One Shot Short Story: Maggie Mae!

Authors Note: I ask everyone to please not take this one too seriously. I believe I am drunk writing this, at the very minimum I am tipsy. Possibly I am sloshed!

I was just watching some early Warner Brothers cartoons I had not seen in years and loved them. This popped into my head and I need to write it!

So bear with me, and pray my spell checker does a good job! This one is for the heck of it.

Sincerely,

Payen Brant

*****

Maggie Mae's Romance

"Oh! This dress looks terrible!" Maggie said as she tossed the thirteenth floral sundress onto the top of her bed. She reached into her closet to arm herself with another article of clothing that would work only to find empty hangers! She poked her head in as well and gave an unladylike grunt to see nothing left inside worth wearing and felt like bursting into tears!

This was her first date in over 4 months! She was going to turn 32, no..."30ish" sounds better. First date in 4 months and she was going to become a spinster! A 30ish single female with no man in her life, no prospect of children, no social life, she didn't even have a cat! Not that she wanted one, nasty things need a litter box and there was no WAY she would ever clean up after another animal pooped!

"PTHAPT!"

Oh! No! He would be here any minute! She quickly ran to the windows on the back of the house and turned on the industrial sized ventilation fans commonly used in chemical manufacturing facilities and the smell of her...ummm...flatulence was carried swiftly from her bedroom! She winced as she smelled a whiff of the odor herself and gagged a little.

Whew! That was horrendous! Smelled like a gone bad box of rutabagas being run over by garbage truck in front of a sawdust factory!

Maggie checked the time. There was no time! She had to hurry...

With a speed that many women are quite capable of doing and purposefully keep hidden from their husbands and boyfriends Maggie showered and dressed.

In 4 minutes and 36 seconds! A world record if there ever was one.

She slid her curvy frame into a dress she normally wore to shop in. A plain khaki skirt with pleated pockets that she had to buy since it looked darling. And then decided on a T-shirt with a thick green fuzzy sweater thrown over the top. She caught her reflection in the mirror and wanted to groan, but decided it was for the best.

She had wanted to come across as a Luscious Librarian since Seductive Starlet and Tasty Temptress were not possible with her clothes. However, what peered back from the mirror was more like Average Aunt!

The doorbell rang and she jumped almost sprouting her bushy tail as she ran to close all of the windows and turn off the ventilation system. She took a careful sniff and there might have been a trace of smell, but she could just say the food disposal unit had a problem and needed to be looked at.

She scurried to the door taking one final last check of herself in the mirror by the entryway. She noticed a lock of her dark black hair had come loose. She tucked the strands away behind her ear and opened the door with what she hoped was an inviting smile.

Jerry Dupont stood a little straighter as the door opened and tried his best not to gape at the woman in front of him. She was of a height with him, but with feminine shapely lines. Such lines!

Chin Line...

Waist Line...

Hip Line...

Bust Li..."No! Eyes up! Eyes up! Danger...Danger!" His eyes pulled away from what the soft green sweater was failing to disguise.

He was so glad he did because those warm, nervous eyes let him know that they were in the same boat. She was just as nervous as he was. He did his best to moderate his tone so she would not hear what he actually sounded like.

"Hello Maggie! Its nice to finally meet you." He said and held out his little bouquet of violets.

"He remembered I like violets! YES! Wooohooh!" She thought. He sounded a little like his nose was stuffed up but he didn't sound bad at all.

"What a silly thing to be nervous about? But I can see where someone would feel insecure about that." She thought to herself. Before he could step inside she stepped outside with her coat over her arm and shut the door firmly behind her.

She was a little nervous that the ventilation system might not have gotten the entire stink out of her house!

It turned out they had a lot to talk about. Her work as a meter maid, his work as a warehouse foreman, it felt good to be on a regular date! With a regular guy!

Jerry himself was enjoying this a lot. She didn't want to sit and have a bite to eat, she wanted to stand outside a small café and enjoy a buttered croissant with a cup of coffee. A small table stood next to them to set their drinks on. She felt a little bit of tension inside her belly talking to him and after checking the wind she moved to his opposite side and carefully let her body do it's thing.

"pfft..."

Two possible college students who used the words "Like Really...?" too much both made international signs for choking and got up to leave quickly! Maggie breathed a sigh of relief that she had dodged that bullet and the wind hadn't of changed direction. It might have been Jerry leaning over a trashcan and emptying his stomach.

Oh no! There wasn't enough room for both girls to do that at the same time! Maggie hoped the young woman would be able to get the stains out...

Jerry found this woman to be so much fun. She laughed at his jokes, and she had funny ones to tell as well. When she walked she almost seemed to hop a little like a bird. Or like she was trotting. Maggie also held his arm in a possessive way as they walked which made him so very glad he didn't have a desk job. As small in stature as he was he was grateful to have some hard muscle for her to appreciate.

They even danced a little at a small outdoor venue and she was as fun to hold as he had thought she might be.

It was on the way home that things changed. Both of them were stopped by a couple of hoods wanting their money. Jerry actually stood in front of her and said he would give them all the cash he had on him, and for whatever reason one of the men punched him in the face knocking him down!

The hoods didn't know what hit them as Maggie stepped forward and changed. Her black hair seeming to push over her body and a white stripe ran up and down her back all the way to her luxuriously fluffy tail!

"Do you know how long I have waited for this date? Do You!" She bared sharp little teeth as she whirled so her back was facing the startled men. Her tail came up instinctively, raising her skirt at the same time and...

"PTHAPT!"

"PTHAPT!"

There was a short scream and terrible wet retching noises from the attackers as they scrambled blindly at their eyes, mouths and noses. Maggie began hitting them with her purse, her teeth still bared and tail lashing until she realized what she was doing. She ran over to Jerry and changed back into human. He was rubbing his jaw and blinked a few times before he noticed her.

He looked at the men stumbling away and then back at her.

"What did you do?" he asked, his voice sounding a bit more nasally.

Maggie was embarrassed but said, "I used a stink spray on them. Personal defense tool. I didn't get any on you did I?"

Jerry looked down at himself. "No, I don't think so."

His response made Maggie's eyes open wider behind her glasses! He was inundated with the smell and she couldn't help but blurt out, "You can't smell it?"

He looked a little crestfallen, but shook his head; "No...I got in a bike accident when I was younger. Hit my face pretty good and banged up my nose when I was a kid. It damaged something and now, I have no sense of smell."

He sighed, "I have had problems like, not noticing my girlfriend's perfume was different, and most food tastes pretty bland to me now, but in the...oomph!"

Maggie was kissing him hard and giggling at the same time...

"Best...Date...EVER!"

The End.

*****

Authors Note: I feel a lot more sober now, and am going to go to bed. Please don't take this story too seriously, it was just for fun. I need sleep now. Goodnight.

Sincerely,

Payen Brant