Opening Up Letting Go Ch. 01-02

***This is an edited version that was published 4/15/10. Story is the same just clean and tidy grammatically, and I think, a better opening.

***Thank you "tootallday" for your editing help and fun discussion on word usage. Sometimes, it's better to learn to be correct, rather than just be corrected. But other times... just change the damn letter!

This is a story about a husband and a wife, who, after having spent years in a mediocre and at times distant marriage, have worked to become a good marriage. But now, the husband wants a great marriage. It is, essentially, a love story that doesn't fit into the romance category. The first three chapters were placed here because there is a little light bondage and some other fun activities.

Chapter 1

Good was Fine Great is Better

I thought a blow job would be the right way for Tina to apologize. Then I thought about how much I like my balls and how much I would miss them should I make the suggestion that she apologize by getting on her knees. Then, finally, blessedly, I thought; I don't give a damn!

"Jack, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I forgot." My wife for the past twenty-two years looked at me with her mouth agape and her hand on her brow looking contrite. "Maybe you could just wear your olive wool suit?"

I stood there looking at her and my irritation dissolved into a sly grin as a recurring image appeared in my mind.

"What the fuck?" I mumbled more to myself as I grabbed hold of the images, trying to make them be still. I mentally pictured my wife tied up, wearing an outfit that revealed more than it concealed, submissive to my desires. In this fantasy I ordered her around like a chest beating, knuckle dragging, Neanderthal. In this fantasy, my wife's zeal and passion were channeled into pleasing me and not into pursuing social justice or equal rights.

I'd wisely chosen to keep this fantasy and its companion images to myself for the past twenty some odd years. I was not pussy whipped; well not today I wasn't. Back when we were first married I was, but I didn't know it. I thought I was being supportive and enlightened. Back then there was a lot I didn't know.

Tina had been twenty to my twenty-five at the time; we worked together at a restaurant. She was finishing her undergrad and I was still trying to get my MBA. She was the life of the party, the belle of the ball, the untouchable social butterfly who was way out of my league. I was wickedly attracted to her, like every other man, boy and beast who laid eyes on her. I was dependable, predictable, methodical and mellow; I didn't have a prayer.

I had been incredibly lucky because she literally fell into my bed one night. She and some friends had been barhopping. They ran into my roommate who invited them back to our apartment to continue the fun. I was sound asleep when they not so quietly turned on the music. Then I heard my roommate loudly whisper about the vodka I kept in my bedroom. Next thing I knew my door was opened, someone stumbled into my room and then fell into my bed. That someone was Tina and as Tina turned to see who she was laying on top of, I yawned and asked her if they'd been having fun. Realizing it was boring, nonthreatening me, she began to tell me about the evening. Something had upset her and she began to cry. Thinking it was just the booze in her talking, I put my arms around her. The next thing I knew I was kissing her and she was kissing back.

She said something and once again I assumed it was just the booze talking; "Don't hurt me." I chuckled and assured her of course I wouldn't. It never occurred to me she might have been a virgin. Good thing she wasn't; I wouldn't have known what to do as my experience had been rather limited to a few times with a high school girl friend and my right hand. I ran my hands along her body and contented myself with just exploring and getting to know her. I didn't want this night to be the first and last night with her. I had held myself in check.

The next morning I sat on my bed with a breakfast tray. I brushed the hair out of her face and prayed that when she woke up she wouldn't regret last night. She opened her eyes and smiled at me! "You have a very comfortable bed." She yawned and stretched. "I can't remember the last time I slept so well. Oh, is that coffee?"

We dated for another six months before I had her back in my bed. I thought she was simply making damn sure I knew she wasn't a slut. We fell in love, got married and by the time Tina was twenty-five she had twin boys and a third on the way. Sex was something I had to beg for; she was always tired and worn out. We had argued, well not exactly. She had argued; I avoided. She had thrown things; I ducked. We kept busy raising the boys, keeping the house and I mostly gave up on sex. I had assumed that this was just what happened when you became a parent. What the hell did I know? Back then, not a damn thing.

I stood in our bedroom with a towel around my waist; the image of Tina tied up and eager to do my bidding was strong and urgent. I was going to create a living tableau of submission. I knew with inexplicable certainty she would acquiesce, relent, and allow me to lead her. I was going to crash though her gates and completely demolish those walls that surrounded and cocooned her.

"I'm really just too angry to talk to you about this now. Go take your shower while I calm down." Granted, over the last couple of years we had better and more frequent sex, but I wanted more from her and by God she was going to give it! It was time to push her and make the demands of a husband, a man.

I watched her head droop as she turned for the bathroom. Together we made a pair of fools. Here we stood; over twenty years of marriage, fourteen of which were mostly sexless, distinct dissatisfaction that lay on top of a blanket woven from her fear and my avoidance. My own complacency over the years had allowed the ongoing fortification of her walls.

A few years ago she had accused me of being indifferent. How she could interpret my wise decision to avoid her moods as being indifferent, I didn't understand. What was the difference between avoiding her issues and moods, and being indifferent to them? I knew she was hurting but didn't know what I was supposed to do about it. My fear of hurting her kept me avoiding her issues and her moods. My fear of harming her prevented me from demanding a fulfilling sex life. My fear of being insensitive to her kept me from forcing her to be more sensitive to me. I would avoid no more because sometimes you just have to say; what the fuck!

While she showered I went to my closet and pulled out about a dozen silk ties; finally weeding out my old ties and putting them to excellent use. I went to her jewelry box and pulled out the nipple clamps I had given her several years ago. She'd had no idea what they were and when I told her she looked at me like I had just punched her. Back then I hadn't been ready to plunge ahead, force the issue and demand what I wanted; what I knew she could give. I knew she had it in her, it was there, somewhere. I just had to pull it out of her. Today, I was ready to do just that.

I went to her lingerie drawer and found the "fuck me" outfit I had given her three years ago. I had seen her wear it only once. It was a black satin strapless corset that tied in the front with removable lace cups, black garters hung down both in front and in back. It cinched in at her waist and flared out at her hips, just covering her ass and pussy. A pair of black silk stockings with the seam down the back - loved them -- went with it. From the top of the closet I pulled down the box containing the black stiletto high heels and her outfit was now complete.

I then changed into a pair of silky sweat pants. I turned off the phone because I was not going to take the chance of being interrupted by her mother or one of our kids; the twins were away at college and our youngest one was still in school but gone for the weekend with friends. I went to our bathroom door just in time to hear her turning the water off.

"Turn the water back on, you're not done yet!" I gave her a continuation of my still exasperated look. She met it with a vacant expression telling me she was ready to hear she forgot something else. "You still haven't shaved your snatch and tonight you will not forget." She slowly looked down at her crotch as if she'd be surprised to see hair there. "You have been saying you wanted to try it bald, I've been saying I would love to see you bald... Make it bald! All of it."

She turned around and turned the water back on and at that point I knew every image that had been playing in my head for twenty-some years I'd see tonight and tomorrow too. Our youngest son wouldn't be back till tomorrow night. When the water went off again I made her stand in the shower and lift a leg so I could inspect. God this was going to be fun!

Chapter 2

Hell Yeah

Even storm troopers needed to show some sensitivity. She would need reassurance. I grabbed a towel, wrapped her in it and then wrapped my arms around her. "Tonight, my lovely wife, you will follow all my instructions to the letter without hesitation." I tweaked her cheek and she looked up at me. "Tonight my silly wife, the only opinion you're allowed to have is to judge how well you have followed my instructions. Do you understand?"

She looked at me and arched an eyebrow. This new guy, the storm trooper who was ablaze with the power of righteous conviction, didn't intimidate so easily so I held her gaze firmly and arched my own eyebrow. Then she nodded and looked down. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding at this final submission. Permission granted, operation green lighted, trooper in position.

"I'm going downstairs to make myself a drink. You will prepare for a very special night with me. I have an outfit already picked out for you, waiting on the bed. Put it on exactly as I have it laid out with the shoes that are waiting next to it." I was almost out the bedroom door when I turned around for a final command. "Call my cell from your cell when you're ready to come downstairs." I shut the door firmly as I left. By the time I was getting ready for a second vodka martini my cell phone rang.

"Jack, I'm dressed... sort of... well not really dressed but I'm wearing what you picked out. I'm assuming there's more to this outfit if we're going out?" I curled my imaginary handle bar mustache and thought, "Excellent..."

"I'll be right up. When I come in the door I want you to be on your knees waiting to make a very pretty apology for being forgetful. By the way, would you like a martini too?"

"Well, I'd like a drink just not a martini and not just yet. I don't know where we're going tonight and you know I can't hold my booze." She looked up in surprise as the bedroom door opened, then she slammed shut her cell phone and quickly dropped to her knees. She was so easy to trick, I loved that about her.

"Someone has been a very bad girl today and that someone is going to be punished." She started to giggle which almost made me chuckle but somehow I remained stoic. "But before the spanking..." She caught her breath and looked at me in shock. "Remain focused, be the man," I repeated to myself. "...begins I'm rather stiff and will need you to work out the kinks." I walked over to her and pulled down my pants to free my cock. It was long enough but my cock was very thick and she had a hard time wrapping her mouth around it.

She looked up at me and the look I returned was a simple arched brow, a look of resolute confidence. I looked straight into her eyes as I grabbed my cock and teased her cheeks with it a few times.

"Open your mouth." I teased like she was a baby being coaxed to eat big-girl food. She complied, and then chased my cock as I continued to rub it around her cheeks and chin. Finally I allowed her to catch me so she could do her thing. She had always had a difficult time getting much of my cock in her mouth so she usually spent a great amount of time and energy licking. She licked the tip and around the head, swirling her tongue as she enveloped just the head in her mouth. Then she licked down my shaft to the base where she played with my pubes curling her fingers through the mass. She licked all around my base, getting it all wet so she could tamp down my unruly pubes and get them out of her way.

She had a very clever tongue which sort of made up for having a very narrow jaw. She swirled her tongue back up my shaft and sucked in my head again, licked around my rim then slurped her way back down and licked my balls, paying special attention to the scar from my vasectomy. She swore she could feel it throb and pulse when I came and she loved to feel that. And I loved to indulge her.

She sucked my nut into her mouth and swirled her tongue all around it. I just kept watching her and breathing in through the nose out through the mouth. I was getting damn close already.

She grabbed my cock with both hands and as she licked her way back up she used her hands to spread the saliva around, making my cock slippery. She began to pump my cock with her hands while she kept her mouth around my head, timing her vacuum sucking with the movement of her hands. Then she took a deep breath swallowed my cock, all of it! She just shoved her face all the way down my cock until her nose was bumped against my pubes and for the first time I was all the way down her throat. She held her face in place for a few seconds then came back up for air. I nearly came right there as I sucked in a lungful of air.

She looked up at me to make sure I was paying attention. I smiled at her and told her that she was a good girl. "But you're still getting spanked you know." She smiled around my cock then swallowed me again, holding for a few seconds. There was nothing in the world more erotic, more sexy or beautiful than seeing my woman smile at me while her mouth was stuffed with my cock. One day, I promised myself, I would get a picture of that.

Then she did something else she'd never done before, she grabbed my hands and placed them on either side of her face as she began to bob her head up and down my shaft. Fuck my face she was trying to say, or at least that was how I interpreted it. So I did. I got all of five to seven good pumps in, ramming my cock straight down her throat and let out a growl as I came harder than I think I'd ever come.

I had simply accepted the unspoken rule not to touch her face or head. She had some nasty shit happen to her when she was a girl and holding her head triggered deep fear followed by vicious anger I much preferred to avoid. Like I said earlier, I was rather fond of my balls.

She continued to suck on my cock, milking the last drops of cum from the tip. I stood there winded as if I'd just run the hundred yard dash. After a while I got my breathing under control and reached down to pull her up and off my sensitive cock. I looked at her and she was just breathtakingly beautiful at that moment. She was smiling at me and I could tell she was proud. "You take my breath away." I kissed her possessively. "I never thought you'd be okay with me holding your head. You look rather pleased with yourself."

She grinned and started jumping up and down. "I did it! I did it! I swallowed you, all of you! And then I got...brave I guess. I've always felt guilty about the way I reacted when you first tried to hold my head. And when I swallowed you I just realized if I could do that I could let you hold my head and it wouldn't... it wouldn't mean... it wouldn't be bad." She took a deep breath and shook her head a little. "But I did it! And you don't have any teeth marks!"

I grabbed the chair from the desk and placed its back against the bed, then sat down pulling her on my lap. I kissed her long and deep. She was breathing heavily when I pulled away. I smoothed her hair back from her face and pulled her chin toward me so I could look her in the eyes.

"That was incredible. I don't think I've ever told you how utterly beautiful you are when you smile at me with my cock in your mouth. It's a sight I can never get enough of. If I went blind tomorrow that would be the one image I'd hold dear in my head and heart. You are so brave and you've come so far..." I stopped there because what I planned for tonight was going to push her further than she might be ready for. I still had the power of that conviction giving epiphany and I was going to make it happen. She was going to accept tonight's games, get through it, enjoy it and even schedule a repeat performance. I needed her to understand that.

"But you are also a silly girl who is forgetful when it's important to remember and remembers when it would be best to forget." She tried to look away at the last part but I wouldn't let her. "I am your husband and I've never hurt you. Tonight, my lovely, you will be punished for being forgetful and you will take it." I rubbed her back with one hand and grazed her lips with the thumb of my other hand. My woman craves reassurance. "Stand up and move over to the closet." I spoke using a firm tone of voice but was still conversational, nothing demanding or threatening. "Good, now I want you to raise your arms above your head and place your palms touching each other. Spread your legs wide and stay like that."

I leaned back in the chair and just took her in. Her legs were killer, always had been and probably always would be. She had filled out a nice sized ass after having the boys. She was forty-five and soft in all the right places. She had incredibly sensitive breasts and could orgasm just from breast play. She had an unusually waspish waist for a woman her age. I honestly felt that she looked better now than when we first met. She was skinny back then, no figure really, but those legs... ahhh. And now she was standing in the pose I'd instructed her to maintain and I wanted to play with her for a little while.

I walked over to her and stood a hair width from touching her body. I spoke very deliberately; "I'm going to spank your soft, cushy ass for being forgetful. I haven't decided how many times or how hard or even what I'll use. Before I make that decision, and before I turn you over my knee, I want to play with these tits first." Her response was what I expected as I slowly reached up to her neck with my fingers and gently dragged them down on top of her breasts; she whispered a gasp. The lace covering her breasts would go soon enough. I cupped her breasts and snagged her nipples between my fingers. Then I splayed my fingers out wide and strummed them over her nipples. They became engorged and flared to life. I looked at her tits as I continued to stroke her nipples. I felt Tina arch her back and she brought her arms down to steady herself gripping my shoulders.

"No, see I told you to stand still and you're not. So I have something here that will help with your obedience." I reached into the closet and grabbed a few ties I had already tied together to extend their lengths. I tied her hands together around the wrists and then I looped the extra to the hook that hung over the door. It wouldn't hold all her weight but would work for this purpose. While doing this I purposely did not look into her eyes, if she was showing fear and I noticed it I wasn't sure I could push onward.

Now with her arms dutifully bound and out of my way I went back to playing with her tits. I kept my eyes on her tits and when she arched her back again I pulled the lace cups off the corset. No wardrobe malfunction here, it was made that way! I bent over and licked and sucked on her left nipple as my fingers squeezed, pinched and twisted her right nipple. She threw her head back and shoved her tits in my face breathing heavily.

"Good girl" I purred. "Now you keep your back arched and display those tits for me." I went back to sucking on her nipples, pulling them together so I could suck and nip at one while squeezing and pinching the other one. After trading nipples a few times she began humping air. I loved how she would lose control of her pelvis. Her hips would jerk themselves back and forth, up and down all on their own. I kept pinching and twisting and her hips just rocked back and forth, back and forth. I pulled one nipple out while twisting the other and her breath caught as her hip motion picked up the pace.