his cock to her mouth.

"Just a bit further and I'm going to start fucking her mouth"

"Mmmmm" giggled Jess as the tip of his cock touched her lips and she opened up desperate to suck on the cock she thought was mine.

He moved closer to Jess pushing more of his growing cock into her eager mouth while moving his hand down to between her legs. Jess moved her legs apart as soon as she felt Oliver's hand draw closer, and before he even touched the wet patch he could feel the heat coming off her.

"Fucking hell, she really wants this, this slut is drenched"

He moved his hand onto her thong and began gently stroking the lips of Jess's pussy. She began to moan and squirm which sent vibrations through her mouth and onto his cock. It was now as erect as he knew it would be and he could see that almost half of his 8 inches was buried in her mouth. He moved his weight a bit further forward and buried another 3 inches into her mouth and gently rocked back and forward fucking her mouth as she sucked passionately on her first black cock, even if she didn't know it.

"Holy shit" thought Jess. "Mark is really big tonight; he must really love this blindfold stuff more than I thought".

Oliver continued to gently massage Jess's pussy and continued to make her squirm as he slide back and forth down her lips.

"Time to see what she's got down there" Oliver thought to himself.

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ImaginativeCoupleImaginativeCoupleabout 7 years agoAuthor
You're right

Yeah, I need to consider how others read my story. Obviously not everyone is thinking what I am.

Thanks for the feedback and vote of confidence, I'll take it with me to my next story!

luedonluedonabout 7 years ago
Re: Feedback

IC, your explanation is fine, in that it was what was going on in your mind when writing the story. But, as a reader, it wasn't what was going on in my mind and thus my comments about what I saw as weird structure.

And while I found the concept of your story interesting, that was partly because the situation was so far from my personal experience. Thus I can't be of much help as to where you should take it.

I have recently said to other authors "write your stories for yourself, and if any readers comment that they liked it too, consider it to be a bonus". I tried once to write a story because readers requested it, and it was painful. I suggest that you write from your own ideas the things you like, not what others propose.

Lue

ImaginativeCoupleImaginativeCoupleabout 7 years agoAuthor
Thanks for the feedback

Thank you for the amazingly detailed feedback, it's the kind of feedback that can really help me improve.

If I may, can I counter explain myself a bit to see if it improves anything?

I switched the narration from 1st to 3rd a few times just to develop the story. It's meant as me telling the story - after it happened. I wrote it as if I was recounting the full story, the parts I was absent in the story were later reveled to me, in a journal or to someone.

Does this improve anything?

I'd love your thoughts on how to develop the three of us into another story.

luedonluedonabout 7 years ago
Weird structure story

ImaginativeCouple, you have started this story in the first person, which means that the story teller can only know and write about what he actually witnesses or what he feels about what is happening.

He cannot know what other people are doing when he's not there or know how they are feeling about things. In your story the narrator is not in the house and yet he is describing the actions and feelings of the two people who are.

The only way these actions and feelings can be included in a first-person narrative is to have the two characters tell the first-person narrator afterward as part of the story.

So, without warning, the story switches to third person. As a third-person narrator you are not a character yourself and can have all sorts of insights into your characters' thoughts and actions. And yet your story sounds as though it is still the first-person narrator telling it while having third-person insights.

The idea of your story has potential as the three-way relationship develops. But the execution of the story needs lots of work.

Lue

ImaginativeCoupleImaginativeCoupleabout 7 years agoAuthor
THANK YOU FOR VOTING

Also a big thank you to anyone who voted for this! I didn't realise there was a voting option when I wrote it and it's a nicer surprise to see its not doing bad!

It really means a lot and makes me want to write more, thank you.

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