Painting the Bathroom

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Regret can last a lifetime.
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I would like to thank my editor HopelesslyAddicted, and my sounding board, you know who you are. And all mistakes are wholly owned and cherished by the author. There are no winners in this story. As in life that sometimes happens.


How to start, how do you write about the worse experience of your life? I guess I will have to start at the beginning and work myself to the present. First, I would like to state things did not turn out as I intended them. And I did not foresee the outcome that took place. I don't know if I could have done much of anything differently. I certainly would not have sent the letter had I known.

My name is Sara Bonecker. I am married to a wonderful man whom I know with every fiber of my being, loves me. More importantly, he respects me. Moreover, it is respect or the lack there of that brought about the dissolution of my first marriage. It is the events of my first marriage I wish to write about. Maybe putting detail into words about it will ease the burden of sorrow.

I, like most of my friends, attended university for four years. I graduated with a degree in finance. Yes, I am a banker. In these troubling times, the rest of America does not view to us too kindly. I'm sure you watch on CNN, all the fat bonuses that have been given out by banks, paid for with taxpayer money. I am not that high up the ladder so I haven't seen any of that. I'm a corporate banker. I keep my eye on Wall Street but my clients are not the big players. I deal in loans for payrolls, that sort of thing.

My first husband I met in university. He was studying for an Engineering degree. A Mechanical Engineering degree and that is all I really understand about that. Ben was the most handsome man I had ever seen. People talk about Adonis well I married Adonis. I became Mrs. Ben Dover. It was the happiest day of my life when he proposed.

Things were going to be tough. We had just graduated and we had massive student debts. We moved to New York City as the job opportunities I calculated to be the best there. Ben soon had a job with a Construction firm working on international construction projects. I took a mid level job at Bank of America. The first three years we lived in a small apartment and began to pay on our student debt. We were making good money so we managed to have fun along the way. Life was good.

In our fourth year of marriage, Ben said it was time for us to look at starting a family. He had come from a large family and so he wanted to get started on one soon after we were married. We ended up postponing our start until we had our debts under control. I argued it would curtail my career with the bank. Ben said he would take as much maternity leave as was needed and I could return to work as soon as possible. I said our apartment was not big enough for a family of three. Therefore, we went looking for a house.

When Ben and I would make love, we often talked dirty to one another and we would act out situations that would give us a thrill. My fantasies are tame and some would say lame. I wanted spontaneous sex. I wanted Ben to take me without asking. I loved it when he would sneak around the house, catch me in a compromising position, and have his way with me. Ben's fantasies lead to our demise.

Just after moving into our new house, Ben observed me looking intently at a man in a clothing store. "Are you hot for him Sara?" I was startled.

"Ben you know I only have eyes for you. Doesn't he look a lot like you?" I asked.

"Now that you mention it he does. What were you thinking about as you looked at him?"

Ben seemed to be pressing this line of thought. I did not know where he was going with it.

"Obviously he looks like you so I was wondering if he might be a cousin as I know all your brothers. Is he a cousin of yours?"

"No, first time I have ever seen him honey. Why would you think he was a cousin?"

"Just look at him Ben, he is tall like you. He has dirty blond wavy hair just like you. He is slim in the waist with broad shoulders and he has big hands just like you. Don't you see the resemblance in his facial features? And those eyes of crystal blue just like yours. He could almost be your twin Ben." Ben just smiled; I had never seen such a display before this enigmatic smile on his face.

I was not to find out then either as when we looked the man was gone and Ben and I went about our shopping.

We had this new house and it was a fixer upper. We had bought within our budget and it was a good thing we did. We had been in debt for too long to want to strap ourselves with even more. I loved the house and it was ours. I again had cause to look at my life and feel that everything was going great.

Ben and I made a list of all the repairs we thought we needed around the house. Painting the trim on the outside of the house was my first project. Make it look good on the outside while making it livable on the inside. Ben's first project was the kitchen. Paint, countertops and cabinets, were all in need of repair. His project was going to cost us more than mine did. I also took to looking after the yard and the garden. I am amazed at the amount of money you can save if you grow your vegetables. It would take three months to fix the kitchen and make the outside look presentable.

During this time, our life in the bedroom changed. Ben would initiate love making by changing his voice and his mannerisms. One day he would speak with a southern drawl and the next it would be with a Spanish accent. He seemed more vigorous during these exchanges. I was benefiting with some of the best orgasms of my life.

One day I was in the bathroom and I realized it was the next big project. Shower and sink, I think I wanted a tile floor. I was measuring the baseboards when Ben found me. In a thick Spanish accent, he said to me, "Ah I see you are waiting for a real man to come along." Before I knew what was going on he was fondling me and I was getting hot. Ben took me right there on the bathroom floor. The whole time he was talking dirty in Spanish to me. I don't speak Spanish but I had to say whatever possessed my husband was sure taking me for a ride. He torn my shorts off but left on my silk panties. He started slowly licking at my quim and the mixture of pressure and the silk drove me to a quick orgasm. Once I have my first Ben usually wants to fuck me, this was not the case today. Holding me down with his powerful hands, Ben continued to drive his tongue across my clit. Then he pulled my panties to the side and started on my puffy pussy lips. I learned a long time ago where my g-spot is. Ben found it on his first try. He has this way of curling his tongue and brushing softly to the roof of my pussy. I am lucky I guess, as my g-spot is right there just inside my entrance the distance of an inch or so. Ben lightly sways his tongue over my spot. My head is moving involuntarily by now. I have no control over my legs and my stomach is doing summersaults. My toes are so curled I think they are going to break. The combined feeling is one of flying, floating and dying all at the same time. Ben is relentless and I squirt all over his face I am drained and senseless.

Sometime later Ben is driving himself into me. He is not making love to me now he is fucking me. His cock is driving my spot as he makes these short fast thrusts into my pussy. After no more than ten of these, I go into a continuous squirting frenzy. Screaming in ecstasy until I am hoarse, my body is not my own any more. Ben has taken it, possessed it. I am but a toy for his amusement and I love it when I am conscious of my surroundings.

Staying conscious is hard work as I pass from moment to moment. Then Ben takes pity on me. His thrusts go deeper and the angle takes the pressure off my spot. He is going like an animal, but still he is showing his control and skill. Each thrust just barely hitting my cervix. Just enough force to tell my body he is as deep as he should go and not enough force to hurt me. God I love this man. And then finally, Ben rears back snarling what I can only assume is invective in Spanish. His cock wonderfully expands and I can feel his seed being unleashed into the deepest parts of me. I pass out for a time. I find myself, when I wake lying on our bed, I still don't have much control over my legs. Ben is grinning at me.

"Water!" Is my only word, I am dehydrated from all my moaning and screaming. My pussy has that delightful contented ache of having just been fucked. My clit is still too sensitive to touch. I look at the clock; we had been in there for over an hour.

I am a practical girl and so strange things go through my head at times like these. I had made three decisions. One we needed to paint the bathroom. Two I was not going to have sex on the floor again for quite some time if I could avoid it. And three I was going to ask Ben what this was all about.

We took a shower together and made plans to eat out at our favorite bistro. Hot sex, dinner and dancing followed by more hot sex, I love it when a plan comes together. But not all things go as planned. The dinner and dancing were a great wind up for what would be a celebration of being married to a man like Ben. We raced home from our night on the town. The only thought in my head was comfort and sex in our big bed. Ben ruined everything.

"Honey have you ever thought of having sex with another man?"

"No Ben what brought that idea up?"

"Remember the guy at the mall? I saw the look you gave him. I understand that attraction can't be helped. I would understand if you wanted the attention of other men."

"I have you Ben and I don't want anyone else. If this is the moment you tell me you want a threesome with another woman, understand one thing. I am a one-man woman Ben. I don't share nor do I wish to be shared." I was getting upset and you could hear it in my voice.

"Sara I don't want another woman. We always talk about our fantasies. And to be honest I want to see you with another man."

"Talking and doing are two different things Ben. I think that ends this discussion." I rolled over and made myself unavailable. My mind was racing faster than the drive home. Who was I married to?

I didn't get much sleep that night, too much thinking.

Life returned to normal for us after that non-argument. Ben and I engaged in sex on a regular basis, gone were the accents and the role of another man. The sex was good and I was happy with the way our life was going. "Ben? We need to start our next project, the bathroom."

"Sara we need to start a different project, the child making. Remember all this is so we could start a family. Sara we need to put more time into that project, the bathroom can wait until we have results on that project."

"Last time we were looking at working on the bathroom Ben, I distinctly remember that we worked on the child making project too. I am not suggesting that we leave off that project for the bathroom but I think we have been doing a good job where that project is concerned. I want you to paint the bathroom. I have the colors all picked out. I want you to choose from the samples which color you like."

"As long as the bathroom doesn't get in the way of baby making any color is fine with me Sara. I trust your judgment."

"Tomorrow I will get the paint and the supplies. You will have to get a hold of that contractor that is going to do the basin and shower renovations."

"I'll call them and see if they care whether it is painted first or should be painted after."

"Oh I hadn't thought of that."

So Ben got his way, we ended up working on the baby for the rest of the day. I can't say I really have anything to complain about. I like working on babies. I wonder if I am going to like having babies.

The contractor informed Ben that doing the painting after would allow them to work faster as they would not have to worry about damaging the paint if it was to be replaced. The contractors were waiting on the fixtures for the bathroom and we were waiting on the contractors. This gave Ben and I time to work on his pet project. I never worked so hard in my life.

At about this time Ben started in on the Spanish and accent. He was more spontaneous with his lovemaking and I guess there was no real harm in his fantasies. As long as they stayed just that, reality and fantasy in this instance do not mix.

Two weeks passed and still the contractors are waiting for the fixtures. I guess that is what happens when you want something specific instead of what is in the showroom.

Work at the bank was beginning to become hectic. I was starting to spend a considerable amount of time on over time. The economic situation was worsening and the housing market was beginning to crash. The bank began to tighten up on all forms of loans. And that brought clients in to plead their case with the management, me. To the businesses that I had a long-standing relationship, I would send my recommendation up the chain of command. This did not always secure the loan these businesses needed. Makes no sense to me why we were not loaning these good clients the money they needed. After all, they had good reputations and had no defaults on previous loans. In effect, they were as secure a guarantee on a loan as one could hope for. But the banks were in a panic. Little did I know that all hell was breaking loose.

Ben's work on the other hand was flourishing. He had mission statements to write, schedules to keep and a host of small decisions to make. I had not seen him happier in a long time. Our bedroom fun, kitchen fun.... just about anywhere fun, was going strong.

He still played the Spanish lover even if I considered it absurd. After all, he has blond hair and white skin; he doesn't look Mediterranean in the least. But close your eyes and his voice and accent could trick you. The sex was good... no it was very good.

Ever had that feeling that when things are going great something bad is just around the corner? Every time I heard that accent, I got that feeling. I made myself keep my eyes open because I didn't want to buy into his fantasy. I didn't want anyone coming between my husband and me. I guess I just don't understand the compulsion. My husband didn't act like a wimp and here he wanted me to fuck a strange man, over my dead body.

The contractors finally arrived with the basin and shower stall. The lighting had been done while we waited. I had the mirror ready for when the contractors finished. And suddenly fate decided to lend a hand. One of the workers was none other than the man from the mall. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that things were going to go wrong. I trust my instincts; they had never failed me before. One day, two at the most and then he would be gone. I decided to avoid the situation by spending more time at work. A win-win situation for me, I would avoid a potential confrontation with Ben and I would get caught up on my workload. I only wish it had worked.

I arrived home at six that evening, Ben was in the kitchen making dinner. This had become a routine since the mortgage crisis. I went to him and kissed him hello.

"How was your day dear? Anything new and existing happen with your latest project?" We made it a point to show interest in each other's careers. I had learned a great deal about his engineering work over the years. And I think Ben could become an accomplished Banker if he wanted to. I was also avoiding a conversation I did not want.

"Well nothing new happened today at work. Sara go look in the bathroom it is almost finished. They even put the mirror up for us. They are going to be back tomorrow to do the finishing touches on the grout and moldings."

I went and looked in the bathroom. Everything seemed to be in order. The tile had been laid and the basin and cabinet installed. The shower looked just like I had pictured it. I felt a sense of relief, but not over the work that was done. Ben had not mentioned the man. Maybe we were going to get through this. I should have known better.

That night Ben was an animal in bed, actually, he was an animal in the kitchen first then a caveman as he took me back to his lair. The Spanish was coming hot and heavy and I was left a quivering mess by the time he ran out of steam. God I love this man. What I didn't understand then is love is fleeting and can, given the right circumstances, turn on a dime.

I did not marry for money; I didn't marry for social position. I married for love, and given what happened, I wouldn't change a thing I did, accept for sending that letter. If I have one regret, besides wanting my marriage to succeed, it would be that I never even wrote that letter. But I did and I will have to live with the consequences the rest of my life.

I thought I had dodged a bullet. The man from the mall had worked on our bathroom and Ben had not reintroduced his interest in my interest of him. Does that sound confusing to you? It still confuses me today. I thought Ben loved me, I believed that with all my heart. It was not so, and Ben would prove it too me.

So I had just dodged the bullet, life was good. Or so I thought. I inspected the work done in the bathroom. Noted that we still needed to paint the walls and install the lighting. Ben had taken me to bed and the sex was heavenly. Ben just seems to know when I want it hard and when I wanted in soft and romantic. It would be the last time I would be made love to by Ben. Only we didn't know it then.

The next day dawned like any other day. We showered and did our normal morning routine before heading off to work. Although I had caught up on a great deal of my extra workload, I was still behind. By noon I knew I would be spending a little time working over at the end of my day. I called Ben to tell him I would be late, "Ben, I am swamped here and I will be about an hour late tonight. Do you want me to bring take-out home or do you just want to delay supper until I get there?"

"I want you to wait I will start supper later and it will be ready for you when you get home. Sara I have a surprise for you in the bedroom for this evening. You will need to eat a big meal to keep your strength up."

"After a day like today that sounds perfect, I can't wait for my surprise. I'll talk to you later, love you."

"I love you too bye."

"Bye."

The rest of the day dragged as only a day can, when you are anticipating as I was. I never lost focus though. A new account was giving me problems but at 5:30 I packed it in and headed home. I never put my work ahead of Ben and I never would. A job is a job but the love of your life is your life.

I returned home and didn't notice the truck parked on the street in front of the house. I should have but I was in a rush to see what the surprise was. I opened the door and like many times before I called out for Ben.

"Ben I'm home and I am starving. What are we having for dinner?" I strolled to the kitchen and Ben was slaving over the stove.

He moved and kissed me passionately. "We are having steaks this evening. They will be a little while, why don't you go shower and tell me about your day."

I moved to the bedroom all the while telling him about the new account. How the bank was bulking at readying the funds for this new business venture. My argument was that the customer is a long-standing one with good credit practices. But with the economic times it was beginning to look like a hard sell to the people upstairs.

I started the shower and stepped in. The hot water was soothing. I could not hear anything but the running water and was surprised when Ben entered the shower. I didn't turn around.

"Who's cooking supper if you are in here with me?"

Ben started soaping my back and kissing my neck. My eyes closed as I had already soaped my face. I put my face under the water as Ben continued to lather my breasts. His hand slipped down to caress my pussy. I turned to kiss him and my eyes opened. I screamed. This was not Ben. I pushed him back against the shower wall. My knee came up and struck him in the groin. All the time I was yelling for Ben. My heart was going a mile a minute. I had to get out of there, where was Ben?

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