Paris: The City of Light & Lust

If I live, I will fight, wherever I must, as long as I must, until the enemy is defeated and the national stain washed clean.

- General Charles de Gaulle

* * *

As Nicole stood looking out the full-length window of her Paris loft, she reflected on the changes the city had gone through over the past few years. It was the Spring of 1943, and life for Nicole had changed since the Germans stormed into and occupied Paris, the city she loved since first discovering it as a child. Gazing out the smoky colored glass, she focused her eyes on the Notre Dame, perched majestically on the river Seine. She marveled at its twin towers reaching sixty-nine meters up towards the sky and like so many of the French, was grateful no damage had come to it during the German occupation. Its walls were intact as was her life, yet it's outline against the cold gray skyline equaled her own somber feelings. Known as the "City of Light", Paris no longer shone brightly, and for some, the darkness was overwhelming.

Nicole resented that the French military had not been fully prepared for a potential invasion. While the rest of the world made superior war machines and all the French could do was to make some idiotic wall to keep the intruders out of France. The timid, ineffective effort reminded her of children drawing lines in the dirt, and daring each other not to cross it. The uncertainties of war frightened Nicole, and she yearned for the days when she and her parents strolled along the Seine together. The time they spent there held many memories for Nicole. Even as a child, she would found a sense of peace and strength along the Seine. Nicole longed for the simplicity and security that her childhood had offered, but she feared that it had left her forever.

Schooled in Paris, and educated in English at home, she grew up literate in both French and English, which facilitated her employment at the small travel agency. The business attracted many people, despite the scarcity of money. Nicole had long suspected the business was a smoke screen for the Resistance, but she never asked questions, believing it to be safer for her. The French, who found the Nazi slaughter of Jews so horrific and intolerable, joined the Resistance to stop or slow the German's efforts. Her friend Demi, worked sporadic hours and often disappeared without warning, which led Nicole to believe Demi was involved with the "inside activities." The two had grown up together, and it was through Demi she met Armand, the one true love of her life. Nicole met Armand at a party, and the two had hit it off immediately.

"What is wrong ma chere?" Armand asked. From they day they met, Armand had an uncanny ability to gauge her moods.

Withdrawing from her far away thoughts, Nicole turned to look at Armand. The pre-dawn light coming through the window outlined her flawless figure, temporarily hidden by her white cotton nightgown. Her jet-black hair cascaded down her back and over her shoulders, lending a striking contrast to her porcelain colored skin.

Moving towards him, she sighed and said, "Oh Armand, nothing is the same anymore. I hate this war and all the misery it brings. So many lives tortured. Why can't things go back to they way they once were?"

Armand pulled her into bed, drawing her close to him under the feather comforter. Cradling her face in his hands, he kissed her lips, lightly touching them. Safe in his arms, Nicole pushed all thoughts of war out of her head.

"Nicole, if I could give you back the Paris you grew up in, I would. The war has changed everything but my love for you."

Pulling him closer to her, Nicole tasted his sweet lips. Being with him was all that mattered now. Sitting up she pulled the nightgown over her head before lying on top of him.

"I know you love me…"

"But?"

"But I miss Paris."

"Nicole, Paris is all around you."

"The German's Paris. Not my Paris."

"I understand."

"I want to be able to go outside without wondering if bombs will be dropped in the next few minutes."

"And I want to know my friends are not in any danger. I despise the Germans stalking us like open prey. It scares me, Armand."

She kissed his cheeks, and found pleasure as her lips moved over the roughness of his face. She felt the urgency of his sexual hunger as his mouth came down hard aggressively on hers. She sucked hard on his tongue, while he pushed his tongue deep in her mouth, seeking out his own pleasure. Positioning herself over him, she rubbed her pubic bone over his stiffness, causing him gasp. He cupped her breast and caressed the soft pale mound of flesh, closing his fingers around the firm pink nipple.

"Oh Armand, I love you so much. I want to be with you forever."

Pulling her close, his lips pressed hard into hers, and his tongue pushed deep in her warm mouth. They continued exploring each other; both aware of how and where to elicit desire using their tongues and hands. Covering her nipple with his mouth, and sucking eagerly, shivers of excitement started flowing through her. Nicole let out a series of soft moans, similar to a cat purring, which heightened Armand's state of arousal. Moving his hand between her legs, and feeling the warmth of her excitement, he began pushing his fingers deep inside her.

"God Nicole, you are so beautiful to me."

Nicole closed her eyes, concentrating on Armand's every move. She pulled him closer, as her desire intensified and urged him to go deeper inside her.

"Armand, take me, make love to me, Armand. I want you so much."

He guided his erect shaft between her soft folds, now moistened with her lust for him, and began pushing slowly into her. She loved watching him as he made love to her, his excitement building and then eventually releasing deep within her.

"Oh baby, I so love you."

"Oh Armand," was all Nicole could utter.

She wrapped her legs tightly around him as he drove himself harder and deeper into her, not wanting to release him, until her feelings of pleasure were unleashed. The sexual frenzy did not last, and within seconds, both were moaning as waves of pleasure moved through them.

"Oh Armand, it feels so good. I love making love to you in the morning."

"Nicole, my love, I love you, and wish I could spend the day in bed with you, but it is time for work."

As Armand headed to the shower, Nicole watched, fascinated as the muscles of his ass rippled with each step. He was tall, blonde, and very muscular. She told him often he could pass for being of German descent, which allowed him to pass freely on the streets without being harassed like so many others. Armand had an obsession for keeping physically fit, which had always puzzled Nicole, since his job did not require any real physical strength.

Lying in bed, Nicole reflected on her relationship with Armand.

They had lived together for six months, and in her dreams, they would eventually marry, but with the uncertainties of war, their future was also uncertain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nicole and Demi were sharing lunch and giggling like two schoolchildren, when a co-worker approached them. She handed Demi a note, and Nicole watched as her friend's demeanor changed to one of worry. As the co-worker briskly hurried away, Demi grabbed her unfinished sandwich and threw it into her lunch basket.

"Demi, is everything alright?" Nicole asked, grabbing Demi's arm.

"Yes, I am okay, but I need to tell you something."

Demi scanned the room, leaned in closer to Nicole, and in a whispered voice began telling Nicole about her connections with a group called "The Sixth." She explained the purpose of this small group of the Resistance was to help Jews escape from the hands of the Germans. They primarily placed children into non-Jewish homes for protection and helped others escape over the borders into Spain and Switzerland. Demi's involvement was assisting in the production of forged identity papers.

Nicole sat tearing papers in front of her into small pieces, and listened intently to what Demi was telling her. She had suspected her friend was involved in the Resistance, but she refused accept the fact that war had invaded her own small world. She knew fellow Frenchmen were helping the Jews, and she knew the repercussions if caught. Nicole understood the danger her friend was dealing with, but at the same time, she admired her courage for helping.

"Demi, what you are doing is dangerous. You must be careful."

"Nicole, I am telling you this for one reason. We need more help, and I think you should consider helping us. You and Armand could work together."

Demi let out a small gasp and put her hand to her mouth, and Nicole knew Demi had betrayed Armand's confidence.

"What do you mean? Is Armand helping too?"

Nicole sat back in her chair, sighed, and proceeded to cry softly. It was bad enough she might lose not only her best friend, but Armand too.

"He will tell you in his own way, but I will share that he is helping us too. He has the connections we need. Please, you must ask him."

Nicole returned to her job after lunch, and searched the office for any signs that others might be involved. Who else was involved, and for how long? When was this all going to end? She could not wait to get home to Armand, to discuss his association with the Resistance. Or could she?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking through her front door, the familiar smell of cooked sausages and the warmth of her flat welcomed her home. Armand was in the kitchen preparing their dinner, just as he normally did, and she wondered how she would broach him about Demi's revealing remarks.

"Armand! I am home."

As she approached the kitchen and looked into his eyes, she saw in them the look of worry and knew instantly that Demi had forewarned him. Rushing to his open arms, she felt his strength and love and never wanted to let him go. The tears began uncontrollably, and his soothing touch did little to alleviate her fear. Armand pushed her away, breaking her hold on him, and took her face in his hands, kissing away the tears.

"My sweet Nicole, you must not worry."

"Armand, I am frightened that I might lose you."

"I am being very careful. But you must understand I have to help these people. It is not fair that they have been harassed and beaten for no reason."

"I know Armand, but it is dangerous to help them."

"It would be wrong for me to stand by and watch what is happening in our country. And now that you know, I must ask you something."

She loved him so much, but she could not see the good he was doing through her fears. All she focused on was the war and the damage it had done to Paris and to those she loved, including her own mother and father, who were both killed when the German troops invaded. 'Doesn't he know why I am so scared?'

"Armand, I understand why you must do this, but I also know I could lose you."

"Nicole, I can't stand by and watch. I have to help."

"I am worried. I can't lose you too."

Overcome by her feelings, she began to sob again, and reached for the counter to maintain her balance. Her body trembled as Armand picked her up and moved her to the bed, where he removed her clothes, and covered her with the thick soft bedding. Undressing, he joined her, and pulled her close. He stroked her hair, rubbed the soft skin of her arms, and with his soothing voice comforting her, he gave Nicole a sense of security she always felt when in his arms.

When more composed, Nicole raised her head and looked into his eyes. She knew the lighthearted man she made love to this morning was now gone, and in his place was a man who now had more than Nicole to worry him did. The war had now pushed into her life even more deeply than she had thought it could, and no matter how hard she tried to push it out of her life, it had now had taken a hold of her too.

Leaning into him, she kissed his chin. She loved the feeling of his facial stubble at the end of the day. Her finger traced his lips, and in doing so, she sent him the message she needed him. He turned to face her, and their mouths met, softly at first, with each other's tongue skillfully playing together. Finding his mouth to be so inviting and warm, she pushed her tongue deep in his mouth, exploring it as if it was the first time. Armand cupped her breast pinching a nipple, enticing Nicole to become more aggressive.

She grabbed his hardness, and began rubbing it, listening to his soft guttural moans. Moving down between his legs, she began licking him. Eagerly taking him in her mouth, she moved her tongue around the swollen head, enjoying the spongy texture, and the taste of his pre-cum. Her lips pulled at the tip, teasing him. He moved up in the bed, positioning himself to watch her better.

"Ohh, Nicole, I love you baby. You make me feel so good."

Enticed by his words, and a strong physical desire for him, she took as much of him as she could in her mouth and sucked hard. Her mouth rode up and down on him, and with each stroke, she attempted to take him deeper. She moved her tongue over the ridge and swirled it, teasing him, taking him right about to the edge. He watched her every move, and when she cupped his balls, she heard him moan as if he were ready to climax.

"Nicole, I have to let go. Take it if you wish, but I need to let go baby."

Nicole had only once allowed him to climax in her mouth, and he never minded that she did not do it again. This time was different. She took him again in her mouth, and as she did, she pushed her finger in his ass, deep enough to make him move uncontrollably beneath her mouth.

"Nicole, I am cumming baby. Now."

She did not care. She wanted to please him tonight in every way she knew how. He soon exploded in the back of her throat causing her to gag and sputter. She allowed him to fall out of her mouth, regained her composure and began licking the remains of his climax, savoring him completely.

Armand reached for her, and pulled her up to him, kissing her mouth, and she could taste the blend of his seed and her own sweetness, which she found to be so erotic. The sex they shared was fervent and intense, as if they were making love for the last time.

"Nicole, I love you so much. You excite me so much. Please do not be scared."

"I love you too, Armand."

"I will take care of you. When you make love to me like it will be the last time, it makes me sad."

She looked into his eyes, and moved in closer to him.

"Please make love to me, Armand. I want you so much, like never before."

He rolled her over and moving over her, he kissed her lips gently. Moving his mouth over the softness of her breasts, he sought out her nipple. He licked and sucked them each softly, taking the time to love them each separately. Nicole's moans grew louder as he moved over every inch of her. He pushed a finger deep in her wetness, and instantly knew his next move. As he moved over her sex, Nicole relaxed and closed her eyes, enjoying every small surge of pleasure that moved over her like ripples in a pond.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nicole woke up in the middle of the night, startled, and discovered Armand was not at her side. She quickly threw back the covers, looked around the room, and called out his name. She found him on the balcony, starring out over the city, now blanketed in moonlight.

"What is wrong my love?" She asked him.

"Nicole, there is something I must tell you. I have been asked to leave Paris to go to Le Havre."

"Le Havre? Why?"

"They need my help there."

"Oh Armand, I don't want to lose you. Not now."

"Nicole, I want to go. I want you to go with me. Please tell me yes."

What was left of her crumbling walls, seemed to fall away completely. Nicole had lost her parents, her childhood home, and now she faced the possibility of losing her one true love. Did he seriously think she would want to leave Paris? The remainder of her family and friends were here, and a job that she loved. She could not leave her flat. This is where she felt the safest. It was here she could almost shut out the war. Why was he making her go through this nightmare? The thoughts raced through her head at a fast pace.

"Armand, I cannot leave my friends or my job."

"Nicole, I can take care of you. I love you."

"I love you too, but I don't think I can go."

Armand pulled her close, and whispered he loved her dearly. He informed her the Resistance needed him more, and she had to understand this. She clung to him, hoping this horrid nightmare would soon be over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As weeks passed, Nicole made little effort to settle into life without Armand. She had trouble sleeping and ate very little most days. Demi could not offer much support, as she was leaving Paris within a few weeks. Nicole felt the whole world had gone mad. Country against country, and man against man, and the horrors of the persecution of Jews was the worse. The stories coming back into France about Hitler made Nicole sick to her stomach. People were being tortured to death simply because of the accident of their birth. No matter how hard she thought about it, or how much it had entered their lives, she did not understand how war had swept over them with such intensity. Their lives forever altered.

Nicole's closest friends were doing all they could to help the Jews running for their lives. One of her friends had taken Jews into her home to hide them, and only shared this information with Nicole because she was collecting blankets. As Nicole learned more about what everyone was doing to help, she slowly began to realize she needed to help as well. She had to get out of Paris and find Armand. She knew he had not contacted her for fear of discovery by the Gestapo. So many secrets and so many lives depended on hushed words.

Nicole heard a knock on her door one afternoon while packing to leave Paris. Overcome by fear, and hesitated in answering it. However it was the insistent knocking and yelling out of her name that lead her to open it, only to find several German soldiers and an officer staring back at her.

"Guten tag Mademoiselle."

"Yes, what do you want?" Nicole asked.

The Germans did not answer and pushing Nicole aside one of them forced his way into her flat. He moved about the flat in a brisk manner, looking through her things, leading Nicole to believe he was looking for something specific. Overwhelmed by terror, she remained quiet.

"Where is Armand Gautier?"

"I do not know, sir. He left me weeks ago for another woman. He is trash. I do not care where he is." She answered harshly.

Nicole could feel the bile rise in her throat as she lied. The other German officers began pulling things out of her drawers, speaking in low voices.

The officer grabbed Nicole with force and demanded she tell him where Armand was hiding.

"I do not know. I hope he is dead, that louse of a man. I hate him. If you find him, kill him. I do not care."

She wanted to bite her tongue as the words left her mouth, but she had no choice but to make him look like a horrid man. She needed to remain calm, so the Germans would not smell her fear.

Try not to look at them in their eyes.

The German let go of her arm, convinced Armand was not there. Scanning the room for a final time, he looked back into Nicole's eyes and said, "If you are hiding him, and we find out, we will kill you both."

"You are packing to leave. Where are you going?" He continued to interrogate her as if she were a prisoner.

"I'm going to the coast to see some family."

"What family?"

"My aunt lives there and she has been sick. I must go to her."

Nicole did not back down from his insistent questioning, and answered each question with a sincere expression. She suspected they had her under surveillance, and would continue to watch her every move. However, she had to get out of Paris as quickly as possible, even though it would be risky.