One Star Random Mystery

At least he didn't have to wait for the computer to go through the starting motions.

Speedy fingers, a hour, and three access-logs later, he found the name of the place she had been working from, but had since left: Brewer's Internet Cafe. She had been at it for hours before he awoke, and she had copied every text file on his machine. He would have found all of it out sooner, but he was reading the info-sphere news for the day at the same time, and wasn't all that concerned with her name anymore.

Felix's second story balcony was actually the nicest part of the apartment, even if it did overlook an unused street and one of many abandoned warehouses. On the massive corrugated steel wall that dominated his view - blocking out everything but the sky - and in some sort of deco fashion, was a huge painted advertisement for some kind of polish, faded and distorted by forces that seemed to know what they were doing. At least Felix thought it was polish, it could have been sixty or more years old, a cartoon woman with an overly dated hairstyle holding a small tin of the product close to her head; the slogan at the bottom was flawless, though, and read: "Add Gleam To Your Lifestyle!"

It was the patio chair, the sheer size of it, and the plants that upped the ante. It was moreso a garden than anything else, vines and hanging planters included; he had often thought of sod but decided it would have been over the top. Felix's patio was the length of the building, he was on the top floor, and with eight apartments, it only had three occupied; the other five were gutted and empty.

Twenty years from now, this end of town would be anything from middle class to luxury loft apartments, he knew it, everyone did, even the skeptics, that's why he bought the building. Felix took 'silent partner' to the next level; the mystery woman was making it worse with her idea of a variation on the theme. Felix had no desire to be the other man.

He sat down slowly into the whicker chair - both he and it letting a groan escape - and then placed his coffee and the phone on the small glass table next to the ashtray. He grabbed the half smoked cigarette from the day before, not lighting it, but hanging it from his lips, breathing through it and thinking he needed to brush his teeth.

The phone rang when he put his feet up on the railing. He answered it, waiting, then spoke after about five seconds of silence: "Hello."

"Hello. Why did you hang up on me?" She seemed agitated.

"Just because you're a wizard too, you say that I'm doin' you wrong!" Felix was singing.

"What's wrong with you?" The stern nature of her comment highlighted the fact that her voice was at it's natural tone for the first time.

"Other than that I'm tired, I have no answer for you." he felt the words more than he spoke them.

"Tired of what?" her question was serious. Felix thought of how to list thousands of things in a few seconds while at the same time combining physical and metaphysical things - at the same time; her question set off the whirlwind that was reflexive and compulsive, most often referred to as thought by the vulgar. He said nothing, deciding rather to not complain. "Good point. ...me too." Quiet reigned over the line between them with contemplation hidden behind it, no one seemed to mind. "It looks like it's going to rain again today. You should brush your teeth."

The phone clicked on the other end and Felix set it down. He grabbed the cheap plastic lighter that he had stolen from David, lit the stub from yesterday, and debated the infinite possibilities of what seemed to be happening.

"You all are loving this, huh?" Felix was talking to the multitude of plants; he might have been referring to the weather.

***

"Get her to meet you. You can use my car." Alex was across from Felix at the high table in the bar. He had a woman on either side and one standing behind him - all feeling him up. Off in the distance was a small group waiting, hoping, Alex or his cute friend would come and start a conversation.

"What's wrong with my car?" Felix still had not brushed his hair.

"Why she call so late?"

"Maybe she's bored?" Felix knew what he was supposed to do with his mystery woman, but getting there felt like willingly standing before a firing squad. "She wants me to take it..."

"Ezactly homey." Alex, three ladies deep already, was in the process of eyefucking one at the bar, and one by the door - silently daring them to come over and join the fun.

"Is he gay?" It was one of the hounds stuck on Alex's arm that spoke. Her words attracted the attention of the other two nearby.

"Ugh, they all are these days," the sound came from Alex's back.

"Too bad," came from Alex's other arm, the words were dripping.

While Felix stood quietly, sipping the beer he had been drinking for an hour, Alex stepped back into the conversation. "No, he no gay, he worse. He romantic." Alex and the three in the rotation that he was probably going to take home all rolled their eyes and falsely fawned over one another, the table, and the invisible vapors in the room that were apparently stifling.

"I hope you die of herpes." Felix might have been serious; he was looking right at Alex, the ladies were laughing.

"bah... Americans think everything kill you." The ladies were still laughing.

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition." Only Alex smiled at that, the ladies had stopped laughing, apparently it was a complicated topic.

"What you have to lose, hmm? Dignity, respect? Only get that from me." The three surrounding Alex had begun to whisper amongst themselves, giggling and staring at Felix. Alex turned his attention away from his friend to speak to them, "...he no gonna like that. He gonna be mean to you, you... stick with me." Their plot foiled, the three returned to their swooning of Alex.

"Thanks," Felix kicked his beer Alex's way to accent the action.

"No problem. Look she want you. She chasing you down makin' it easy to take. Why? For what? Hobby? C'mon Feli. Maybe she want romance? She get you, hmm?" Alex was speaking more in statements than questions. "When the last time that happen?"

Felix sighed hard, full, and loud. "Lena..." Alex raised his glass and toasted Felix's beer bottle.

"I'd get him..." One of the ladies had cheesed an interruption. She only received a quick and contemptible stare from Felix and Alex. Before she had a chance to be offended, or to apologize, a different woman, from off in the distance of the bar, had butted her out of the way and began copping feels of Alex.

No one but the dismissed seemed to mind. The woman that had been seated by the door was on her way over as well, swaggering, and she too did not seem to mind the dismissal, either, and pushed her way between Alex and the table.

"Saturday night special?" Felix was pointing at the now four molesters with his beer bottle, he had seen this before.

"Maybe?" Alex shrugged his shoulders, the one between the table and himself was swirling her hips, staring at Felix. "No name... You no even know what she do? You no ask?" Alex seemed confused.

"What's wrong with a little mystery?" Felix was serious.

"A-men." All four ladies had spoken in choir, and one whistled to follow; they had been listening, but it happened so fast that it appeared compulsive. The sound was strangely calming to Felix, and he slammed the remainder of his warm beer, quickly dropping a twenty on the table for the waitress Alex was hitting on; it was only eleven o'clock.

"You do it? How you do it?" Alex seemed to be playing various steps through his head, always on his game.

Felix stopped at that and turned towards the door, contemplating before he spoke. "I guess I'll have to see what happens. I don't think it's up to me." Felix walked out without saying goodbye, no one seemed to mind.

"Your friend is hot." One arm had spoken up.

"Mmhmm." said the other arm and his back.

"He my best friend. He date my sister when he in college."

"Oh I love colleges!" It was the one against the table, humping his crotch; she had her hand on her mostly exposed tits, as if aghast.

"Me too!" rang the remaining choir, as if equally as aghast.

***

Least of all, it was a college brochure moment, stereotypical as it was; a fact Felix was counting on. He sat by his alonesome under a tree on the vast grass of the entryway lawn, wanting nothing more than to absorb the information within his textbook. It was a class he found no basis for in reality, and wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. The sooner he read the book and took notes, the sooner he could test out of the class altogether.

The semester had just started, and the feel of the warm fall air in the sun combined with the sounds of nature help drown society out to background noise. His intention was to be alone - easily a great distance from the nearest paved surface - which is why he was so surprised that she came up to him.

"'ello, lonely."

"That's a matter of opinion." The accent seemed familiar, and he was starting to have a hard time concentrating.

"What? You no like people?" The moisture of her mouth was audible as her tongue moved in speech.

"Do you often have conversations while reading?" Felix intended to give this person an earful as soon as he was done reading the particular sentence he was on.

"Mmhmm, all the time. No have to be rude..."

"Me or ...you?" His words had faded off, slightly incomplete.

"What?"

"What?" Felix had lost his place in the reading and had forgotten the subject matter in it's entirety. It would have happened sooner, but he hadn't looked up her way; his nose had been buried in the book.

"You want... me leave?" She was pointing at herself, then off towards the college buildings in the distance, then back to herself, repeating the gesture over again. She might have been smiling, but her attitude was too sly for his understanding.

"I... uh..." was the best he could do. Felix was trying to think too many things at once in a most endearing fashion, and she couldn't resist. She dropped her backpack, using it as a backrest while sitting on crossed legs across from him. Making matters worse, she said nothing, only stared and studied him while she lit a joint.

He knew her, her thick accent, and her thick body. A stick figure by no means, he fought hard not to stare at the fabric fighting to hold her into her clothes. She was in most of his summer classes, and a few this semester as well, though a senior and ahead of him in time served.

"You no remember me?" She offered him the joint, blowing out smoke.

"I don't know if I can handle this?" he continued to stare at her lips; the color and the wafting smoke were hypnotizing; he forgot to answer her question.

"Your name, is Felix, no?" She had started smiling at him, well realizing her effect on this particular young man previously; Felix couldn't help but notice her body was built for his own, as if someone had asked him what he liked and where exactly he would like it even though he didn't know the answer until he saw her. Her jeans and tee were also one size too small; her bra pushed through the fabric while her panties snuck past her jeans at her hips.

"It is?" She paused at his answer, putting her hands on her knees and holding smoke. At the same time, she gave him an open eyed look of sympathy; his name was written on his backpack leaning against the tree.

"Felix?"

"Hmm?"

"You ...ok?" That did it; Felix snapped to and looked around, turning radish red and glancing back down at his book.

"I, uh, should be fine? I'm sorry, Lina..."

"You remember me?" Her teeth were showing again.

"Humanities, Latin, and advanced accounting," Felix bobbed his head with each elective mentioned. He was smiling, less red, but nonetheless feeling his shame for ogling; mad at something he could not control. Lina puckered her lips and nodded at his recall, relighting the joint he never reached for, which had gone out for some reason.

"So what are you reading?" She puffed her chest slightly as she sucked in he breath and held it, licking her painted lips and adjusting her glasses.

"I have no idea." He couldn't look her in the eye, almost ready to tear, and hopelessly lost in attraction. He had been avoiding this confrontation for four months, not an easy task as it involved much running and diving behind cover - the trick was to roll on landing.

"You no like me?" She turned devilish, then angelic before continuing; Felix had tried to say something. "I sorry about my friends, they mean to you."

He had already been thinking of that exact summer day to which she was referencing, trying hard to forget the tent in his shorts and the group of giggling young women. His face was strangely similar in expression that day as it was at this moment on this day; he was also trying hard to fight his memory of her nipples stabbing an orange bikini top. "Uh.. yeah... that was... So where are you from?" Felix already knew; he never had this problem with other women.

"America, silly boy, I just no live here forever. You sure? No want?" She was offering him the joint again. Felix had not noticed that that was what she was referring to.

"Of course I want you. I've wanted you since the first day I saw you. I think about you all the time..." Felix could not close his mouth and shut up, and he was trying to despite his rapid speech, even when she interrupted. He had just poured his heart out to his spank bank fantasy queen whilst trying not to.

"Work both ways, Feli." Lina, relishing the moment, used her unoccupied hand to point at the joint she held in the air with the other, not wondering how he missed her intention. Her eyes were all seriousness, at first, behind the lenses, studying him.

"...and then I see you and I get all stupid." His hand absently moved to press a fist to his temple, explaining the words through sign. "...can't think, like I'm not allowed."

"Maybe you should have some?" She was still pointing at the joint, but her head was nodding now, her face changing to gaze upon him like some kind of lost puppy while playing doctor at the same time.

"Just... Don't touch me unless you love me, ok?" The opposite of earlier, Felix had to fight to get the words out, his eyes squished as he said it.

"Promise." smoke was coming out of her mouth as she whispered, moving to her hands and knees to kiss him in the shade of the giant old tree that no one cared about. "I help you fix that head," her words brought his eyes back to visibility; he stared her down, her body poised for the inevitable embrace. She kept her glasses on, no one seemed to mind.

***

"You're a romantic, aren't you?" Felix hadn't been inside the door of his apartment for a minute before the phone rang. He had time to close the door, note the blinking light on his machine, and stare at the phone. The ring was timed to the gaze.

"That's awful coincidental."

"What is?"

"Choice words from multiple events highlighting my current path of thinking."

"Hmm. You didn't get my message did you?" She seemed sad.

"Why are you always whispering, seriously?"

"How do I unlock the hidden journal files? You didn't mention they were locked." She seemed frustrated, as if she had spent too much time on just that subject.

"Did I give you those files? I wonder why I would forget to give you the unlock key to translate files like that. Woops, mybad."

"Well what's in them?"

"Things I've forgotten."

"You're a terrible liar, even if you are smarter than me."

"That's a bold claim..."

"What time do you want to pick me up?"

"Who says I want to pick you up?"

"Fine, what time do you want to meet me? I'm in the bath, so, how about three hours? Did you know there is a lake and a really nice park hidden in the middle of the industrial storage complex by where we met?"

"There is?"

"Yup, thank the environmental protests. Go there and I'll find you. It's dark but no one will see us."

"You want me to meet you at a poorly lit park at about two in the morning when no one else is around?" Felix was stifling his laugh.

"Yes." The mystery woman was not laughing.

"Yeah alright then. I've done stranger things. Just don't murder me."

"Fine," he could almost feel her roll her eyes, and he had the faint sensation of rose oil in his nostrils even though he was brewing coffee. "Park by the other cars, there's only one lot near it." and then the phone clicked.

Felix hung up the phone and strolled to the machine, hitting playback: "I tried to fuck my husband tonight. I felt like I was cheating on you, and we've only met once in passing. Now I can't stop thinking about you being single and on the loose. I don't want to fuck..." she put a vehement spin on the word before switching back to her whisper, "...someone anymore."

Felix stood for a moment pondering while basking in the incandescent lighting from the electronics. He spoke aloud to himself: "I think I'm in love, or she thinks I'm god..." He then popped the tape out of the machine and replaced it with a fresh one. "...either way, this feels like a set-up." Felix, so relaxed and so comfortable with the situation, even if it went bad, felt as if he himself were/was also in a warm bath - literally. The sensation of being surrounded by warm water and tiny bursting bubbles were/was causing his skin to tingle, yet no water was in sight.

***

The sun was rising as he walked back to his car. He had been thinking all along that she wasn't going to show up, but the peaceful time spent on the bench staring at the night reflected in the small lake had made being knowingly ditched well worth it. Cars were leaving and arriving for the next shift of the nearby warehouses. Felix thought about waiting for a while longer, but he wanted to sleep, and he wanted a cigarette, and he wanted some coffee, so he went home.

There was a note under his windshield wiper. "I left you a note" was all it said. When he got home, there was a note on his apartment door: "I bet you thought I ditched you."

Unsurprisingly, the phone rang when he walked in the door, Felix answered it: "Hello."

"Hello, did you get my note?" Felix could hear the glee in her voice, like she was proud of herself.

"You left a note?"

"You're kidding, right? Technically there were two of them."

"...and you're going for what?"

"Duh. If you want this you're going to have to take it."

"Get good, I knew that already. If I called you a shady bitch who's not at all clever would it offend you?"

"Well mayb-" Felix had waited until she started talking before he hung up. He walked over to his cigarette pack and pulled a fresh one as the phone began to ring. He pretended it wasn't ringing so that he could ignore it. The machine clicked just as he sat into his whicker chair by the railing. The caller didn't leave a message. The phone began to ring again as he lit the cigarette, and it didn't stop until he turned off the ringer on the way to his bed. Felix felt like crying, but he wasn't sad or really that upset at all. He fell asleep trying to figure out why he would cry if he was calm and wasn't emotional in the least.

There was at least a single message when he finally crawled out of bed Monday morning to go to work. Knowing who it could be from, knowing no one else would really call him here as business calls went elsewhere, and knowing he would see Alex this morning - all of this made him juxtaposed. He started coffee, got ready for work, and then leaned on the counter next to the finishing brew with his empty thermos in his hand, staring at the blinking light all the while, even as he brushed his teeth.