Onslaught

Jennifer was wrong. The house being community property would be split, not given to her since we no longer had minor children living at home. One of us would have to buy the other out or we would sell it and split the proceeds. He said that with Jennifer's salary I probably wouldn't have to pay alimony. He even went as far as to say I definitely wouldn't have to pay if I could prove infidelity. The worst case scenario was that I would get only 50% of the shared assets. The best case was 70%. After I played them the recording of the night before he leaned towards the high end as he said that parts of the discussion was very close to blackmail on her part.

Apart from when I needed to make a call I kept my cell off. Every time I turned it on the number of missed calls and messages from Jennifer had grown. I neither read nor returned any of them.

My third task was to ring the three other parties I wanted to get involved. It took six phone calls to arrange a time for us all to get together the next day, albeit one of them via skype. I asked them not to contact Jennifer before the meeting. I clammed up when they pumped me for information on what this was all about.

Fourthly, I rang and spoke to my doctor's receptionist. She suggested I ring back at 12.30PM which I did. I started to explain what I wanted but he suggested I come in to see him at the end of the day. I did and we spoke for over an hour.

My fifth job for the day was the hardest. I rang Petra's husband John and arranged to meet him at a bar after he finished work. He agreed.

As he walked towards me I could see the look of confusion on his face. To cut a long story short I explained that it was a very personal matter I wanted to talk about and invited him to walk out whenever he felt uncomfortable. I then briefed him on Jennifer's ultimatum of the previous night and told him I had been led to believe he was in the same boat. To his credit he didn't walk out but immediately took on the look of a beaten and broken man. It took him two neat whiskies before he could open up. He explained that far from being 'on board' with it, he "fucking hated it". If I'd been inclined to disbelieve him, the passion of that statement would have convinced me. He explained that he had only come back as he had two teenage kids at home and made the sacrifice for their sake. The other reason was that he couldn't afford to give Petra the house, child support, alimony and the bulk of their savings. He said no when I asked him if he had taken legal advice, he had taken Petra's word for it. I briefed him on what my lawyer told me. His situation was different in that he had kids still at home.

I asked him about what Petra allegedly said about their sex life improving since she had taken a lover. He almost choked on his drink. When he stopped coughing he explained that in the seven months since his life had turned to shit he might possibly have had sex with Petra three or at the most four times. Every time, he had been drunk. As a thank you I rang my solicitor and arranged to pay him to advise John. John jumped at the chance. I also asked him to do me one last favour, he reluctantly agreed. I told him I would call when the time was right.

I had regained my respect for this broken man. The sacrifice he was making for his children was sad but understandable.

I briefly wondered at the gulf that separated Petra and John's versions of their new sex life. Was Petra deluding herself or was she maliciously misrepresenting the facts to Jen?

After a long and emotionally draining day I went back to the motel, flopped on the bed and read through the texts from Jennifer followed by listening to her voice messages. I typed a simple message back to her, 'Please contact me only when you have decided to stop this silliness.' I heard nothing back that night.

After another night with six hours of broken sleep I was parked just down the road from my house when Jennifer drove off to work. I let myself in and quickly downloaded all four recorders. Back at the motel I started with the phone taps first. The bedroom one was blank, not so the kitchen phone.

The first call was as soon as she had got home on the Monday from work. It was to Petra as I expected. Jennifer described her confrontation with me and related that she had no idea what I was thinking as I was generally expressionless. The seriousness of my words and actions had got through to her however and she was thinking of calling the whole thing off. I couldn't believe what a bitch Petra was. She called Jen all kinds of weakling and by the end of the conversation had convinced her back on track.

The second call was to Joan who encouraged her to hang in there for the sake of the best sex she would ever get in her life. In both phone calls there was much talk of sex but absolutely none on being made to feel young and nubile again. Taken together I found the calls disturbing.

The only thing of note on the voice recorder in the kitchen was the sound of sobbing from Jen after the final call. It tore my heart but I pushed sympathy into the background.

At 10.45AM Tuesday the first of my visitors arrived, Father Wayne, our parish priest. He was shortly followed by Lorraine, Jen's mother. I offered them refreshments while waiting for 11AM. I avoided answering their questions of why they were here. At 10.59 I dialled into skype on my laptop and turned the screen so everyone could see Laura, my daughter, on the screen from her room at school.

After everyone exchanged pleasantries, Laura asked me what this was all about. In reply I hit play on the voice recorder file on my laptop. It was set to start at the second conversation when I asked Jennifer to confirm what I thought she had said that horrible evening. The playback ended when I had turned the recorder off while I went to pack. That was just after Jennifer had confirmed she had two possible suitors lined up. As the recording revealed the depth of Jennifer's plotting I could see everyone's faces take on the rictus of utter disbelief. No one interrupted until the recording finished then utter bedlam broke out. I listened, recognising my feelings from Sunday.

After everyone was played out I explained that I had done everything I could, except forbidding Jennifer to go through with it. I then explained why I had stopped short of saying that. This had to be a voluntary decision by Jen, not one forced on her. After I finished speaking, it was plain to all that the end of my marriage was one step away. I then explained what I intended to do next. They all agreed that the only hope was in getting Jenny to stop of her own accord and agreed my plan was the best way forwards.

Lorraine and I had never been particularly close so I was surprised by the depth of her feelings. When I looked in her eyes and saw the embarrassment as well as anger, I could tell as a mother, she felt some responsibility for this mess.

What's that old saying? 'Your son is your son till he takes a wife. Your daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life.'

I explained my plan again and we worked out a rough timetable. Tomorrow was show time. Before they left I also requested again that they not threaten Jennifer in any way. She had to do the right thing because she knew it was right, not because she was afraid of consequences.

That night I got the best sleep of the week so far. I had a plan and I was almost confident in it. There were no calls or texts from Jennifer.

I knew that Wednesday was Jen's day off and she normally slept in until at least 9AM. At 8.30 I called Laura and gave her the go, reminding her of the rules. It was clear her anger had not dissipated overnight.

Chapter 2 Judgement Day 8.34AM-9.05AM

The following narrative I have cobbled together from memories of the conversations I had that day, deductions and things I downloaded off the recorders I installed after I left home. I finally got to listen to them two days after Jenny was taken to the hospital. One of my habits I am eternally grateful for is that I revert to a compulsive note taker when I am under stress.

Wednesday 8.34AM. Jenny picks up a ringing telephone. "Hello, Jenny speaking."

"Mum, it's me."

"Oh hello Laura, it's not like you to call midweek, is everything OK sweetie?"

"No, everything is not fucking all right mum. What's this fucking bullshit about you wanting to sleep around on dad?"

There followed an audible gasp from the home end of the phone then many, many seconds of silence.

"Mum are you there, did you hear me?"

More silence then. "Who...who told you that? Oh my god, did you speak to your dad? What did he say? I...I never said that. We were just talking about a bit of variety in our sex life and well I may have mentioned the possibility of having an open marriage, you know, if we both agreed with..."

"Bullshit mum. The way I heard the story was that you made a stupid, unilateral decision to go out this weekend and fuck some man slut whether Dad liked it or not. Poor old dad is devastated. I mean what has the poor prick done to deserve that? Did you catch him screwing around on you or something?"

I could hear my daughter getting angrier and angrier. I could almost see the spittle flying over her end of the phone. Jenny tried to regain the initiative. No chance. Every successful battle strategist in history has known that whoever has the high ground wins. Laura had the moral high ground whilst Jennifer subconsciously knew she was in the moral quagmire at the bottom of the hill. She desperately needed time to think.

"Laura, sweetie, can I call you back in a little while?"

"No you fucking can't mum. We are going to have this out right now. I'm scared mum. When I have kids I want to be able to bring them over and see both of you. I want to see Dad bouncing my little boy on his knee, like he did with me, while you hold my little girl and sing to her as you did me. What you are talking about will fuck all that. Mum how could you?"

There then followed a full five minutes of what I can only describe as a tirade as my sweet daughter lambasted her mother. I could only hear gasps and sobs from Jen's end of the phone. I could only imagine Jennifer's emotional turmoil as she heard her loving daughter talk to her with obvious venomous hatred. Surely now with both Laura and I expressing our disapproval she would give up her plan. But she didn't have time to think and I know from experience that quick thinking in a crisis isn't one of her strong points.

When Laura paused for breath, Jenny rallied.

"But sweetie, it wasn't like that, I never..."

"Come on mum, don't add lying to your list of crimes. Dad convinced me that that was exactly what you were planning. He also told me that he'd told you in no uncertain terms that he didn't want you to do this but you spat in his face and he said you'd refused to listen."

Jennifer interrupted with sudden confidence.

"Laura, I don't know what your Dad said to you exactly but I can tell you that at no point did he tell me I couldn't go ahead with this..."

Laura again cut in. "Of course he didn't you stupid cow! He knows that as an equal partner in your marriage, he doesn't have the right to tell you what to do. He can only give you enough rope to hang yourself."

"What exactly does that mean Laura?"

It was Laura's turn to pause.

"Look mum, there are three ways I can see this going. One, you can have another conversation with Dad and try to see if you can get him to go along with this dumb idea. I'll tell you now mum, there is no way he'll ever come on board with this one. Two, you can go ahead with your plan and see what happens. Before you do that though, think about what you are risking. Not only Dad's love but mine and Josh's as well, shit everyone in the world knows where that choice leads. The third choice is that you give up this stupid idea. Tell Dad it's a result of temporary insanity and all the bullshit is over. Then I suggest you grovel to get him back and pray he can forgive you."

"But he hasn't gone anywhere..."

"Crap mum. You've lost him. He's gone off to see whether you are going to go with option two or three. He's handed you the rope and is waiting to see what you do with it. If you take option three then you survive, maybe, and can step off the gallows. By choosing option two you are putting the rope around your own neck and pulling the lever to hang yourself...Surely mum, you're smart enough to see that."

I marvelled at the way Laura had regained her self-control. I had never felt prouder of her than at this moment. At the same time I was sad. Jennifer's actions had hardened our sweet innocent daughter.

Jennifer was reeling from all this. She had only factored in me. She had no reason yet to question the confidence she had in me allowing her to do this. She hadn't factored in Laura and Josh having an opinion or even ever finding out about this. She had to think. But there was no time. She then made her next strategic error. She tried to lie, not knowing that Laura held all the cards.

"Look sweetie, I really don't know what your Dad has told you but it wasn't like that at all."

And that was as far as she got. With a low growl Laura just launched into an increasingly angry diatribe. God the language that girl used. Embarrassment forbids me from repeating any of it. After many minutes of this she finally hung up. I could only imagine Jen's shock. I mean, who hangs up on their own mum.

The kitchen recorder logged Jen sobbing and frantically redialling but Laura wasn't picking up.

Laura followed the script and rang Lorraine for phase two. She rang me after hanging up and said she couldn't talk as she was too angry. I reminded her that Jenny had always been an exceptional mom and deserved her respect and love.

Chapter 3 Judgement Day 9.07AM-9.31AM

I had put much thought into the timing of the second and subsequent phone calls. The reason for Laura ringing Lorraine before me was to minimise any thinking and processing Jennifer could do between calls.

She knew I wasn't following her script or should do if she wasn't totally insane. It was possible she could rationalise both myself and her daughter being disapproving, if given time to think. The third opinion, with no processing, should tip the scales.

I was flying blind a little as I still couldn't for the life of me think why she would ever believe we would survive her plan. Didn't she know me at all? I truly believe there was some temporary insanity at work there. Unfortunately the tight time frame before Friday didn't allow time to convince her of that or try to force treatment. The sufferers of mental illness are always the last to accept they have a problem.

Braaap, Braaap.

Braaap, Braaap.

"Hello Jenny speaking."

"Hello Jenny, it's mum."

"Oh hi mum, I'm a little busy right now can I ring you back?"

"No, we need to talk right now. What's the matter, you sound like you are crying?"

"Yes, yes I am. Laura just rang and said some very hurtful things."

"Yes and I know what you probably talked about. Dave spoke to me as well."

"Nooooo..."

"Yes Jenny. Jenny, how could you?"

She let that hang there and waited for Jennifer to try and get herself under control.

"Look mum, I really don't think it has anything to do with you. It's between me and Dave..."

"It has everything to do with me. Don't you see that whatever a daughter does, no matter how old she is, reflects on the mother? I've always respected Dave as a good provider to you and a great father to the kids. You know your Dad loved him. I'm glad he's not around anymore to see this, god rest his soul. He must be turning in his grave to see how stupid his daughter is behaving."

"Just what has Dave done to deserve what you intend doing to him, no, what you have done to him?"

Despite the poisonous nature of Lorraine's words, I couldn't help but admire the calm way she was speaking. I thought the calm delivery was much more effective than Laura's previous angry one-sided conversation of before.

Jenny's sobbing was becoming louder in the background. Lorraine, with the patience of a Cobra, was obviously letting Jenny set the pace.

Finally Jenny calmed down enough to be coherent.

"Look mum, I don't know what Dave has told you but I haven't done anything to him. I simply told him that I was a little bored with our sex life and asked him if he would consider letting me experiment a little with another man."

I paused the recording at this point for some thinking time. In all the years I had known my wife, I had never caught her out in a direct lie. She was the most honest person I know by far. What she just told her mother was in direct conflict with what I had on my voice recording. She didn't sound like she was lying and if I hadn't known better I'd have believed her. This demonstrated to me what I already suspected. Jenny was deluding herself. She had retreated into a false world, probably in self-protection. She sounded so convincing as she firmly believed her new version of our conversation of Sunday night. This meant she was subconsciously starting to see the depth of the hole she had dug for herself.

I re-started the recording. Lorraine had interrupted Jennifer. She must be seething that her own daughter would lie to her. I made a note to myself to talk to both Lorraine and Laura about delusions. If Jenny was ever to get out of the hospital, she would need the love and forgiveness of both of them.

"Listen honey, I know that is a total crock. I know exactly what you told Dave. I know you didn't give him a choice and just told him you were going to screw around on him. I also know how devastated he is about it all."

Jenny started to break in but Lorraine just ran roughshod right over her.

"Just think for a moment Jen. How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot? What if Dave had sat you down and announced he was going to screw around on Friday night whether you liked it or not huh? Would you be OK with that?"

"No Dave would never do something like that, he loves me too much..."

Jennifer lapsed into fresh sobbing. For a moment I thought her delusion had cracked right open but she rallied.

"Mum, it really wasn't like that."

"All right Jen, I'm really getting a bit sick of your bullshit. Where did this crappy idea come from anyway? You've never made me think you weren't anything but totally happy with Dave?"

Jennifer stopped sobbing. She felt on firmer ground here.

"Well, you know my friend Petra? She and her husband have an open relationship and she says it has really improved her marriage. She says her sex life with her husband has never been better and it has really brought them closer together. I just want Dave to consider doing the same thing."

Again her voice trailed off. Her subconscious mind and her delusions were fighting for supremacy. This allowed Lorraine to break in again gently.

"Is this the same Petra that was first married at 18 and by 28 was divorced from her second husband? Is this the same Petra that lost custody of her kids from her first marriage? The same one whose estranged kids won't even have anything to do with?"

Jennifer didn't answer any of these questions. The implications of what Lorraine was saying had all the subtlety of a rampaging bull elephant who had just snorted some bad crack.

In a voice that was so calm it was icy cold, Lorraine continued.

"Tell me Jen, was it Petra who suggested you threaten Dave with a divorce that would ruin him if he didn't go along with your little game?"

This time the combination sob/gasp from Jen could only be called explosive.

"No mum, I never..."

"Listen Jenny, I can't handle any more of your lies. I can't tell you how much they hurt me. All I will say is that if you do this slutty thing then you will lose me as well as your husband. You've probably already blown your marriage. You may have a chance if you crawl a mile over broken glass and beg him to forgive you but I have my doubts."