Orc Dominion: Zentara Afterward

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Thoughts and comments on the writing of this story.
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Part 14 of the 71 part series

Updated 01/20/2023
Created 01/31/2014
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Thank you all for sticking with the story all the way to the end. I hope you all enjoyed the story and found it a pleasure to read. I wanted to write this afterward to talk about my experience writing the story, what I was trying to do, what I learned, and to invite comments and criticisms from all the readers here.

I actually wrote this story over five months from 2012 to 2013. It is my ambition to write a mainstream fantasy novel one day, and I used this story as practice and to prove I could. I learned a lot while writing, both in what I did with the story and what I didn't do. There is plenty of room for improvement, which I may get around to one day.

The story is set up like a romance novel, which lead female and male characters, and then secondary characters that do not get as much attention. It wasn't deliberate to sideline the secondary characters, it just sort of happened as I was writing. With all the focus on Jeanette, and most of her time being spent with Turogg, the rest of the cast faded. In the future I will have to spend more time working on secondary characters. I think adding more points of view will help in this respect.

Initially, the story was going to be much darker, with Jeanette much more being blackmailed and not consenting or being as submissive. As I plotted the story, I felt this was too dark and would make the story somewhat inaccessible. What do you think? Would you rather have had a blackmailed princess or a complicit one? This is why the orgy scene at the wedding is a little darker, and probably why many people felt it was out of place.

Some people also thought the ending was a bit rushed. Certainly, the last chapter is the most poorly rated of them all. I am going to consider rewriting the chapter to fix some of these issues. Please feel free to leave any ideas or suggestions in the comments or through feedback. I will consider them, either for this story or for the next.

The reason I kept Jeanette as the sole point of view character was to keep an aura of mystery and Turogg, his intentions, and his association with Drake. I think this was the right choice for this story, but in the future I will work the stories to accommodate at least two, and maybe up to four, points of view.

Another thing I need to improve upon is descriptions. People, places, and things could all have gotten better descriptions to flesh out the scenes a little better. Other than Jeanette's dresses, this is something that is lacking. Additionally, in future works I want to play around with themes and motifs to foreshadow and provide a little deeper meaning.

I know all that sounds a little too sophisticated for an erotic story, but remember this is about teaching me to be a better writer!

One thing which I set out deliberately to do, and I hope I did a good job, was to build a convincing fantasy world. I think I did a god job on making believable countries, cultures, economies, and militaries. If you disagree, or see an area of improvement there, please leave a comment or email me! I made a deliberate decision not to include magic in the land and to make a more realistic environment. I do have ideas for adding magic to the world, but that is a long way off and I'm not sure I'll ever get there.

One of the comments I received was that I should have done more to make the orcs biologically distinct from humans, and to emphasize this in the sex scenes. This didn't occur to me until I was halfway through the story the first time, and I went back to try and shoehorn it in. I did another pass after I got that comment, but I didn't do as good a job as I would have if I had done it originally. In future stories, there might be more biological differences that appear to be a continuity error, but it's not. Just think of new Klingons versus old Klingons!

Another thing I tried to do is to make each character sound unique with his or her own voice. If you think I did or didn't accomplish that, please say something! Also, if you don't mind, leave a comment describing the personalities of some of the characters. I'm hoping how you perceive them is how I intended them to be.

One area where I think I dropped the ball was the battle scenes. I had a very difficult time making an exciting battle from Jeanette's point of view because she wasn't in the thick of it. In the future, I think I will experiment with writing a point of view from within to see if that makes it more interesting and exciting.

I know that the sex scenes were a little thin at the end. When I plotted out the story, I started to worry that there were too many of them, so I lightened the load towards the end. I hadn't initially intended to release the story episodically on Literotica so I didn't think about the problems this would have when some posted chapters would have little if any adult content.

Also, I worried about the scenes getting a little repetitive. I focused more on creating unique scenarios for Jeanette, and by the end when I was getting tired of writing so many graphic descriptions, I slacked off a little and left it at a more undeveloped scenario level. If that makes any sense.

I have planned out two more novels and one novella as part of the Orc Dominion series, but due to some real life changes I won't be able to properly right them for at least a year. In the meantime, I hope to release some short stories that will bridge the gap between the end of Zentara and the next novel. The short stories will all be told from a different point of view. So far I have story ideas for Susannah, Bodak, Cindy, an unnamed Thestan, and maybe Frederick.

I also have some ideas about writing a few chapters from different points of view that take place during or just prior to the events of Zentara. I'm thinking about one story for Drake, one for Turogg, and maybe one for Gilbert.

The last think I want to talk about is marketing. Most of the chapters were submitted by me on Saturday or Sunday and approved on a Tuesday or Wednesday. However, at the end I started submitting the chapters on Tuesday or Wed so they would be approved in time for the weekend. This resulted in much higher views. Additionally, using the word 'princess' in the description resulted in much more views than using her name.

Finally, thank you all again for reading the story, leaving comments, and voting. It's very flattering that my very first writing attempt received so many 'hot' ratings! Especially since most of the story isn't properly edited. If anyone would like to volunteer to edit future stories, please drop me a line. It may even light a fire under my butt and get me writing more! Once more, please leave a comment or send me feedback with any additional critiques or suggestions you may have. Thank you!

Bonus:

The original epilogue I wrote was more in a third person narrative, which I wasn't happy with. However, given some of the feedback I've received, I thought I'd include it here for your viewing pleasure. This was written some time ago, so it doesn't necessarily reflect some of the plans I made for the next stories. Also, you'll note that Agmar gets barely a mention again. That is because I have my own plans for him in the third major story, and I don't want to settle too much up front. Enjoy!

The orgy at the wedding was followed by a rash of marriages, joining the orc tribe to the Zentaran nobility. The men were more outraged than the women, who like Jeanette, had come to love and adore orc virility. While there were murmurs of rebellion, the veteran soldiers who fought with the orcs were not interested in betraying King Turogg and Queen Jeanette. Nor were the common people moved to come to the defense of the nobility. The orcs only targeted noble families for marriage to bolster their status, and left the common folk alone. With their own women protected, they were not about to commit treason to aid noble women who did not want their help to begin with.

After the initial shock had passed, the nobility came to accept the orcs as well. Their favor was necessary for position and advancement at court. Additionally, they lacked the finer skills to take on the many responsibilities of the nobility, so little actual power changed hands despite their presence. While the outrage at the ravishment of their women remained strong at first, it abated as they gained more exposure. Though they looked different and were uncouth, at heart they were much the same as humans. Besides, with most of the new orc nobility in the Duchy of Braden and King Turogg's new lands, they were out of sight and out of mind.

Once King Turogg was crowned, he transferred the title of Duke of Braden to Bodak, making his brother the new Duke. After Bodak married Susannah, she became the Duchess of Braden. While politically a good marriage, Frederick never did accept it, or forgive Jeanette for her role in it. Frederick left court to return to Haverford with his sons, and never returned. Susannah and Bodak had many children together, and developed the Duchy into a strong frontier against Heste.

Sir Drake's death went unmourned in Zentara. It was well known that the Queen did not care for him, so his disappearance from court upon her return was not remarked upon. When it was later revealed that he was dead, no one seemed to mind. His methods had alienated much of court, and even more of the common people.

King Connor of Heste never forgave Jeanette for taking the Duchy of Braden, and did not truly believe they were not complicit in his brother's death. Eight years after the war, he used orc raids on Heste as a pretext for to start another war. Thesta and Sandora, much recovered from their conflict with the orcs and not desirous of seeing them expelled from the Duchy of Braden and possibly return to the Angrian March, intervened in the war to support Zentara. This resulted in another disastrous loss for Heste, and King Connor was forced to give up more land and castles. In the following years, the orc raids got worse, and Zentara assumed more and more of the Hesten lands. By the time that Jeanette and King Turogg's second son was of age, he was able to assume the title of King of Heste after the last remnants of King Connor's lands were taken over.

King Turogg and Jeanette had twelve children together, eight boys and four girls. They ruled the Kingdom together, with King Turogg spending much of his time training the Zentaran military and learning the arts of 'civilized' warfare. Queen Jeanette managed the Kingdom, regulating trade and overseeing the budget. Zentara entered into a golden age under their leadership, being not only the wealthiest, but also a premier military power.

King Turogg ruled for sixteen years before passing away at the age of forty-six, an age considered quite advanced for the warlike and volatile orcs. His first son with Jeanette then assumed the crown, and Jeanette became the Queen Mother. Even in this position Jeanette maintained the reins on power, continuing to guide her son and the Kingdoms of Zentara and Heste.

Agmar and the rest of the half-orc children grew up with every advantage, and their stories could fill three more books. The marriage of Jeanette and Turogg would have long and far reaching consequences for the region, which would never be the same afterward.

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AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
great

Really enjoyed it.

looking forward to more stories from you!

TentacleWifeTentacleWifealmost 10 years ago

Of course, an aphrodisiac could be in the air as pheromones, and present in even stronger levels in pre and orcseed. I'm not sure where you're thinking of introducing the effect, and, admittedly, addictive cum is a fantasy of mine so take everything with a grain of salt ;>

Perhaps - with or without fluid transfer - it has a more overwhelming effect on _reluctant_ minds, thus rapidly reducing the victims of raids or wedding surprises into wet moaning orc sluts. The more willing - so close to the 'right' mindset - would experience something mild and cumulative, if noticeable at all; was our princess's 'downfall' helped along by aphrodisiacs? Or was she a 'natural' orc slut to begin with, swayed by the pleasures plowed into her by inhumanly impressive endowments?

She'd have no reason to know of any such things until seeing a girl get raped into submission. Perhaps seeing a weeping victim's metamorphosis into a pleasured addict that mewls in delight when the next orc steps up, is why she ends up so agreeable to the fate of Braden's female populace as sex slaves. They would learn her joy...maybe more; I like to imagine that poor, innocent Anne didn't yet know what she wanted in life, and that discovery came to the sounds of *squicks*. ;>

OrcDominionOrcDominionalmost 10 years agoAuthor
good idea

That is a good idea about the aphrodisiac nature of the semen. I may work something like that in, if I can find a way to do it where it isn't coming out of left field. Though probably not in the semen, as that would be a little to late. Perhaps pheromones of some kind?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago

As a sub who's rather fond of orcs, I just adored this, and was totally able to empathize with Jeanette....do continue :>

Regarding the ending...typically my fantasies that involve orc hordes are more overtly non-consensual, with raids involving elves being hauled off as slaves, then pleasured until they break into happy submission.

Here, when it happened in Braden, it did seem to clash, and make me frown at Jeanette. The court orgy was a delightful scenario, though it does seem unrealistic that everyone (most of whom don't share Jeanette's or my attraction to orcs, or submissiveness) would succumb so quickly.

If you do plan to redo the last chapter, and are open to suggestion, I happen to have something in my Bag `O Kinks that could explain such an effect; I tend to imagine orc seed has aphrodisiac qualities (which help ease those collared elves into their new roles ;>).

That might 'cheapen' Jeanette's pure, natural perversity, however, which I adored (and envied, I think). Perhaps the aphrodisiac is some sort of lube traditionally used in post-raid festivities...that would, uhm, ease things along as far as attitudes, in places.

OrcDominionOrcDominionalmost 10 years agoAuthor
thanks

Thank you anonymous guys who liked the story. I appreciate you taking the time to leave feedback.

Other anonymous guy: thank you for the feedback as well. "Enjoying" the rape is part of the fantasy for me, so while it might be unrealistic it is one of the things you just have to accept. I do understand the point though.

As to Jeanette's generaling, turogg and bodak don't have experience waging this kind of war. Zentara has been at peace for a long time, so Frederick doesn't have any practical experience. I tried to show Jeanette using common sense, rather than brilliance.

Emma,

I tried to show that Jeanette came to an agreement to share power with turogg, not that she lost all control. Given that turogg has shown he doesn't like the day to day aspects of running a kingdom, this would mean Jeanette is still in almost total control. Was this not apparent enough?

I will look at the chapter again in the rewrite. In my mind, turogg orchestrated the after party so that only orcs were on guard duty. Maybe thatbdidnt get translated to paper. Again though, the last scene isn't meant to convey a total coup against Jeanette.

Thanks again everyone for the feedback and sticking with the story. I appreciate it!

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