Opening Arguments

"I should fucking think so too. Cheerleader outfits?" Sam asked, suddenly picturing Debra's smoking body in a skimpy cheerleader suit, before realizing he should stick to helping Jesse. "It sound great, but how does it make the betrayal go away"?

"It doesn't. It can't. The hurt man; oh, damn, the hurt. You start questioning all sorts of things. How you are as a man, what she really thinks about, if this other guy had a big dick, if he was better in the sack than you are. It's fucking demoralizing and soul-destroying pal. I hope you never have to go there."

"Yeah," was all Sam could think of to say. Both took a drink, deep in thought, imagining bad and worse situations. Then Sam suddenly had a thought.

"So, me telling you this, this has got to be the end, right? I mean, she's doing it again. You can't stand for that, right?"

"Weeeeelllll... there's more to the story buddy."

"Seriously? What? How? I mean, Jesse, you know – fool me once, fool me twice – you know how it goes" exclaimed Sam, the drink on it's way to his mouth forgotten.

"Yeah," sighed Jesse.

"So, long story short, I got convinced." Jesse just simply shrugged. "Maybe I was a sucker. I dunno. I love that woman, and she loves me. She's way harder on herself for what she did than I was. She'd do things like give me the passwords to all her email and her phone, for texts. She'd download her gps location history, annotated with where she was and why. She couldn't even cum with me any more, not because I wasn't any good, but because her shame and guilt wouldn't let her. We did get over that one, by the way."

Sam just stared at Jesse. This was too much information, but still not enough. He didn't care if Debra came while Jesse fucked her; he cared that Jesse stayed while Debra fucked him over. He asked the question without speaking words. His eyes did it for him.

"Yeah, I know. I know dude. Believe me, I ranted and raged. And she cringed and kept apologizing. Telling me it wasn't anything to do with me, all that shit. All the usual shit you get, when someone is caught. I think 50% of it was genuine and 50% of it was how much she regretted getting caught. That changes over time though, once she got an idea of how it felt. I'll get to that though.

"And then... well, we'd been stable for about four months when she approached me. Here's the thing Sam. We'd not really talked all that much about what she'd been doing with this golf pro – Angel Santino, his name was. Angel. What a fucking joke. More like the devil to me. Anyway, she just started talking one night. We'd both had a bottle of wine each, and it just started coming out of her. She'd been caught up with the whole 'new cock' thing. That's how she described it. The flush you get when you meet someone else who is into you. They even have a phrase for it in LA. NRE. New Relationship Excitement. Can you imagine, Sam. I thought we could do a campaign for it or something. Any way, she told me that the NRE for her wasn't so much the whole falling in love thing, more the exploration of a new sexual partner. What they like, what they don't like, what they can teach you, what you can teach them. She said it was like having two lives. She kept stressing that it was nothing about me. Nothing to do with our life together. That it was totally separate.

"She was just interested in the experience. There was no longevity to it. She said she'd been surprised when she embarked on the affair, how she had such zero emotional investment in it. It had fed her ego, she'd been interested and enjoyed it, but there was no question of leaving me, or rubbing my face in it or whatever bullshit she used to justify it to herself. I was there, I'd always be there, her number #1 guy. She never denied me anything, would never be some place else when I needed her, it was all done on a whim and never planned, so there was no way anyone else would ever or could ever be a priority to her.

Jesse stopped, and looked at Sam's face. "Yeah, I know. It all sounds like justification bullshit. But stop for a second. Think. What if it were true?"

"What?", asked Sam. "Jesse, you know better. That is just such bullshit. It's like no cliché left behind."

"No," said Jesse, "I mean think about it. What if it were true? What if shecando this and be emotionally distant from it? What if it iswhat she calls it, 'an extreme game of volley ball, where both sides win, and that's all the attachment there is'? What id the clichés are true? I mean things don't become clichés by accident "

"You're her husband. You aren't supposed to be her #1 man, you are supposed to be her only man. I don't see how those clichés can be true".

"No, I couldn't either. Took me a long time to think about that and even more time to come to any conclusions. But the thing is, Sam, Iknowher. I know when she's lying – well, mostly -, when she believes what she is saying. IknowI am her top priority. Iknowshe will always be leaving a party with me."

"Right up til she doesn't. She's not exactly earned much capital respecting those kinds of rules, has she?

Jesse took a sip of his drink and said, "Sam, would Janelle ever leave a party with someone else?"

"Of course not," Sam snorted derisively, "and I wouldn't let it happen if she wanted to."

"So, if youknowJanelle wouldn't, why can't IknowDebra won't?"

"Because Janelle hasn't already been sleeping with someone else behind my back. ComeonJesse, you can't seriously be buying into this crap? "

Jesse grinned and raised his glass to Sam to show there were no hard feelings about what he'd just said.

"Fair comment Sam. Fair comment. But, I doknowabout that now. I know what she did, why she did it, and how to protect against it. If it's a part of her, and she said it was a hugely exciting thing, what does it hurt me to let her have it again? In very controlled circumstances?"

Sam just stopped drinking and stared at Jesse in horror, the understanding of what he was saying slowly dawning.

"Are you saying.... You let her... do this?"

Jesse shrugged again, with a rueful smile on his face.

"Look, as you already said, she's done it now. She might do it again, she might not. But if I'm aware, ifIallow it – under very controlled circumstances, obviously, - she has nothing to fear and everything to gain by keeping her word. She wants to be married to me, have me as her priority... It's not like there aren't processes in place to ensure that it's controlled. Rules, and so on."

Sam, despite himself, was fascinated.

"Rules? You mean like "forsaking all others? Isn't that a rule?"

"Yeah. No. I mean, yes she did break that vow. I know it. She knows it. But what I am talking about is rules we agreed to after that. To make sure its playing ,not cheating. I mean, first we have post-nup that she signed, where if she cheats, or does anything sexual – or even emotional - withanyonewithout my express approval first, she's out the door with only the clothes on her back. That was non negotiable."

Sam nodded at this, still not buying into this nonsense but at least acknowledging to himself that the post-nup was a good thing..

"I get to decide if and when she plays, and get to approve the guy. If I say no, it doesn't happen. I've said no a couple of times just to see and she acquiesces without issue every time. She can't go out and flirt anywhere people we'd know might see her. It has to be discrete, which is why I'm pissed now. I mean, she was at a place where I think it's reasonable not to expect to see family friends, but still – she did. We'll be having words on that front. She's going to be grounded for a few months, I can tell you. The post-nup I mentioned? Only she had to sign that. I didn't. She wasn't wildly thrilled about that, but fuck that. She had the affair, not me. She's the one who needs to sign it, I don't. She wants to stick around, she had to put her John Hancock there."

"It's condoms all the way, no swallowing and no playing with any married guys,

unless his wife knows and approves. No one more than four times – so no chance of any long term relationship developing. No threesomes or, sub/dom games and the people she plays with have to have respect for her. You know, none of this pissing on people or anything like that. No marks and she can never stay overnight – no visits more than three or four hours, no weekends or time away with someone else or anything like that. Never more than once in a month, either. And Ialwayshave to know who she is with and where she is. She usually sends me a text with a picture of the guys drivers license, just to be sure. Assuming I even let it get that far. The power is in my hands here."

Sam was horrified and fascinated at the same time. Did this shit really happen to real people? To his best friend? Really?

"And I get to play too, if I want to. And I don't have to ask her either. She needs the permission because she strayed and I stayed true. To be honest, I've only done it a couple of times on my own, and the first time, I made her find me a woman and convince her to party with me. She didn't like that one iota, but she had to feel what it felt like. You know?

Sam sort of did and nodded, involuntarily.

"I didn't make her watch, but she was down stairs when I was upstairs, if you know what I mean. She was extremely unhappy about that, but she had to know what it felt like, even if it wasn't the same. At that point she did stop and think more about what she'd done and what we were doing now. I think she understood the rules a lot better after that. She had followed them, but now she knew why I needed them."

Jesse took another drink, then looked at Sam earnestly.

"So, now you know. I let my wife play on the odd occasion, and I do myself, on the very odd occasion. I suspect this little nugget will have change the way you look at me, so we should probably get that out of the way. I can see right now, you are disappointed in me."

Sam sighed. He didn't knowwhatto say. Well, he did, but he had no idea how to broach it. Thinking furiously, he took another long draft of his beer.

"Well, I can't say I'm not surprised. I mean, this is a bombshell. I thought you were happily married..."

Jesse broke in, saying, "We stillarehappily married Sam. That's what is the most important take away. Sure, we came to this the hard way, and there was – and still is, if I'm honest – a lot of hurt along the way, but now we are here. She's mine – I know she's mine, and she's done everything she can think of to make sure I think that. The bottom line is, so far, this works for us."

Sam rolled his lips inside his mouth, against his teeth, staring at his glass and trying to figure out what to say.

"Ok,. I don't really buy it, but lets move on from that. I don't get how you are ok with this. I mean, she's busily giving to others what should only be yours. How do you get past that? Surely this is something that should only be between you? I'm struggling here Jesse. I'm not sure I can get behind this."

"Well, yeah, and her betrayal was pretty fucking nasty, no question. But the question is how do we go forward. Maybe we both learned something from the cheating and turned it into something that works. The reality of the marriage vows is to protect the marriage, the relationship. If the relationship is sound and built well, then vows like this that don't make that much sense in the first place. Our relationship was more sound than we thought. Or less, depending on your point of view. After all, she did cheat. But it wasn't in a situation where she was looking for an out. She was looking for more 'on top'of that relationship."

"I can't process that, Jesse. I mean, I don't see it that way. Agoodrelationship is one where you don'tneedto go outside it for stuff like sex or whatever. The whole point is that you satisfy each other. You don't need anyone else, because the one you want is already there. And vice versa. To me, that's the definition of a fuckin' good marriage."

"Yeah, that looks great on the inside of a Birthday Card Sam, but the reality is different for some people. You know, one size doesn't fit all. I mean, you are here with me, right? We are talking and we have a relationship that is different from the one with your wife? When you and I talk about hunting, about boozing, about technology and all sorts of shit that bores the shit out of Janelle, that's not cheating one her. So you get different things out of different relationships. You can't have ONE relationship that satisfies EVERY need you will ever have. It doesn't happen. Itcan'thappen, because women are women and have different needs and priorities from men.

"This is kind of an extension of that. Sure, it's different when sex is involved, but the basis is exactly the same. It's easy to say 'I should never need to look externally for this kind of thing' and that's fine, and in some relationships, it is true. But why does EVERY relationship have to be that way? What if youcanlook externally for some excitement? And it doesn't put the main relationship in jeopardy? Look, the whole point of having vows to stop this is to avoid temptation, to avoid putting yourself in a situation where love might blossom where it shouldn't, right? To prolong the length of the relationship. If you can get to the same place in a different way... what difference does it make?"

"The difference, Jesse, is thatit still can fail.Just saying it won't doesn't mean it actually won't. It's like putting a bowl of milk in front of a cat and expecting it to not take a drink. She's already broke the rules once, what's to stop her doing the same again? How can you trust her when she says 'oh, its just physical, don't get worried' and then wanders off to some other guys bed?"

"Well", admitted Jesse "nothing really. Apart from the post-nup. And knowing I'll be gone the instant I find out, and Iwillfind out. I'm forewarned now. I'm looking for it now. She got away with it before because I totally trusted. I don't any more, at least not in that way – at least not for now. But mostly, because we've already been there, and she's already discovered that she doesn't want anyone else for a life partner. Just for a sex partner. For a couple of hours. I found the same. While it's exciting to be with someone new, do the whole dance and mating ritual, discover what they look like naked, I don't really want to wake up with someone different very much. I like what I've got. As the old saying goes, I've got steak at home, but once in a while, a big mac is kind of a nice change of pace. And I get to have both, with no repercussions."

Sam still wasn't having it.

"I still don't think this is everything you say it is, Jesse. The bottom line here is that the woman cheated, and in response, you've thrown open them barn doors and now she's free to fuck anyone she wants. Guilt free. That doesn't seem like a smart reward for cheating? Besides, she came and wanted this only four months after she got busted. Red-fucking-flag. I respect you, and your smarts, but if it were this easy, more people would be doing this than they are. Society wouldn't be so down on it. I wouldn't be sittin' here wonder what iswrongwith you."

"Well, I can't speak for society, Sam, but it seems to me that a lot of society also thinks that all gay men are HIV positive, all black people are lazy and Christianity is the one true religion. I don't think society has all the answers here. I think personal intimate long-term relationships are far more complicated than a few vows at a service, and infinitely more complex than the surface rules society puts on what they need to be seen to be in public. I mean, we live in a society that promotes Catholic Priests – men who have no experience with women, marriage or long-term intimate relationships whatsoever, no training at all in this area, people who've dedicated their lives to an invisible all seeing friend in the sky, who never actually shows himself or does a damn thing to prove he exists - and deems them the people you should go talk to when you have marital difficulties. That hardly seems like society has its act together when it comes to making the rules.

"The reality is, my relationship with my wife, and hers with me, is whatever we deem it to be. Not what society and popular culture has decided it should be. As long as we agree on the rules, and we don't hurt anyone else with what we decide, I could really give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks. If it works for us, who is society to judge that?"

"Yeah, I get that. Unconventional relationships aren't bad necessarily, but lets be honest Jesse, you arrived at yours through cheating. That can hardly be the greatest of foundations to build an all-new relationship on. Let alone one as risky as this. And, I am not saying what anybody should or shouldn't do. I am just worried about you. I think you are playing with fire, Jesse. I don't want to see you get burned."

"Well, yes, that's a fair comment. You aren't wrong. But the thing is Sam, without this new situation, I don't know that there would be any relationship. It might well be that we are going through the motions, that we are doomed to fail. That she will find someone who excites her more than me. Or makes her cum in a way I don't. But.."

"But what about that, Jesse? Aren't you taking a massive risk on that? I mean, what if that doeshappen."

Jesse took a long sip of his beer, and drained the glass.

"I think you really believewhenthat happens, Sam? Another beer? You look like you could use it."

"Sure, yeah. My round though, isn't it?"

"Don't worry about it. It'll give you time to call Janelle and give her some tidbits, won't it?"

Sam had the grace to look guilty, then pulled out his phone, put in on the far end of the table, and made a pantomime of sitting on his hands.

"Seriously though Jesse, this is... momentous stuff. I don't know how you can be so fuckin' casual about it."

"I'm not casual about it at all Sam. I'm just...well part of me is laying this out there for you as a way to ensure I've got it all straight in my head, you know? Ithink–I hope- I know what I'm doing, that I've thought it through, but if I can respond to you, then I know I have. Ya dig?" Jesse smiled with the last statement, and then gathered up the empty pint glasses and strolled off to the bar.

Sam sat there, thinking intently about the revelations so far. So many conflicting thoughts rushed around his head, and he desperately tried to make mental notes about them, in order to raise them with Jesse.

It was so obvious to Sam that this experiment Jesse had embarked on was doomed to failure. It was obvious to him that Jesse hadn't really gotten over the affair, and was doing anything he could to keep her around, up to and including letting her fuck other guys. His close friend was a cuckold, and was accepting of this, and as his friend, he couldn't let this stand. Samhadto see that, hehadto make his friend see it.

Jesse was at the bar, waiting for a refill on the beers, and his thoughts were on how to make Sam see that he'd considered the all angles here. That he'd thought long and hard about this, how he and Debra had discussed her – and him - having occasional other partners. How they had plans in place to keep their intimate relationship intimate with just each other. That while technically he had been cuckolded, so had she. That this was a choice that both had made and so far, it was working out. She had her old smile back, all the time, and how much she worked to make him happy – more than ever. And that wasn't just guilt, it was done out of love. Of gratitude that he allowed her this freedom and his trust in her that it wouldn't undo them; that she would remember who her chosen husband was, and similarly, that he would do the same.