All Comments on 'On Channel 12'

Good read.

Didn’t really need the half page of program scheduling at the start but otherwise a good read, as usual.

Although Milts behaviour toward three children he raised was somewhat lacklustre.

Also when he left why the hell didn’t he take his gun with him, if he was the owner of record he was ultimately responsible for the death and injuries sustained, just saying.

Well hell - nothing like getting hit upside the head with a 2x4! The shooting of Sierra and Summer is some of the darkest content I've run across on this site. That I was sucked into the characters by the strong plot and character development made it hit me hard. Milt's actions after separating from Cheryl would've unraveled on him but I can't fault you on that as Cheryl's death ended that plot line. 5*

JimBob's usual male protagonists are the perfect 'Aw, shucks' heart of gold characters, but I like that Milt comes off pretty grubby here. First, he allowed Cheryl to live her delusional lifestyle, and never grow up. Then, he abandons his daughters (Yes, his daughters. He was the only father they'd ever known) and wages a war of pettiness that eventually gets Sierra killed. Yeah, Cheryl was a monster, but Milt played his part in his daughter's murder.

Your best story yet .

Nicely done .

Should have levelled some punishment down on scumbag Stan , but whatever .

Great story anyway

Wow. Just wow.

Milt killed Sierra. How could he just walk out on the girls. He didn't have to stay with Cheryl, but he could made sure the kids were ok.

No matter what you say at the end of the stories about what is bad about them, They are still very good stories. Love them all. 5 Stars. Would give them ten if I could.

Milt must have been blind and stupid to ever stay with the bitch wife...

Just a pet peeve but if you don't use soap on your iron skillet because it takes the seasoning off your skillet then you need to learn how to season an iron skillet...

Wonderfully told. Thanks.

A very strong story. Well told with good humor mixed in with the sadness. I enjoyed it very much.

Excellent, only negative is, you mentioned TX when you said the protesters were from Austin. It's true they would be from Austin, however real Texans have been trying to move Austin to San Francisco for decades

Ok. You got me

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Ought to dig out that bitch and kill her again. Story made me cry.

fuck

five stars, but fuck

I got sucked into the story but am mad as hell that the oldest daughter got killed. I don't blame Milt. He doesn't own the crazy stuff the wife did. Didn't think the story jumped around too much. The dialect was understandable. Yes, Milt was a chump (as are many JB44 protagonists) for not doing some kind of paternity test, but then they all seem to fall in love with obese girls (maybe it just seems that way), so at least they are consistent in having appalling judgment.

I like some of your stories, some aren’t for me, I’m sure the people who like those types love them. I just don’t like the descriptions I had to google kinzzi literotica to find one of my favorite stories. Could you figure that out, please?

As a little boy my mother tried to kill me a few times. She told me I was like my father and worthless. She beat me and tried to murder me quite a few times and at 7 years old I couldn't take it anymore. So I went to the third floor and lay down on my bare mattress and I had to sleep on and set fire to the mattress. Hoping that I would be away from all the pain. Did not work. Damn fireman saved me. I am 71 years old now and I have never gotten over the bad things that happened to me as a child.

Only managed half of the first chapter, got bored then and gave up, a load of drivel

Excellent dialogue and banter. Patois sounded just like people I have heard talking on the streets in small towns near New Orleans! Character development was great. It takes words, situations to demonstrate it. These 3 girls were made real by this story, at least to me. As to those critics who find the human events portrayed here incredible, you haven't worked in an Emergency Room. In a decade I have seen worse. Blind love is real, but subject to random glaring beams of harsh reality. Stress and guns lead to horror. How many school shootings are needed to prove that? I already miss Milt and his daughters.

I found the story interesting and the dialog diveting, until near the end when Sierra was murdered by her mother. Wtf? And Summer was almost also murdered. How could any family survive that? In hindsight, a lot of people blame Milt for abandoning his kids (and yes they are his daughters, screw the sperm donor). But at the time what is he supposed to do? He won't get custody. He would be lucky to get the alternate weekend scenario. Stan is a corrupt police officer looking to murder him. He is being followed and harassed. But where I think he went off the rocker, is cutting off her cell phone access, repossessing her car, and especially having the utilities and water disconnected. Those costs can all be balanced out during the divorce settlement. Those are his daughters. He created a pressure cooker situation (along with Stan ghosting and rejecting Cheryl) that made Cheryl the Monster snap. I know hindsight is 20/20 but really? Given his name is on the girls' birth certificates, he could have had the lawyer arrange for supervised visitations and seen how the girls were living. Yes Cheryl was an absolute monster but I don't think Milt knew how monstrous she was and never thought that the girls were in danger. However he took no thoughts to his girls' welfare. Zero. And made their lives much harder. Had he taken any interest, say under the protection of supervised visitation, or seeking a restraining order for Stan (admittedly a reach), he would have seen they had no utilities (for a couple of days), little to no food, and were emotionally abandoned by BOTH parents and the sperm donor. Even some small actions could have saved Sierra's life. Then again he may have gone offshore for 2 weeks and she would have killed them anyways once she realized Stan had abandoned her for good. I have a hard time believing Summer would not have some resentment for Milt abandoning the girls (Skye is too young) and Milt being really guilty and becoming an alcoholic or something. What happened was really, really bad, and even if the direct fault is with Cheryl, many people, inclding the neighbors were complicit.to.various degrees: hello Linda or Chelsea or (clueless) John or Uncle.Clark, call freaking Child Protective Services! Cheryl was incapable of caring for the three girls. But in the end, author crossed a line and had Sierra die. Would have been better if the two younger sisters ran and Sierra got shot outside but saved. Again i.can kind of see why Milt wanted time alone and to walk away for a while due to the betrayal and Stan being scary, but really? No contact at all? Petty revenge on bills? You can sort out all that during the divorce. And btw whatever happens to the corrupt asshole Stan and to Heidi and her kids?

This story takes a hell of a dark turn but still rings true. RIP, Sierra. Rot in hell, Cheryl.

So, you made a 58 year old man cry. If that's not good writing, I don't know what is.

You're a good story teller. 5* for this brilliant, albeit dark, writing.

You forget, yes it is plain awful

You keep on writing and we'll keep on giving you **5's** !

Thanks for sharing your imagination and skill

I'm sorry, but I wish you'd just start the story by saying "everyone has a cajun accent". ⭐

Brilliant story, incredibly moving.

I'm British, never been anywhere cajunish, didn't need anything to tell me what accent to expect.

"Cheryl took Milt's .357 magnum out of the drawer"

Milt didn't take his gun? No one forgets to take their gun when they move out. Not in America.

I also agree with previous commenters that Milt is a piece of shit and was compliment in Sierras death. You don't cut out all contact with your daughters that you raised since they were born even if you find out later they aren't yours. You don't just turn off that love, especially when they are innocent in the deception. Not only is that a scumbag move, but it goes against Milts established character and personality.

Just another example of how this author struggles with the third acts/endings of his stories.

Imaginative and engaging, but as others have said Milt is a scumbag for abandoning his kids... Yes his kids. One was his kid for 11 or 12 years.... Leaving then with nothing including did and utilities is evil....

Wife was flat crazy...

First time reading this one, there was a lot going on through this story with crossing plot lines. Was glad to see Milt took the two girls back as his daughters in the end. Had to clean the mist off my glasses when Summer told Skye to run.

The only regrettable thing was of course Milt's abandonment of the daughters, as reprehensible as his wife was the daughters loved him and he did indeed love them, but his anger at his piece of shit wife clouded his judgement and love of his daughters (and they were his daughters by love both by his life ve o them and their love of him, no matter what kind of scum the mother was) to bad Cheryl did'nt do the right thing and go kill her scumbag lover instead, then they could both burn in hell together.

I usually like your stories but this one was terrible between the mc abandoning his kids and killing one of the daughters, there wasn't much to find satisfaction in.

5 stars but WOW, that got dark! keep up the good work. DMW aka

This was Four star story, mainly because you wrote the MC as a terrible father, no matter the sperm donor. He is, in part, responsible for his one daughter's death and the destruction to his other daughters' psyches.

JPB

Came close to shedding a tear or two when the child got murdered. Only part of the story I did not enjoy⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Milt should not have abandoned his girls despite the DNA. He's just as guilty as Cheryl for Sierra's death.

This was a tough one to get through. The writing is good…. the emotions, maybe a little too raw. People in comments like to place blame. If you’re going to do that, trying blaming the person who pulled the trigger. She created the whole mess. MC seemed to have done best he could. If he was anymore proactive, sheriff would have killed him. My only beef is that you don’t leave a weapon loose like that, especially when kids are around. Cheryl should have just put one bullet in her own head.

Hate the Late Wife (burning in hell forever!😈👿🔥) and Scumbag Cop, Gator bait you think?

Not good. Way too many people to keep track of. Only made it to page 4.

No, just no. An endless list of names and accompanying bullshit about small town TV shows. No idea what you thought you were doing there. I had to stop.

Oof. There's a lot to unpack here. Despite too much backstory for the side characters, too many random side roads derailing the story, I did enjoy it. I absolutely hate that you killed off Sierra. I absolutely hate seeing kids hurt or killed, period. Or animals unless it's self defense or a mercy killing. I'd watch a Cajun cooking show 100%. Loved the way you wrote that Cajun / Southern style of speech. Took a bit to get into, but once you have the rhythm going, you don't even miss all those pesky articles... All in all I gave it 4⭐. Would have been 5⭐if you focused more on the main story and didn't kill an innocent kid off.

Just wow. Well done, more like a short story from a compilation.

You hit all the emotions. I read it one go, now I'llc have to check out the rest of your submissions.

Thanks for sharing.

I stopped reading after page 2.

Very emotional, sadly it happens for real.

Milt was a bastard for abandoning his girls. He knew there was no car or electricity and he just let them suffer

Good stuff, I thoroughly enjoyed it. 5 stars. Thanks for posting.

stopped reading after page 1, story sucked.

Beautiful. 5

Anon from 2 months ago wrote: “ Milt was a bastard for abandoning his girls. He knew there was no car or electricity and he just let them suffer”

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First, they aren’t his girls. Second, their mother should have dealt with that by getting their actual father to pay the bills. Third, they could have gone to live with their father. Fourth, there’s private charities. Fifth, there’s public welfare.

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Just because you like someone doesn’t mean you have a responsibility for them. Just because you’re in need, doesn’t mean anyone else owes you anything. Was Milt responsible for every child that didn’t have food or electricity?

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As for his name on the birth certificates, any contract based upon fraud is null and void. I don’t know what a judge in Cajun country would rule, nor do I care. Multiple horrific injustices were inflicted on this man..

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Me, I would have killed the slut and the cop once I knew what they did. Lots of ways to do it and make it look like something else.

/

ZK