Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereThen I felt her thumb pushing against my clit and a little sky-rocket exploded within my pelvis but that was just the beginning of the fireworks that started to explode when she put her other thumb on the other side of my clit and she pushed her thumbs against each other with my clit between them. With every pound of Jasper's, another rocket exploded. Then all my muscles relaxed at once and I collapsed on the grass. I saw Marisa pulling Jasper down towards her face and taking him in her mouth again.
"Jasper, take her and make her one of us," I whispered.
He looked at me and crawled around her, opened her legs wide again and looked at her.
"Ok?" he asked.
She looked sideways to me when she answered.
"Ok," she softly moaned.
Then she held out her arms to Jasper and kissed him deep when he entered her. Their mutual orgasm didn't take long. It turned out that her tightness and his size were perfect for a quick fuck. I really felt a part of them as I kissed her when she orgasmed and kissed Jasper when he came.
For some parts of myself, I felt myself falling in love with this beautiful, fresh girl that I had known for so long. My cousin turned out to become a wonderful, sexy girl and I couldn't stop myself from caressing her as we lay down on the grass, looking up to the light morning sky. The stars were fading and the moon had set.
"Let's get some sleep," Jasper suggested.
"Want to sleep in our bed, with us?" I asked Marisa and she smiled as a happy kid being accepted as a friend.
We walked arm in arm towards the villa and picked up our clothes. When we entered the kitchen, we froze as mom was standing behind the sink, warming water for tea. She smiled lovingly at us but I recognised a troubled mind as well.
"I hope you know what you're doing," she said softly and we knew what she meant.
"Whatever it is, stay honest with each other and remember to think about the neighbours so as not to disturb them in the middle of the night."
- COMMENTS
sailorsixover 5 years agoAuthorPoint taken. No excuse there.
(Though the story was read and edited by someone else.)
Thanks for taking the time to comment!
Sailorsix
Anonymousover 5 years agoYou write in a fabulously erotic manner.
Never mind any linguistic errors -- as a non-English native speaker myself, I'm still impressed. But I can understand and accept that for native speakers lots of errors and deviances distract from the erotic flow, The most important factors, though, is content and style -- and there you excel.
However, you regrettably manage to put into your stories also some content errors like in this one:
"A child that had blossomed into a stunning, tall young girl of nineteen years old, four years between me and her and five years between her and Jasper." AND
"He hadn't protested when I, as his older and responsible sister, had suggested that I would drive us home."
Contrary to linguistic errors that just tells us something about the skill level of the author, (and may be irritating), such content errors are of a more fundamental character because they threaten the credibility of the story. A good author, like yourself, has the ability to make the reader live into the story -- to some extent the story becomes REAL to the reader -- it feels like it is happening -- or at least like it could be or have been happening to the reader. Encountering content errors, though, such reader's illusion gets broken -- you are as a reader reminded that the story is not real, it's made up, FAKE,
So, have somebody else --even if they're not jn command of perfect English -- read through stories before posting..
JJMemaw0623over 5 years agoI meant to give you 5 *'s, but my fat finger pushed the wrong damn button! I loved this story. Please keep writing, I plan on following your stories!!
Anonymousabout 7 years agoYou paint such lovely pictures with words, and from the female perspective, too. We are swept up and carried along in the loving scene you've created. Please keep writing!
prop69about 7 years agoI have read all 4, now 5. Please continue. Would love to see follow up chapters
sailorsixabout 7 years agoAuthorThanks for the comments and the point about the grammar/editing is accurate. Publishing the stories has helped - a few people volunteered to help with the grammar/editing, based on reading the stories. This is great and I welcome it! In contrast - a post asking the same in the Editor Forum or trying to contact a VE did not result in a positive contact (bare 1). So - to be continued and I hope it will result in a better reader-experience. Gr.Sailorsix
Anonymousabout 7 years ago.... the content and creativity of the work is exceptional. You presentation of the ambiance of scene, the flow of the events, the power of the writing was highly enjoyable. The reader can do self editing during the reading but cannot create. If the story has silly characters, no detail or an unrealistic plot, then perfect grammar won't save it. I don't know if this is a one-off or additional chapters are planned I will gladly read them! 5* for my vote.
Anonymousabout 7 years agoThe story line for this series is likeable but your spelling and grammar are really quite poor and sentence construction is execrable in many paragraphs.
If you don't want to use an editor, at least read through what you have written and try to see it from a reader's perspective. You will discover more of your errors which will make our enjoyment of your story so much greater.
